A few panic attacks

I just finished my last Waihi Beach First Responce shift last night and today is my last Waihi Ambulance shift ... sad and exciting all the same.

I'm having a few drinks at the station tonight to celebrate them all getting rid of me, so that should be a bit of fun. Although I found out the other day that the other girl I know (from up the coast) who also applied for Auckland and didn't get in, is going to be at the station tonight doing a shift ... whooopsie!! lol. I told my station manager and she said "who cares?? It's your station not hers, if she wants to be here to do a visitors shift, you have every right to be here too!" Ahh well, she'll get over it I guess.

I had all my medical checks and blood tests the other day. They tested my Blood Pressure (which was a little on the high side, I'm thinking from all the stress and the fact that I've been sick for the last 2weeks), hearing test, vision test and immunity status for things like Mumps, rebella, Hep C etc.

I've been having dreams the last week which makes me think I'm a little nervous about this move to Auckland. One where I can't find my car on my first day, then work out it's a campervan which only goes 50kms/hr, so means I'm going to be late, then the road turns into a dirt track, then eventually becomes a deadend and I can't make it there.... stress?? ... um yep think I'm a little stressed.

But deep down I know this is a good move for me and one that will improve my self esteem, confidence, and ambulance skills. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get there.

I go up to Auckland on Sunday/Monday to sort out my flat, get spare key, find out where my station is, parking etc.

Then I have a week off from ambulance, spend some time with the family. On Saturday (6th Sept) I go to Thames for a 2 day course (for ambulance), then up to Auckland Sunday night for my first shift Monday morning (8th Sept)

Deep breath Lyn, it will all be fine!!!

the pieces are coming together

Wow it's overwhelming to read all your lovely comments!! Thankyou so much!!

Although I didn't think I was too phased about the fact that I hadn't organised anywhere to stay in Auckland yet, subconsiously I think it was playing on my brain.

I had a couple of options up my sleeve but they all had a little tweaky thing that didn't make it 100% suitable.

Here was my criteria ...

• needed to be close to the motorway for easy access wherever I might be put for that day
• needed to be more south auckland than anywhere else, for closer commuting home and I know the layout of south auckland better given we lived there for 7yrs
• wanted a quiet household where I could easily sleep during the day when on night shift
• no kids
• no party house
• no lawns to mow
• reasonable rent
• off street parking for my car
• secure area given I would be coming and going all hours of the day and night
• friendly flatmates who I could relax around

Option One ... Had been offered a place with an ambo friend who lived out at Kawakawa bay. She's a lovely lady and they are a retired couple but it was so far out of Auckland (35mins on a good day)

Option Two ... My cousin and his wife have just moved to Auckland in Onehunga. While I get on really well with them she is pregnant due to give birth in October and they have a big barking dog. I could see myself having sleeping issues there.

Option Three ... Sandybee from on here said she had a friend looking for a housemate but was located a little off the motorway and more east auckland than south.

I really wasn't sure which of these options to pursue. Last week I rang a really good friend of mine (who I worked with for 5yrs at The Warehouse in Manukau). She was sooo excited when I told her I was going to be coming back to Auckland. "You HAVE to come live with me!!!" She said. Turns out her and her flatmate had said the week before they wanted to get another flatmate in. They live in a 3 bedroom 2 storey townhouse (only 3yrs old) right in the centre of Manukau City ... 500mtrs off the motorway.

I have a double room for $150 a week which includes rent, power, phone, internet, off street carpark, as many toll calls as I want (she's on a flat rate call plan) and she and her flatmate are in their 40's, with no kids and not into frequent parties. They both work full time so will have the place to myself during the days (when I'm doing nightshift). And we get on like a house on fire!!!

ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!! As soon as it was confirmed that's where I'll be living it was like a huge weight came off my shoulders!! Made me realise how stressed I actually was about it.

I can't wait to catchup with her again... it's all fitting in perfectly!!!

IT GOT IT!!!!!

The phone rang ... and I just knew!!! So I wasn't surprised when I heard the voice on the other end introducing himself from Auckland Ambulance Head Quarters ...

"Congratulations! ... " I don't remember the rest of the conversation!! I am absolutely flabagastered, jumpin jimbo fantastically excitedly ... ecstatic!!!!!! I GOT THE JOB!!! WAHOOO I GOT THE FRIGGEN JOB!!! I can't believe after doing just under 3000 volunteer hours last year that I'm finally going to be paid to do the job I LOVE!!!!!!

WAFRAHIIGIN HOOOOOOO!!!!!

For the minor details .... start date 8 September, where? South Auckland, staying with a friend until I can find myself a good flat/boarding place, commuting back home on my days off ... 2 night shifts, 2 day shifts and 4 days off.

I'm a paid ambewance owfiser, I'm a paid ambewance owfiser, I'm a paid ambewance owfiser!!!! Heheh!!!!

nail biting stuff

Thankyou all so much for your support!! It means so much!

I haven't got much more to say but since it's been nearly a week since my last update I thought I'll keep you all posted as to what's happening ...

