Another milestone

I really apologise for my lack of updates. As you've all probably guessed yes my computer is still on the blink. I tried to download spybot and not sure shy but it cost me $39 US and then they didn't send through the activation key!! Grrrr!! I sent them another email to find out what the story was and I got an automatic reply to say my email would be looked at in the next 24hrs and it's now 3 days later and I haven't heard a thing!! Grrrr again!!! So I'm at the point of throwing the computer out the window!!

I have someone at the station who knows quite a bit about viruses and he's offered to have a look at it for me, so that's my next step.

Onto a happier note ... I had my weekly weighin this morning. Normally it's done on a Wednesday but the other girls were going to be busy, so they postponed it for a day to today ... and ...

I lost 2kgs this week!! Yeeehawwww!! Which brings me to my next goal achieved ... to get below my original start weight of 107.4kgs, and a total loss of 17kgs. My next milestone to work on is to get to 20kgs lost... three kgs to go!!

Not far ...

Got my station girls losing weight too :)

I'm half way through my assignment ... got all the yucky NZ Law stuff done which is the worst of it. I must admit I'm feeling rather disjointed with not having internet at home. Especially not being able to catch up with what all you guys are up to on a daily basis. So don't any of you go having any groundbreaking news until I'm back in the land of the living, ok? :)

I spoke to a customer yesterday who also had the same virus as me and she said hers came through the new bubble xtra thing they have done. Hmmm, very interesting! We are with xtra but don't have the bubble thing set up. How bad is that if it is through the new xtra upgrade??? I'm still not totally sure where it came from. She's had her computer in with a computer geek for over 2 days now and they still can't fix it! And at $65 an hour!!!! Linda I looked up that software you recommended but for the free version it doesn't scan for spyware and I'm too much of a scrooge to pay out any more money ... yet. I've also been told about Adaware.com so I'll look into that when I get a chance.

I'm quite chuffed at the moment, I've managed to get lots of us here at the station all trying to lose weight! There are now four of us girls on some sort of weightloss program so it makes it a bit more exciting get that support from eachother.

Well that's about me for the moment, not much else happening. Sorry the smilies at the start of my blog have to go on hold for a bit until I get my home computer up and running again. I'm not able to download any programs onto the station computer, so it's just the bare basics for now.

still no internet!! grrrr!!!

HAHA Lynise that is exactly what I've done. Currently at an internet cafe PAYING for my internet!!!

I'm changing over my weighin scales to the ones at my 'piglets playgroup' scales so I can be more accountable and hopefully get to the stage of putting my scales away (yeah right!! lol). The leaders scales are pretty much the same as mine except I weigh with clothes on there and in the nuddy at home. Last week I weighed in at 108.0kg and this week I maintained the same weight. I'm very happy with that given my big loss last week and having to make a few tricky choices with food while at my course.

I'm spending alot of time doing my 60hr assignment for my assessment this week. That combined with no internet I can't see myself spending much time on here. Hopefully I can get my internet sorted soon but it's not looking hopeful!! :( My computer has basically been mangled by a horrible virus (which wasn't my doing I might add!!) hmmm wonder who??

I'll keep trying with it, but might have to be a new laptop! heheh that sounds like a good idea!

Better go my time is nearly up ... byyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Just got back

SUNDAY ...

I've just gotten back from my ambulance course and loved it! (as always) Pretty tired! I realised when I was at the course that I forgot to post Friday's update. I had typed it all out but got called out on a job and had to rush out, then didn't get back to station till 7.30pm, so it didn't get published. So putting it up now for you. Sorry, better late than never I guess.

Bill informed me when I got home on Friday night that we had a virus on our computer ... grrrr!!!! So much for Nortons doing it's job!! I haven't had a chance to look at it yet, hopefully I can sort it out! Don't worry I'm doing this update from the station.

Anyway here's Friday's update ... I'll fill you in more on the weekend when I get a chance.

FRIDAY ...

