Fifteen Months ...

For fifteen months I wanted nothing to do with counting points, exercising or weighing myself. For fifteen months I gained and gained and gained kilo after kilo, telling myself that I didn't care. I'd had it with weightwatchers. I was weightwatchered out after living and breathing it for 3yrs.
For fifteen months I recoiled into myself, losing almost all my friends and nearly my marriage. I lost the energy to survive the day and the motivation to do anything about it. I just didn't care... didn't care how much I ate, didn't care what I ate, what I looked like, didn't care that my clothes no longer fitted. I didn't care about me or my life. Looking from the outside in ... other than being fat ... I seemed happy enough. But I hated the way I felt. And I hated the fact that I didn't want to lose weight. Sounds crazy? I know that I had to decide in my own head that I "wanted" to lose it again. Waiting for the switch to click in my head. But for fifteen months it never happened.
Looking back I think there was just too much going on in my life to even contemplate the thought of trying to lose weight. Marriage breakup, husband's drinking problem which caused me to also drink alot, nearly going into bankrupcy, breaking my ankle and the resulting surgery.
Finally now I'm ready to tackle the fat again ... I think! lol I know it's a hard, long battle ahead of me. One that will take 2 possibly 3 yrs.
And what made it click you ask? I really don't know ... a lady came into the shop today that had the exact same figure I used to have, wearing jeans similar to my favourite ones. And she looked fantastic!!! And for the first time in fifteen months I said to myself, I want to look like that again!