Thankyou for your encouragement Chubbymum ... yes I agree with everything you said.
For those of you who are confused, I did an update yesterday morning but at the end of the day I decided to delete it. I was feeling quite down after a major 'telling off' from Bill about not doing enough. When infact I feel I am burning the candle at both ends.
Chubbymum's comment about looking after 'me' first is how I was feeling too but didn't know how to do this when there are so many around me pulling me in different directions.
One thing I am certain on is I'm not giving up ambo. For me this is my time out, away from the four walls I live and work in. By giving out to others during my ambulance day it actually gives something back to me, makes me feel proud of who I am and a sense of achievement.
When I got to the station yesterday I had a really good honest talk to a fellow ambulance officer. Her comment when I'd finished was "So what's the REAL issue? What do you think he REALLY is talking about? Forget all the sideline issues and look to what he is really trying to tell you" This got me thinking (she's great like that) and to be honest I think it's about 'Lyn has a life now and I don't'
To that she replied "Ok, so how can you help him with this, without compromising you"
This is where I have to have a long think and mull it over. I know Bill needs some time out ... a full day off where he can go out and be by himself for the day. But what I need to sort out is how. At the moment my only full day off is at ambo, so maybe it's a matter of shifting our roster around.
Anyway, I'm working on it.
I haven't heard back from the interview yet, but he did say at the end of the week, so that could be today or tomorrow. Either way I'm really not fussed whether I get the job or not. I know that sounds like I don't really want it and in some ways maybe I don't but it will help out moneywise ... wait and see.
I'm sorry to those blogs that I haven't commented on for a while. This week has been absolutely hectic. I've had a few moments to check through some blogs but not much time for anything else.
Today I have ambulance all day, then tomorrow I'm heading back up to Thames for my second ambulance driving course/exams. Come back Saturday night and go out for our annual ambulance dinner. Really looking forward to that. We have babysitters to take the kids for the whole night, and they are picking us all up in the ambulances and dropping us off so we don't have to worry about driving.
It's not very often both Bill and I get to go out together without kids so I'm going to savour every moment. And for this one night I don't care about points, I'm going to enjoy myself.
Sunday morning I head back up to Thames for the last driving session. Then Monday it's back to work as normal. See what I mean about being busy??? Life is crazy and unfortunately when life gets hectic my weightloss suffers a little. But I'll get back into the swing of things when everything settles down.
Just thinking about today for today. I have nearly finished my ambulance assignment due tomorrow (goes towards my driving assessment) so I'll get the final bits of it done in between jobs today.
I'll catch up with you again on my return Monday.
Cya!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Yesterday's post deleted
Posted by Lyn at 6:41 AM
Labels: ambulance, hard times, shop
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8 comments:
You do sound like you are one busy woman. I can also understand how you can use this to vent your feelings - then delete it! Have done the same.
Sort of wonder if it is the changes in you that Bill doesn't understand. From experience my husband had this chubby woman for years who did no exercise, loved reading, ate whatever then wham! I'm trying to fit in exercise every day, my lifwe really has totally changed - I know sometimes he probably can't quite understand why I've changed so much. Our life has become more hectic - because I am putting myself first, fitting in exercise is a priority to me after been so many years idle. He's all for it - but just sometimes has made comments I've taken the wrong way - I've thought about and just come to the conclusion - I've changed, and he's finds it hard to understand. I know you and Bill will work it out - but you do need to sit down and talk about what you both want. Good luck!
I blog alot and delete it - I am sure that we have all done it. For some reason it just feels better to write it down. You take care of yourself.
I feel for you, and for Bill too. As you say , he probably feels like he does not have a 'life' outside of work and home.... try to remember 'couple' time in important too... to keep the cement firm in your marriage. I have missed hearing from you... but totally understand how busy you are. Hope your weekend goes smoothly.
I blog and leave it as a draft because sometimes I don't want others to know what I am feeling and it makes me feel better to get it out.
Sometimes I wish I could let everyone see but then just like you it feels like I am being negative but you know what... tough on anyone else.
If you are being negative it is because you need to get it out and isn't that what our blog is for?
It is for us to get out our feelings and for others to understand what we are going through.
I mean we are doing this because weight loss is an emotional thing and we need to get our emotions intact so that we can loose the weight... and to have others understand and for us to know that others are going through exactly the same thing.
I hope this makes sense as I am rambling again... for the last 3 weeks I have not been posting because I didn't want people to stop reading because it was negative... this has made me think but too bad on everyone now ya know... if they don't want to read then they don't need to....
What I am trying to say hun is that I am there for you in positive and negative times and always will be... Vent away ok!!
Just remember you cannot help anyone else until you do what is right for you first... look after you and then you can look after others.
Good luck with your ambulance exams hun... you know you can do it!!
Love ya
Chubbymum
*Hugs* Good Luck with everything you have going on right now, sounds like your plate is definitely full.
Also, enjoy your night out with Bill minus the kids!
Please blog the positive AND the negative. I actually think the opposite! I get all down and depressed when I read all these blogs with their wonderful supportive husbands who are their soulmates, and they never seem to have any trouble with (that they share anyway), and the weight is melting off them seemingly effortlessly. It makes me think... OMG... Am I the only one that can't do this? At present, about 15 of the blogs I read have come to a grinding halt for this very reason, the weightloss is not looking too flash, and they feel that if they admit that in their blog, that they will somehow be judged, chastised, or even worse ridiculed. I have felt these fears myself when posting my weight, and my significant binging episodes. Have Sarah say to me one day... "So what Liv, you ate 6 pieces of cake?? Whoopppeee do!". Made me feel so much better.
Wow - i'm almost tired just reading about your last couple of days! :-) I agree with what CM said, it's been a big learning curve for me since becoming a mum too! You do have to find some time and some things that are JUST about you and focus on that for at least part of the week! It's tough when you're pulled in so many different directions, I really hope things settle down for you soon! And I hope you're having a fabulous night out tonight too.
Hey, Lyn - could you email me on arronskiwigirl@hotmail.com?
I've just gone "private" on my blog, and don't have your email address with which to invite you!
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