Diggin the whole deeper!

You guys are so cool! It's such a thrill to get home after a tiring day and be able to log on to see a whole lot of great advice. I never thought about the KFC being so high in salt but now that you mention it, yes it does taste that way.

The ambo issue is turning out to be an interesting one. It turns out that every officer I have spoken to has done the same thing and didn't realise it was a mistake ... so yes you were right Nona in suggesting that this may result in some retraining of us all. And it's turning out that so far (touch wood) it's becoming an issue that's far bigger than myself and we are not so much being taken to task for it but a lesson for our training system.

Lynise that's so bizare that Evianah has had similar issues. Fingers crossed for her that it doesn't come to that for her.

Ultimately yes today turned out much better. I got loads achieved and my food was spot on. I'm not sure what the weight is doing because I want to stay off the scales for a few more days yet till I notice that 'slim' feeling.

...

I had a 20ish lady come into the shop yesterday and I kept looking at her all the way down the aisle because I knew her from somewhere.

As she got the counter I asked her "Did you go to Hillcrest High?"
"No"
"Did you grow up in Hamilton?"
"No!"
"Oh ok. I know you from somewhere, do you recognise me?"
"NO" ...
As I continued to quizz her she cut me short and put me out of my misery ... "I used to be an actor on Shortland Street about 4yrs ago"
"Ohh my goodness wow!!!" Embarrased I turned bright red and muttered something about there being a number of celebrities coming into our shop. (why did I have to say THAT?? talk about making the hole deeper!!!)
"Do you get people recognising you often?"
"Yes I do actually" To which she cut the conversation short by wishing me a good day and walked out of the shop.

After she walked out Bill and I looked at eachother and burst into laughter!! I couldn't believe I did that!! What a dick I am!!!! LMAO!!! She was very nice about it ... poor girl!!

Yep today this face is bothered!!!

For some stupid reason my weighin this morning gave me a horrible figure of 106.4kg!!! A 2.2kg gain for only 2 days bad eating in which yes I had KFC, a couple of extra drinks and minimal other bad eating.

Some of it may be fluid given that I'm drinking lots and not peeing much with the hot weather... who knows?? I certainly don't. I certainly didn't deserve that sort of result.

Then I found out this afternoon that a job I did on ambo is resulting in an official audit being done on me and my partner. I made a mistake that I didn't even realise I wasn't allowed to do and have found out many others have done, who also didn't know. The only thing I can say is now I know and any mistake I made was out of ignorance, not out of spite or misjudgement. Which is what I told my boss when she called me into her office to discuss it. I've said now I know and won't make that mistake again and at the end of the day at least the patient didn't suffer because of it.

Then I took Malachi to the dentist and got told that the accident he had with his teeth a few months back that had caps on have resulted in one of his front teeth dying and he needs a full root canal done. His tooth is already starting to turn black. It's going to take up to six months to do over 4-6 treatments because he is so young and his tooth is still growing. He won't be able to get a crown until he is 18-21yrs of age. I really feel for him having to grow up with a darkened front tooth. The dentist said he will bleach the tooth to try and whiten it but can't guarantee he can whiten it enough.

I also went to the doctor this afternoon to get a splinter looked at in my foot that has been there for the last 3mths and has become quite painful especially in my ambo boots. She scraped the heel with a scalpel to see if she could get it out and found out on closer look with her bionic glasses thingees that it's not a splinter but infact an ingrown wart!! In which there's not a lot she can do. She's given me the name of some acid stuff to put on it and I need to scrape it again every couple of days until hopefully it's all come to the surface and then (touch wood) will disapear... $60.00 bux later!!!

Grrrr!! Not been a good day!!! Bugger!!!

Does this face look bothered though?

Had a bit of a blow out the last few days. Not sure what set it off but one of those 'I've started now and can't stop' moments.

That's ok, I'm back ontrack again now.

Had a great catchup with Mandy while she was over here on the weekend. Mandy and her family came over for coffee on Saturday and then last night I went over to their campground for dinner and a few drinks. Went over my points ... but do I look bovvered?? Huh? do I? do I? Does this face look bovverrd though?? ... lol ... um nup!!!

whoop woo whoop whoop woo!!!

