Best policy??

Weigh in day again ... this week I'm 105.9kg ... a 900g loss. I am over the moon with this result ... mainly for the fact that I've managed 5 weeks of losses in a row!! I'm really enjoying my relaxedness about it that I have at the moment. I'm able to just quietly track my food and live my busy and sometimes stressful schedule ... and still stick to plan.

Sometimes I have the tendency to get over passionate about weightloss and while there's nothing wrong with that short term, for me I find I burn out. I can't keep up that energy imput focussed weightloss without something else being effected and/or giving up.

For the last few weeks I've been able to just plod away at my tracking, having the blowouts, feeling bad about them but getting right back on track the next day.

It feels good, it feels comfortable. But as we all know comfortable CAN be a dangerous place to be with mediocrity soon taking it's place. And before I know it I've fallen off the bandwagon.

So how do I find the sensible ground in this? I guess by being stern on myself in regards to tracking and accountability, with honesty being the central point. Other things can and will go wrong some time but as long as I'm honest with myself and those around me ... THAT is what will get me to goal!!

It's gone up another level ...

The friendly challenge has now morphed itself into a full on watch your back all out war!!! The gap is getting closer and I'm about to pass the hare. But the hare is sneaky, he's trying all sorts of tricks but the smart tortoise won't fall for his sneaky traps.

He made me a wonderful breakfast in bed this morning. I had to interigate him before taking my first mouthful to check no fat had been injected into it! After finally assessing the scene was safe I thanked him and got stuck into my vegetable omelette. And it was devine! On complaining how full I was and leaving a third of it on my plate a sly smirk came over his face ... "heheh" he chuckled "I gave you a full plate full while I only had a bit ... think of all those calories you've just eaten!" oooooooohh, the slimebag!! "I'll get him back!"

As I was putting stock he bought on the shelves I noticed a jar of manuka honey. What's this for? "A new diet plan I have worked out ... manuka honey and meat" That's it??? You won't be able to eat just that!!! He assured me he'd be able to survive a week with just manuka honey and meat.

But hahaha!! As I got home this afternoon Lauren informed me he had a pie for lunch!!! LOL He didn't even survive one day!!!

I don't know how he's doing it ... but he is actually losing weight... damn it!! lol But slowly bit by bit I'm catching him up.

That pandora bracelet has to be mine!!!!

Awww thankyou

Not a lot has happened over the weekend ..ooooh ... other than having two compliments given to me in two different parts of my world.

The first came from another retail owner in the street. She asked me if I'd lost more weight because it's really showing. Infact the other compliment that came today from another ambulance officer said the same thing.

I said "Yes I have actually, thankyou for noticing". It's always hard to know how to respond to compliments like that, but I think I handled it well.

I remember someone telling me the first time round that people don't start commenting until you've lost around 15% of your start weight. It's very true. 15% for me is 18.4kgs lost ... so a little earlier than usual, but hey I'm not complaining!! Always makes one feel more motivated when others give positive feedback.

We can do this!!

After I did my little skite about how I was able to not succumb to stress eating ... I did!! The very next night it all got a bit much and I ordered chinese chicken and cashew, spring roll and pineapple fritter! The next day I felt like such a failure and told my mate Mandy. She gently but sternly kicked my arse and told me to get back ontrack ... NOW!!

And it worked! I owe my loss this week to Mandy.

I guestimated 30pts for the day and saved a few points each day for the rest of the week. Slowly bit by bit my gain on the scales came down and down. And by yesterday I was showing a very small gain, so hoped like heck it would be at least a 'stay the same' ...

As I said yesterday I felt slimmer but who knew what today would bring ... and this morning ... 106.8kgs ... a 400g loss!!! yayy!!

Kate you were exactly right! Overnight it dropped by 600g ... phew!! Bill had a 600g loss, go Bill!! It's going to be a close race I think!

So this being my 1st of the month weighin shows a 4.1kg loss for the month ... The scales behaved well!!

Side splitting news ...

Thankyou so much Linda for this award! It really made me think back to when I first started blogging in 2003! Linda was one of my blogging buddies back then. There's only a small handful of us still blogging that started back then. So much has happened to all of us yet blogging has been one thing that has remained. Even with breaks inbetween I have always gone back to it, because it's like therapy for me. Yep, you're all my psychologists!! lol

I'm passing this onto two more buddies ...

Mandy - When I first met you in real life there was something that clicked! You're one AMAZING chick!! You're someone I can hang out with and never feel like I have to be anyone else but myself!!! THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!! You've been there for me through thick and thin ... hehe, just realised the pun!

Janene - I came across you're blog quite a few years ago and something said to me "this girl has that 'X factor'. I've seen you struggle and then soar!! I'm so excited to be one of the privileged to witness you emerging into one beautiful lady!!!

There are so many other blogs that I love to read and that get me through when I'm lacking in motivation. It could be hard to finish this post if I listed everyone one of you who inspire me. So give yourselves all a big hug and tell yourself 'Thankyou!!' from me!!

Another bit of exciting news ... I've achieved another one of my little goals on the side bar. When I first wrote that list back at 122.6kgs it felt like each one of those things were in the far distant future! To far to even picture myself achieving them. And yet bit by bit without me even realising I am getting through them. The latest goal to achieve?? ...

Yesterday I had to come and get another small ambo uniform! Yay!!

I'd actually been putting it off and putting it off. My station manager had mentioned to me a little while back that my pants were looking horribly baggy with the crutch hanging down to my thighs. I think I actually got used to them being so baggy because after a while I really didn't notice it. I started to think maybe I was putting on weight because I didn't see the need for new ones anymore.

I sat down to tie up my shoe laces on my new boots (another story I'll tell ya in a minute) and RRRRRIIPPPPP!!! Right up the inside thigh! I was soooo lucky they hadn't ripped half an hour before when I was infront of the ambulance training doing a scenario in splinting!! Phew!!

So my old baggy ambo pants have been chucked! RIP baggy pants!

As I put my new sparkly ones on Bill said to me "wow those pants look great on you!! You look so slim!" And suddenly it made me realise how yucky and baggy my old pants were.

The funny thing with this was (and here's the boot story) ... my boots had given up the ghost 3 or 4 weeks back. They had ripped right down the inside seem and the heel was half hanging off. I'd ordered a flash new pair of converse paramedic boots from Aussie but they still hadn't arrived. I was hoping they'd arrive soon before my old one's truly gave out. And just in time the parcel arrived on Wednesday night. So after training I hurried home to try on my new flash boots!! Finally I would have a full good looking uniform, without scuffy horrible boots. I sat down to do up the laces and yep ... Rrrip!! went my pants!!!

So now FINALLY I have new pants AND new boots ... I feel like a little girl with a new Sunday outfit!!! Whoop wooo whoop whoop woooooo!!!

Check out these new boots!!! here

As for weighin tomorrow ... The scales have been up slightly all week but I feel slim so who knows???

Not going down without a fight!!!

A Farmers Market ... what is it??

"Food market where local growers, farmers and artisan food producers sell their wares directly to consumers" ... sound's good? Sure!! If you're a consumer! But what about if you're a produce supplier only 100m down the road!!

That's what someone had decided they were doing here in Waihi Beach. A big part of our turnover is our well priced produce. As you can tell we were not happy when the organiser asked us to put a poster up in the window advertising the regular event in a couple of weeks. We asked if we were allowed a stall and was given a definate "No!".

My normal instinct no matter how upset I am about a situation is to just let it go. But Bill wasn't having a bar of it. Initially I tried to calm him down and just let be what will be. But soon realised he wasn't going to let it slide. If I couldn't beat him I had to join him.

Bill rang the council to get an investigation into our rights. We were told they would look into the matter. According to the man we spoke to he was under the impression that each stall holder needed to hold a hawkers license.

