Potential accidents

As in words of Dr Phil "Weightloss has nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with environment control"

Such wise words!! Let me explain and go back a bit here ...

We all have moments of wonderful motivation and willpower but it never lasts ... everyone always loses their willpower at some stage. It's natural for it to come in waves - extreme highs and lows.

So if we rely on this alone we are setting ourselves up for failure. We have to control our environment, set up habits, routines and plan, plan, plan. It's like a defensive driving course ... your eyes have to be peeled the whole time for potential accidents ... potential weightloss sabotaging accidents.

And why am I rambling about all this you ask?? I had the perfect situation to explain about NOT CONTROLLING MY ENVIRONMENT!

I consider myself a pretty organised weightlosser who controls her environment and is mostly very motivated to lose weight... but ... on Sunday night (the night before weigh-in) I made the stupidest mistake and one that I have to pay for ...

I set myself up in an environment that was destined for disaster. It had nothing to do with willpower and everything to do with lack of planning and controlling my environment.

Let me explain ... Australian Idol was on (starting at 9.30pm) and I had to see the final. Our TV still doesn't work at home so decided to go to the shop to watch it. Which would have been fine if i had planned and thought about what I would be facing.

But I didn't and here's where I went wrong ...

1. I was tired after working a full day till 8pm
2. I had come home first to have dinner (one good thing) but had decided to have a few drinks before I went (bad!!) So my guards were down before I even got there ... you know that "ahhh well who cares?" attitude we get after a couple of drinks
3. I took some drinks with me
4. I was alone (sometimes having someone else there stops us going offtrack)
5. I got the munchies in a MUNCHIE ADDICTS HEAVEN!!! An icecream, lollie, chocolate, pie wonderland!!!
6. I had PMS (and you know how the sugar cravings can come on real strong)
7. It was a long winded program that went on for hours and hours and I got bored


So as you can see no amount of willpower would have got me through this one ... I was stupid not to see it coming ... and I'm ashamed to admit it ... BUT ...

I ate, and ate and ate and ate until I couldn't fit anymore in ... I ate lollies, chocolates, icecream, chicken pies, chips, alcohol and more!!. I remember having the pie and thinking "yuck this pie is half cold" but I still ate it. Like I was determined to eat it no matter what.

I have never ever done this before ... honestly!! Sure I've eaten too much at a dinner out, or realised too late that I shouldn't have had that extra drink ... but I have never eaten just for the sake of eating and felt full and kept eating and eaten like there was no tomorrow and everything sweet and fatty was going to be banished. I consider myself an occasional picker of the wrong foods but never a blubber binger like I was that night.

I came home and bawled my eyes out. I just could not believe what I had done to myself. I felt sick both physically and mentally. (don't worry I didn't purge lol) I started beating myself up, telling myself I was useless ... that I couldn't resist food, that it was the start of the road back to the fatlands.

I confided in Bill the next morning what I had done. He wanted to know what I had eaten so I told him every morsal of food that went in my mouth that night and even he was shocked. He said "that's so not like you, what happened?" And that's when the lightbulb went on. He was right, it wasn't something I have ever done before and there is no reason why it has to ever happen again. I remembered the words Dr Phil had said on tv the day before. This was purely a lack of planning and not controlling my environment. No one is superhuman to resist food being put infront of them all the time especially when their guards are down (from being tired and moderately tiddly lol)

I still could go but I shouldn't have drunk, and I should have taken something healthy (but still nice) with me to snack on ... and I shouldn't have gone alone!!

I felt better after my cry and chat to Bill about it. I realised then and there that I have to forgive myself and go and face the consequences (at weighin that night)

And it was bad, real bad!! But I'm glad I went, now I can put it behind me and carry on. It was also a case of not going the week before meaning my bad habits slipping back and carrying on over another week instead of facing the music the first week and putting it behind me then. I had 2 good days of eating before weighin but the last night ... well that cancelling EVERYTHING out lol.

The result??

Weighin Result 22 November, 2004 ... 2.5 KILO GAIN!!!

Even tho this weeks weighin was a complete shock it has motivated me to get with the program and just do it ... and look around at my environment to see potential accidents and plan, plan, plan ... that's what it's all about!! This chicks not out for the count yet!!!

All Monday and Tuesday I have stuck within points and walked 7kms Monday and 9.8kms yesterday. I've started walking to and from work (just over 3kms both ways).

Yesterday we had a few hours off in the middle of the day so went up to Whangamata (surf beach 45mins north of us). We spent half an hour walking up and back on the beach. Oh and yay I found my bonus buddy again ... I love that thing!!!

Oh and guess what happened last night??? Our shop and the liquor shop next door got hit by lightning!!! It was so loud and the lights all went off then came back on. And the liquor guys tv blew up!! I really feel like I've been given a second chance lol ... wowsers!!! How close is that??? At the time I kept thinking "don't touch any metal, don't touch any metal!!" lol ... the two ladies walking out of the shop screamed and nearly dropped their icecreams. It was the freakiest thing I've been through for a long time!! Lucky for us no damage was done and no one hurt ... just made my heart jump a mile! lol

Catcha!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 75.9kg
WWGW 71kg
PGW 65kg