My good eating has finally shown up on the scales with a 2.0kg loss recorded on this mornings weighin! Yay! Under 2kgs to go to get to my 20kg loss mark and my next charm reward ... wahoo bring on next week!!!

Short and sweet update today ... just wanted give you my results.

Has the world gone mad?

It's been awhile with out an update from me so even tho I haven't got much to say wanted to let you all know I'm still ontrack and hoping for a good loss at weighin tomorrow morning, now that the fluid from TOTM has disappeared.

I went and did an ambulance shift with my sister who's a Paramedic at her station in Ngaruawahia. We had a fantastic day together, including another cardiac arrest that we brought back, this time in the back of the ambulance on SH1 between Huntly and Ngaruawahia.

As I was about leave to come home I heard on the news that while I was away my town went crazy!!! with police chases and gunmen crazed P addicts being shot by police. Kinda killed my story on the cardiac resus! lol. I saw my local ambulance on the news with fellow officers there.

And on getting back I found out that another ambulance officer from our station got hit by a car at an accident. A truck had crashed infront of her so she stopped to help him get out and see if he was injured. As she was standing on the side of the road a car came along and hit the same slippery patch on the road as the truck had and went into a side skid off the road and into the ambo officer. She was rushed off to hospital herself with serious arm injuries. Ironically the truck driver was uninjured.

That was happening at the same time as the police chase/shootout in town! For those of you wanting to find out a little more about that you can here.

Hopefully I'll be back with some good weighin news tomorow.

Happy Birthday Malachi!

It was Malachi's birthday today ... yep all our yearly events happen in about 6wks of the year! We had a mum and son day out together, just the two of us.

We took a drive down to Bayfair shopping mall in Mount Maunganui and checked out the gaming store where he got to choose his playstation games for his birthday present. Some 'buzz' games which we're gonna play together as a family tonight. We then shopped for some new clothes and shoes for him.

Met his grandma and grandad for lunch and then I checked out a jewellery shop for my pandora bracelet... yep I got it!! And three little charms, one for every 5kgs I lost so far!

Tonight we having Malachi's chosen dinner and then chocolate birthday cake (of course just a sliver for me)

Thankyou for your wonderful comments. I need to have my little tantrum every now and then. Very proud of myself for staying on track regardless of my mindset of the day.

Very nice day!!! And my boy is ten years old, wow time goes by fast!

So unfair!!!

My initial step on the scales gave me ... wait for it ... a 200g GAIN!!! WTF???? How could that happen?? I've been so good this week. I had brief thoughts of jumping on them to teach it a lesson but chose to take my anger out on the padded seat of the weights bench next to the scales! My hand was grateful for it.

Ten minutes later and a visit to the ladies room and stepped on the scales again. 200g lighter giving me a 'stay the same' result ... still mad!! And for the next hour had a mental tantrum vowing to eat my way through the day. After all if I'm going to gain or stay the same I may as well enjoy it along the way!! How dare those scales be mean to me this week, I so didn't deserve that!!

An hour or so later I served a lady in the shop who used to come to my weight watchers meeting who has put on masses amounts of weight. Nothing against her because who am I to judge anyone for weight gain? I don't know what she's been through the last few years for that to happen. But what it did do was make me realise if I let this weeks result get to me that could be me!! I have no choice!! I HAVE to keep going regardless!!

So another day on track, even with my tantrum outburst!! Next week this fluid better be gone and teach those scales a lesson!!

Dinner for two ...

Nona ... you asked how the hare is doing?? In his words he is 'shattered, knackered and not really focussed on weightloss at the moment'. We both at the stage now of dreading getting up to do it all over again each day. We work hard and feel proud of our achievements at the end of the day, but getting to be a bit like groundhog day. But summer is short and we have to make hay while the sun shines.

There's been a few special moments interjected to keep our spirits up. Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary. We were ushered outside to sit on the deck by our two oldest (12yrs and 9yrs) at 6pm and told not to come inside till allowed.