In the meantime we spoke to some of the other retailers who agreed with us in our concerns. It just seemed so unfair that we as retailers had withstood the hard toil of winter drought and when the people arrived someone decided they'd set up a market and take the harvest. We had to pay so many overheads just to survive ... lease, rates, power, wages... the list goes on. Along with the retailers was the owner of the Four Square supermarket across the road. Up until now we had a purely professional relationship with the Four Square, nothing more. But on realising they were feeling the same about the situation we set up a meeting with them. They contacted the Foodstuffs representative after Bill told him of the Otara New World going bust when the Otara Farmers Market started up.

On top of this ... they were going to ask for funding from the Community Board!! A community board that is funded by our rates!!! This added insult to injury!! They were planning to doing a presentation to the Board at 6.30pm tonight. Bill had planned a big speal to say along with alot of other retailers, who had signed a petition we set up.

At 3pm this afternoon Bill rang the council to find out their progress in the matter. According to the investigator at the council they had every right to have the market given that it's a commercial zone, but that the organisers were in the process of cancelling the event due to opposition.

So it's finally over ... it's not going ahead. I understand their thinking about having a market but I don't think they thought through the full extent that this could have on the town. While it may have brought people in, the majority of the money would be going elsewhere and it had the huge potential of shutting down retailers like ourselves and others in the town which has to be a bad thing. The less shops, the less products offered for sale, the less money going back into the community.

And the good thing with this???? (other than the fact that we don't have a big confrontation on our hands?) I didn't comfort eat!!! I stuck to points infact saving some points in the process.

The sun was shining hot today ...

I made the yummiest dinner last night. Not sure what to call it. I got the idea from the ww website about hammering chicken breasts flat and rolling them with with filling inside. I chose to put cherry tomatoes (halved), crushed garlic, chopped fresh fennel, red onion and a little corn kernals. After rolling them and tying with string I sprayed them with cooking spray. They pointed out at only 3pts per piece ... yummo!!



Wow it was hot today!! Our staff member had to go home around lunch with nausea. I didn't mind because she doesn't take much time off so when she has to go home she must be really sick! That left Bill, myself and Lauren rolling icecreams (over 200!), thickshakes and countless drinks, produce and groceries. We were running all day!! I'm knackered!!

I'm in for a relaxing night of mindless tv, that is until the pager goes off, yep on duty again. Can't help myself! :)

Bill's nana nap

Weighin results ...

Weight last week: 107.7kg
Weight this morning: 107.2kg

So that's a 500g loss. Feeling a bit guilty about it because I was moaning all week about my weight being up on the scales and then last night I blow it and have pizza and drinks with another couple. And now record a loss.

Bill had his weighin too and ...ehem ... recorded a 500g gain... hey probably where my 500g went too! lol. So that leaves me with just 1.2kg to catch him up ... hehehe. Although I've been a bit kinda on him this morning because we all know how bummed we feel when we've gained. His normal cooked breakfast was replaced by a banana and natural unsweetened yoghurt! :)

Sorry I haven't posted todays post sooner ... I actually started this update 10am this morning, about 6hrs ago. Nona you asked how I could keep going doing everything, I'm not a superwoman but what I do do ... is absolutely crash when I stop. I have just slept for the last 3hrs!!! I was trying so hard to watch some movies on sky but couldn't keep my eyes open. Each time I woke up the credits were rolling. I did that through three movies!!!

Thankyou for all your hopes of a quiet day for me yesterday ... it seemed to work! We had just one job and was a lovely sweet gentleman who was not critically ill. And at the end of it I felt great!!! My confidence is back!!

Hey cool, I just remembered ... I'm half a kilo lighter! :)

What will today bring??

Had a really stressful day yesterday. I had an interview to do for a new ambulance volunteer in the morning till 11am, then a meeting with the station manager, myself and another lady to go over my new role as Team Leader for First Response at Waihi Beach till 2pm then raced home and worked in the shop from 2pm till 4pm. Then an internet meeting with my brother in China via msn from 4pm till 5pm. And that's when the dog doodles hit the fan, when my brother informed me he wanted a 15pg full colour catalogue designed for him by next week!!! That information in itself would have been ok but combining it with all the other bits of stress from the day I went into "I can't deal with this!!" mode.

The good thing was I didn't blow out with food and still managed to stay ontrack with points. I think the other thing that was playing on my brain was my ambulance shift today. This day last week I'd had an extremely full on shift with 4 out of 5 jobs being potentially life threatening. At the time I thought I coped with it well and didn't have too much after effect on my emotions, or so I thought. But last night I just kept thinking "I can't deal with another day like last Friday". It showed me that even tho I thought I was okay about it all I did really effect me.

It will help if today is a nice quiet shift with a couple of nice easy 'safe' jobs to get my confidence back.

Was bummed out to see my weight up on the scales this morning (official weighin tomorrow). I've been such a good girl all week, sticking to my points. But I do know I started a bit of exercise and that ALWAYS slows things down for me. My conscience is clear, I know I've done it all right so if the scales decide differently that's the scales fault ... not mine!!

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

He'll keep!!

True to the story ... Bill came down to the shop soon after I'd opened to ... umm ... skite!! Yep that's the exact words he used "I've come to skite! I'm only 102kgs this morning"

Damn it!! How can that happen?? The night before last he was scoffing crofters cheesecakes (16.5pts) and a colosal cone (6pts) just before bed. And as I walked in yesterday lunchtime he was trying to shove the remains of a pie in his mouth without me seeing.

Last night when it came for going for a walk, Malachi (9) and I went on our own, while Bill remained at home watching tv. But in saying that, I'm glad I went for the walk. As we got down to the beach we noticed some kite surfers on the beach and it reminded me of the commitment I made to myself back in February. When I get to goal I want to do that. Both Mal and I stared in awe for ages at them going back and forth, in and out of the surf, jumps, flips and bombing out, popping back up and carrying on.

Here's a clip I found on YouTube to show what I mean.



Apparently it takes alot of upper body strength, something I can strive for once I get nearer goal. Although lucky for us here we're not in a flight path with Jumbo Jets!! lol

We got home around 7pm and I cooked up my healthy meal while Bill and the kids had their Tuesday night takeaways. I went to bed with a clear conscience knowing I'd done everything right today and one step closer to my $200 reward. Oooohh! Talking about that I did a bit of googling to research the Pandora Bracelet and Italian Charm Bracelet.

I really like the thought of having something I can continue to ad to as I achieve each 5kg lost.

I'm still keeping focused on that bracelet because IT WILL BE MINE! I know Bill has by some miracle managed to achieve a 3kg loss in 2 days (however official weighday is not till Saturday) and I have heard nothing but "I'm winning, I feel so LIGHT!!" from him ... but he won't hold out ... I'm sure pretty soon he'll be needing a nana nap!

Slow and steady ...

It's official!! Bill and I are having a race to lose weight!

For the last 18mths I've been heavier than Bill ... alot heavier ... 20kgs heavier. And slowly bit by bit I've been catching him up (or down should I say). I am now only a couple kilos heavier than him. Me at 107.7kgs and Bill at 105.6kgs.

So the race is on ... first to 90kgs wins!!

Even tho I'm 2kgs behind him I know I can do this! Bill is a classic hare ... starting with a bang and he'll lose it fast, 2-3kgs a week. That is, while it lasts! He won't hold out tho, he doesn't have the stick ability like I do. He'll flake out half way there and lie down for a nana nap! I know it! hehe!!

While I, the tortoise on the other hand, will plod away slowly bit by bit and pass him 5mtrs before the finishline! Watch me baby, I'll win ... no worries!!

He wanted to give me a helping hand by making it a percentage thing like on biggest loser ... but no way ... I don't need no helping hand. That's just to make his ego feel better when he doesn't win! lol

I was all inspired to go for a walk tonight after reading Chris and Janene's blog. But dinnertime came round too quickly and I just ran out of time. But after dinner I made the suggestion to Bill that we go out as a family for a walk and he jumped at the idea so off we went to walk around the Martha Mine and Pumphouse in Waihi.

