But I sooo deserved to drink

I was rather shocked at my weighin result last night ... 1.3kg GAIN!! I was expecting a gain ... but that much??

I drove home, had my pity party, felt sorry for myself, bought KFC for the family for dinner ... and ... got given an extra large fries which I gorged myself with in pure PITY!!! lol

But ... on the way home I also considered (very seriously too) buying a bottle of bourben and drinking it to wollow away my sorrows!! ... but I didn't ... I snapped myself out of it. Told myself to grow up and act like the success I am!

I can commend this action to a diary entry I read yesterday of a very inspiring american lady.

Here's an exert from her diary ... It's long but well worth the read!! ...

"I've shared in the past how I feel that negative self talk has no place in my life. I no longer allow any negative self talk, at all. Well, okay if I do something stupid and I know better, then I will certainly take myself to task for it. I try to treat myself the way I'd treat a child. I would discuss with a child when he makes poor decisions. I might get irritated and frustrated with him at times, but I would NEVER verbally abuse this child intentionally. So if I wouldn't do it for a child, I won't do it to myself.

I've found that, for me, the more "self talk" I do the better. I have two sort of "forms" of self talk.

Encouraging:
I simply tell myself over and over again whatever it is I'm trying to get through my thick, stubborn skull. If it's "I love to run" I think of 100 reasons why I love to run, need to run, get to run, am lucky I CAN run, etc. It's a broken record type of thing. Then when I *do* run, I practically fall all over myself in praise and adoration about what an amazing, wonderful, stupendous, runner I am and how proud I am that I did it, that I'm keeping on doing it, that I'm not quitting, etc.

It feels kind of "strange" at first, but let's face it. We're not celebrities. We can't hire people to walk around behind us and cheer us on all day. Would that we could...would that we could. Haha! But, we are always with us. I mean every time I turn around, there I am. I can't get rid of me. Since I'm here all the time and I'm constantly wanting to have input into my life in the form of self talk, I make it constructive.

No negative self talk. No no no. So I intentionally talk myself "into" things. I've talked myself into TONS of things.

I talked myself into hating myself; thinking that because I was fat I didn't deserve lots of things; into thinking I was a loser; into not taking care of my body, etc. You do it too. I can guarantee it! You have talked yourself into feeling bad about yourself. We ALLL do it!

So why not talk ourselves into feeling proud, strong, being athletic, eating right, etc. ? ? ? ? Doesn't it make sense?

Butt-kicking:
We all whine at times and we all have our lovely moments when we mentally stomp our feet, ball up our fists, and throw a tantrum because we don't want to do something. I will admit to being the most spoiled brat on the face of the earth at times. I want what I want when I want it how I want it and that's that. Any problems with that? Ha! When the spoiled brat in me surfaces and says, "I don't WANT to do this!" or "But I WANT to eat that." I basically say "Shut up and grow up, girl. You are nearly 40 *gasp wheeze* years old and you're acting like a two year old. It is what it is. So do what's right!"

And then I push the "whine" away and just do it.

I did this yesterday. I was running in the Race for the Cure and the first part is a really steep hill. I'm pretty sure it runs at a 90 degree angle to the road. Yup. I'm sure of it. So of course my brat shows up and says "I don't want to run up this hill! This is hard! This sucks!"

Well what was I realistically going to do? Stop and turn around? I'm SURE!

So after listening to her whine for about one minute I said, "Shut up. The hill is here, the finish line is over there. Now do it. Don't think about it. Don't whine about it. Don't complain about it. Just grow up and do it. What's the alternative? Quitting? That's not even a remote possibility."

Then I pretty much "end" the discussion by mentally slamming the book on it. I don't even let those thoughts come back into my head.

I use that for exercise. (Did it today, in fact, when I did a "brick" which was a 12.3 mile bike ride followed by a 3.4 mile run--didn't "feel" like it, so as soon as I recognized I was starting to whine internally I basically told myself to shut up, put the whine out of my head, and keep running. I felt SO proud when I finished and with a really good time!) I use it for food temptations. "Well you're not going to eat it, so shut up." I use it for things I don't want to do, like working on Saturday. "Grow up, you knew you were going to have to work this week to quit complaining and just DO it."

Strangely this seems to work. After all, if I'm going to be right there next to me with my yap running all the time, I might as well make it worthwhile yapping!

From MsTeechur Dot Com ... go check her out ... wow!!!

So on that positive note .... I WILL DO THIS, I WILL SUCCEED, I WILL GET TO GOAL!!!


Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 74.7kg
WWGW 71kg
PGW 65kg