So what's happening?? lol ... nothing!! lol

I'm still waiting to hear back whether I got the job. I was told 2 weeks before I'd know and it has only been one week ... so I just sit and wait, and wait, and wait... nails getting shorter and shorter (no I'm just kidding, I'm not a nail biter)

I'll certainly keep you posted as soon as I know anything!!!

Glad it's over!!

Lucky!!! I made the decision a week ago to go up the night before and stay in a motel room!!! I got to Auckland and settled into my room, turned on the news to see that the Kaurangahake Gorge was CLOSED!!! (due to heavy rain, flooding and slips!!) If I hadn't have gone up early I wouldn't have made it in time!!

Feeling quite alone in my room I set out to Silvia Park Mall for dinner and to buy a few bits and pieces I hadn't got (an exercise top and breakie/lunch for the next day). I got told to eat carbs for my dinner meal before. Given I hadn't eaten carbs for the last 28 days I was a bit nervous at choosing a pasta meal. My tummy groaned for a bit afterwards but was fine.

I didn't sleep well waking up every hour from 3am onwards. At 6am I was up and having a shower making sure I didn't wet my hair (that had been straightened) or my ankle (that had been strapped just in case) so was a very tricky shower.

I left the motel room at 7.20am and made it to Head Quarters at 7.25am (35mins early). Much rather to be early than late. The rain was horrendous!! First up was a group Team exercise and fortunately was with a really great bunch who all worked well together. The comment was made afterwards how well we worked together (which was the whole point of the exercise) Check one done!!

We then went on a rotational basis for our next 5 assessments. First up for me?? THE PHYSICAL!!! Two of us were doing it together and with me was a huge 6ft guy!! Stretches (including the one I was nervous about putting one arm over my shoulder the other under and touching) done!!! Phew!! Step ups?? DONE!! Carry chairing a 70kg dummy up and down 3 flights of stairs twice!! DONE!! (harder than I thought it would be) Pressups?? DONE!! (and done easy thanks to my training) Walk around the block carrying 4 pieces of equipment??? Given I was with a 6ft guy I had to take 2 steps for every one of his which made me push myself a whole lot harder ... DONE!! And 30 secs UNDERTIME!!! I was so happy to have the physical out of the way ... AND PASSED!! YEEE HAHHHH!!!

Next ... My formal interview ... I answered my best. It was none of the questions I thought it would be but they commented on a lot of answers what a good answer that was and finished off how good it was that I gave so many examples of situations I had been in. They couldn't believe that I was a full time volunteer that didn't get paid!!

Next ... a 40minute drive on the motorway and around the suberbs. I nearly didn't completely stop at a stop sign because I was too busy chatting to the assessor but realised just in time!! Phew!!! Passed!!!

Then map reading exam ... yay another passed!!

Then the clinical ... 40mins of questions assessing my medical knowledge. There was only one question I struggled on which I got ... eventually. Thankfully the assessor gave me the time to think about it. He said at the end that I was the best he had in this intake of people ... another yay!!!

Then a psycho analysis ... just answered the best I could and no way of telling how I did on that one.

It was a full on day of intense assessments!!! But at the end of it I really felt I did the best I possibly could!! I gave 100 percent and wouldn't change a thing!!!

Now I have 2 weeks of waiting for the outcome. If I get accepted I have a start date of early September which is just over 4wks away!!

I was absolutely buzzing on my way home ... a good days hard work!! As I was driving home the first news report said the gorge was still closed!! I only had 1/4 tank of gas left just out of Paeroa ... if it was still closed I would have to go all the way down to Matamata, over the Kaimai's to Tauranga and home ... an extra 1.5hrs on my journey. Lucky the gas station at Paeroa was still open as I came through so I filled up. The guy there told me that he thought the gorge had just opened but wasn't sure. So I took the chance and YES fortunately it had just opened as I came through ...

... home!! Finally!!! And glad to be so!! What a day ... but a happy day!!!

Here we goooo!!!

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!! The day I go to Auckland, stay the night and have my interview first thing in the morning. I have to be at Head Quarters at 8am sharp! I've managed to get a room to stay just down the road from there and I'm really nervous already!!!

I've been given advice from EVERYBODY!! And I've decided that I can't do any more now for my interview. If I don't make the grade now then I never will. For the past 28 days I have dieted, walked my butt off, done hundreds of pressups, step ups, crunchies, studied and memorised my proceedures, practiced and practiced my questioning of a sick patient, practiced my answering of interview questions, practiced my cpr and practiced my mapreading ...

... and now I'm over it!! I'm practiced out! I'm dieted out! I'm exercised out!! For the next 36hrs I will do nothing ... no I correct that ... I'm doing one more walk tonight and then NOTHING!!

I have a list of things to pack and a list of things still to do ... including getting my hair done tomorrow, sorting my exercise outfit out, getting my ankle strapped by my physio and packing my bag.

I'M SO NERVOUS!!! Let's hope I can get these nerves under control by Wednesday morning!!

Oh and by the way ... weighin I was exactly the same again ... 99.8kg

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!

OHHH MY WEEK JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!!