We got there at 7.20pm and as we came to the entry gates by our car at 7.45pm the gates were locked!! So we had to walk back to the other entrance. We walked quick smart hoping that gate wasn't locked too or we might be spending the night sleeping under a tree. As we got there the guy was just about to put the lock on the gate... phew! Lucky! It turned our 20 minute walk into a 45 minute one, so that's gotta be good. And my ankle held out good, well onto being fully mended.

So the next thing to do ... choose my prize. My reward for winning our race to 90kgs. We've made the prize something worth $200. It's not allowed to just be money, so I have to think of something cool worth that much ... Any ideas?? I need to seriously think about this, after all, the prize will be MINE!! :)

This woman can fish

We all went out as a family today for a stint of fishing off the rocks. It was my first expedition on rough terrain since my surgery. And I'm pleased to say my ankle did really well. Can't say much for the fish tho! We lost about $14 in snagged hooks, broken lines and lost bait with not one fish caught. After an hour we gave up and Bill raced home and got the kayak and we spent the time kayaking in the bay and playing cricket on the beach.

Came home looking a little like Santa with rosy cheeks. It was good to get out on a Sunday. Normally I sit at home and get housework done and watch a bit of telly. Problem with that is I get bored and eat too much. I still ate quite a bit today but went for cherry tomatoes and strawberries which kept my points down.

I have a couple of points left now that I've finished dinner so might end the night with some more strawberries and ww icecream.

Asleep on my feet

Weighin results this week ... 107.7kgs

1.7kg loss!

I would be jumping for joy right now but to be honest I'm finding it hard to even open my eyes. I am actually ecstatic about the weighin result. My tracking and last minute wise choices have paid off. Nice to have the scales show the effort put in.

Now why am I so tired? I have just finished a kick up the arse initiation back into ambo!! A 24hr shift with 6 jobs!! Normal for the whole station is around 3-4 jobs in 24hrs and we had 6 and I was on every one of them. And the thing that made it a brain strain was that I was senior officer with all of them so all the decisions I had to make fell back on my shoulders. Of course I always have someone I can call on for help if I feel out of my depth, but I'm very conscious of the 'cry wolf' syndrome.

I ended up calling backup for one of them ... really not sure if I should or not. And the reason was only for clinical support (someone to ask "shit am I doing the right thing here??"). When my station manager arrived (she's a Paramedic) I asked her if I did the right by calling her and she told me "totally!! I was actually considering calling a helicopter in" Phew!

At 8pm I rang Bill from the station for a chat and he suggested him and the kids come to the station for dinner. They arrived at 8.20pm, walked in the door, put the dinner on the coffee table and ... beeep, beeeep, beep, beep!!!! Couldn't believe it! Sorry guys gotta go! So I saw them for all of 30secs! lol

As I was coming back from Thames hospital at about 11pm I got a call from the area manager to ask how I was and did I want them to cover the rest of my shift. I gratefully accepted and went home to flop into bed. Putting my head on the pillow at 12.52am, I'd been awake since 2am the day before ... bar 1.5hrs I managed to sneak in naps throughout the day. Before you freak out at me I wasn't driving for all that time, I was the treating officer in the back. But I don't think I'll be doing two frontline shifts in a row again ... too much!

I'm off to bed for a nana nap! I'll be back on later to check up on blogs.

Nite nite!

How much is a loss worth??

With knowing for weeks that I had this practical exam Bill chose to go fishing yesterday!! Grrr!! Meaning I was working on my feet all day in the shop and by 2pm my ankle had blown up like a balloon. I needed to get it elevated before my exam at 7pm! He walked in at 2.20pm and I asked him how long he would be. "Won't be long, just have to fillet the fish" He said. One hour and forty minutes later I was still working!! By 4pm I was in such a foul mood and yes a few of those unspeakable words came out of my mouth (under my breath of course). So when the staff arrived I took off to the station without a word to Bill. (He did apologise later saying it took him that long to fillet the 45 fish they got ... yep 45!!!)

When I got to the station I was so hoping mad, I went straight up to the evil snack box! What's the most wicked thing I can eat??? I put my money in the box for a bag of salt and vinegar chips. By the time I came down the stairs I realised what I was doing. Light bulb moment!!! I eat when I'm angry!! Not out of comfort but a need to punish someone. Punishing myself wasn't the answer and put the chips down on the coffee table. I grabbed the keys and went down to the local subway and bought myself a 6" sub and vegetarian salad instead. I did it! I recognised the trigger and stopped it! Half an hour later I put the chips back in the snack box even tho I couldn't get my money back. My weightloss this week is worth far more than $1.50!!

Three of us sitting at the station waiting to do our practical assessment and what happens?? The pager goes off and with it goes one of our assessors and the 'actor patient' ... off to a job! So a last minute ring around and we manage to get someone else to fill in.

Half an hour after we were supposed to start we finally get our assessments underway. Meanwhile our nervousness had shot through the roof. Lucky for all of us our assessor was a really laid back guy which made things more relaxing.

We were all marked on our questioning, assessment of a patient and patient care. It's always alot harder in a 'make believe' scenario than on the road, not sure why. Maybe because we know there is someone watching us, making sure we do it right and maybe because it's hard to actually feel like it's real.

After a quick 'paper, scissors, rock' I was second in turn. My scenario ... 48yr old male with unrelieved chest pain and no cardiac history. Nervousness took over a little meaning I couldn't find the ecg dots in the pack and put them on the wrong way. I didn't want to rip them and 100 hairs off the patient to reposition them so took the opportunity as 'senior officer' to tell my junior to 'fix it' while I kept questioning the patient. Don't you love delegation? My assessor had a chuckle when he told me he noticed my mistake. The only other thing I did wrong was not getting the oxygen on quick enough. But other than that I passed!!! wahooo!!!

Then last night was my first shift back onboard ... and what did I get for my first job at 2am??? Unrelieved cardiac chest pain with no cardiac history! lol and what was one of the first things I did?? Put oxygen on of course!! heheh Won't make that mistake again! The job went without a hiccup thanks to my 'practice run' earlier in the night!!

Back into bed around 3.30am, couldn't sleep much with a little too much adrenalin pumping round my body. Takes a bit to get back into the swing of things with having 6wks off. Then the alarm went off at 5.15am, up and getting ready for my day shift at Waihi Station.

A little nervous today. I'm senior officer with a newbie onboard. I'm sure all will be fine. Last night was a good kick start back into it. And so glad to be back!!!

Weighin tomorrow morning and waiting to see what my $1.50 weightloss will be ... heheh!

Another exam over and done with

Had my exam last night. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be!! I think I did ok but don't know really for sure. I'm hoping for anything above 50%. I know I definately got some answers wrong and a couple I couldn't answer at all, had to put 'don't know'. Bugger! But there were others I wasn't sure of and got right. It wasn't so much a pass/fail exam but one that pinpointed our weaknesses to restudy before we start our National Certificate in Auckland next year.

So last night was the theory, Thursday night is the practical. Friday I go back on shift and I CAN'T WAIT!!! Roll on Friday!!!!

...

I've been tagged twice by two lovely ladies for two of those cute blogging games so here's my turn ...

Game one was from Kate ...

The rules ...

1-Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog
2-Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird
3-Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs
4- Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog

• Fact one ... I am child number 3 of 4 children and always suffered from 'middle child syndrome' and became the black sheep of the family.
• Fact two ... I did a 4yr degree in Design when I left school, worked 6mths in the design industry and then packed it all in, hating the job!
• Fact three ... I was a lead singer of the Hamilton County Bluegrass Band for a year in high school, in which we travelled all around the country.
• Fact four ... I have given birth four times with not one stitch needed for any of them
• Fact five ... I lost 35kgs with Jenny Craig when I was 19 and got chosen to appear in an advert for them. I'd been away from my fiance (now hubby) for 2mths in the USA. I was supposed to fly in from the States and fly out the next day to Aussie for filming ... so I turned it down. I was chosen from over 500 applicants.
  
• Fact six ... When I had my website last time after the magazine article came out I was getting over 1000 hits a day. And now regret being so public with it. Am enjoying the cosy circle of bloggers this time round.
• Fact seven ... I absolutely LOVE fresh new season asparagus. So much so that this year Bill bought me a whole CRATE of the stuff ... just for me! I think that was a bit extreme! lol But kissed him thankyou anyway!

