News

I'm off to the doctors at 3pm. Had a weird 'turn' on Saturday night that definately wasn't normal. I got a friendly telling off by my ambulance partner for not calling an ambulance. I tried to put it out of my mind, scared something was really wrong with me, but after her talk to me yesterday I've decided to get it checked out. Quite nervous about the whole thing. One of two options will happen ...

either ... I'll look like a total twit, over reacting about the whole thing

or ... it will be something more serious, in which I will be referred on to have an MRI scan to see what's going on.

To be honest, I'm scared shitless about it all but hopefully it's all nothing.

I'll keep you posted.

**UPDATE**

Back from the doctor ... Well it's not a brain tumour or stroke or epilepsy (big whew on that one!!)

He seems to think it's a form of migraine (even tho I didn't have any headache with it) ... bizarre!!!!

Basically what happened was I lost my central vision in my right eye and then my lost the ability to put words together in sentences, and confusion set it. Couldn't tell what time of day it was, couldn't understand conversation around me, couldn't understand written menu infront of me. Freaked me out!!!

He's sending me to a specialist in Tauranga ($400 bux later!) to get a second opinion but that what it seems like ... bizarre migraine!!

Weird!!! At least now I can sleep easy at night.

And I did a stupid thing ... because I thought I was dying today, I ate like there was no tomorrow!! Damn, stupid me!!!

Fun day out

We'd told the kids we would celebrate both their birthdays by taking them up to Rainbow's end on Sunday (yesterday). When yesterday morning arrived there were severe weather warnings saying we'd be getting over 120mm of rain in the next 12 hrs!!!

But Bill was still determined to take them. I begrudgingly agreed telling him we'd regret it! So in the pouring rain with raincoats and spare clothing aboard we set off. As we got nearer to Auckland the clouds started to part and infact blue sky and sun started to show. Bill looked at me with a smirk and requested an apology. Hmmm ... I wasn't going that far ... yet! :)

As we drove by Rainbows End the kids were squealing with excitement but we couldn't see many people there. Infact we couldn't see ANYONE!

Driving in the car park we noticed the main gates were closed!! By why? The sun was shining! Bill got out to look at the sign ... CLOSED!! Due to heavy flooding! Hmmm ... glad I hadn't given that apology yet! But I was sad for the kids all the same.

Next stop we decided was the movies at Sylvia Park. We got there to find cars and cars driving round and round like a swarm of bees not knowing where to land. I said to Bill it was like the ultimate hunting trip but with NOTHING to hunt. We drove round and round for half an hour joining in everyones frustration. Quite cruel really making us pleb dummies look round and round for something that obviously wasn't there. We made it a game for the kids, trying to spot for elusive reversing lights or even more elusively the rare species of keys being pulled out walking towards the car. Bill and I thought it was quite fun but as we finally gave up and drove away the kids didn't think it was so funny.

So next stop ... Manukau movies. Yay a car park and right out the front door! We tried to scam it so we could send the kids to their movie and Bill and I could go to ours but the times didn't work out right. So Bill and I and 5 kids (4 of ours plus 1 friend) and 7 lots of popcorn, drinks and icecreams trundled off to see Harry Potter.

I was a bit worried as some of it got quite scary especially for Jese (5). Two and a half hours later we finally emerged, kids bouncing off the walls while mum and dad tired and dragging our feet!! Boy was it long!!! Probably didn't help that I am so not a science fiction type person. I hate watching anything that looks remotely unbelievable. Infact I'm ashamed to admit that I even closed my eyes for part of it! lol Shhhh!! Chris you didn't hear that! But the kids loved it and that's all that mattered.

Next stop ... 10 pin bowling. Everyone had a blast and Jese (5) the youngest ended up winning!! Beginners luck I say! (and yes I probably am a sore loser, especially to a 5yr old!! lol)

Then it was dinner at the drive through (Wendies of which I had a baked potato and salad). On the drive home we were listening to talk back on the radio and they were talking about weird fears people have. They wanted people to text in some examples so Bill dared me to txt my fear ... so I did!! About 10mins later the dj said "Eewwwww we have a disgusting one here folks! This one makes me cringe just thinking about it!! This lady has a fear of her husband's slimy butt rubbing up against her leg at night!!!" Bill and I cracked up and did a high five!!! The whole car was roaring with laughter!!!

Next stop ... home ... finally!!!