Official weighin today .... At 5.50am getting up and ready for ambo duty today I hoped on the scales and my eyes jumped out of my scull like a cartoon character!!!

99.8kg!!!!!!

Can you believe it???? I'm struggling to .... I'M IN DOUBLE DIGITS!!!! FINALLY!!! After 18mths I'm finally under 100kgs!!! Ohhhhh those numbers looked so beautiful today!! I was dancing round the room singing 99.8 ... I'm 99.8 ... 99.8 ... I'm 99.8!!! While Bill trying to sleep grumbled at me ... I didn't care ... I'm 99.8!!!!

So in one week I lost 5kgs!!!!! exactly!! 104.8kg I was last Thursday. I've never lost that much weight in one week!!!! Shows what complete determination can achieve!!! And this is the most determined I've EVER been to lose weight!

And to top it off I was talking to the First Aid tutor here at the station this morning who lives in Auckland (there's a First Aid course being held at the station today) and we got talking about my Auckland application and she said if you need a place to stay on your days up there come stay with us. Absolutely perfect!!! She's with St Johns so she understands my work, they're a retired couple (so no late night parties to keep me awake) with no kids at home in a 4 bedroom house and they both work during the day (so I can sleep when I need to after night shift) and they were looking for a border!!! I can't believe it!! Fantastic!! Ohh and she's on a weightloss program too so no temptations!! She just has to go home to talk it over with hubby but she said she thinks it will work out perfectly!!! And she's a sweetie!!!

Ohhhh this is all just perfect!!!!! Doin the 90's girl jig today I tell ya!!!

You wouldn't believe it!!

And I thought things were looking great when I did my last post .... since then ...

I got a phone call on the ambulance from my station manager on Thursday to say someone from Auckland was trying to contact me and gave me his details ...

It was the Auckland job application ... I was so nervous making the phone call back to him ...

My ambo partner was quietly squeeling in the background ... she had to pull over she was beside herself ...

"Congratulations!! you have been shortlisted for your Auckland job application! We were inundated with hundreds of applications and well done you've made it to the final 20! Congrats!!" He started ...

I had to take a deep breath ... I couldn't believe it!!!!

He then proceeded to tell me about the 8hr interview I'll be having on the 30th July ... yep you read right .... 8 hours!!!!! I have to be at Mt Wellington HQ at 8am and it's over at 5pm!! Ohh my friggen goodness!!!

Here's whats involved ...

- a 45minute driving exam in an ambulance, both suburbian and motorway
- map reading exam
- group lateral thinking scenario and individual assessment afterwards
- literacy exam
- clinical exam
- resusitation scenario
- phsyco and ethical analysis

and ....

A 45 MINUTE PHYSICAL!!! including a 1km run with 20kgs worth of gear to carry, 25 pressups in 1 minute, 45 situps in one minute, 45 step ups, and a whole lot more stuff ...

I got off the phone and the other officer (who calls a spade a spade) says "Right you have some phone calls to make ... ring Bill, now ring Pauline (my station manager) ... now listen ... you have 28 days left ... you have to pull your finger out of your ass and get out there walking and exercising and get back into losing some major weight girl!!! You have to do this, you are too good to miss out on this opportunity because of your fitness ... get out there and do it!!! Sorry to be so blunt but you know me I tell it like it is and someone has to say it.

I actually wasn't offended at all and thanked her for her honesty. She was exactly right!! It was the exact thing I needed to kick my ass into gear!

So I've put myself on a very strict regime for 28 days ... no starchy carbs at all!! Meat and vege for dinner and a protein shake for breakfast and lunch, snacks of fruit and 2 bottles of water. 30mins (at least) of exercise 6 days a week. I'm not a huge fan of protein shakes long term but I have to think about it like a body building working up to a competition ... I have to go hard and whatever works I HAVE to do ... I haven't got time to muck around ... I have 28 days!!! That's it!!

Here's my weights so far (have been weighing daily)

Thurs - 104.8kg
Friday - 103.6kg
Saturday - 102.7kg
Sunday - 101.5kg
Today - 100.9kg

Nearly 4kgs in 4 days!! ... I know I won't be able to keep losing at that rate ... but boy I have to do my damned best!!! I soooo want this job!!!!

Ohhh and Kathryn ... yes I would be very interested to find out more about that boarding opportunity!! I don't know (if I get the job) which station I'll be at and which area of Auckland but if you could get back to me with where they live for a start ...

I'm sooooo excited ... and nervous!!!

Back from AWOL land ...

I've been AWOL from bloggerland the last week. Well I haven't been totally not blogging just not publishing my posts and doing them in draft only. I've decided an the end of the week that I'm not actually going to publish them. It's nothing against you guys but I've had a seriously emotional week and dealing with a lot of very tender personal issues which I feel wouldn't be appropriate to put on here.

Now don't going worrying yourselves about me or my family - we're fine. To give you a basic outline - I went to a job last Wednesday that involved a suicide in which my ambo partner and I were first on scene and we were unsuccessful in reviving him and it really hit home because I knew him. St Johns were fanstastic and had a huge amount of support there for me both immediately after and over the next few days. It affected me big time causing me to have nausea and vomiting for a few days and tossing and turning at night. I think I'm working through it ok, however my emotional stress is nothing compared to what his wife and young kids have to deal with. My heart just goes out to her!!!