We were signalled to come back inside to a candlelit dinner in the lounge with spaghetti bolognaise and a glass of wine served. The first evening meal they have ever made for us and was all organised by them. They even went to the butchers to get the meat! It was so nice to have our kids old enough to do special things like that for us.

As we sat down to eat they took the two younger ones into the bedroom to eat their dinner (that they'd cooked) and give us some adult time with no kids. They then put themselves to bed at 8pm and we sat and chatted, sipping on our drinks.

Delightful evening!! Special kids that I have!

I also got my birthday present from Bill yesterday, a couple days late but that's ok. A voucher for 3mths personal trainer sessions. I've never had a personal trainer before and feel quite nervous about it. This guy looks over your whole diet and exercise so hopefully he's ww friendly! lol. This time round I haven't done a lot of exercise but I'm sure that's the next step to take and this will be a good incentive to get me kickstarted. I'm excited and nervous all in one. Great idea of Bill's, one that I'd never have thought of myself! Impressive!

Weighin tomorrow and really don't know how it will go. I've been on points for the week but TOTM arrived a few days ago so the old bloated feeling is hanging around, as usual. I'll see tomorrow I guess!

When's weighin? all very confusing ...

Thankyou for all your birthday wishes!! Very cool!! I love all the friendships I've made on here through blogging!!

I made the decision last Wednesday when I had my 'get back ontrack NOW!!' moment to change my weighin day to Wednesday. I found Saturdays not very motivating for me for weighins because there's not many round in blogland to either celebrate or commiserate with me.

I've been back OP for 3 days and showed up a small loss this morning but I'm not going to record it because my official one will be Wednesday. All confused yet??

Hmm ... not much else to report ... I'm tired!!! But that's ok, we're all doin good!!

It's my day to do what I wanna ...

Back in blogland again. Things were definately hectic with the busiest summer we have had yet (in 4yrs). And our wages bill was half what it was other years so definately a good profit made. Now just have to spin it out over the winter time, that's the tricky part.

My waistline took an expansion as expected with a 1.6kg gain over the two weeks. But hey that's ok, I've dealt with it well and back on track again, so it will be off in no time.

The other little bit of news ... It's my birthday today!! yay me!!

Bill asked me a few days ago what I wanted to do for my special day

Dinner out? No too expensive if we take the kids and too hard to get a babysitter and besides I'm on ambo duty tonight so don't fancy sitting in a candlelit environment in my uniform and the pager going off and having to leave Bill with two half eaten meals.

Dinner at home with a bottle of wine? No, like I said I'm on duty (yep I didn't plan that one too well did I?)

Appointment to a hairdresser? No not really my way of spending a special day, sitting looking at a mirror with ugly flaps of silver foil.

Shopping trip to Tauranga? Nah. Dress shopping doesn't do it for me yet, not till I've lost a few more kgs.

Trip to a day spa?? Heck no! Having some skinny dropdead gorgous lady analyse my rolls?? Don't think so!!

So Bill was at a loss as to what to do ... I said in a small wee voice ... "There is something ..." Yeah? What? ...

A day on ambulance duty ... What??!!!? lol Yep! But a duty where I'm third man, goafer, no decisions to make ... just enjoy the day for what it is without the stress of having to train someone new ... so that's what I'm doing ...

I've put myself on with two competent officers as an observer ... hahaha!! And I put my shift as starting at 8am (not 6am like normal) and finishing at 3pm (not 6pm). Ok so you can officially say I'm addicted, if that's my choice for a birthday treat!! And treat it will be!!

The day has started off lovely already with my two eldest making me banana on fruit bread for breakfast ... they wanted to make me a full course cooked breakie but given my points limit we compromised with fruit bread. Awww ... the sweeties!!

So I'm going to make a fun day of it!! After all it's only once a year I get my own way and do what I want to do!

Please don't get out the sticks ...

A quick post to let you know I'm still alive and kicking. Things are absolutely diabolical in the shop and on ambo! We had over 8,000 people through our shop on New Years Eve and similar numbers each day since!! We are literally running all day non stop till we shut the doors at 8pm, have dinner and flop into bed.