And the people I tag for this are ...

1. Jules
2. Janene
3. Kim
4. Anne
5. Mellisa
6. Meow Meow
7. Linda

And rather than tag another set of people for the second one I choose the above ones again. This one was from the Zanny Zanna!!

The rules ...

Four dishes I like to cook

Lasagna (with handmade pasta)
Tomato/Coconut cream pasta
Fish pie
Stirfry

Four qualities I love in people

Loyalty
Honesty
Acceptance
Humour

Four places I have been

Canada
Tahiti
Mexico
Hawaii

Four things in my bedroom

My GIANT teddybear (a metre tall sitting down)
My ambulance pager ... sits by my bed when I'm not on duty
Two guitars that I haven't picked up in years other than to dust them
Full length mirror

Four dirty words I like to use

Little shit! (call my cat that when he's naughty, luv him to bits tho the rascal!)
Dirty Bugger (aren't all males?)
Cant think of any others off hand, unless I'm real hopping mad and you don't want to hear those! lol

I'm fried ... but not deepfried

I have my pre-entry exam tomorrow night for National Certificate (ambulance). So I've spent the day today at the station going over everything I've learnt so far. I think I have it all covered. Trying not to stress too much about it.

I didn't plan ahead enough tho. I took some water, an apple and a banana with me, figuring I'd go out and buy me some lunch. But I got away from home later than I'd planned and didn't want to 'waste' precious study time buy going down to shop. I'd eaten my banana and apple and by 1pm I was so ravenously hungry that I decided I needed food NOW!! I felt like I was going to faint. So unfortunately I gave in to the dreaded 'snack box' ... grrrrr!!

The good part was that I still pointed the packet of chips and licorice I ate. And I have a chance to work it back at dinner tonight.

Not much else ... my brain is fried! Does anyone know how many bonus points study earns?

Sinful temptation anyone??

I've changed my weighin day to Saturdays. I've teamed up with two email buddies to give me some accountability and we all weigh in on the same days. So that meant only a 3 day week this week between weighins.

Results today ... 1.5kg loss!! Wahoo! My tracking and inspiration kickstart has paid off. It's so nice to be back in control again. I decided to do a google search on "1.5kg" and it's fascinating what comes up ... I found this pic in my search ...



A 1.5kg 'Sinful Moist Chocolate Cake'

Very ironic ... Would I much rather eat the 1.5kg sinful moist chocolate cake? Or have 1.5kgs gone off my hips? Hmmm ... given how good it felt to see that 1.5kgs gone on the scales this morning ... I choose to lose the 1.5kgs! Besides, no matter how sinful this cake is I'm pretty sure I'd feel pretty sick after it!!

I went out to a potluck dinner last night to farewell an ambulance officer leaving. They had a huge spread put on but I stuck to just the salads and no dessert. With that and the few drinks I had I managed to stay pretty much within points (went over by 2pts) so I'm happy with that.

I went to my surgeon appointment yesterday. He couldn't believe how well I was walking. No limp, he even thought I had a bounce in my step. I asked him if I could go back to ambulance earlier (still have another 3wks on my medical certificate).
"Sure!!" He said "when do you want to go back?"
"Ummm ... today??" lol I think he was a bit taken back by that because there was an awkward silence ...
"Probably not today. You're doing so well. I'm really impressed but I think we need at least another week before going back, to insure your ankle boots don't irritate the wound"
Although as disappointed as I was I understood where he was coming from. So we compromised at a week and I'm officially discharged from his care. I can deal with that, one week's not so bad.

I've finished my shift in the shop today and tomorrow is my day off so plan on having a quiet weekend with so much going on this last week, think I need to take it easy.

Ohh nooo!! So much for taking it easy ... getting paged to the shop, they must be busy. Amazing how the people come out of hiding when the sun's out ... better go

Shmokin!!

My great aunty (aged 82yrs) sadly died on Sunday so today I travelled down with my sister and brother in law to New Plymouth for her funeral. Was good catching up on all our news. It was our first proper catchup (other than phone calls and txts) since the funeral of her boys 3mths ago. Wow, can't believe how quickly time has flown by! My bro in law couldn't believe how much two chicks could talk ... continuously for the 3hr trip there and back ... hey we had a lot to catch up on!

I am SO back on track it's fantastic ... I'm on fire again ... finally!! Been months since I was excited about losing weight. I started off the day with a light brekkie (choc up & go 1pt) to allow for those funeral 'must eats to fit in and fill in time' foods while politely sipping tea and telling all the other great aunties how well we are doing ... my favourite scenario ... NOT! Don't get me wrong I love them all but repeating the same thing over and over is not my cup of tea.

Anyway, backtracking a bit ... calling into a cafe for lunch I had everything under control seeing a 'lightly seared scallops served on a lettuce salad' choice on the menu. I reiterated to the waitress (very politely of course) that I needed the scallops cooked in as little oil as possible. She assured me that wouldn't be a problem ... ehemm ... on receiving our lunch (40mins later!!) it was DRIPPING WITH OIL!! Not just the scallops but the 'salad' (bowl of lettuce with a few slices of tomato) was dripping so much that the lettuce had gone see-through!! Yuck!! I ate the scallops and a quarter of the lettuce and left the rest! But it was marginally better than my sisters lunch ... a chicken fillet burger with the fillet still RAW in the middle!!! (she put it down as soon as she realised).

The funeral was very sweet, she lived a wonderful fulfilled life and was a dag of a lady!!! I did very well at the funeral with all the food around me to temp me considering my growling tummy!! I consumed only 3 mini club sandwiches.

Then on the way home had a vege salad (no cheese) and lamb 6inch sub ... yummo!! All fitting in my points for the day ... ohhh and I tried the new 'fling' choc bar ... boy oh boy are they good!!! And only 3.5pts for the whole thing or 2pts for 1 of the twin bars. Quite low in points ... but dangerous!!!




For those of you wondering how my foot is going ... here's a pic ...


I meet with the surgeon tomorrow to check how it's going. I'm secretly hoping he'll give me clearance to go back on the ambulance. Infact I have my hopes set so high, I'm taking my uniform in the car and if I get the go ahead will go onto duty after the 10.15am appointment ... fingers crossed!!

I need to bottle this mojo ... or even better find the recipe, and give it out to everybody!!!

have I undone all my hard work???

Been dreading this moment for quite a few weeks now. Infact totally put it out of my head because I just didn't want to face the music. I knew it would be bad!!

I haven't stepped on those scales for over 6wks!!! For the past few days I felt like I was back up to 122kgs again! Pants getting tight on me again, and that familiar FAT feeling! And last night when I didn't stop dreaming about being fat all night, I knew I had to do something about it ... it was sending my brain in circles!!

I had brief thoughts of going back on plan for a week or so, then getting on those stupid scales ... get a grip girlfriend!! I needed to get it sorted NOW not in a weeks time ... NOW!!

So first thing @ 6.15am I got up to DO IT!! Of course doing my morning toilet stop first! :)

Yep it was definately a gain ... but no I wasn't up to 122kgs again ... THANK GOODNESS!! 110.9kgs ...yep I can deal with that, considering my naughtiness I think I got off pretty lightly!!

So ... yep I'm back ontrack this morning, starting off with bacon, poached egg, baked beans (all 5.5pts) ... good girl I am ... breakfast is my biggest downfall ... don't often have it unless I'm ontrack. Have my water out, and gonna resist those lollies, chips and icecreams!!!

Reactions good and bad, but all fun!

Thankyou for your lovely comments :) I must say I've quite a range of reactions from all over the spectrum ...