Did ya like my bit of humour? Chris asked me if I'd had my 'big event' yet so thought I'd do a bit of photoshop work. Unfortunately I'm one of those unlucky people who doesn't have a flash big event, just lots and lots and LOTS of little events... heheh

Had another busy day on duty today and attended my first death. Although fortunately I didn't have to see the body as the police were already on scene when we arrived and stood us down as we got into the house, due to the fact that he'd been deceased for too long to warrant resuscitation. I still don't know how I will react on having my first patient die. Everyone responds differently to do and St Johns has a great support service for us if we feel we need to get counselling with anything.

Onto my colon cleanse ... It was supposed to be my last set of 40 capsules to take this morning but given the fact that I could have been away from a toilet for up to 3hrs at a time on the ambulance I postponed the last lot till tonight. In the instruction booklet they say this is ok. So as of 6pm tonight I will be officially cleansed! :o)

My ambulance partner and I had to back up Paeroa today and I had previously planned on having a subway salad for lunch. But I soon learnt there is no subway in Paeroa! So a bakery was the nearest thing I could find. For the first time in 9 days I had something other than fruit/veges/yoghurt ... a chicken/salad wrap. Initially I was disappointed but realised the choice was out of my hands and I still made a good choice in spite of the dilemma. I chose a wrap instead of a bread roll so that has to be good enough. Was either that or starve, which is not an option.

Tomorrow and Sunday I'm off to Mount Maunganui for my ambulance PRD (professional role development) course where I will learn all about work stress, grief, cultural awareness and NZ law. In the service it's known as the 'tree hugging course'. There's no exam at the end of this one, just a 60hr written assignment!! (to be done in 3mths)

All our food and accomodation is supplied so that's very nice although might be a bit tricky with food choices. I will just have to do the best I can with what is supplied.

Once my written assignment is finished and I pass I get my next patch (on my ambulance sleeve) Primary Care 2 ... very flash!! Which leaves me 'ambulance officer', 'paramedic' and 'advanced paramedic' to achieve. Each of which takes at least a year to obtain. Something to strive for.

As I put my ambulance uniform on this morning I needed to go to the next hole on my belt ... hole number 6!!! Yeeehawww!! And my final hole ... next will have to be a new belt! I feel very chuffed about that!!

So I'll be back on Monday to update again on how my course went, and more importantly ... the food choices I made. I'll try my best to be a good girl ... promise!!!

For Chris ...

Judge for yourself ...

Thankyou all so much for your comments, loved each and every one!!

I was going to leave this till Friday or Monday when my detox is completed but I'm getting asked alot now whether I notice any changes so I figure I'll bring the evaluation forward to today. I'm also on ambo tomorrow and away on my next ambo course Saturday/Sunday.

As everyone is different and has different issues to face I thought I'd give a background of me first and why I chose to do this.

Initially the thing that grabbed my attention about a colon detox was when Jo did it and lost 6kgs in her first week. I was stunned that someone could lose that much. So of course not thinking about the benefits to my body I just thought "I want to lose that much too". So I started doing a bit of research on the net and asking around.

I remembered back to when a customer was telling me about this detox thing a year ago and he was raving about it. Now this took my attention as not many men care that much about their bodies to do something like that and then to actually notice the changes in his body. To me, I think that females are far more intune with their bodies than men. So it must be pretty good for him to notice the benefits.

The lady in the healthshop across the road reaffirmed his comments. But I was a little shocked at the price. I think she noticed the look on my face. She told me I'd never look back, that it was really that good. I took this with a grain of salt given that it would probably double her sales for the day.

I took a brochure away, did some more internet exploring and basically mulled it over in my head for the next six weeks.

For the past 6mths while on ww points I have stuck to my points but had worked out ways of 'cheating'. I knew all the points for every packet of chips there were. My fruit and vege intake had majorly gone downhill and I was having to survive on sugarfree redbull, V's or coffees to get me through the day. I put my lethargy down to my lack of exercise and would beat myself up about it.

Of course I would have a healthy breakfast of vege soup and 3 slices of bread. Then bread sandwich for lunch, packet of chips in the afternoon and finished by plenty of pasta for dinner. I was still within points for the day but what I was eating was CRAP!!! And I wandered why I lacked energy?? I reckon probably 40-45% of my daily intake was bread,pasta,potatoes or sugar.