And don't think that because I'm doing lots of walking I'm losing weight ... I just don't have the time to prepare healthy meals so we're having alot of instant stuff and takeaways. It's like this each summer for me, I just go into survival mode. When things settle down again I'll get back to tracking and losing weight again. I'm not losing the plot, just have priorities set at a different focus for the next couple of weeks.

Last summer I beat myself up about not being able to lose weight at this crazy time of year but I'm starting to see the patterns now so have made a pact with myself not to get my knickers in a twist and just accept it, knowing when the people go home I have no excuse but to get straight back on track!

A life was saved ...

I don't like to make a practice of talking about my ambo jobs on here because of privacy issues. But this one is very special to me and I won't be mentioning any names or private details to identify the person.

I woke up this morning and decided to do a full simulated check on our defibrillator (shock machine) and put fresh batteries in it. It hadn't been used all week so theoretically could have got away without doing it ... but that gut feeling told me to do it anyway.

Just before midday the pager went off and I saw it was chest pain. Normally this would make my heart race, knowing the potential danger... but today it didn't. I remained calm and quickly headed out the door towards the ambulance, picked up my partner on the way and got there in no time flat.

Walking in I got a brief history of what lead up to him calling an ambulance and on taking the vitals he seemed fine. But ... his description of chest pain he felt left me with an uneasy feeling. On giving an update to COMMS I listened to my gutt feeling and called for an Advanced Paramedic. As we gave him oxygen his pain level disappeared and as the second ambulance turned up I started to think I was being extreme on calling for backup.

The paramedic arrived and I did a handover to him. Then the patient felt like being sick so I reached for an emesis bag and as I did so I heard the paramedic say "He's arresting" ... For the last year I have been doing test after test, study after study on how to deal with this situation... and here I was dealing with it in person ... here... now!! ... No time to panic or fumble!! I had to get it right!!! The next few moments were a blur ... I reached for the bagmask, someone asked for scissors which I grabbed from my pouch ... someone was doing compressions, another pulling out defib pads and putting them on the patient. I was asked for an OP airway (piece of equipment I'm not going to go into here) which I tried to put in but couldn't because of body functions, so was asked for naseopharangeal airway... grabbing for what I thought was it, hoping like heck it was it... yep I got it right... handed it over ... then I heard "he's coming back! Yep we have a pulse!!!" The next few minutes were relief and panic and ... oh my friggen goodness ... I can't believe all that happened!!

My absolutely feel good moment was when the wife said from the front passenger seat "he's talking!!!" And the look she gave me of complete relief ... that was it, that was the moment that made that last year of hard study worth it all!!! No more gratification was needed, that one look did it for me!!!

I then had to drive the Paramedic's car behind the ambulance to the hospital 40minutes away with flashing lights and a few hairy moments with cars both sides of the road and us going down the middle.

He made it to the hospital ... oh my God I saved someone's life today ... like REALLY saved them ... if I hadn't listened to my gutt feeling of calling for backup one person might not be here tonight!!!

Yep still here!

Just a quick update to let you all know I'm alive and well. We had a great Christmas with Mum and Dad, my younger brother, his fiancee and us. Ate way too much. Thought I was doing fine after lunch with my intake but then a new meal was served up for dinner and skipped on dessert. Was all very point friendly but just ate way too much of it. Went to bed feeling really uncomfortable. Tried to blame it on the grapes I ate in the afternoon making me gassy ... but no I think I just ate too much!

The last few days have been crazy!!! The crowds arrived yesterday and we've been run off our feet. And ambulance shifts have been crazy too. Not sure how much longer I can keep up the pace but taking it one day at a time. Bill must be getting tired too cause he's cranky!!!

But I'm not complaining, at least the money is coming in the till to get us through winter and I'm getting some good hands on experience with my ambo work.

Lee-anne tooted as she drove past the shop the other day. I didn't get who it was till after she'd passed ... so if you're reading this Lee-anne ... HI!!!! And hope to catch up for a coffee while you're still here.

