Looks like I have to take a leaf out of my own book. 600g loss this morning taking me to my first 5kgs gone, I should be jumping with glee! Not sure why I'm not. Time to sit back and realise how well I've done, even tho it feels I should have done better. A perfect week with points and water. Weight watchers recommends anything between 500g and 1kg loss per week is good ... so it's good.
Some of my melancholy is probably hanging over my head from yesterday. Over the past 18mths I have done ambulance off and on, stopping for periods of time when things got a bit crazy and when I broke my ankle. Previously everytime I have been booked in to do my next level exams I've had to pull out due to circumstances. Now I felt ready to finally do my exams, being held on the 21st and 22nd April. But was told by the ambulance area manager last night that I wasn't booked in because I wasn't ready. I respect his decision but was so disappointed. I don't think it was a reflection on my capabilities, but purely on the fact that I have only been back on duty for the past few months, and have had limited call outs during that time. It was so hard not to take it personally. There will still be a next time but just feeling the need to quietly wallow today.
Think I need to put yesterday behind me and focus on today ... onwards and upwards (or downwards in my case)
I put that horrible, horrible front view photo on my blog yesterday, man do I hate that photo!! I made myself put it up there to motivate me to keep going and get into that bikini again!
6 comments:
I love your ultimate dream - sounds like me, but I would be wearing a bit more than a bikini! Well done on your loss Lyn:) You felt like you should be jumping with glee. From past experience I would always have a bit of anger in me if I restarted WW and was back losing weight I had gained back. Wonder if that's sort of going on in your head. If so don't let it!!
Keep that bikini image going on. Soon those side photos will be swapped for trimmer ones, you are heading in the right direction. I feel that this time around you will make sure you don't go back.
Lyn - wondered where your blog went (was a LONG time lurker and HUGE fan of yours) and finally found it again through a comment you left on Chris H blog.
Can't wait to read what's been going on and I'll post more when I've had a good read.
From a brief skim you've been through hell and back but I'm so GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK.
Yesterday is past and there's nothing you can do about it. Today is new and successful. Congratulation on your loss. It's fantastic. Celebrate each one as they all add up.
And I agree with Anne, it won't be long before you will be replacing your pics with the newer you.
Use those photos as your incentive to work really really hard and get back into your bikini... you know you can do it, I can REMEMBER seeing you in your last bikini on a tropical beach... you looked awesome and WILL AGAIN.... both of us can do it.
You have reached your five kg mark and you are letting the emotions of a bad experience overshadow how good it should feel to have lost 5kg!! That's a whole bag of spuds that you don't have to lug around on that gammy ankle any more. There is always next time for the exams and there is probably a good reason that you should focus on you at the moment and not exams. Look after number one Lyn, it's definitely time to that for yourself.
Well done on the first 5kgs!! You worked hard for it and you deserve it!! Relish it hun. One step at a time.
Love Chubbymum
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