You sexy thang!!!

I have a big surprise waiting for you guys next week. Can't tell you anymore than that, but it's in the planning now.

I've put a comments link below so you can talk to your hearts content and tell me whatever you wish without being told you're "too wordy" (allows up to 1000 characters, that's alot of typing!!) By having this link all the comments about each entry stays with that entry. Then when readers are going through old entries they can see what you wrote about that day. Unlike the tagboard the comments don't drop off the bottom after a certain time, gone forever into cyberspace. They're there for good. I'm excited about finally getting a setup that works.

Bill said something real sweet to me last night. I'm very spoilt to have such a generous verbally complimenting guy!! He said "You know you are the total package!! You have a fantastic personality, you can cook AND you have the hottest body on the beach!!!" Awww, aint he sweet?? I really didn't know how to respond to that one.

Well I got up the courage to do it! I packed up all my clothes that were too big for me and put them in a big box. 90% of my wardrobe is gone! lol I never wore them anyway so it's a good feeling to have the cleanout.

I got remembering this morning while throwing out my old clothes. I couldn't resist trying some of them on. Quite a few of them have the seams splitting on the sides where they were so tight on me that the material couldn't cope holding in my lard. Some had buttons popped off where the pressure was too tight. And today I could pull them on without undoing any zips or buttons and they literally hung off me and fell off in some cases. As I put on each outfit I would remember situations and feelings I used to experience. Feelings of insecurity, paranoia and wanting to hide. I used to choose clothes because they made me look fractionally smaller than the huge size I was. I chose them because they covered up some roll. I chose them because they fitted. I chose them because there was nothing else to choose from.

At the end I realised I hated all those clothes. I've never liked my wardrobe because it just fitted the purpose of covering my body... that's it. And I never liked what I saw. I was always sure the shop mirrors made me look larger than I actually was. I wore those clothes because others told me the colour looked good on me (not that I looked good in them) and looking back I didn't look good in them.

Clothing for me now is a whole different emotion. I want to look good everyday! I only wear tops that hug my waistline, show off my body. I wear clothes because I feel secure in my body, secure in how I look. When I walk down the road I walk with my shoulders back, boobs out, butt out and tummy in. Not because I've thought about that but that's just what's happened slowly over two years of metamorphasis. When I walk past a shop window I gaze approvingly at my figure. Sometimes it must seem vain for onlookers but I have the right to stare. I'm making up for all those years I avoided any reflection of myself. And finally after two years ... I LIKE WHAT I SEE!!

Catcha!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 72.1kg
WWGW 71kg
PGW 65kg