This one was hard to take ...

They say kids effect you the most. That once you've done an ambulance job involving a child you'll never look at ambo work the same. And while I understood the theory in this I never truly realised the full effect ... I'm now starting to.

I've done plenty of pretty full on ambo jobs, some very intense. And none of them have really bothered me afterwards. I've never lost any sleep, even with the cardiac arrest situations.

This has all changed. My past two nights have been filled with vivid wild dreams replaying the job I did on Saturday... over and over and over again. Saturday night I only slept until 3am and could not get back to sleep. Infact I cried a few tears until the sun came up. It has really effected me this one and even as I type I can feel my eyes well up.

I wasn't going to post about it, but felt myself slip into "I don't care about what I eat" mode yesterday and so in therapy for myself I want to blog this. I need to get it out and talk about it.

I'm actually confused as to why it has my mind in a spin. There is quite possibly going to be a very positive outcome for the patient so I should be overjoyed. I did everything right, so I should be proud, for some reason I'm not ... but he was a young, fit 18yr old with a zest for life. He wasn't a drunk driver, he wasn't speeding, he wasn't been a hoon or getting into a fight ...

... he was competing in the National Surf Lifesaving Championships ... he saved lives like us. And seeing the look on the faces of the other Surf Lifesavers helping one of their own will stick with me. And their looks of plead of wanting to know 'what next', wanting someone to fix him, to take back time and make it all better...

... and I couldn't ... I couldn't make him better.

On Thursday my station manager had asked me if I could cover the National Surf Lifesaving Championships at the beach on Saturday but meant I would be single crewed for it. "Sure" I said. I didn't anticipate much more than a few bumps and bruises. And if I did happen to have anything more serious Waihi Ambulance was only minutes away.

I'd been given instructions to be at the event in time for the official races at 12pm, but was ready early so decided to head down at 11am because I knew the practice runs had been going since 8am and I wanted to get my area set up beforehand.

I hadn't even gotten out of the ambulance when someone came up to my window. "There's someone in the first aid room who's hurt themselves". As I walked with my gear to help him I glanced at the sea ... it was huge!!! Ten foot waves!! I hadn't long finished helping this gentleman and getting him sent off on an ambulance when another came in, and with him a friend who asked if I could tape up his wrist. An old injury but it was giving him a bit of grief trying to row his boat. We had a chat about his surf lifesaving, I taped up his wrist and wished him goodluck for his races as he smiled and waved thanks.

The next hour or so was quiet so I ate my lunch and watched a few races. Then my surf lifesaving radio went off "Lyn! Lyn! We have someone injured coming in on an IRB up the northend of the beach!"

"Ok, I'm on my way"

I headed down the beach with my gear. "Hi I'm Lyn. What's been happening?" I started my usual introduction. "I can't move my legs!!! I can't move anything!!!!" He was panicking! I started assessing his injuries and called on my portable radio for Paramedic Backup, Second Ambulance and Westpac Rescue Helicopter and Fire Brigade! I'd never requested a chopper before, didn't really know how I was supposed to do it but hey who cares I'm sure COMMS can understand english. I gave them a quick description of what I had and then continued treating the patient. It was fantastic that I had so many helpers around me. After the initial assessment and set of vitals I deligated a lot of it ... you, can you continue to take a pulse every couple of minutes and yell it out to me. You, continue holding his head/neck. Can I get a full set of collars brought from the first aid room, and take someone else with you, I need a scoop stretcher. Just then an off duty ambo came out of the crowd. "Thank God!" I told her. Can you grab me the scoop straps out of the ambulance. You, I'd like you to just keep talking to him and make sure he's alert, tell me at any stage if he become drowsy. You, can you take his resps for me every few minutes and yell them out to me... and so it went on. Everyone worked like a team and took their job seriously. We got him collared, scooped, wrapped in thermal blanket and transported into the back of a ute (for warmth and privacy, and eventually transport to the chopper) I had someone else cordon off part of the beach, get everyone out of the water there in preparation for the chopper.

An intensive care nurse came out of the crowd to ask if I needed help. I told her "Great! Thanks! This is what we have and this is what I've done, can you see anything I've missed?" She made the suggestion of getting the bagmask out in preparation of respiratory arrest (which we didn't need) and that was it. "Thankyou so much" I told her.

When the Paramedic and Second crew turned up (what seemed like an eternity later) the look on my face must have totally shown them how I felt. It was a look of "THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE!!" I gave my hand over to the Paramedic, he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye and said in a calm quiet voice "It's okay, you've done everything right". That was just what I needed to keep myself going. I helped the Paramedic getting fluids set up and started on the paperwork. I noticed the Paramedic cutting off some tape off his wrist and that's when I clicked ... it's the same guy!! My heart sank!

It was at that moment that I actually looked up and noticed the hundreds and hundreds of people all standing round us and tv cameras (was on TV1 news and apparently will be in Piha Rescue later). I chose to ignore that fact and kept going. Someone came up to me and said "we have another back injury coming in on that IRB and a lady with a fractured ankle in the first aid room". It was at that moment that I nearly lost it. "you have got to be kidding me!!!" Nup! Then I looked up and saw the guy step out of the IRB and start walking up the sand. What a site for a sore ambulance officers eyes!! Yes! He's walking! So I sent off the off duty officer to check them out while we continued with our patient.

We got him loaded onto the chopper along with his mum and off they went and we turned around and walked away. The walk back to the surfclub rooms was really, really weird, like something out of a movie. The Paramedic and I silently walking side by side almost as if in slow motion and the crowd parted ahead of us, with the chopper lifting behind us. There was complete silence from the crowd ... really weird.

I left that day on a complete high but sad not knowing what happened to him and knowing the potential risk he had of never walking again let alone being a lifeguard.

As I am typing this the Bay of Plenty Times has just arrived and it's on the front page! He's ok!! OHHH MY GOD HE'S OK!!! That is the best news!!! He's been released from hospital. He had a neck/upper back injury that caused the spinal cord to swell and be bruised, causing the paralysis and as the swelling went down so did his ability to move.

This is the article here ... for those who want to read it.

As I started typing this post this morning it was a sad one, so sad I had to stop and refinish it the afternoon ... and now look how it's turned hey? lol

Life! you just never know what's round the corner!