A great day out with the whole family, something we haven't done in a very long time ... but ohhhhh so expensive! Boy the cost adds up! Hate to think how much we spent, but definately worth it!!!

confession time ... again!!

I totally threw all my toys outa the cot!!! I haven't thrown that much of a tantrum in a very long time. I'm talking eating tantrum here as much as I'm ashamed to admit it!! :)

Things had been winding me up all day. Just silly little things from all sorts of people. And for the most part I let it go over my head. I'm a pretty laid back kinda person who doesn't like conflict. So rather than saying right back to each person that bugged me I would bury it, pretending it didn't matter.

Then in the afternoon I had a senior ambulance officer come in the shop. We were chatting about my job the other night and she asked me why I didn't do a certain thing. When I told her I didn't have time before the other team arrived she got ... hmmm ... how to word this ... assertive?? with me ... telling me it wasn't good enough. Now what she said was right, I should have done what she said but there were lots of other factors involved that complicated the matter ... and I didn't appreciate how she said it nor the fact that it was done in my shop.

Anyway ...

I immediately paged Bill to ask for a break (so I could clear my head) but he was busy. That was it!! I grabbed the biggest, fattiest, baddest packet of chips I could find and I went to the back of the shop and I shoved them in my mouth!! Did I really want them? Nup! Did I need them? Nup! Was I hungry? Nup! Why did I do it? Hmmm don't really know... to punish someone?? maybe ... only punishing myself tho ... duhhhh!!!

So there ya have it ... my silly episode. It's not gonna stop me carrying on. I remember back to last time when I had an absolute BLOWOUT!! Here ... but I still got to goal anyhow. So onwards and downwards ... silly tart that I am!!!

Day out with my sis

Thankyou all so much for your compliments! It's so nice to be able to tell someone my weightloss achievements. Not many people in reality know about my weightloss efforts.

I went over to see my sister yesterday for the day. She's the one expecting twins and boy is she huge!! At only 6mths pregnant she is the same size I was when I was full term about to drop. And she's lost heaps of weight around her arms, butt and legs. She told me she just can't stop eating, even getting up at 3am to have a munch, yet obviously the babies are needing that much because none of it is going on her. Here's a pic of her tummy now at only 6mths!!! ...

We went out to a cafe for lunch and thought I was making a good choice with the vegetarian stack thingee but after getting it realised it had a huge amount of cheese in it. While it was absolutely yummy, I wouldn't have a clue in how to point it. I guestimated at 15pts and managed to pull in the day by having a low point dinner.

We stopped off at the warehouse and got me a new much needed bra. The last one wasn't doing it's job very well anymore. I tried on a couple of pairs of jeans, both size 20 (down from a 24 last time I did any clothes shopping) but I didn't buy them as the cut wasn't quite right.

I've organised time off from ambo Friday week so we can head down to Chris's get together. Lee-anne and I are going down together and from the time I met her I can see were gonna have a blast!!!! Can't wait!!

Lauren and Jordan are having their birthdays in the next couple of days. Lauren turns 12 on Thursday and Jordan 7 on Saturday. Remembering back 7 years ago I was in labour with Jordan at Lauren's 5th birthday. We were out at a restaurant with 30ish people and I kept having to run away to the ladies room or give a fake polite smile when people were talking to me that says "yes I'm listening, but no I'm not really, just hurry up and finish talking so I can concentrate on this contraction". I didn't want anyone to know because I didn't want the mother hen's there to make a big fuss. As everyone left to go home I took my sister aside and let her know this baby might be on it's way. He ended up taking a little longer to come and 36hrs later there he was.

Their grandparents are coming over on Saturday and then on Sunday we're taking them up to Rainbow's End in Auckland for the day. A fun family day out.

Stunned mullet

Given a busy day ahead tomorrow I decided to weigh in early this week (today instead of tomorrow). I knew I'd had a loss, I could feel it in my jeans, which by the way are getting rather embarrassingly baggy now. Must get some new ones.

Bill told me he thought I'd lost heaps this week but didn't want to get my hopes up. As long as I lost my 700g gain of last week I'd be happy with that ... but oh my bejeebers!!!! Doing a little dancy jig today!!

2.4kg loss!!! Bringing me to my 15kg loss mark!!! YAYYA!!!! Hoooooray!!!! And another little star to add to my side bar :o)

And now at 107.5kgs I only have 200g to go to reach my next goal ... be below my start weight last time. When I started at 122.6kgs ... 107.4kgs seemed so far away. But looking back on it, yes it's taken a while but it's been fun and 5mths of goal setting and reaching mini goals has got me here.