So day one of the detox ... man did I suffer!!! I thought I was gonna run out of go and kark it!! I was soooo hungry ... all day!!!!

Day 2 and 3 was a little better but I still missed my bread.

Onto Day 8 today and I don't miss it one bit. My energy levels have gone through the roof. I no longer need redbulls, or v's or coffee. Infact I've only had one coffee (for social reasons) in the last 5 days and I had it with no sugar (normally have 1tsp) and it tasted fine.

Infact that's another thing I've noticed ... my taste buds have changed. Because I'm not eating any sugar other than fruit I can taste things better. I also cut out salt, where I used to add a tsp in the veges at night, now I don't bother and I haven't noticed the difference.

I think the biggest change tho has been my lack of hunger. Still having my 3 meals and 2 snacks ... but I eat because it's time to eat, not because I can't think of anything else but food.

So briefly ... the pros & cons ...

Cons ...

• It's truly hard work especially in the first 3 days
• Costs around $119 depending on the brand you choose
• Of course the 80 capsules each day is a chore but does get easier
• Difficult to come up with ideas for meals, especially dinners
• Burp up 'herbal' yucky burps for half an hour after each tablet taking session
• On day 3 & 4 of tablets, got sick of running to toilet

Pros ...

• Cravings for packet food (chips etc.) has vanished
• Energy levels hugely increased, alert & vibrant in the mornings, not tired at night
• Hunger levels decreased, especially afternoon times
• Positive mindset, clearer thinking
• Skin clearer, acne decreasing
• Of course weightloss
• Taste changed, appreciate natural sugars, don't need salty foods
• Drinking less caffeine drinks

So there you have it from me. The other 'medical' benefits ie. boils, psoriasis clearing, I will have to keep monitoring that one as time will tell.

Amazing to think I only have one more day to go and I'm done. This has DEFINATELY, DEFINATELY been worth it. Becks mentioned at the start to me that I will learn alot about my own body and it has been so true. I have also come to really appreciate natural food for what it is.

Initially I chose to do this detox as a weightloss tool but it's done far more than that for me. It's been the springboard to a much happier, healthier way of eating for me and one that I'm going to continue.

Over the next week I will gradually add protein (meat, milk, cheese) into my diet but I'm choosing at this stage to omit bread, pasta, white rice, chips, potatoes. If I'm not missing it ... why have it?

Day 7 detox - weighin day

Well I did have an 'event' but as to whether that was IT or not ... hmmm, I'm not sure. It certainly didn't look anything like that picture! lol As the title says I'm onto day 7 of the detox with two more days to go (I did 4 buildup days of diet only)

Ok enough of that subject ... As for my weighin this week ...

I lost ...









Bringing me to my lowest weight this time round and another goal achieved ... I'm officially at the exact same start weight that I was last time round. Although this could be construed as a negative point I choose to make it a positive. For this journey so far everytime I've made any achievement something in the back of my brain tells me "yeah, but you still haven't started yet". Now I am truelly on my way to goal!

I've joined up with a local weighin group called the 'piglets playgroup'... cool name huh? They meet every Wednesday morning at someone's house to weighin in and get measurements taken. So it's a great way to keep up my accountability. The lady who organises it told me today that in the 8wks it's been going NO ONE HAS HAD A GAIN!!! Sheesh that's a lot to live up to! Think I'm gonna have to step it up a notch! But I feel excited in saying that. Time to get down and get dirty!!!

We received Lauren's midyear report in the mail this morning. And it was a glowing report, one that I was very proud to read!! Except for one thing ... it said she had been absent for 11 days this year and three of her subjects had the words 'attendance concern' listed. I went into complete panic mode, calling Bill down to the shop to see. We both looked at eachother and realised that our 'good girl' was starting some bad habits. I mean this could lead onto other things ... smoking, stealing ... who knows what else??