... my dad didn't notice till my brother walked in the room and commented how cool it was. He said "you had that hair cut the other day" not even seeing the colour difference! lol

... my ambo area manager walked in the station the other day and all I heard was "BLOODY HELL!! Lynette go get a hair rinse!!" He then carried on about not wanting to offend me so he wouldn't tell me what it looked like. I told him the money it cost to get it done was worth it just to get that reaction from him. "So you actually PAID someone to do that to you!?" LOL!! To let you in on a secret he has the ugliest old fashioned bowl haircut, I'd much rather have my hair ANYDAY. lol! The funny thing was his wife walked in a few moments later, straight up to tell me how much she loved my hair!!!

... I've had lovely comments from all ranges, young and old and I'm quite surprised at that, given the brightness. The photos I posted don't really show up the flouresence of the red which is actually quite pink - hehe!

I officially accepted the role of Team Leader for Waihi Beach First Responce Ambulance today (voluntary). I've done alot of pros and cons thinking, talking to people. Some warning me, some encouraging ... but at the end of the day I want a paid position and if this will be a stepping stone in getting me there then that's what counts.

I go for an official handover next Tuesday (explanation of the role) and take over as of the 1st December.

Not alot else to tell ... same ol', same 'ol

Just what the doctor ordered!

I got the sweetest phone call from Lynise on Monday to say she was kidnapping me for the day on Wednesday and taking me to her hairdresser to get rid of the greys I mentioned in my blog. I was blown away and it was the best thing I needed!!

So at 10am she picked me up and off we went. I nervously walked in to her hairdressor and had to admit that my haircut was home done. How embarrasing but she was lovely about it.

We discussed what colour I wanted and I told her something bright and 'punkish'! (delayed teenage rebellion coming out in me). "Cool! We'll have some fun" she said.



It was so nice having a hairdressor actually listen to me and not talk me out of something radical. We decided on a bright red, blonde with a dark brown base.

As she was washing the colour out she made a comment about it being VERY BRIGHT! As I took a look in the mirror I told her I LOVED IT! A look of relief come over her face followed by a big smile.



I got her to 'trim' up the mistakes and I had to chuckle as she commented how tricky it was to trim something that 'had no rules'.



Then she proceeded to get out the hairdryer!! I exclaimed "are you going to blowdry my hair?". She saw the look of horror on my face and asked "Oh don't you blowdry your hair?" Ohhh nooo!! Me and the hairdryer don't see eye to eye! lol but told her to go ahead anyway.

After a few moments she realised what I was talking about. "ohh I see what you mean" lol. A bit more product later and it was fine.

Taa Daa!!!








Lynise and I then went for a coffee and bite to eat at a cafe down the road. I suddenly realised my unusual haircut wasn't so unusual. In the few hours at the cafe I saw 3 people with the same haircut!! lol

We had a great catchup and talked the hours away!

Thankyou so much Lynise!! What a godsend you are!!!

GUESS WHAT I DID???

I AM SOOOOO BORED!!!! No shop work ... no ambulance work ... arrghhhh!!! And you know what I do when I get bored??? ....

I make rash decisions on the spot ... some good ones ... some bad ...

so guess what I did today .... out of pure boredom ....

I CUT OF ALL MY HAIR!!! ARRGHHHHH!!!! Four years taken to grow it ... and it's all gone!!

Here's the result ...







I don't regret it ... yet ... lol! Been thinking about getting it cut off for a while now. And btw it's on purpose that they're in black and white ... still need to get rid of the greys!! lol

And in amongst my blah moments the last few days I got some nerve wracking, nail biting, but 'think I can do it' news ...

The head of Waihi Beach First Response Ambulance is resigning and I've been offered the job. Still voluntary but will include some great skills to achieve and help me towards getting that paid position eventually. I haven't officially accepted the role yet, have to weigh up the time factors, but it will be a challenging but exciting role if I do take it.

On the mend

I had a bit of a down day yesterday. It wasn't just one thing but a combination of things that set me off. By the end of the day I had myself in a downward spiral (not helped by sitting alone on the couch thinking all day). So I sent an email off to a friend to get it all out.

It's amazing the wonders of verbalising something to someone. By the time I got her very kind reply I had most of it sorted in my brain. So today I'm in a lot better mindset and almost ready to conquer the world again.

My ankle is nicely on the mend with just a sticky strip over the wound. Bandage and crutches gone... yay! I have suprised myself and everyone around me in how quickly I've bounced back this time round. I think alot of it has to do with the fact that I want to get back to ambulance as quickly as possible. I went into the ambulance station for a coffee this morning. The ankle is a bit sore/swollen this afternoon but considering what I did I'm very pleased.

I watched an Oprah episode today on a weightloss challenge and it made me realise how much my motivation for losing weight has slumped. I found my motivation at it's highest when I got out each morning to walk. It was my time to clear my head and gain that motivation for the day. So I've made the decision to get back into doing that as soon as I can (obviously in consultation with my surgeon). I always find that when I start doing something towards my weightloss goals my motivation grows even if there's no motivation to start with. So that's my plan ... step one (acknowledge the problem) done ... step two (create a plan) done ...

... now for step three

All done and dandy

I'm home honey!! Miss me??

Yep in and out in one day, no muckin about. I was in panic stations for a bit when they decided to bring my surgery time forward a few hours meaning I could come home last night instead of this morning. My organised ride via ambulance had to be rescheduled.

I arrived at the hospital to the flashest lastest interior decorated polava. Looking at the reception rooms no one would have guessed this was a hospital. At 11.30am I got ushered through to the first examination room, with vitals and weight taken. My BP was only 120/70 and weight 109kg (fully clothed) so happy with all that. Then off to get dressed into the stunning hospital gowns and leg sterilised, given a pair of slippers, dressing gown and sent through to bed to wait. The time actually went pretty quickly and before I knew it was being wheeled off to theatre. I was told to shuffle across to the operating table which felt like I would fall off of, it was so skinny. 12.43pm the theatre clock read and that was pretty much the last I remember.

Next thing they were calling my name and it was over. Felt a little pain (described as 4 out of 10) and sent through to recovery. 1.50pm so surgery only took an hour, hopefully meant good news with no reconstruction needed on the tendon.

Taken up to the ward and dosed on and off for the next couple of hours with my ride coming to pick me up around 6pm and home by 7pm.

I've been pretty dozey and in a bit of pain (not too much) for most of the day. Taking it easy for the next couple of weeks. The medical certificate they gave me instructed 42 days off work ... hmmm ... don't think so! lol

I have a follow up appointment in three weeks so will ask if I can go back to work then.

Until then I'm taking it easy on the couch as the pic shows.

Saturday I have Mandy and her family coming over for a BBQ so really looking forward to that.

Thursday looms nearer!!

Wow that comment was very bizarre. I'm happy to view people's opinions on any subject but ya'd think they'd make it a little shorter so I could be bothered reading it ... ummm nup sorry mate!! lol

The other bizarre thing was that I couldn't delete it. Everytime I pressed the delete button blogger would malfunction... very interesting!!

I think you're right in saying it was because I used gay and teletubbies in the same post. I had nothing against poor old tinky winky, just don't do the gay part myself very well. ... anyway ...

I had a blast and the costumes were a great hit... everyone's goggle eyes as we all walked in said it all. And yes I did get very hot!!! Infact at one stage I had to go outside for some fresh air and on looking in the mirror noticed my bright red face. I went to my station manager and told her "I think I'm overheating love ... look I'm taccycardic with a pulse of 120!! You don't think I'm gonna have an 'mi' (cardiac arrest) do you??" lol ... she chuckled and assured me I'd be fine.

We did get some photos taken but on another lady's camera (not digital) so not quite sure how quickly I can get them up on here.

I was very well behaved and did a lot more dancing than drinking and very grateful for that the next day watching the hungover people have to sit through another 5hrs of lectures!!

In saying that tho I do have a confession to make (oops better not use that word, might get a priest making another horrendously long comment) ... my eating has been shocking the last few weeks and I haven't hopped on the scales in absolutely ages!

I think subconsciously I'm putting it all in the too hard basket at the moment. When I had my ankle surgery a year ago I put on a major amount of weight purely because I was on bedrest for nearly 4wks.