Next step is the funeral on Monday which might bring a few emotions back up again.

I found my eating was very minimal over the week as my stomach just couldn't face it. But I tried very hard to eat what I could to keep my energy levels up. I weighed in at 100.5kgs this week which is a good loss but a weighin post last Wednesday just seemed so insignificant with what happened that day. So I've chosen to leave it till today to post.

Now I've worked through some of the stuff (blogging privately helped alot with this) I'm back to 'normal' blogging again.

who needs 3 wishes, just 1 ... I want that job!!

Did my first day back counting points yesterday and must admit it gave me a huge sense of being in control again. I ended up having to eat on the run for dinner so as the person I was with was driving through KFC I decided on a Works burger for dinner. Obviously not my first choice in healthy nutrition. I guestimated at 8-9pts making me 1 or 2pts over for the day, not too bad I reasoned with myself.

This morning I looked up the KFC website to find that actually the works burger is infact only 4pts!!! I triple, quadrupally tested it ... yep only 4pts! So here I was feeling guilty about nothing! It actually meant I was under points by 4 for the day.

~~~

I've had the wonderful pleasure of being awarded the latest award going round by Linda and CactusFreek ... sounds like I'm describing a flu bug! haha! Not quite the same horrible side effects. Awww ... Thankyou guys ...

Now to pass it on ... given alot of my blogs I read have either stopped or gone private I've only chosen out of the public ones. There's so many wonderful blogs I could choose but have decided on these ones for their 'stickibility' ... that's what weightloss is about ... being in for the long haul and these three chicks I am commending for that!! Well done guys!!

So here's who I pass it onto ... Zanna, Hippygal, and Jen ...

Onto another day ... my day off in the shop so as usual I've jumped on the ambulance for the day. My job application closes off tomorrow so hopefully should hear back next week if I've made the short list ... so hope so! But of course not getting my hopes up too much ... who am I kidding??? My hopes are through the roof!!!

Did aliens take my patient????

We are still waiting to hear back from Bill's interview. Overall the store manager wanted to hire him, the 2IC was very insecure about him and they were offering a much lower salary than expected.



But I'm taking one day at a time and see what happens... will keep you posted :)



I had an ambo job at 1.30am this morning. I never do night jobs well ... it always takes about 10mins for my brain to kick into action.



On our way there COMMS came back saying two patients were at Waihi Police station so they reassigned our paramedic and one ambulance there and sent us (the other ambulance) to the scene to check there were no other occupants hidden, lost or abandaned at the scene.



When we got there we had a good look around the smashed up car and in the bushes, had a chat to the fire brigade and police and there didn't seem to be any patients unaccounted for.

I gave an update to COMMS ...

"We are R23 code 2"

Their reply ... "Sorry, Waihi Beach1 can you repeat that message!!!??!"

"We are R23 code 2 ... ohhhh ... ummm ... ooops ... sorry, correction ... (pause) ... we are R35!!! code 2"

I was so embarrased ... My boss's boss came on air next to say "Thankyou WaihiBeach1 you can stand down and return to station" with a chuckle in his voice ...

why was he (and everyone else listening to the radio) laughing???? ....

... because ... what I was supposed to say was ...

"R35 code 2" which means ...

R35 ... ambulance stand down ... code 2 ... patient gone by other transport

What I did say was ...

R23 ... PATIENT DEAD!!! code 2 ... and gone by other transport!!

I can't believe it did that!!! HOW EMBARRASING!! and infront of all those people!
Hmmm ... think I might be up for a blooper award on that one at the mid winter ambulance awards.

...

I'm very excited to say we are off for the weekend to go to Lee-Anne's wedding. Bill and I without the kids. The last time we went away without kids was ... I can't honestly remember!!

We've organised a babysitter to stay overnight with the kids, staff in the shop and my ambulance rosters to be covered... a big mission but we did it!!

Then we rang the babysitter to check we were all good for tomorrow and her reply "ohhh am I staying overnight??? I didn't know that ... ohhhh ..."

WTF???!!!??

We told her that at the start ... lucky Bill was on the phone to her not me. He was much more polite than I would have been!!

So yes to still do have a babysitter ... just as well!!!

We're off ... and boy do I need it!!!

Yay go Lee-anne!!!

Thankyou letter

Another 400g gone this week. Definately not complaining about this one, given I did indulge in a little bit of chocolate over Easter. Not huge amounts tho. What I did find was that the 4 or 5 easter eggs made me cave in to other temptations.

I'm definately an all or nothing personality, so when I slip up in one area I find it hard to keep tracking my food and stay OP. I know all the theory behind this and did manage to stay ontrack ... just. I guess my focus was gone this week.

But that's all good because this is the first day of a brand new tracking week for me and I managed to squeeze in with a loss. So what am I actually complaining about?? lol Not actually sure. Guess I need to refocus my motivation and give myself a kick up the butt and be grateful the scales were nice for the few indescretions.

Onto other news...

The shop was crazy busy over Easter! It was our biggest Easter yet, one day we were up by over $2000 for the day (compared to Easter Saturday last year). That definately helps ... ohh except for the fact that Bill paid $3000 to the wrong person last night on internet banking!!! A big $3000 whoopsie!!! The stupid bank wouldn't help us because we couldn't tell them our phone pin number! And of course he had to pay another $3000 to the CORRECT person ... I tell ya sometimes I think that man is a natural blonde under that dark cover!!