Bill suggested we ring the school and get the exact days she was absent then sit her down when she got home and have a very stern talk with her. As Bill got off the phone with the school, he burst into laughter. What's so funny?? It was a computer glitch! Apparently the computer was randomly throwing in absent days for some students. They had been inundated with phone calls from concerned parents just like us! What a relief!! For a moment there I had thoughts my daughter was turning into a backyard junkie at just 12yrs old!

So now that panic attack is over life can get onto normality again!!

The big event??

I managed to down my tablets last night without too much bother. It's still taking me 2ltrs so I feel pretty uncomfortable but at least I'm not gagging anymore. I spoke to a customer in the shop yesterday who does it every year and he told me after day 3 it's not a big issue any more and I think he may be right... it is getting easier. So funny tho, seeing people's faces when I say I'm taking 80 tablets a day!!!

I must say I feel a bit like a guinea pig under a microscope with this whole thing. I have everyone watching me to see what's going to happen ... like maybe I might explode or something. People from ambulance want to do it, Bill wants to do it, a couple of girlfriends want to do it, and of course a few of you guys too. I said to Bill it's like everyone wants to find out if it works first before they try and he replied "YEAH!! What did you expect??". And I must admit I'm a bit the same too. I mean I know there's going to be some major 'bowel event' ... lol ... I'm actually a bit nervous about it. I'm not sure if it's gonna be a KAWBOWZA!!! there it is??? or a gradual built up. Bill was asking me the other day ... "so ... how do you ... I mean ... are you gonna be able to wipe it? ... is it gonna hurt? ... I mean it's like, the photo you showed me was a half metre long bugger ... how can that come out your arse in one go???" ... and I was like "I don't know!!! how would I know, I haven't done this before!!" lol

In some ways I feel like a full term preggers waiting for 'the big day' ... I actually thought to myself as I hoped on the scales this morning (yes I have been weighing daily this week out of interest) ... "I wonder if it's going to happen today?" ... how crazy is that?? I even felt my tummy gurgling last night and thought "Ooooo ... I just felt some niggles" But so far they've all been braxten hicks ;o)

As I was on the scales this morning I was briefly disappointed that my weight was the same today as yesterday. I had to slap myself about the cheeks ... WAKE UP WOMAN!! Since when did your weight go down every single day for 6 days??? Umm like never?? ... well then, what are you complaining about??? She's right, um I mean that's right. It's amazing how quickly we get used to the scales dropping and ungrateful for it staying the same.

Weighin tomorrow ... given the "big event" hasn't occurred yet (if there even IS a big event, I'm a bit too scared to ask the healthshop lady that question) my weight won't have dropped HUGE amounts. But it still will be a loss so that's all good. And I have noticed already changes in my cravings (or lack thereof) and energy levels (like I've had a coffee but I haven't). So that in itself is reason enough to make it all worth it.

But I'll certainly keep you all posted ...

You think I can down these pills like a machine??

I took my first lot of herbal tablets last night ... all 40 OF THEM!!!! yuck!!!! I managed to get them all down in about 25mins but it took me 2.5ltrs of water to do it!! Man, was I bloated!!! I just hoped and prayed for the next hour that I didn't throw them back up! They didn't have any taste but I just HATE taking tablets with a vengeance! I'll gag on a single disprin!! And I was very disappointed at the lack of excitement from Bill when I finally swallowed tablet number 40. Did he not realise the immense achievement????

Knowing I had to wake up this morning and do it all over again almost sent me into a panic attack. But as my alarm went off and I started to wake up I put my hand down and noticed how flat my tummy felt. It's definately not flat standing up by any means but lying down I could almost feel my hip bones. What an amazing feeling!! I can do these tablets!! It's so worth it!!

Then Bill had a brain wave ... suggesting I break them open and put them into my breakfast smoothie. It could work?? I read the ingredients ... carob powder, licorice, peppermint, barley grass, berry extract to name a few ... Yeah that could work, they didn't seem to potent. Twenty tablets tipped into my smoothie and it changed from a lovely boysenberry purple to brown and went thick! Adding some more smoothie seemed to help. It smelt ok, now for a taste ...