And my surgery date is fast looming on me ... Thursday ... I have a horrible feeling it's going to happen again ... I mean I know it won't but this nagging thing sits there in the back of my head.

Once I get the surgery done and back on my feet again I can get back into it. Right now all I can think of is that horrible operation on Thursday! I probably won't get a chance to update much before that with working all day tomorrow and Wednesday.

Up bright and early getting everything packed for hospital Thursday morning. Have to leave around 10am with surgery booked for late afternoon.

I get to try out the new facilities at the brand spanking new private Grace Hospital in Tauranga but unfortunately I probably won't see much being in and out so quick. Not even sure I get a meal ... have to starve 12hrs before op and let out first thing the next morning... ahh well.

Home again on Friday. I'm kindly being picked up by my own private ambulance and brought home by my station manager ... how cool is that?? I was blown away at their offer!

I'll try and get an update done again on Saturday when I get home to let you know how it went.

I'm sure all will be fine ... I hope! As long as it's better than Pink Panthers experience I'll be happy!

Does my butt look big in this??

I'm leaving for conference in just over 24hrs!!! Wahooo!!!

I won a grant to attend "Traumed" in Whangarei for 3 days! 10 people over Hauraki/Coromandal region (st johns) were chosen and wahoooooo ... they picked me as one of them.

What is Traumed?? It's a conference on Emergency Trauma Care attended by all sorts of professions in the health industry like ED Doctors, nurses, ambulance officers, surgeons ... you name it. So I'm going to be surrounded by some very experienced peps!! Time to act like I know somethin!! lol

On the Saturday night they have a dress up nite in which we're supposed to go to the theme "Saturday night at the movies" ... what the heck does that mean?? After much debate the four of us going in the same car decided it meant "1960's - Rock 'n Roll" ... So I managed to get some stuff together to go as "the Fonze" from Happy Days.

Then this morning I got a letter in the post from St Johns explaining about the conference, including the 'saturday night at the movies theme' ... go as your favourite movie charactor! Ohhh nooo ... so a quick call to my station manager (who is also going) and an executive decision was made ... we're going as ... wait for it ... THE TELETUBBIES!!!!



Can you imagine it?? Dressed up in big fat suits!! Trying to have a few drinks in that thing ... oh my goodness!!! Someone laughed that if we have too much to drink we might fall over and not be able to get back up!!! HAHAHA!!!

Should be a bit of fun anyway ... hope I don't get the purple one ... he's gay!!!

What the... ????

I spent last night at a training session for ambulance put on by the police about how to deal with a crime scene so that ambulance officers entering a crime scene don't contaminate any evidence. It was a very emotionally draining session with lots of photo's of actual NZ historical murder scenes.

I came home ready for bed. As Bill and I sat chatting before turning out the lights we heard a few 'bumps'. As in the past I presumed it was the naughty cat jumping from the kitchen bench except the fact that Bill pointed to the cat right next to me. We both looked at eachother and Bill jumped out of bed to look out the back window. The security light of the liquour shop next door was on and I quickly heard the familiar sound of a steel pole that is usually used to lock their back door. I jumped to my feet fumbling round for the phone and rang 111. Given the time (11.30pm) and darkness (and the fact that I had already taken off my glasses for the night) I found it really hard when the operator asked me for a description. All I could give her was that there were 3 (that we could see) thin built guys with light coloured hoodies on. The cops were on their way and I was warned from the operator not to go investigate ... as I watched (and tried to silently frantically stop Bill grabbing the metal vacuum cleaner pipe and putting on my running shoes). I told her yep, sure, no problem. She then went on to insure that we weren't to contaminate any evidence. I didn't tell her but felt like saying "Listen lady, I've just spend three hours in a training session put on by police on just that subject".

The next thing the alarm sounded and I saw two guys go sprinting across the back carpark and disapear into the creak. I explained what I'd seen to the 111 lady and she thanked me and I hung up. Feeling quite bummed that once again they'd gotten away.

My thoughts then went to Bill ... he'd been gone over 10mins ... where was he?? I gingerly walked outside and around the front of the shop but couldn't see him anywhere. Then the security guard turned up and relieved I asked him to look around for him for me.

Five minutes later (which seemed like an eternity) Bill came puffing along the footpath. They got one of them!!! And this is his account of when he left the house ...

Little punks breaking into the shop next door!! Shit that could be my shop they are rading. "I'll get the car and suprise them. F*%^K thats the alarm going off. Running down the road checking each driveway and listening i work out that they have gone into the creek and making for the bridge or across to the vacant section next to the bridge. Armed with my manly vacume cleaner pipe I hide and watch the little barstards make a break for it down the road towards me..."STOP U LITTLE SHITS", They split 3 down Dillon St and one back up the road. "He'll Do Me" I think and start the chase. 200 meters and im stuffed. "stop soon shit head or have a heart attack" My thoughts out loud. "Stop you f&%$K" i yell with my 'weapon' in hand. 40 meters later he stops and after a few "stop man the cops are on thier ways" pant, heave, "shit I am fat" mind games he does!! GREAT I can breath again. We walk facing each other and i coax him into stoping. "PUT DOWN THAT BIG THING" he yells;

"Come closer, I'll put it down" I reply.
"No just put it down" pleadingly he says.
"Ok, Ok there it is on the grass... come back here"
"No you're big too"
"I cant fuckin change that can I??!!!"

We walk face to face backwards down the street and I slowly gain his ground. Standing a metre away I say "come back and talk to the cops and sort it out with them"
"Nah, leave me alone, don't hurt me"
"Don't run!!!" (thinking I'm actually too fucked to run!!!) "The cops are coming down the road behind you. Come back towards the shops"
"I didn't do it! I didn't do it!" He squealed like a little pig
"Cool! Just tell the cops that and sort it out with them" Still trying to dredge my breath from the bottom of my bowels
"Don't grab me man! Don't grab me!!" He pleaded, walking down a driveway.
"i know these people! You don't want to go down there! Come back towards the shops. What's your name?"
"Jake"
"Whatever! sort that out with the cops. Just keep walking with me"
"I didn't go inside"
"You were still with them"
"Just don't touch me"
"Nah, nah, nah ... we're sweet" All I could think of was doing a 'Homer on Bart'!

Two hundred metres from the end of the road I grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt and drag him across the road.
"You lied! You lied!!! You said you wouldn't grab me!!"
I was laughing so hard to myself ... you little shit! Of course I'm going to lie, you broke into a liquour shop!
Grabbing his colar and the bottom of his shirt I tied them firmly in a knot and dragged him down the road. He stuck his right arm out of his sleeve as if to punch me. I yelled "Don't fucken hit me man or I'll beat you!! And I'm BIGGER THAN YOU!!!"
"Let go of me, let go of me. You lied" When I tried to grab his arm to put it behind his back he yelled "Don't touch me! It reminds me of my stepfather!"
"Don't give me your sob story you whining little shit!"

After throwing the guy into a hedge three or four times I saw the cop car coming down the street. Holding him on the ground with one arm and waving to the cop car with the other, I thought they noticed me. They didn't! Now I was nervous! And the goon tried to wrestle himself away from me. Back into the hedge he went! Finally the cops see us and reverse back down the road. They jump out and 'Jake' struggles hard to try and break free. I pick him up laterally and throw him into the concrete. Then jump on him with my knee followed by a 105kg of fat!!! The cops yell out "Is this one of them?" Heaving I say yes.

They grab him and one takes him to the car, the other asks for details.
I let them know that the others went down the other street, while making my way back up the road to my vacuum cleaner pipe. "I need some details"
"It's Bill from Beachmart. I just need to go get something from back up the road"
Recognising me they took off down the road to get the other little shits. I pick up my pipe and think "Shit I need to hide this too as I could be viewed as a lethal weapon"

For the next while we wait with the security guard for the owner of the liquour shop to arrive, which seems to take forever. He arrives and tells us while he was on his way from his home 15kms away he encountered 3 abandoned horses galloping towards his vehicle on a main state highway! He TOO rings 111 to report the incident. They reply "I'm sorry sir, but all our officers are currently tied up with a robbery in progress"
"THAT'S MY SHOP!!! I'M TRYING TO GET THERE!!"
They compassionately reply "Well aren't you having a bad night!!!!!!"

