whats wrong with me?

I didnt track at all yesterday. I've chosen to write it off (bad thing to do I know but right now I dont care!) Didnt have breakfast till 12pm and that was only a cereal bar. Then lunch consisted of roast chicken with all the gravy trimmings, roast veges and fat, fat, fat!! Felt so bad about that so I didnt have dinner till 9pm ... a bag of rice chips oh and two hot chocolates with whipped cream and marshmellows... hmm let me see ... maybe only around 22 or 23 pts ... seemed like a lot more. but certainly didnt eat regularly and my water was around ummm 1 glass!! lol

I'm still really stressed and cant stop crying. Our finances arent helping. We've spent about $1000 on doing up the house this month so we havent paid our bills yet. We always get over it but still not easy. The answer to
this is for Bill to do 12hr days all week so we can at least cover the mortgage, which means I am stuck again here for hours on end by myself ... all just one big horrible circle!! And to top it off Bill went to church yesterday with the kids (I was home cooking a roast for friends coming for lunch, and painting the fence). This lady came up to him (shes the psycho one from across the road) and asked where I was. He replied I was at home at which she said (almost in a shout) "Oh is she at home SMOKING!!" Loud enough for everyone to hear! Well there goes going back to that church
again! lol... The thing that pisses me off about that one is she claims she has a spirit of lust problem (yeah I know ... crazy!! lol!!) and she comes onto any male within a 10mtr radius!! (including my HUSBAND!!) She has the cheek to come and ask to use my fax machine all the time... I tell ya next time she arrives I'm gonna go tell her to go jump!!

So I've had a pretty stressful weekend but still not stressful enough to answer why I cant stop crying all the time. I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't face going to the gym either at the moment, can't face food, water ... hmmm not good. I didn't even want to update my online journal
because I'm sick of writing negative stuff there. I don't like to seem like a weak, attention seeker, so I just avoid everyone and everything... feeling like crawling back into bed and not facing the world today. If I didn't have kids that's exactly where I would still be.

Probably a good thing that the real estate agent is coming round to photograph the house today so had meant I HAVE to get on with life, tidying up this damn house.

All that negative stuff aside ... I tried on Bill's jeans last night and they were actually baggy on me. I was lying on the couch skiting to him how I could fit his jeans then when I sat up the zip popped open!! It actually broke so it couldnt be done up again... oh no ... and just after I was feeling so good about them too lol. They weren't tight on me at all so they must have been ready to break but still doesnt make you feel too hot lol.

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.8kg
GW 65kg