OH MY FRIGGEN GOODNESS!!!!! That was DISCUSTING!!! There is something yuck in here!!! Grabbing the bottles I hurriedly skim read again .... ohhhhh yuck!!! THERE'S CAYENNE PEPPER IN HERE!!! I'd missed that one! And I'd paid so much for these tablets I wasn't going to tip them out! So you guessed it ... for the next 20mins I tried every which way to get my cayenne pepper flavoured with a dash of boysenberry, smoothie down my throat! Holding my nose, closing my eyes, sculling water between each gulp ... no matter what I tried IT WAS STILL FRIGGEN YUCK!!!! Damn you Bill!! lol You'd think after all these years I would have learnt not to listen to his brainwaves!!!

The good thing is I got it down!!! The bad thing .... ahhhggghghhh!! I still have 20 to go!! And when I finally get them down ... I have to do it all over again tonight!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!

Am I still on track??? ...

Time to admit I've been keeping a secret from you for the last 4 days. Yes for 4 days I've been doing the 'Ultimate Cleanse'. Initially I didn't want to mention it incase it didn't work ... but onto day 4 and I can tell you I'm seeing the results already!

It involves an 8 day program that you do once a year to clear your colon and bowels. The first three days is the diet only and on day 4-8 herbal tablets are introduced that do the bowel clearing. It doesn't just clear out the contents, but breaks down years of plaque buildup on the lining of the bowels. Once completed it's supposed to give you more energy, help with immune disorders like psoriasis, boils and migraines, lazy bowel (all of which I have) along with lots of other things, by allowing the vitamins and minerals in foods to be more easily absorbed into the body rather than having to be filtered through the plaque layer first.

And of course the major side effect is weightloss!! I could handle that! lol

The diet consists of just fruit and vegetables (no bananas or potatos) and acidophiles yoghurt ... that's it!!! It has been a real challenge for me but I'm so focused on this and knowing it's only for 8 days helps.

Initially I didn't think I would be able to eat all my points but interestingly enough as I've entered in my food to my points counter each day, all bar one day I've managed to eat all my points. And my food servings (fruit,vege,dairy,oils,water) have all been done too.

I was talking to a fellow ambo lady about it on Friday and she said it's very similar to the diet Middlemore Hospital puts their cardio patients on. That was good to know I'm not doing anything crazy.

• Day one - I thought I was going to die from hunger!! My carb and gluten withdrawal was crazy!! All I could think about was bread, pasta, potatos ... basically anything I wasn't allowed to have!!!
  
• Day two - I was busy doing ambo most of the day so it didn't worry me too much, but I did start to feel quite drained.
  
• Day three - my energy levels went through the roof and all my cravings for carbs stopped (except when Bill decided to cook some garlic bread!! But I was good and resisted
• Day four - I have that 'slim' feeling, amazing considering TTOM started on day two and should be feeling bloated right now! I start on the herbal tablets tonight, that's when the REAL action starts!!!
  

My bowel motions have gone from a normal of once a week (yep bad aye) to twice a day!! And that's before even taking the bowel emptying tablets.

I'm not going to tell you how much weight I've lost so far but I have lost ... I'll keep that good news for weigh day (Wednesday)

For any of you who want to read more about it you can here

I'm so excited about this!!!!

**UPDATE**

For some reason that link doesn't seem to be working, not sure why. I'll keep trying to sort it.

Day two ontrack

Not much to update about other than the fact that I've been 100% ontrack ... for two days! I'm also trying to cut down on caffiene. I managed to make it to 4pm and have a horrible headache (figuring from the withdrawal) so gave in and had one. Still that's better my norm.

Thankyou all for your lovely comments! And Becks I might take you up on that offer. Just need to get a camera sorted out as mine's gone on the blink. Even if I get my daughter to take one on her phone.

Ohhh one thing I noticed in my post yesterday ... when I said about analysing everyone's blogs as to whether they look or act like their blog, I meant only the people in the room. We didn't sit around analysing EVERYONE'S blog.

Ambo tomorrow and I'm hangin out!!! My last shift was 11 days ago!!!!! If I don't update tomorrow you'll know I was busy, busy, busy!

Enough stupid faces!!

