Friday, February 23, 2007

Made it through the day on plan ...

SmileyCentral.com


Had my first full day on plan yesterday and the very first night Bill tries to sabotage my efforts. We made a pact last weekend that we would drink just one night a week. And he tried every best effort to get me to drink with him last night. Can you imagine how bad I would have felt if on the very first day I'd blown it?? But I was strong and withheld the temptation. And feel damn proud I did today!!! Wahooo!!
Met a friend for coffee this morning and made the mistake of catching that last half hour of sleep when I should have been up and in the shower. Hence I was running so late that I ran out of time for breakfast and had to take the car instead of walking... damn!!! My friend is a wonderful cook and makes the most devine muffins. So my thinking was to have that instead of brekkie. Bad I know. Luckily she didn't make any this time and we had a wonderful coffee and chat instead.
Some of my enthusiasm rubbed off on her and she's considering going back to ww too. That will be great for both of us if she does, so I can have someone to compare notes with. We also talked about doing aqua aerobics in her pool together. But have to wait and see if we can sort out our timetables together.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Kabowskers!! ...

Shocking moment came today when I hoped on the scales .... KABOWSKERS!!!!! 122.6kgs!!!!! OHH MY FRIGGIN GOODNESS!! I never in my wildest dreams thought that my weight had climbed that high. I'm not going to talk too much more about it today. The figure itself says enough. From 71kgs to 122.6kgs in fifteen months ... sheeesh!
I am feeling pumped tho even with the scary figures known. I joined weightwatchers online today. I love gimicky gadgets and gave me a bit of fun having a play.
Need to get photo taken ... my next scary step!!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Fifteen Months ...

For fifteen months I wanted nothing to do with counting points, exercising or weighing myself. For fifteen months I gained and gained and gained kilo after kilo, telling myself that I didn't care. I'd had it with weightwatchers. I was weightwatchered out after living and breathing it for 3yrs.
For fifteen months I recoiled into myself, losing almost all my friends and nearly my marriage. I lost the energy to survive the day and the motivation to do anything about it. I just didn't care... didn't care how much I ate, didn't care what I ate, what I looked like, didn't care that my clothes no longer fitted. I didn't care about me or my life. Looking from the outside in ... other than being fat ... I seemed happy enough. But I hated the way I felt. And I hated the fact that I didn't want to lose weight. Sounds crazy? I know that I had to decide in my own head that I "wanted" to lose it again. Waiting for the switch to click in my head. But for fifteen months it never happened.
Looking back I think there was just too much going on in my life to even contemplate the thought of trying to lose weight. Marriage breakup, husband's drinking problem which caused me to also drink alot, nearly going into bankrupcy, breaking my ankle and the resulting surgery.
Finally now I'm ready to tackle the fat again ... I think! lol I know it's a hard, long battle ahead of me. One that will take 2 possibly 3 yrs.
And what made it click you ask? I really don't know ... a lady came into the shop today that had the exact same figure I used to have, wearing jeans similar to my favourite ones. And she looked fantastic!!! And for the first time in fifteen months I said to myself, I want to look like that again!