Now I just have to set my eyes on the next 5mth horizon, imagine where I could be then!!

The drought has broken

I'm talking about the fact that for the last 7mths I've been oncall at the beach I had not had one single job!! The figures tell me that I had been on call over 300hrs and 0hrs on a job.

For those that are a little confused by this ... I do duties at both Waihi Beach and Waihi (which is about 10kms apart). For the times I'm on call in Waihi I stay on station and get plenty of jobs. Around 40% of the time I'm on call I'm on the road, which for most is normally 10%. So for my Waihi shifts it's above average.

But when I'm on call in Waihi Beach responding from home one night a week and one whole weekend a month for seven months I've had nothing! Infact I'm the only one here that hasn't had anything for the last year.

I seem to have become quite blazay when I'm oncall for the beach. I have my pager on next to bed but don't bother organising my uniform, shoes and keys anymore.

Then out of the blue last night (well 4am this morning) my pager went off. My immediate reaction was to get annoyed at myself for leaving my pager on. As I sat up to turn it off I remembered that I was actually on duty. I jumped out of bed and fumbled round for my things. It felt like I was taking forever! As I looked at my watch walking out to be picked up by the ambulance I realised I'd only taken 4 minutes but my shirt buttons were all skewiffed. Lucky I had a few seconds before my ride arrived to correct my attire.

So there you have it ... I have officially done a job at the beach. I was starting to think I was jinxed.

Another day at the station

Let's hope I'm not this stupid on ambo today. This guys gotta make anyone look good!!

I didn't do an update yesterday because nothing really happened to talk about and it's the same today but I'm doing like Tania and making sure I update regularly as it keeps me focused. So unfortunately for you guys it's going to be a boring post of blah! blah! blah! :)

This is my 4th day back 100% ontrack. But it's my first day back at ambo, on track. This poses to be a problem. There are a couple of things I find hard while on station.

• the worst one is that I use the ww online journal to track my food. And the last couple of weeks ww has upgraded to Flashplayer 9 instead of 8. The station computer only has flashplayer 8 and I can't upgrade it until I find someone with admin login to do it. So basically means I can't track by computer while on duty. I can do it manually on paper but I get lazy and don't bother. I guess this one's solved by time, once I get someone to get flashplayer 9 going it will be fine.



• Second issue is my lack of time to eat and drink. Ambulance duty is bizarre in that one day we can be bored silly with nothing to do all day and others I'm run off my feet, often not even getting back to station before the pager goes off again. The amount of adrenalin pumping on these days means I forget to eat and drink. I often leave the station at the end of the day with a massive headache purely from not eating or drinking enough. I try to solve this by carrying with me fruit and a water bottle but when your focus is elsewhere sometimes this doesn't even work. It's not like I'm going to say to a dying patient "hang on a minute on that CPR, I forgot to have my morning tea!!" lol



• Then there's the snack box. For some stupid reason someone decided to get a fully laden, point filled, dripping with saturated fat snack box at the station!!!! I have to stare at it everytime I go to make a coffee! I seem to be the only person on station that is even aware of fat content! I think this one's just a matter of determination.



• Normally I'm not a big coffee drinker. Maybe one coffee every 2 or 3 days, but on station that changes big time. It's all part of the initiation process ... one of the rules "must be big coffee drinker!" ok so maybe not literally but it's not long before the habit consumes you. Coffee in itself isn't a huge thing, but when I'm not drinking enough water either. That combination can mean major fluid retention. And forget the hot water, herbal tea thing ... can't do it!!

I guess I'm being pretty pedantic with these things and really they're not major problems but they do play up with me being on track. Most weeks after not being 100% ontrack at ambo it slips into the next day and the next and before I know it I'm being slack arse again. So I guess in this post I'm trying to make myself aware of what I need to focus on to keep me on track. As they say being aware of a problem is 99% of the way in solving it.

Now just to focus on the 1% of the solution.

Mojo appeared and granted 3 wishes

I'm very excited to say I was sooo good all day yesterday, sticking totally to plan. I don't know why but my mojo suddenly jumped before me again like a magic genie. And how glad I was to finally see him!!