Yeah ... I'm thinking the same ... fluid. But either way it doesn't matter because I'm back on track and ultimately what those evil scales say don't really matter.

I made sure I drank loads of water the last few days and yesterday I just couldn't stop peeing!! I'm absolutely sure I peed out more than I put in so that again is telling me ... fluid.

I had a quick jump on the scales again this morning to see if the water helped and sure enough I've dropped down 800g.

Yesterday, I put a comment on Helena's post how inspired I was by meeting her and I want to post it here as well. While we were all dishing away the alcohol, she proudly held her water bottle, and joined in the boogies. The last month or so I have been treading water with motivation. Still sticking to program 80% of the time but without that pizazz. On the weekend I took a good look at Helena and realised the commitment she has and it's not like she's new at this with a beginners bounce. She was doing the weightloss thing when I lost weight the first time and still going great guns!!! Go Helena! you have given me back my drive to do this!! Thankyou chick!!

Some of you may have noticed my profile pic change. While at Chris's we did a little interesting exercise. While going around the room we all voted on each blog as to whether they ...

1. Looked like their blog



2. Acted like their blog
   

It was actually fascinating finding out what we all thought. Mine came back as I acted like my blog but didn't look like it. So the promise was made by me to update my pic. The tricky part is the fact that I absolutely HATE having my photo taken. And with a combination of this and alcohol = stupid faces/fingers/tongues poking out. After the array of photos from everyone I was absolutely disgusted and downhearted that all the photos of me looked ugly. So with a spurt of teenage rebellion I did up a profile pic as ugly as I could make it, here ...

Then after having it up for a few hours I came across Lee-anne's pics... finally ... a nice photo, with a nice smile and no stupid faces. So thankyou to Lee-anne, I have a recent profile pic that doesn't make my stomach turn!!!

Today ... pretty busy day in the shop. Bill's day off so he's gone out fishing. Wednesday's our cigarette order arrives, produce arrives, coke arrives, gilmour's order arrives all in between customers. But I'm not complaining because a busy day = a fast day and lots of bonus points!!!

Hit the wall!

Nup - scales didn't give a tosser how good I was yesterday! lol

I had a fleeting thought of running for the hills, never to be seen again rather than posting this gain. But alas I must face the fact that Chris is right ... I was a piss head on the weekend!! And now I must pay the price by posting my gain on here ... I guess it's called accountability.

wait for it ... (mumbles under her breath like a teenager been caught redhanded) ...

... 3.1kg GAIN!!! OMFG!!! lol!!! I have to laugh at it because I have NEVER gained that much in one weighin ... hahaha!!! But it does give some sort of hint how much of a good time I had and how much I didn't care about the points I was consuming!! Well until now that is.

I was the most perfect weightwatchers girlyswat all day yesterday, not a foot wrong ... that was until Bill pissed me off. I can't even remember what he said and I don't even think it was that bad ... but I think the PMT that kicked in mid afternoon made it seem like the world was ending, so OF COURSE I had to have a Magnum Icecream, after being so good all day!! Pffft yeah good one!

So my plan for today is to be the good girl girlyswat ... AND ... NOT consume any icecreams ... damn pmt!!!

Hmmm ... a little too many points there

As you can all see by Chris's blog we had a great time ... but I must say I'm disgusted at some of the pics ... especially the one with me poking my tongue and doing the fingers ... really don't know why I did that!!

But all that aside it was so good to get to know some of the bloggers in person. We'll definately have to make it an annual thing.

We set off for home at 10am and I finally walked in the door at 7pm last night!! What a long day!!! 9hrs on the road, and that was with minimal short stops.

Back into normal routine today and enough of the slacking around. I've spent the last week sneaking food into my mouth that I shouldn't knowing I was going to be having a blowout on the weekend.

So weighin tomorrow morning, get the gain over and done with and back into it again. Walked the kids to school this morning. Been a very long time since I've done that.

Water is nearly drunk. Cereal, yoghurt and banana for breakie. Salad for lunch, boy I am being a good girl!

3hrs of work to go ... Not in the mood for work today. Sleep sounds like a better idea!