Hope everyone else had a good Christmas! Not weighing in this week ... my one week off weighin for the year. Food hasn't been pointed out but watching what I eat and certainly getting lots of exercise running behind that counter!!

I'll catch you all in the New Year if I don't get a chance to update again before then!!!

Dis Santa's doin da boogie!!

Shhh!! I'm whispering this so Bill doesn't hear ... but ... guess what????


I AM LIGHTER THAN BILL!!! I AM OFFICIALLY IN THE LEAD!!! Whoop whoop!!! What a wonderful christmas present to myself!! Ohhhhhh yeeeaah!!!!! 1.3kgs I lost this week!!

I thought when I had a stay the same last week that hopefully the fluid would be gone this week, giving me a double whammy loss today!!

Unfortunately (and I'll say this real quick) Bill had a little itty bitty gain. And while I feel empathy for him, he's been cheating so nahhh I don't feel sorry for him. heheh!

And it's been a verryy loooooooong time since I've been lighter than him.

This brings my total to 18kgs lost and now have under 40kg to lose... woah still a long way to go but feeling good and confident I can make it.

Let's just hope I don't stuff it up over Christmas!! If I don't get a chance to say it ... hope you all have a fantastic Christmas!! Relax and don't stress!!!

We're nearly there

I have another ambulance exam to do today ... but not a stressful one. Basically we do it online and we can do it over and over until we pass, to pass we need over 80%. We can take as long as we need to do it, so I'll be working on that. I want to get it out of the way before Christmas ... and ... the rush!!!

The countdown is nearly over ... not Christmas ... but till Boxing Day when 30,000 people drive over that hill towards us!! Most of me is looking forward to it. We are running all day, sweating our butts off!! And each night we collapse into bed. This happens for 3 weeks and at the point you almost think you're not going to be able to get up and do it all over again ... they all go home!! 80% of our yearly turnover is done in the next 6wks so it's our time to kick arse.

And for the weeks leading up to it money is so tight, trying to buy in summer stock without the turnover being there yet. $8,000 worth of coke! $18,000 worth of cigarettes! $2,000 worth of 5c lollies!! and the list goes on!! We are banking daily, writing out cheques we hope we do the turnover for that day to cover!! It's nail biting stuff!! But of course once the clock passes midnight on Christmas night ... we're on baby!!! party, party, party!!!

One small note ... weigh in tomorrow ... I think it might be a good one, on what the scales said this morning ... heheh! Let's hope!

Yes I do talk to myself ...

I've spent the last few days sick with aches and fever. Glad to finally be on the mend again. My cat also had a fever with an absess and had to have it lanced by the vet. We're both feeling alot better today.

I don't make a very good patient. I started coming right yesterday afternoon but still just wanted comfort food. I made the decision in my head to have a large bag of potato chips. I chose the one I wanted and took them upstairs ... Bluebird Salt and Vinegar ... just about to open them ... mind games going on in my head. I deserved them with the stress and sickness I've had to endure ... yeah but who are you punishing? yourself? ... but they'll taste so good ... but you'll feel so sick afterwards ... I don't care about that ... I just want to feel good now! ... comon! You know you shouldn't!! Think of how you'll feel on weighin day if you don't have them!! ...

So I put them down ... and marched straight into the kitchen and cooked up some popcorn. Really didn't taste quite the same but I felt so proud of myself. And this morning I had an all time low on the scales. I have a feeling it won't last this low till weighin but still nice all the same.

That's ok ... better than a gain

Weighed in the same this week at 105.9kg. Happy with this given it's my TTOM week this week. Hopefully that means a good loss next week because Bill is gaining ground on me with a 1.2kg loss this week.

Off to a surprise birthday dinner for a friend tonight. Since I haven't seen the menu not sure how good I'll go on points but will try and make good choices... promise!!

Gotta get this house sorted before the babysitter arrives. Better get cracking!!

Tis the season

Isn't it amazing how the stress factor at Christmas time flows onto everyone. The restaurant across the road had a new menu starting and being their produce supplier we needed to get lemongrass ordered. We tried to get it three days in a row on our produce order from the wholesaler and everyday even the wholesaler couldn't get it.