I'd lost my motivation for the last few weeks. The first week I managed to fluke it at weighin but having it finally catch up with me yesterday was the best thing that could have happened.

It's like cheating in a test (not that I ever did that ... Pffft!! lol) When you don't get caught you have no reason to change your ways. So by having this gain meant I had to change my slack arse ways and get back to what I know I hadn't been doing but trying to get away with.

And there is nothing like the feeling of being back in control again!!! The lack of guilt when I wake up in the morning knowing that I did it right yesterday. There's no reason to jump on the scales this morning because I couldn't have done anything else better, therefore what the numbers say is irrelevant!

Jules made a comment yesterday about Bill's tantrum being his way of telling me he needed some special attention. Which is similar to what others said and what I felt myself. Well this morning he sidled up to me to suggest if he could go fishing, knocking off early, meaning I started an hour earlier. Jules words were fresh in my head and agreed he could go. He was like a little school boy "thankyou! thankyou! thankyou!!" "yeah, yeah, just don't be late!!" as I half smiled and kissed him goodbye. Boys are easily pleased huh?

I got the expected letter in the post yesterday informing me that I didn't get the job. Ohh well. Bill said to me later in the day "I'm glad you didn't get that job. You do far more around here than I realised and I don't think I would have coped if you got it" Finally, he is started to see things from my perspective.

So for today, the sun is out and life is good!!

Get into line Woman!!!

I knew it would happen ... 700g gain this week, weighing in at 109.9kgs. Although without hopping on the scales at all this week I thought it would be more. Why? Because I did almost everything wrong this week.

• Didn't track
• Didn't drink water
• Didn't exercise, at all!
• Drank too much alcohol
• Ate two pies in one day to survive a hangover
• Ate at McD's for breakie one morning
• Had pastry savouries for super at ambo training
• And had them again as leftovers on station during ambulance duty
• Had full smorgasboard including roast veges, ham, creamy cauli but declined on dessert
• Chicken and chips for dinner one night

You name it I did it. Wow looking at that list I definately came off light on the scales!! lol But that's ok, it's gone now, damage is done. Can't change history I can only change the present so for the present I'm getting back into it. Starting right now!!

I passed ... whew

Wow you guys are so wise. It's great that someone from the other side of the country/world can take an outsiders look at a situation and be able to give those pearls of wisdom. Thankyou!!

I'm finally back at the shop and things are back to 'normal' for the meantime. Saturday I went up to my course in Thames to learn how to drive an ambulance both normally and in a priority 1 (lights and sirens). The course was over 2 days. Day 1 was all theory with a written exam first thing on Sunday.

While the others in the course went home to study Saturday night I raced back to get ready for our local st johns annual prizegiving awards dinner. Walked in the door at 6.05pm and was picked up at 6.20pm!

We had a great time and unbeknown to me I had to get up 4 times over the night to get something presented to me. I got a certificate showing the hours I've done in Waihi and one for the hours at Waihi Beach, another certificate for my PHEC (pre hospital emergency care) course and then I found out I was 2nd runner up for 'achiever of the year' award. I was blown away by this given I've only been at the station 6mths. The girl that won it was my ambo partner and I was so proud of her. She has gone through so much this last year and come out on top everytime!!!

Got home round 11pm, to bed and up at 6am to drive up to Thames again for my exam and practical test. And I've very pleased to announce I passed with 98% ... yayya!!!

My next course PRD (professional role development) isn't for another month so I can relax for a little bit.

My eating hasn't been the best this week with far too many celebrations!! But that's ok, the wagons right infront of me to hop back on.

I'll try and do a bit of catching up on blogs this arvo. See what I've been missing out on :)

Yesterday's post deleted

Thankyou for your encouragement Chubbymum ... yes I agree with everything you said.

For those of you who are confused, I did an update yesterday morning but at the end of the day I decided to delete it. I was feeling quite down after a major 'telling off' from Bill about not doing enough. When infact I feel I am burning the candle at both ends.

Chubbymum's comment about looking after 'me' first is how I was feeling too but didn't know how to do this when there are so many around me pulling me in different directions.

One thing I am certain on is I'm not giving up ambo. For me this is my time out, away from the four walls I live and work in. By giving out to others during my ambulance day it actually gives something back to me, makes me feel proud of who I am and a sense of achievement.