Road Trip

I'm currently sitting at Chris's place, typing this update ... how exciting!!!!

I left home at 7am to drop the kids of to my sisters place just north of Hamilton and then off to Lee-annes in Rotorua. I had planned to arrive around 10am but unfortunately it took me a little longer than planned and luckily Lee-anne didn't give up hope on me and leave and I arrived around 11am.

We had a great trip down and two thirds the way down we got a text from Chubbymum to say that she thought she was two cars behind us. And freakishly enough there she was!! We put our arms out the window to wave hi and they waved back. Was an amazing fluke given she came from a totally different city and yet here we were two cars apart. ... How cool is that!!!

Got to Chris's and honestly,,, I was a little nervous (you didn't hear me say that and don't tell Chris!!) but ... she is an absolute DOLL and we hit it off totally!!!

So I am enjoying the weekend away with the girls and catching up on lost time!!!

To kill, steal and distroy

What are the odds???

The exact day I post about the bizarre phenomenon of a migraine with no pain that I have never heard of and Jo posts about her experience of exactly the same thing! I actually don't think it was coincidence. I think someone upstairs was lookin out for me.

I did a google search on 'drusin' (thankyou CM) which came up with some interesting articles. One noted that in the generic condition the 'blindspots' often go undetected till later on in life because the person has always had them, they don't notice them. I do remember as a child having times where I couldn't see the principal at the front of assembly because my eyes were doing funny things.

The doctor had asked me if I had a headache or tiredness after my episode and I originally told him no. But after thinking about it harder I do remember Bill asking me if I wanted a nightcap and I said no because I didn't feel so well and went to bed instead.

This is a prime example of how our network here is fantastic. Through you guys I gained knowledge and support, making me realise how common something like this is.

Just good to know what it is and that I'm not going to die from it.

Now onto a more important serious topic ...

I went to a methamphetamine seminar in Auckland last night for st johns. While I already knew a fair amount about 'P' this was a mindblowing eyeopener for me.

I actually had tears in my eyes this morning remembering the words being spoken. This evil drug has/is going to rip our country apart!!! We have the highest rate (per capita) IN THE WORLD!!! for methamphetamine ... way above USA!! And I know for a fact that the school my very own daughter is in has dealers selling the stuff there!

The thing that scared me the most was the science behind it. It has been proven that once you have it .. just once ... you are addicted!!! The way our bodies work, there is a hormone nicknamed the happy hormone that is released when good things happen. This can go anywhere from 0-400 depending on what it is that makes us happy.

When someone takes meth this increases this hormone to a level of 1200!!!! It is physically impossible for the body to naturally ever get that high. And in doing so this drug reprogrammes the brain to have a 'normal' level at 1200. That's just after ONE experience of the drug!!! So then when triggers that would normally make us happy actually leave the person feeling depressed and drained, needing the only one thing that can lift the levels back up to it's 'normal' feel good state.

As this increased amount of hormone bounces round in the body during this high, the body naturally goes into overreactive mode trying to compensate and closes up the 'nodules' or portholes for these hormones ... and closes them permanently!! This means that when the person doesn't have P in their system, not only is their 'normal' marker point changed but now a portion of the portholes have closed so the body feels even LESS of this happy hormone than even a normal person who has never taken meth. And because of these holes closing up the person then needs to take even more meth next time to get the same high ... and so it spirals down.

The other side effect (sorry if I'm going on here) is sleep deprivation. Some people have been known to go upto 28 days without sleep. Our bodies use sleep to renourash and rebuild. So when someone is not sleeping for this length their bodies will start to break down in all areas!! There are dramatic effects in very short time frames as these photos show ...



If you take a look at all of these before photos ... every single one of them seem like everyday jo blogs ... not down and outers. And that's the other scary thing ... 77% of people on this drug are in paid employment and alot are blue or white collar workers. Which makes it so much more 'socially acceptable'.

I know I'm probably preaching to the converted here and really as to what I want to come out of this discussion I'm not sure but I guess education is a powerful thing and the more people I can warn about this horrible, horrible drug the better!

I just want to take my kids and hide them away from it all!!