I totally threw all my toys outa the cot!!! I haven't thrown that much of a tantrum in a very long time. I'm talking eating tantrum here as much as I'm ashamed to admit it!! :)
Things had been winding me up all day. Just silly little things from all sorts of people. And for the most part I let it go over my head. I'm a pretty laid back kinda person who doesn't like conflict. So rather than saying right back to each person that bugged me I would bury it, pretending it didn't matter.
Then in the afternoon I had a senior ambulance officer come in the shop. We were chatting about my job the other night and she asked me why I didn't do a certain thing. When I told her I didn't have time before the other team arrived she got ... hmmm ... how to word this ... assertive?? with me ... telling me it wasn't good enough. Now what she said was right, I should have done what she said but there were lots of other factors involved that complicated the matter ... and I didn't appreciate how she said it nor the fact that it was done in my shop.
Anyway ...
I immediately paged Bill to ask for a break (so I could clear my head) but he was busy. That was it!! I grabbed the biggest, fattiest, baddest packet of chips I could find and I went to the back of the shop and I shoved them in my mouth!! Did I really want them? Nup! Did I need them? Nup! Was I hungry? Nup! Why did I do it? Hmmm don't really know... to punish someone?? maybe ... only punishing myself tho ... duhhhh!!!
So there ya have it ... my silly episode. It's not gonna stop me carrying on. I remember back to last time when I had an absolute BLOWOUT!! Here ... but I still got to goal anyhow. So onwards and downwards ... silly tart that I am!!!
12 comments:
Hiya Lyn
Have been out in the weightloss wilderness for quite a while but am starting to tame the beast and feel some actual motivation.
I have just caught up with your blog since I last read (quite a while I must confess) and I am so wrapped at how well you have done.
I will be back in touch regularly now and keep up the great work.
You're a legend!
Silly tart? Don't speak about yourself that way.
You tried to utilise other ways to cope (getting away from things) but when all else failed your old habit of numbing your anger/ feelings came out.
We are complex creatures and an old habit poked it's head out. I know you know that it's over and done with.
What's the lesson learnt? Deal with your emotion as it happens. That cow got away scott free, feeling smug and you are left eating the damage.
How do I know? This is EXACTLY what I've had to deal with for the past 13 weeks. Took out my own frustrations on myself because I was so worried I'd hurt others feelings if I stood up for myself.
We are NOT bad if we are assertive back you know.
If all else fails, stick this in your back pocket.. "Oh, so you've never ever made a mistake? How pleasant your life must be"
;)
Totally agree with Beckie, no one is bloody perfect! Nasty tart coming and kinda telling you off... in in your shop in public even worse. Hope the chips were bloody nice after all that.
mmm, I must say I don't know how I would have handled that situation. (but underneath the surface I would have been seething). I think your senior was totally in the wrong saying anything to you at YOUR place of business. That was really unprofessional of her and would have got up my nose big time.
It is often so hard to stand up for one's self when we are effectively being treated like a child, ( by an adult).
In my opinion I do not feel like she had ANY right to bring an ambo issue into another place of employment and personally I would probably be following up how she handled the situation as it wasn't at all appropriate.
In regards to the binge, I agree with Beckie. You snuffed out your emotions with food, once we identify what it is we do that sabotages our efforts we can start to work on finding other ways to cope during times of stress.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Its merely a judder bar along the way, not a fatel wreak.
Keep smiling
I was like that on Monday and I wanted to have Burger King because everything in my life was crap on Monday with the kids etc.. but I got sushi instead but I SOOOO UNDERSTAND THE FEELING.
It is great you noticed what you were doing though aye and they say we learn from our experiences.
Love Chubbymum
I snicker when you folks use the word TART on each other. Makes me smile. I wouldn't worry too much about the chips - I blew it for THREE whole days - not just 1 day. :) Take care of yourself.
Thanks for stopping by my blog by the way. Much appreciated. :)
Silly tart? Nah!!! Human? Definitely!!! I think it happens to us all (especially those of us that are comfort eaters), admitting it and moving on are the parts that really matter and you've already done that - see, even in these situations there are positives to be found :-)
You're in luck. I'm good at assertiveness. Just ask anyone who works with me. I reckon after 8 hrs driving to Palmy and back you'll be breathing assertiveness.
Now as for those chippies I figure we can laugh off the calories and tone our tummy muscles at the same time.
Sounds good to me.
seriously - don't ya hate when you give into emotional eating! I have called myself a lot worse than a sily tart! Onward and downward for sure!
Well...I know weight loss is the ultimate goal, but keeping a "safe" and "sane" work environment has to be worth something too. Grabbing a bag of chips is much better than grabbing her hair and banging it into a desk! =0p
Maybe you could think of a plan for next time you feel overwhelmed at work and nobody is around to give you a break?
A big bag of chips once in a while is not all that bad. As long as you are not blowing out every day!
Are you in chickadee??
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