When I got to the station yesterday I had a really good honest talk to a fellow ambulance officer. Her comment when I'd finished was "So what's the REAL issue? What do you think he REALLY is talking about? Forget all the sideline issues and look to what he is really trying to tell you" This got me thinking (she's great like that) and to be honest I think it's about 'Lyn has a life now and I don't'

To that she replied "Ok, so how can you help him with this, without compromising you"

This is where I have to have a long think and mull it over. I know Bill needs some time out ... a full day off where he can go out and be by himself for the day. But what I need to sort out is how. At the moment my only full day off is at ambo, so maybe it's a matter of shifting our roster around.

Anyway, I'm working on it.

I haven't heard back from the interview yet, but he did say at the end of the week, so that could be today or tomorrow. Either way I'm really not fussed whether I get the job or not. I know that sounds like I don't really want it and in some ways maybe I don't but it will help out moneywise ... wait and see.

I'm sorry to those blogs that I haven't commented on for a while. This week has been absolutely hectic. I've had a few moments to check through some blogs but not much time for anything else.

Today I have ambulance all day, then tomorrow I'm heading back up to Thames for my second ambulance driving course/exams. Come back Saturday night and go out for our annual ambulance dinner. Really looking forward to that. We have babysitters to take the kids for the whole night, and they are picking us all up in the ambulances and dropping us off so we don't have to worry about driving.

It's not very often both Bill and I get to go out together without kids so I'm going to savour every moment. And for this one night I don't care about points, I'm going to enjoy myself.

Sunday morning I head back up to Thames for the last driving session. Then Monday it's back to work as normal. See what I mean about being busy??? Life is crazy and unfortunately when life gets hectic my weightloss suffers a little. But I'll get back into the swing of things when everything settles down.

Just thinking about today for today. I have nearly finished my ambulance assignment due tomorrow (goes towards my driving assessment) so I'll get the final bits of it done in between jobs today.

I'll catch up with you again on my return Monday.

Cya!

Waiting game

Weighed in at 109.2kgs this morning, recording a 400g loss for the week. Pretty happy with that given the stress this week and the fact that TTOM turned up this morning.

It's stormy outside and PMS is wanting me to just go back to bed and curl up, go to sleep. However life must go on and I have things to get done today.

I had my interview yesterday afternoon. I had my outfit sorted and freshly ironed my linen lime green top. Damn linen!! By the time I got to the place it was creased already!! And as I walked in (15mins early) the receptionist told me that the guy was running a bit late. Instead of being a 2.30pm interview he wasn't going to be there till 3pm. So I had to twiddle my thumbs for 45mins!! I went and sat in the car for 30mins, not realising it but creasing my shirt even more! The last 15mins I spent walking around the store. They had some really nice homeware there but very posh!! What was he going to think of me in a creased shirt!! Not a very good first impression I must say!!

The actual interview I felt went quite well. But I don't know the caliber of the people I was competing with. He's told me he will be contacting me by the end of the week either by phone (good news) or my mail (bad news). So now it's just a waiting game. I did all I could do (well except for the shirt) so whatever will be will be.

You did WHAT for me??

I was busy behind the counter this morning in the shop when the phone rang.

"That'll be for you" Bill said
"A lady's been trying to get hold of you all morning"
"What? Who? Someone from ambo?"
"I dunno, just answer it!!" he said

"Hello, Lyn speaking"
"Hi, this is Sally from Guiness Homeware in Katikati. I'm just trying to tee up a time to meet with you. My boss is going to be in the area on Friday are you able to meet with us at let's say 1pm? ..."

This all went straight over my head. I was trying to work out why someone would be wanting to meet with me from a homeware shop. Did Bill buy something behind my back? Until she said the next two words ...

"for an interview"

Then it all hit home ... BILL I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! lol

Yes you guessed it Bill applied for a job for me behind my back, sent my cv away all without my knowledge.

I got off the phone and kicked my husband up the arse!! "You applied for a job for me?? What were you thinking??"
"Well you said you'd like to get out and start working now that Jese is at school and I figured you'd never get around to doing it so I took the first step for you"

Damn it!! He was right again!! But job interviews??? they're so scary ... and ... ummm ...

"Just go to the interview!! You don't need to thank me right away"

LOL So there you have it I'm applying for a job in a homeware store. Scary stuff but ultimately good for me. Interview is Monday @ 2.30pm ... wish me luck!

...