Ambulance has also be crazy busy over easter with so many people here at the beach. No major catastrophe stuff which is good. Been doing study this week (for my Nat Cert in Ambulance) on irregular heart rhythms and then recognised an odd ecg rhythm strip on a job and was able to query what heart condition she had. Very cool feeling to have my study actually come together on a job.

There was a letter this morning in the local paper from a patient I took to hospital (well it was the mother of the 18mth old patient) ... rather than reword it I'll type it in here for you ...

Volunteers' effort a priceless asset ...

This letter is dedicated to all the mainly volunteers who work for organisations who assist people within the Waihi area.

Our son has a severe condition where quick response from a doctor and St John is essential.

We are highly impressed and very thankful for the unselfish effort the people of Waihi/Waihi Beach put into this mainly volunteer work.

We were recommended to move closer to the hospital but we think we are better off living in Waihi where midical first aid is extremely professional, quick and effective.

Thankyou all very much to the people who support and help us.

A town is just as good as its inhabitants - Waihi rocks!!!

When people ask why I love ambulance so much .... this is why!!

The weighting game ...

Spent the day getting a warrant of fitness and service for my ambulance today. It took 11hrs!!! I ended up doing a milk run on the way back dropping off this and that, picking up this and that ... 7.30pm tonight I finally got home!!

Had a cool little moment at Ambulance Head Quarters ... the Paramedic that helped me on the spinal job I did last week walked in (without me noticing) and said in a loud voice to everyone "Ahhh, here's the best ambulance officer in Waihi Beach!!!" I smiled and chuckled quietly. Very 'feel cool moment'

Had an all time low weight on the scales this morning ... who knows what tomorrows weighin will bring. I've been OP all week but yesterday the scales were up 1.5kgs and today all time low. Hopefully they will stay low, but really don't know.

The Regional Support Officer came to the station the other day (my station managers boss) and said he'd heard about my job application and said I needed another patch on my arm before I could be considered for any job. He asked me if I was still enrolled to do 'nat cert' (next qualification) to which I replied yes. And he said "well wait until you've done that and then you can look at getting a paid position". At first I was pissed off but after thinking a bit about his response, took it as a compliment. Basically he said in short ... it's nothing against me 'when' I don't get the job, but it's purely that I don't have enough qualifications. I've since been told that St John has signed a contract with the DHB (district health board) that they will have an AO (ambulance officer qualification - 1 level above me) on every ambulance. Hence why they asked for that level in the job vacancy advert.

So at the end of the day I would love to prove him wrong and get the job, but won't take it personally if I don't get it. Simple case of wait and see what happens ... much like the scale results tomorrow ...

You'll be sadly missed - R.I.P

When I got my ambulance uniform over a year ago I was ashamed to admit that the largest belt they had did not fit me and I had to go home and drill another hole in the leather to get it around my waist. I hated that belt because it reminded me everytime I wore it, that I was fat!!

As the months went by my hated belt began stretching. But no, infact it wasn't the belt, but my waist shrinking. The day I could move the buckle to a 'real' hole and not my homemade one was celebrated. Then gradually as I moved the buckle in one hole at a time, I actually started to grow an attachment to this piece of leather. Where once it reminded me of my fatness, now it was pointing out my slimness. I would have a quiet smile to myself everytime I visited the restroom and did up my belt ... yep I am getting slimmer!! One year later I was finally on the smallest hole. A full movement of the buckle of 16cm!!

Yesterday some new uniform stocks came in along with belts. And in a moment of sadness I surrendered in my weightloss belt for a new smaller one. Yet it was also a proud, happy, excited moment of knowing what goals I could achieve this year and a wonder of how many more holes I could move it in.

So now the next step has started. I am back out to the biggest hole on a much smaller belt.

RIP fat belt ... you will be sadly missed

More exams and maybe an ambo job ...

I have been sending my brain in knots (is that actually a saying?? lol think not) the past 24hrs trying to get these animations showing up for you all. I just simply could not understand it! It was showing up perfectly on my screen yet not on others screens. I tried 50 odd ways of uploading it with no solution.

In the end this morning I tried on my computer downstairs and it showed up fine, but on the computers in the shop (paid internet) it didn't show. So for some reason it shows on some people's screens and not on others ... so ....

I did a google search and think I have the answer ... it's dependant on your browser security settings on every individual computer. Hmm, not sure that I can fix that one! lol ...

So ... if you can see the animation can you let me know ... if you can't (and want to) change your internet browser setting to 'allow animations'. As to where that is on each of your browsers I'm not totally sure, somewhere around the 'tools/internet settings' type area.

Ok onto other news ...

I had my next set of exams last night. That last lot I did (around 4wks ago) was the theory part of a new set of analgesias (pain relief medications) and last night was the practical assessment which I always find a little daunting... but I passed so all good!

