Saturday, May 03, 2008

Back from AWOL land ...

I've been AWOL from bloggerland the last week. Well I haven't been totally not blogging just not publishing my posts and doing them in draft only. I've decided an the end of the week that I'm not actually going to publish them. It's nothing against you guys but I've had a seriously emotional week and dealing with a lot of very tender personal issues which I feel wouldn't be appropriate to put on here.

Now don't going worrying yourselves about me or my family - we're fine. To give you a basic outline - I went to a job last Wednesday that involved a suicide in which my ambo partner and I were first on scene and we were unsuccessful in reviving him and it really hit home because I knew him. St Johns were fanstastic and had a huge amount of support there for me both immediately after and over the next few days. It affected me big time causing me to have nausea and vomiting for a few days and tossing and turning at night. I think I'm working through it ok, however my emotional stress is nothing compared to what his wife and young kids have to deal with. My heart just goes out to her!!!

Next step is the funeral on Monday which might bring a few emotions back up again.

I found my eating was very minimal over the week as my stomach just couldn't face it. But I tried very hard to eat what I could to keep my energy levels up. I weighed in at 100.5kgs this week which is a good loss but a weighin post last Wednesday just seemed so insignificant with what happened that day. So I've chosen to leave it till today to post.

Now I've worked through some of the stuff (blogging privately helped alot with this) I'm back to 'normal' blogging again.

9 comments:

Jules said...

Oh sweets, how bloody hard. My sister in laws brother hung himself in his Mum's garage and she is still not right now four years later after finding him.

At least you have the good support of the agency you work for to work through it.

Much love.

Lynda said...

Oh God that must have been so terrible. I can't even imagine seeing that, let alone being the one responsible for trying to help the person. You are doing an amazing job on the ambulance and I for one appreciate that there are people like you all over the country doing exactly what you are doing.

Kate said...

I can't imagine doing your job, I give you kudos for the job you do everyday, and you do SUCH an awesome heartfelt job at it.

Hang in there girl, we love ya!

Blogger K L said...

Hi Lyn - what an awful day for you, and the week after. I've also done some blog posts that I've never published and found it has helped - I hope it helps for you too, to be able to write about what happened, just for yourself.

I'll be thinking about you on Monday at the funeral - such a hard day.

Like Lynda, I'm so appreciative of what you do, it's a huge gift.

Anne said...

That is just so sad. Really a dreadful experience for you. Can imagine how it would affect you. I really feel for his wife and kids.

jen said...

All I can say darl is biggest HUGS to you...you deserve them, but more so you need a medal for the way you have coped. May you find some closure to your turmoil on Monday at the funeral.

Chris H said...

sorry you had to experience this mate.

The Candid Bandit said...

I've been AWOL myself so I was shocked to read about this. I can't imagine what you've been through.

Kate hit it on the head, thank you for the job you do. My cousin is an ambo too and I think you all do a magnificent selfless job.

TitanThirteen said...

[[HUG]] :o/

Maybe you could start another blog on another server [so it doesn't link to this one] and you can express yourself freely?

More [[HUGS]] for you :o/