An hour or so later the cops turn up with all arrested in the back of the vehicle!

PHEW!!

so sack me then ...

Just a quick post to let you all know I'm still alive and kickin. Between ambo and doing my new job (graphic design consultancy) I don't have many hours left in the day ... even for sleeping! I ended up doing an 18hr day yesterday to get a project done for presetation to a client first thing this morning. Have still to hear back how it went, hopefully they liked it.

Had my first MVA on Friday (motor vehicle accident) with only minor injuries, very interesting all the same dealing with police and tow trucks.

I'm currently waiting back on my application to do Nat Cert (National Certicificate in Emergency Care) next year. My manager has approved it but the Regional Support Officer needs to approve it also. I'm a bit cheeky applying to do it because he told me 4 months ago that I wasn't ready and needed more onroad experience yet. But I put the application in anyway, what can he do? Sack me??

Doh! lose weight? count points!!

Short post today to let you know my weighin results ... 1.5kg loss. It's amazing what one can do when one ACTUALLY counts points and sticks to plan for a week!!! lol

My next short term self challenge is to get below 106kgs by next week (only another 600g to go) so that I can be lighter on the 1st October than I was on the 1st September.

Plan for today ... Bill is sick (the big sook) so I'll be working in the shop and doing my computer work in the shop too ... busy, busy!

Wahoooo!!! I lost weight finally!!!

We have a date set ...

With everything that happened over the weekend I forgot to mention I finally have a date set for my surgery for my ankle!! We started procedures on the surgery back in March and 7mths later I'm FINALLY getting it done! So on October 18th I will go into the new Grace Hospital (southern cross) in Tauranga. I get admitted around lunchtime, the surgery is done late afternoon and I'm discharged first thing the next morning. I have mixed emotions about it all. One part of me is excited and relieved to eventually get my ankle sorted and moving again and another part is nervous (to be expected I guess). My body as actually become accustomed to getting around with it the way it is. Over one year since I broke it, it is still seized. I have up and down movement but no sideways movement (as if putting the soles of your feet together). In the short term I could get away without the surgery but I've been told that if I don't get anything done about it that later on in life my hips and back will play up because of it.

Unfortunately the 18th of October is right before Labour Weekend which is one of the busiest weekends in the shop for us. So I'll be out of action for it but will be good to get it sorted before summer chaos. They are aparently going to have a good fish around in there to check it is actually the tendon stuck behind the plate and not something else. So instead of the 10cm scar I have right now I'll have a 20cm one!! Great! But I guess it's not like I'm a foot model or anything. The plate and screws will be coming out and it is supposed to be fixed immediately. Recovery should be quite quick with just waiting for the stitches to heal. So back up and running (well not quite running lol) in a couple of weeks.

Mandy (chubbymum) has mentioned she wants to catchup over Labour weekend while they are here so a visitor will be quite nice while I'm house bound!

Malachi is doing very well with his temporary caps on his teeth. But boys being boys I had to tell him to get off the roof of the shed this afternoon!!! And yes it was his second teeth! And aparently the nerve has been permantly damaged on the left front tooth, meaning probably some discolouration to it. I'll find out definately when I take him to the dentist to get the proper caps done in a couple of weeks.

I think the weekend caught up with me this afternoon because instead of doing my computer work I slept. I tried so hard to keep my eyes open, with no such luck. I slept for a couple of hours and woke up at 3pm VERY GRUMPY! Poor Bill! lol Don't do afternoon sleeps very well.

Well talking of work, I better get some done now.

Enough already

I sat down to a quiet dinner last night and went to take my shoes off realising it would be another quiet nite of duty at the beach. I have lots of jobs at Waihi but when on duty at the beach usually there's nothing. Infact in the last 10mths I've had a total of two jobs! I just finished my dinner when *beep beep beep beep* my pager went off. I rang in to get the details and realised the seriousness when COMMS told me that both Auckland Eagle helicopter (police) and Auckland Westpac helicopter (medical) had been dispatched to a guy missing off the beach. We were directed to the coastguard headquarters and for the three hours we waited. The guy had been trying to get in a long line (fishing), stepped in a hole, lost his footing and got swept out, in HUGE waves with a strong rip. After hearing the details of the guy I made the realisation that he had been in our shop that morning buying bait. Very eiree feeling.

We walked up and down the beach while 2 coastguard boats and 2 helicopters weaved their way along the 10km coastline. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. As time ticked on we realised we were now looking for a body. He was only wearing shorts so hypathermia was a certainty. After four hours they called the search off. Disappointed ... we all went home. I'd just got my uniform off and pj's on when *beep beep beep* my pager went off again!! Unheardof ... 2 waihi beach jobs ... IN ONE NIGHT??!! So throwing on my uniform again I headed out the door to be picked up by my partner.

COMMS weren't 100% sure of the address. It was at a camp ground somewhere at Waihi Beach. There are 3 camp grounds here and with being the first day of the school holidays they were full of people!! I suggested trying the top 10 one first. We got there to find complete darkness with no one looking like they needed any help. So we informed COMMS that we would be relocating to the other camp ground ten kms away at the other end of the beach. By this stage Waihi ambulance (sent to back us up) met us and we both went on our way. Arriving to find another campground in darkness ... no one seeming like they need our assistance. COMMS told us to look for a "white campervan ... ehem ... goodluck with that!!" he laughed. The campground was filled with white campervans!! We beeped our horns to see if the person on the other end of the phone with COMMS could hear us. Nope. But he did mention that he saw us going past about 10 minutes ago and hadn't seen us since. Oh nooo ... he was back at the first campground!!!! So off we trotted back 10kms to the original campground! And when we arrived this time there was the campground manager there to meet us and guide us to the right one where we found a very patient man lying in the back of his van with dislocated artificial hip. Poor guy!! Lucky he wasn't in too much pain or too seriously injured ... we found him ... eventually!

I finally sunk into bed at 12.30am ... not too bad considering the eventful night.

This morning I woke thinking to myself ... that was enough drama last night ... now for a nice quiet day. Hmmm ... don't ever say that ... cuz the ambulance I was on duty with, I ended up calling myself for my son Malachi!!!

He was riding his bike down at the school when the wheel came off and he went face first onto the driveway! Two broken front teeth! Poor little man! Given it was the weekend I really didn't know where to take him so rang it in as a job.

So this afternoon we took him down to Tauranga to have temporary caps put on. He was very brave my poor little man!

Now ... honestly ... that is ENOUGH drama for one day!!! Wonder what tonight will bring!

kids ... I brought a new toy home

It's currently 7am on Saturday morning and I've been awake since 2.30am when the pager went off for my first night shift on ambulance. I must admit I felt out of my comfort zone responding at night from home. No matter how quickly I tried to get my uniform and shoes on it seemed to take forever!!

By the time I arrived in my car to my partners house (where the ambulance was) my adrenalin levels were through the roof. I was puffing. Was a horrible feeling. But what seemed to me like 20 minutes was actually only 7 minutes.

My normal calm manner in walking into the house was jittery and flustered. It's been a very long time since I felt like that on ambo. Fortunately for me my partner was used to nights and allowed me to take a step back and become the goafa.

I had a good talk with her on the way back from hospital and was relieved to find out that's totally normal when starting out on nights. The feeling of 'no matter how fast you go feels too slow' and uncertainty. So I'll add it to my list of life experiences.

My next problem was being to hyped to go back to sleep when I got home at 5am ... hence why I'm still awake now. I have staff starting at 12pm so I'll go have my nana nap then.

Another first for me today is bringing the ambulance home. For this half of the shift I get to have the ambulance here. Very exciting for the kids and another step up for me. Learning all the radio instructions and tasks to be done when having the truck at home is confusing but so far I think I've got it right.