And the other news ...

I'm applying for a job in Tauranga. Not sure if I've mentioned this before on here but basically our shop building is being demolished and rebuilt starting Feb 2009 and taking anywhere up to a year to complete. We we get a new shop in the new building which will be much better than this one that leaks and is falling to bits. The landlord has talked about compensation but we have to be wise and think of other work as we have 6 mouths to feed and a mortgage to pay...

so ... hence why I'm starting to apply for jobs. I know it's very early but of course I want an ambo job and they are few and far between. And I've been told you need to have your name come up often for them to notice you.

Originally I considered Auckland but is a little too far to commute (ambo is 2 day shifts/2 night shifts/4 days off). But will do what I need to do to get that elusive job. Then this one has come up in Tauranga... but ...

They require someone at AO level (one level higher than me and once I finished my Nat Cert this year I will be at AO level). It's a bit cheeky applying at a lower level but got to give it a try.

Spent yesterday doing up my CV and cover letter. My station manager has happily said she'll be a referee for me so that's nice.

I always hate doing cover letters, making yourself out to be the amazing perfect person, but I've gotta do it if I'm to get this job ...

It's a huge long shot but we'll see! I'll keep ya posted!

This one was hard to take ...

They say kids effect you the most. That once you've done an ambulance job involving a child you'll never look at ambo work the same. And while I understood the theory in this I never truly realised the full effect ... I'm now starting to.

I've done plenty of pretty full on ambo jobs, some very intense. And none of them have really bothered me afterwards. I've never lost any sleep, even with the cardiac arrest situations.

This has all changed. My past two nights have been filled with vivid wild dreams replaying the job I did on Saturday... over and over and over again. Saturday night I only slept until 3am and could not get back to sleep. Infact I cried a few tears until the sun came up. It has really effected me this one and even as I type I can feel my eyes well up.

I wasn't going to post about it, but felt myself slip into "I don't care about what I eat" mode yesterday and so in therapy for myself I want to blog this. I need to get it out and talk about it.

I'm actually confused as to why it has my mind in a spin. There is quite possibly going to be a very positive outcome for the patient so I should be overjoyed. I did everything right, so I should be proud, for some reason I'm not ... but he was a young, fit 18yr old with a zest for life. He wasn't a drunk driver, he wasn't speeding, he wasn't been a hoon or getting into a fight ...

... he was competing in the National Surf Lifesaving Championships ... he saved lives like us. And seeing the look on the faces of the other Surf Lifesavers helping one of their own will stick with me. And their looks of plead of wanting to know 'what next', wanting someone to fix him, to take back time and make it all better...

... and I couldn't ... I couldn't make him better.

On Thursday my station manager had asked me if I could cover the National Surf Lifesaving Championships at the beach on Saturday but meant I would be single crewed for it. "Sure" I said. I didn't anticipate much more than a few bumps and bruises. And if I did happen to have anything more serious Waihi Ambulance was only minutes away.

I'd been given instructions to be at the event in time for the official races at 12pm, but was ready early so decided to head down at 11am because I knew the practice runs had been going since 8am and I wanted to get my area set up beforehand.

I hadn't even gotten out of the ambulance when someone came up to my window. "There's someone in the first aid room who's hurt themselves". As I walked with my gear to help him I glanced at the sea ... it was huge!!! Ten foot waves!! I hadn't long finished helping this gentleman and getting him sent off on an ambulance when another came in, and with him a friend who asked if I could tape up his wrist. An old injury but it was giving him a bit of grief trying to row his boat. We had a chat about his surf lifesaving, I taped up his wrist and wished him goodluck for his races as he smiled and waved thanks.

The next hour or so was quiet so I ate my lunch and watched a few races. Then my surf lifesaving radio went off "Lyn! Lyn! We have someone injured coming in on an IRB up the northend of the beach!"

"Ok, I'm on my way"

I headed down the beach with my gear. "Hi I'm Lyn. What's been happening?" I started my usual introduction. "I can't move my legs!!! I can't move anything!!!!" He was panicking! I started assessing his injuries and called on my portable radio for Paramedic Backup, Second Ambulance and Westpac Rescue Helicopter and Fire Brigade! I'd never requested a chopper before, didn't really know how I was supposed to do it but hey who cares I'm sure COMMS can understand english. I gave them a quick description of what I had and then continued treating the patient. It was fantastic that I had so many helpers around me. After the initial assessment and set of vitals I deligated a lot of it ... you, can you continue to take a pulse every couple of minutes and yell it out to me. You, continue holding his head/neck. Can I get a full set of collars brought from the first aid room, and take someone else with you, I need a scoop stretcher. Just then an off duty ambo came out of the crowd. "Thank God!" I told her. Can you grab me the scoop straps out of the ambulance. You, I'd like you to just keep talking to him and make sure he's alert, tell me at any stage if he become drowsy. You, can you take his resps for me every few minutes and yell them out to me... and so it went on. Everyone worked like a team and took their job seriously. We got him collared, scooped, wrapped in thermal blanket and transported into the back of a ute (for warmth and privacy, and eventually transport to the chopper) I had someone else cordon off part of the beach, get everyone out of the water there in preparation for the chopper.