Bill has been catching lots of fish lately on his little 12ft dinghy. And while I'm grateful of him bringing home the bacon there is only so much fish I can handle. We've been eating fish 4 nights a week at the moment, so I decided it was time to do some research on low point yummy fish recipes and I found one last night that was absolutely DEVINE!!

Thai Green Fish Parcels

POINTS® Value: 7
Servings: 4
Preparation Time: 15 min
Cooking Time: 20 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy
Here we've created some great tasting low-fat Thai fish parcels which are baked in the oven in a light green coconut curry sauce.

Ingredients

800 g raw snapper fish, (4 fillets)
2 tbs curry paste, (Thai green) (used red curry paste)
2 whole fresh red chili, (or green), deseeded, thinly sliced (used chili paste)
1/2 cup light coconut milk
1 tbs fish sauce (used oyster sauce)
1 tbs fresh lime juice (used lemon juice)
1 tbs brown sugar
250 g fresh green beans, ends trimmed
200 g zucchini, (2 zucchini), halved lengthwise, sliced diagonally
1/2 cup fresh basil, leaves only (omitted these)
2 cup cooked rice, warmed

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 220C.

Cut 4 x 60cm lengths of foil. Fold the foil in half to make a square. Make a 2cm fold along the open sides to form a pocket. Smear the fish with 2 tsp curry paste and sprinkle with half of the chillies. Divide beans and zucchini among foil pockets and top with fish.

Combine remaining paste, coconut milk, fish sauce, lime juice and sugar in a jug and stir well. Divide coconut milk into each parcel, adding a few basil leaves. Fold the opening securely to make an airtight parcel.

Place parcels on a large baking tray in preheated oven and bake for 15-18 minutes. Set aside for 2 minutes before opening.

Carefully transfer parcels to a shallow bowl. Top with remaining basil leaves and chili and serve with rice.

Notes

We've radically reduced the POINTS value by using light coconut milk instead of the full-fat variety. By baking these in separate foil parcels, you cut down on the washing up too!

When buying a green curry paste, look for one that has already been cooked. These are usually sold in jars instead of plastic sachets, and are less vibrant in colour then the uncooked varieties. The difference in flavour is huge. Cooked curry pastes don't have that raw garlic or spice flavour which you sometimes taste in curries, rather a more rounded flavour.

I score this a 9/10 .... absolute yum!!

...

Some interesting points came out in your comments yesterday regarding complacency vs slow & steady. Ultimately I think each of us are different and are motivated in different way. Some of us need that kick up the butt while for others that would be enough to make us run away and hide.

I think for me ... the fact that I acknowledged to myself that I needed to get my A into G was enough to make me aware of the choices I was making and so far today and yesterday (touch wood) my choices have been good ones ;)

Lost my gain of last week

My gain for last week has gone again with a 700g loss this week. I said to myself at the start of this week that I wanted to have lost the 700g I gained last week plus lose an extra 100-200g. Well that didn't quite happen but I got half way there.

For those of you who are on to it you may have realised I'm weighing in a day early. I've changed my weigh day to Tuesdays now. It's a long story but basically my ambo roster has been altered so I'm now working Tuesday nights and Friday days. I figured if I'm up all night on a Tuesday I don't want to be getting up first thing in the morning on a Wednesday just to weigh and then go back to bed. So the easier option is to change weigh day to Tuesdays.

I've done well all week with my food and tracking except I slipped up on Sunday. I think it boiled down to having a whole bag of microwave popcorn (lite butter) which in itself is only 6.5pts but that managed to push me over for the day by ummmm .... 10pts!!!! woopsie! I managed to save 4pts of it back yesterday but ran out of days till weigh day.

It's ok I had a loss and that's all that matters. I put up my monthly weighin result on the side bar today and it's made me realise how much I'm slacking about!!! Only losing 1.5kgs this month!! That's like just over 350g a week compared to May/June I lost an average of 1.25kgs per week. This cold weather isn't really helping. I need to be getting out there and walking again. It's such a fine line between saying "hey a loss is a loss, be grateful" but using that as an excuse to be slack. But then if I'm doing this for life then maybe slow and steady is the way to go. Hmmm ... interesting topic.

I think I'm tipping over the borderline of being slack and too complacent. Must be time to kick myself up the arse again and get this weight off!!

Spider: you're comment was too funny!! I never thought about how the assessments might get harder each time ... you got me worried now, might need to practice that bridge jump. Anyone got a spare ambulance I can practice with??