I've been totally on track with points the last 3 days. I almost blew it this morning with being so hyped and tired at the same time I wanted FOOD!! And a yummy hot pie seemed the perfect solution. Lucky common sense kicked in and I opted for a salad sandwich instead. Twas a good girl I was.

I passed!!!

Some very exciting news to share today ...

Remember that 60hr assignment I had to do for my next patch on ambulance?? I got it back today and I passed with flying colours!!! The comment at the bottom was "an excellent job! Well done!" Everyone I know that has done this assignment has had to redo parts of it and resubmit so I feel very chuffed that I got it right first time.

As my dad said he would have to pass me given it was grief (well not all of it, some was on NZ Law and Legislation) after what we've all just been through.

So this brings me to being a Primary Care 2 officer. Next is National Certifical in Ambulance Care which takes a whole year to do (part time) and brings me to Ambulance Officer ... then onto Paramedic. So I'm slowly getting there bit by bit.

we have connection!!

We have internet connection again ... finally!!! I think the problem was a power surge to our modem. The computer is on a surge protector but the modem wasn't. We ended up ordering a replacement modem from telecom but got a wireless one this time, so I am currently sitting in the lounge on my laptop doing my update without any cords!!!! Oh the bliss!! Our other computer has always been in the shop so after shop is closed no more internet. To be able to update at anytime anywhere will be great! And hopefully means more updates for you guys.

On a sad note I might have to say goodbye to my smileys! :(

My new laptop is an apple mac and unfortunately smileycentral doesn't work with apple macs ... boo hoo!!! Have to have a think on this one.

On the eating side ... I did well all day till after dinner and I gave in and had a magnum white ... damn those magnums!!! Maybe I should do a challenge thingee and see how many days I can go without a magnum and reward myself at the end with a BOX OF MAGNUMS!!! juuuust kidding!!

I went to my piglets playgroup for official weighin today and recorded a weight of 108kg, the same as at home yesterday ... although ... I was stark naked on the scales yesterday and today's weight was fully dressed ... so that means it musta come down a little. But I'm not going to get too pedantic about it.

I'm off to catchup on everyone's blogs and find out what I've been missing out on.

New Haircut and new job

Yes where the heck have I been? I hear you all asking ...

I'm still here but given my really bad eating I was avoiding facing my blog and letting everyone know how bad I'd been. So yes I've been eating bad stuff, not counted any points for the last 2-3wks.

So I took the plunge and stood on the scales this morning. And to be honest I was relieved. It was a gain but I thought it would be more ... 108.1kgs ... a 2kg gain. I was figuring it would be around 110kgs.

So have started again this morning ... counting points, drinking my water. Feels so good to be back in control again.

Onto other stuff ... I got totally sick of my hair yesterday morning and in a flash impulse grabbed the scissors and dived into the bathroom before my daughter got in there. Came out holding onto a wad of hair and seeing the look on Lauren's face was hilarious! I haven't cut it all off but took about 10cm of the bottom and layered it. So much lighter ... I love it.

Here it is ...



The other good news is I have a new job. I've contracted myself out to my brothers company to do some graphic design work and he's bought me a new laptop computer with all the programs on it. Which means I can just grab the laptop and do the work in the shop or at ambo or where ever. When we tried to connect it to the internet something happened to the internet and now it's buggered ... really sick of internet problems. So we're still trying to sort that one out. Lucky I still have internet at the station so getting my updates done there.

Other than all that life is plodding on as normal. I'm so glad I have my weighin over and done with ... moving on to better pastures.

Thankyou you!!

Wow thankyou all soooo much for your support through this! It's so amazing how just having someone say 'thinkin of ya' makes a huge difference!

I arrived home last night and working on getting back to a normal routine again although it's continually in the back of my mind that while I plod along with everyday things my sister is trying to deal with everything still. But I mustn't let that stop me from trying to regain normality.

Her and I have spent alot of time crying over the last ten days along with the rest of the family. There are no answers to all the why questions but it was very helpful to know that no matter what decisions were made differently it looks like the outcome would have been very similar. That in itself makes the healing process alot simpler.

The funeral was very sweet. I was fine for the first half hour after I'd arrived at the chapel, until I looked over to my sister and seeing her grief stricken face made me brake down in tears ... again. Part of me felt so guilty (and please don't tell me off for saying this, it's just an emotion that I need to express to get rid of it) but I have four beautiful children and falling pregnant for me is just so easy, too easy at times. I would have a child for her in a heartbeat!!! But it's not as easy as that. I have offered before and will offer again someday down the track. But for now she needs to get her body healed again and of course her heart.

Lynda you asked what caused this ... she had what they thought were cysts on her ovaries throughout her pregnancy but they didn't want to operate as it would put the babies at risk so they just monitered her pain.

Then one afternoon she got a sudden temperature and the rigers (uncontrolable shaking) so went up to the hospital and as she got there she became overwelmed with uncontrolable 10/10 pain. They then took her into surgery to find out why she was in such pain. As they opened her up they realised that what they thought were cysts were infact absesses and her body at that stage went into complete septic shock and started to shut down due to the poison from the puss. As to where the absesses came from? Not totally sure, they think possibly from fybroids which became inflammed from hormone treatment during IVF.

The positive in all of this is that Trish is still alive, although still in hospital but she will make a full recovery.

Now onto normality for me ... and on the eating front don't really know at all how I've gone. Haven't weighed myself, my clothes aren't any tighter but have not counted any points for the last 10 days. Next weighin will be Wednesday ... ohhh and I have my computer fixed again. So hard staying on track without you guys to keep in touch with.

So good to be back!!!

precious moments

Hi Lyn here again. Mandy has kindly let me use her computer to update while I'm here for dinner with her. Thankyou Mandz!!!

It all started with a phone call from my sister on Monday night to say she had just woke up from anesthetic after coming out of 6hrs of surgery and that Jayden was dead and Callum was on life support and that she had nearly died on the operating table.

And I never realised the reality of this until today when one of the surgeons came to speak to us and with a look of "pay attention to this!!!" she told us how they came so very very close to losing my sister on the operating table!! She lost 5litres of blood!! had 1.5litres of PUSS taken out of two 15cm burst absesses in her uterus, had every part of her intestine taken out, inspected, put back in, her uterus (with babies still inside) taken out and put back in and her blood pressure dropped to 85 systolic (anything below 100 systolic is death door material!) and her kidneys went into organ failure along with slowly bit by bit other organs in her body. By the grace of God she was saved and through a horrible 40hr journey is back on the road to recovery.

But so sadly because of this her beautiful twin baby boys have sacrificed their lives. Yes today sadly little Callum who has been on life support for the last 4 days passed away. The decision was made to turn off the life support today given the circumstances that there was no brain activity recorded and nearly continuous seizures for the last 4 days. It then was up to little Callum if he would survive or not. The hardest decision I think anybody could possibly have to make and one I am very proud of my sister and husband for having the strength to make.

When the moment came to turn off the machines the nurses brought little Callum up from Neonate Intensive Care, took all the chords, wires and moniters off and let my sister just hold him ... mummy and baby ... a beautiful sight! With lots of support around her she announced he had gone, that she felt his spirit leave and sure enough a few moments later he stopped breathing. The most precious moment I have EVER experienced!!!

The result's on little Jayden's autospy came back today which stated reason of death as organ shutdown of maternal mother. In other words as my sister went into shutdown mode (right before death) the body considered the uterus to be a non-essential for sustaining life organ and stopped all supply, hence babies suffered.

It's been a very emotional week with still more tears to come with the funeral for her little babies. But we're holding strong ... especially my one and only dear sister!!!!

Update for Lyn

Hi everyone this is Chubbymum here.

Lyn asked me to update you all on what is happening.

It has been really emotional time for them and Lyn is in Hamilton for the next few days.

On Tuesday Lyn's sister-in-law had been rushed to hospital with septicemia, she was 31 weeks pregnant with twin boys.... one son has died and the other wee man is fighting for his life in ICU, her sister is out of ICU and into a ward now.

I will find out more details on Thursday and if Lyn can't update then will update again for her.

Chubbymum