An intensive care nurse came out of the crowd to ask if I needed help. I told her "Great! Thanks! This is what we have and this is what I've done, can you see anything I've missed?" She made the suggestion of getting the bagmask out in preparation of respiratory arrest (which we didn't need) and that was it. "Thankyou so much" I told her.

When the Paramedic and Second crew turned up (what seemed like an eternity later) the look on my face must have totally shown them how I felt. It was a look of "THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE!!" I gave my hand over to the Paramedic, he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye and said in a calm quiet voice "It's okay, you've done everything right". That was just what I needed to keep myself going. I helped the Paramedic getting fluids set up and started on the paperwork. I noticed the Paramedic cutting off some tape off his wrist and that's when I clicked ... it's the same guy!! My heart sank!

It was at that moment that I actually looked up and noticed the hundreds and hundreds of people all standing round us and tv cameras (was on TV1 news and apparently will be in Piha Rescue later). I chose to ignore that fact and kept going. Someone came up to me and said "we have another back injury coming in on that IRB and a lady with a fractured ankle in the first aid room". It was at that moment that I nearly lost it. "you have got to be kidding me!!!" Nup! Then I looked up and saw the guy step out of the IRB and start walking up the sand. What a site for a sore ambulance officers eyes!! Yes! He's walking! So I sent off the off duty officer to check them out while we continued with our patient.

We got him loaded onto the chopper along with his mum and off they went and we turned around and walked away. The walk back to the surfclub rooms was really, really weird, like something out of a movie. The Paramedic and I silently walking side by side almost as if in slow motion and the crowd parted ahead of us, with the chopper lifting behind us. There was complete silence from the crowd ... really weird.

I left that day on a complete high but sad not knowing what happened to him and knowing the potential risk he had of never walking again let alone being a lifeguard.

As I am typing this the Bay of Plenty Times has just arrived and it's on the front page! He's ok!! OHHH MY GOD HE'S OK!!! That is the best news!!! He's been released from hospital. He had a neck/upper back injury that caused the spinal cord to swell and be bruised, causing the paralysis and as the swelling went down so did his ability to move.

This is the article here ... for those who want to read it.

As I started typing this post this morning it was a sad one, so sad I had to stop and refinish it the afternoon ... and now look how it's turned hey? lol

Life! you just never know what's round the corner!

Almost 4hrs late!

The family and I went to a potluck bbq last night along with about 20 others. It started at 5pm so me and the kids went along first with Bill following after 7pm. I was still on duty till 7pm so had to go in uniform.

I'd only been there about 20mins when sure enough the pager went off. So I had to run out the door leaving my poor friend to babysit my kids till I got back or Bill arrived. I let them know I should be back in around an hour.

I got back from my job just after 7pm and was sitting in the ambulance filling about paperwork. Wrote the form out that says I'm taking the truck off the road and just about the make the phone call (now 7.20pm when my shift finished at 7pm) ... and couldn't believe it ... beep, beep, beep!! Bloody Sabastian (the COMMs operater for our area) had dropped another job on me! I was never gonna make it to the potluck dinner.

8.20pm I finished that job and the first thing to do when I got back in the ambulance ... ring that rascal Sabastian and tell him MY SHIFT IS OVER!! lol And what do I find?? No reception on my mobile ... unbelieveable! So no paperwork finishing off just yet, off I drove back home and as soon as I found mobile coverage I pulled the ambulance over on the side of the road to take me off. I told Sabastian he was cunning and dropped another job on me before I could take it off the road. He laughed an evil laugh in reply. Cheeky bugger!!

So I walked in the bbq at 8.45pm ... almost 4hrs late!! The good side was that by the time I got there people had stopped eating the nibbles (chips and dip, cheese and crackers) and made it easier for me to resist them. Not one eaten! Dinner I just had the salads, corn cob and grilled courgettes. No meat. A friend saw me writing something on my hand and I told her it was my points for dinner and one stroke for every bourben I have. She couldn't believe that even on a night out I still count points. Sure! I have a very bad habit of having a couple of drinks and forgetting what I eat or drink afterwards. This way I didn't forget.

And this morning on writing in my points on my tracker I was spot on ... with 0.5pt to spare even ... wahoo!!

A life was saved ...

I don't like to make a practice of talking about my ambo jobs on here because of privacy issues. But this one is very special to me and I won't be mentioning any names or private details to identify the person.

I woke up this morning and decided to do a full simulated check on our defibrillator (shock machine) and put fresh batteries in it. It hadn't been used all week so theoretically could have got away without doing it ... but that gut feeling told me to do it anyway.

Just before midday the pager went off and I saw it was chest pain. Normally this would make my heart race, knowing the potential danger... but today it didn't. I remained calm and quickly headed out the door towards the ambulance, picked up my partner on the way and got there in no time flat.

