Part 2

One night we were sitting chatting together while he was sober and got talking honestly about his drinking. After a period of talking he admitted he had a problem and needed help.

He rang a counsellor the next day and booked an appointment for a weeks time. Maybe this was to be his time for change? The first appointment we were to both go and have lunch with him and his wife. So I counted down the days like a kid waiting for santa.

I didn't get out to socialise much, so when an invite came from a friend to come to her house warming I nervously agreed to go. On the night of the party after closing the shop at 8pm I was really too buggered to go, telling Bill I'd rather stay home and watch telly. I was sure I was coming down with a headache. But he insisted saying I didn't get out much by myself and I had already told her I was coming. So throwing some painkillers down my throat for the head, off I went.

When I got there her and I were the only females amongst all her partners mates. I felt really out of my comfort zone. But decided as I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself, drinkup girlfriend! An hour or so later my friend suggested we go to the pub down the road for a game of pool. I tried to insist that really I was too tired and probably needed to head home to bed. It was Bill's councellor appointment the next day (I didn't tell her that) so knew I couldn't drink too much that night. My friend was very drunk that I knew if she headed off to the pub alone she might get herself in a bit of trouble. So I agreed to go with her, but that I wasn't going to drink anymore and only for one game of pool. And that if anything happened I was gonna drag her arm outa there! She agreed so off we went.

One game of pool later we were walking home and she suggested cutting through the garden to her home which meant jumping off a 4ft retainer wall. I really didn't even think about it, just followed her, watched her jump land and did the same ..... CRACK!!!!! I knew it! I dropped to the ground and told her to call an ambulance. She insisted on just getting some ice and taking my shoe off. I told her "no! Call an ambulance, I know it's broken I heard the crack!" (not being grumpy of course, just very assertive!) She had to call three times because they kept hanging up on her thinking she was a prank caller (yes she was very drunk!! lol) A short while later the ambulance arrived and her and I went for a little drive to Tauranga Hospital (1hr away) in the ambulance.

We left her house around 10.30pm and by the time I got through A&E, had xrays and got given the news it was after 1.30am. I'd totally forgotten to tell Bill. "Hi Bill, ummm ... I'm in Tauranga Hospital, I broke my ankle ... yep it's definately broken ... yeah I'm in here for a little while, they need to operate on it, apparently I need a pin and screws put in ... ummm .... it's a long story... heheh ... ok I'll see you soon".

So at 1.30am he packed the kids up (lucky he hadn't been drinking that night) and got to the hospital at nearly 3am, said a quick hello, picked up my friend and took her home. While I got ready for the ride of my life ..... hospital life .... yuck!!!

Bill rang me the next morning to say he had rang the counsellor first thing the next morning to tell him he couldn't make it to the appointment that day because his wife had broken her ankle and was in hospital waiting for surgery. He'd only arrived home at 5am and up again at 7am to open the shop. He was not in any fit state to drive back to Tauranga for an appointment. The guy went off his nut at him, telling him that he obviously didn't want help and hung up. He never rang back and Bill never rang him back. As disappointed as I was it wasn't meant to be.

I ended up being in hospital for 14 days. Waiting 12 days for surgery with a broken ankle in an open cast ... ouch!!!

Arriving home 2wks later in cast I wasn't allowed to put any weight on my ankle and was house bound for the next 4wks as we have stairs on both exits of the house. Not being outside for 4wks is not a very nice thing. The fiberglass cast went on and I could finally get out of the house and back working in the shop part time. I was then in a moonboot for another 3wks and figured my foot would nearly be back to normal ..... NOT!!

Physio was started, twice weekly at first for the first few months, then weekly. My tendons and ligaments needed a lot of work. Someone told me I would be out of action for a year when I first did this and I didn't believe them. Surely once my cast came off and a bit of physio I would be fine. Ohhh how wrong I was. 4 months of physio and I had most of my movement back but the inward movement still wasn't there. The inward movement of the ankle just wouldn't work (as if you are putting the souls of your feet together). It was siezed! After a physio session she could get it to work but then an hour or so later it just wouldn't. After another few months of physio she realised that the tendon that runs down beside the plate was infact getting stuck behind the plate which was what was giving me so much pain six months later.

She referred me to my doctor who then referred me back to fracture clinic at Tauranga Hospital who then referred me onto my surgeon (all taking many weeks inbetween) who then told my doctor I had to wait till July 07 just to get an appointment!!! I then (on recommendation from the doctors) went to another surgeon who told me to wait 6wks for an appointment ... and I'm still waiting now ....!!!

So my weight all during this time was going up and up!! Now added to the comfort eating, drinking, no self esteem ... was no exercise!! So many days I just wanted to go for a walk and couldn't. I tried one day ... determined ... and lasted 18minutes, but then couldn't work in the shop for the rest of the day as I was just in too much pain.

Then one day out of the blue a lady walked into the shop. She had a beautiful figure, not skinny but curvy. She had a figure very similar to my slim one and she was wearing a pair of my favourite jeans that I used to love when I was at goal. Something clicked in my head. I wanted to look like that again ... and why not?? I know how ... so just do it!!!

And so I decided in that moment that I would only drink once a week and start ww again. Online this time tho, I couldn't face the thought of going back to my old meeting.

So here I am again ... journeying to slimsville :)

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