We rang round all the supermarkets in the area, the produce shops, growers, nurseries ... even hardware stores. We just could not locate any!!

On telling the chef from the restaurant the bad news, she threw her arms up in the air and walked out before we could even tell her how hard we tried to get it. But I guess she really didn't care about that. All she was probably thinking of was the stressed out guests throwing their arms up in her face because something on the menu wasn't available.

This consequently put Bill in a stressed out mood and of course he threw his arms up in the air at the poor rep who informed us that there would be no deliveries of his product of the Christmas/New Year period. He probably carried on the tradition to the next person that stressed him out.

It's amazing how we react to someone can totally change their day both good and bad.

This reminded me of a personality quiz we did at ambo training one night a few weeks back. Everyone is basically divided into four personality groups ... melancholy (green), phlegmatic (blue), sanguine (yellow) and choloric (red). I find this subject fascinating!!

I found a quiz on the internet to find out what you are. I came back as a laid back phlegmatic while Bill is a raging red choloric. They say that generally speaking people are attracted to the opposite side of the spectrum. Cholorics and phlegmatics are opposites as are Sanguines and melancholies.

You can take the test here to see what you are.

Put your foot down... how fast can you go??!!

Thanks for all your wonderful compliments!!

Bill reckons his gain this week was due to constipation!! And now (apparently) his bowels have started working again. So he reckons he'll be in for a good loss next week and leave me for dust! Bring it on I say!!

The challenge is going to be tight this next week. I have TTOM arriving soon and I always struggle with food choices the week before. I seem to be forever hungry and craving sugary bad food. I have a plan set in place with lots of easy meals organised that I don't have to think about.

Oooooh!! And I forgot to tell ya about my ambo shift on the weekend. I did my first P1 drive (lights and sirens) with a patient in the back. Normally we only have lights going on the way to a job and not after picking the patient up... unless the patient is REALLY sick. This P1 drive was from Waihi to Waikato Hospital (1.5hrs away) travelling at around 130kms!!! Trying to keep it smooth and steady because we had up to 4 people in the back working on the patient. Very tricky thing to do, drive fast but not swing everyone around the corners. Got a compliment back from the Hamilton Advanced Paramedic that I did really good on my driving. At a couple of bends I threw some people off balance so to hear back that it was a difficult drive coped with very well was great.

It's also the first time I've seen a true 'resus' team set up at the hospital. We were ushered through some double doors and greeted by 8-10 people gloved up and ready to go. Watching them work in such a synchronised way was mind blowing. Each person had their job and even though they were working in such a confined space no one got in anyone's way. Absolutely awesome to watch!

Ambulance work is starting to wind up at the moment with more jobs and jobs more serious. It's amazing the effect Christmas has on society. There is more stress, meaning more sickness, more tension, meaning people are making silly mistakes. Less money, meaning people are not going to the doctors for minor things and waiting till they turn major. And generally more people around this area with some towns growing ten times their winter population.

Wonder what next is round the corner?

Best policy??

Weigh in day again ... this week I'm 105.9kg ... a 900g loss. I am over the moon with this result ... mainly for the fact that I've managed 5 weeks of losses in a row!! I'm really enjoying my relaxedness about it that I have at the moment. I'm able to just quietly track my food and live my busy and sometimes stressful schedule ... and still stick to plan.

Sometimes I have the tendency to get over passionate about weightloss and while there's nothing wrong with that short term, for me I find I burn out. I can't keep up that energy imput focussed weightloss without something else being effected and/or giving up.

For the last few weeks I've been able to just plod away at my tracking, having the blowouts, feeling bad about them but getting right back on track the next day.

It feels good, it feels comfortable. But as we all know comfortable CAN be a dangerous place to be with mediocrity soon taking it's place. And before I know it I've fallen off the bandwagon.

So how do I find the sensible ground in this? I guess by being stern on myself in regards to tracking and accountability, with honesty being the central point. Other things can and will go wrong some time but as long as I'm honest with myself and those around me ... THAT is what will get me to goal!!