Walking in I got a brief history of what lead up to him calling an ambulance and on taking the vitals he seemed fine. But ... his description of chest pain he felt left me with an uneasy feeling. On giving an update to COMMS I listened to my gutt feeling and called for an Advanced Paramedic. As we gave him oxygen his pain level disappeared and as the second ambulance turned up I started to think I was being extreme on calling for backup.

The paramedic arrived and I did a handover to him. Then the patient felt like being sick so I reached for an emesis bag and as I did so I heard the paramedic say "He's arresting" ... For the last year I have been doing test after test, study after study on how to deal with this situation... and here I was dealing with it in person ... here... now!! ... No time to panic or fumble!! I had to get it right!!! The next few moments were a blur ... I reached for the bagmask, someone asked for scissors which I grabbed from my pouch ... someone was doing compressions, another pulling out defib pads and putting them on the patient. I was asked for an OP airway (piece of equipment I'm not going to go into here) which I tried to put in but couldn't because of body functions, so was asked for naseopharangeal airway... grabbing for what I thought was it, hoping like heck it was it... yep I got it right... handed it over ... then I heard "he's coming back! Yep we have a pulse!!!" The next few minutes were relief and panic and ... oh my friggen goodness ... I can't believe all that happened!!

My absolutely feel good moment was when the wife said from the front passenger seat "he's talking!!!" And the look she gave me of complete relief ... that was it, that was the moment that made that last year of hard study worth it all!!! No more gratification was needed, that one look did it for me!!!

I then had to drive the Paramedic's car behind the ambulance to the hospital 40minutes away with flashing lights and a few hairy moments with cars both sides of the road and us going down the middle.

He made it to the hospital ... oh my God I saved someone's life today ... like REALLY saved them ... if I hadn't listened to my gutt feeling of calling for backup one person might not be here tonight!!!

Yep still here!

Just a quick update to let you all know I'm alive and well. We had a great Christmas with Mum and Dad, my younger brother, his fiancee and us. Ate way too much. Thought I was doing fine after lunch with my intake but then a new meal was served up for dinner and skipped on dessert. Was all very point friendly but just ate way too much of it. Went to bed feeling really uncomfortable. Tried to blame it on the grapes I ate in the afternoon making me gassy ... but no I think I just ate too much!

The last few days have been crazy!!! The crowds arrived yesterday and we've been run off our feet. And ambulance shifts have been crazy too. Not sure how much longer I can keep up the pace but taking it one day at a time. Bill must be getting tired too cause he's cranky!!!

But I'm not complaining, at least the money is coming in the till to get us through winter and I'm getting some good hands on experience with my ambo work.

Lee-anne tooted as she drove past the shop the other day. I didn't get who it was till after she'd passed ... so if you're reading this Lee-anne ... HI!!!! And hope to catch up for a coffee while you're still here.

Hope everyone else had a good Christmas! Not weighing in this week ... my one week off weighin for the year. Food hasn't been pointed out but watching what I eat and certainly getting lots of exercise running behind that counter!!

I'll catch you all in the New Year if I don't get a chance to update again before then!!!

Put your foot down... how fast can you go??!!

Thanks for all your wonderful compliments!!

Bill reckons his gain this week was due to constipation!! And now (apparently) his bowels have started working again. So he reckons he'll be in for a good loss next week and leave me for dust! Bring it on I say!!

The challenge is going to be tight this next week. I have TTOM arriving soon and I always struggle with food choices the week before. I seem to be forever hungry and craving sugary bad food. I have a plan set in place with lots of easy meals organised that I don't have to think about.

Oooooh!! And I forgot to tell ya about my ambo shift on the weekend. I did my first P1 drive (lights and sirens) with a patient in the back. Normally we only have lights going on the way to a job and not after picking the patient up... unless the patient is REALLY sick. This P1 drive was from Waihi to Waikato Hospital (1.5hrs away) travelling at around 130kms!!! Trying to keep it smooth and steady because we had up to 4 people in the back working on the patient. Very tricky thing to do, drive fast but not swing everyone around the corners. Got a compliment back from the Hamilton Advanced Paramedic that I did really good on my driving. At a couple of bends I threw some people off balance so to hear back that it was a difficult drive coped with very well was great.

It's also the first time I've seen a true 'resus' team set up at the hospital. We were ushered through some double doors and greeted by 8-10 people gloved up and ready to go. Watching them work in such a synchronised way was mind blowing. Each person had their job and even though they were working in such a confined space no one got in anyone's way. Absolutely awesome to watch!

Ambulance work is starting to wind up at the moment with more jobs and jobs more serious. It's amazing the effect Christmas has on society. There is more stress, meaning more sickness, more tension, meaning people are making silly mistakes. Less money, meaning people are not going to the doctors for minor things and waiting till they turn major. And generally more people around this area with some towns growing ten times their winter population.

Wonder what next is round the corner?