They're calling .. "eat me! eat me!"

Having a real down day today. I'm fortunate not to have too many of these (and no it's not TOM for me). Having to force myself not to emotionally eat.

I bought a Toblerone chocolate bar from the snack box at the station today. I spent a good few minutes going through each thing working out the best value for points, made my decision, put my money in the slot and then decided to have my lite yoghurt first. And just in the nick of time a friend offered me half of her sub sandwich thingy that she couldn't finish. At first I said no (don't like taking food from others) and she persuaded me to have it saying she was going to throw it away otherwise. So I reluctantly agreed. Lucky tho, because after that and the yoghurt I didn't need the chocolate anymore.

Now just have to get through the rest of the day ... ohh and tomorrow, oohh and the next day!! hahah!

Almost 4hrs late!

The family and I went to a potluck bbq last night along with about 20 others. It started at 5pm so me and the kids went along first with Bill following after 7pm. I was still on duty till 7pm so had to go in uniform.

I'd only been there about 20mins when sure enough the pager went off. So I had to run out the door leaving my poor friend to babysit my kids till I got back or Bill arrived. I let them know I should be back in around an hour.

I got back from my job just after 7pm and was sitting in the ambulance filling about paperwork. Wrote the form out that says I'm taking the truck off the road and just about the make the phone call (now 7.20pm when my shift finished at 7pm) ... and couldn't believe it ... beep, beep, beep!! Bloody Sabastian (the COMMs operater for our area) had dropped another job on me! I was never gonna make it to the potluck dinner.

8.20pm I finished that job and the first thing to do when I got back in the ambulance ... ring that rascal Sabastian and tell him MY SHIFT IS OVER!! lol And what do I find?? No reception on my mobile ... unbelieveable! So no paperwork finishing off just yet, off I drove back home and as soon as I found mobile coverage I pulled the ambulance over on the side of the road to take me off. I told Sabastian he was cunning and dropped another job on me before I could take it off the road. He laughed an evil laugh in reply. Cheeky bugger!!

So I walked in the bbq at 8.45pm ... almost 4hrs late!! The good side was that by the time I got there people had stopped eating the nibbles (chips and dip, cheese and crackers) and made it easier for me to resist them. Not one eaten! Dinner I just had the salads, corn cob and grilled courgettes. No meat. A friend saw me writing something on my hand and I told her it was my points for dinner and one stroke for every bourben I have. She couldn't believe that even on a night out I still count points. Sure! I have a very bad habit of having a couple of drinks and forgetting what I eat or drink afterwards. This way I didn't forget.

And this morning on writing in my points on my tracker I was spot on ... with 0.5pt to spare even ... wahoo!!

Yes I do talk to myself ...

I've spent the last few days sick with aches and fever. Glad to finally be on the mend again. My cat also had a fever with an absess and had to have it lanced by the vet. We're both feeling alot better today.

I don't make a very good patient. I started coming right yesterday afternoon but still just wanted comfort food. I made the decision in my head to have a large bag of potato chips. I chose the one I wanted and took them upstairs ... Bluebird Salt and Vinegar ... just about to open them ... mind games going on in my head. I deserved them with the stress and sickness I've had to endure ... yeah but who are you punishing? yourself? ... but they'll taste so good ... but you'll feel so sick afterwards ... I don't care about that ... I just want to feel good now! ... comon! You know you shouldn't!! Think of how you'll feel on weighin day if you don't have them!! ...

So I put them down ... and marched straight into the kitchen and cooked up some popcorn. Really didn't taste quite the same but I felt so proud of myself. And this morning I had an all time low on the scales. I have a feeling it won't last this low till weighin but still nice all the same.

Not going down without a fight!!!

A Farmers Market ... what is it??

"Food market where local growers, farmers and artisan food producers sell their wares directly to consumers" ... sound's good? Sure!! If you're a consumer! But what about if you're a produce supplier only 100m down the road!!

That's what someone had decided they were doing here in Waihi Beach. A big part of our turnover is our well priced produce. As you can tell we were not happy when the organiser asked us to put a poster up in the window advertising the regular event in a couple of weeks. We asked if we were allowed a stall and was given a definate "No!".

My normal instinct no matter how upset I am about a situation is to just let it go. But Bill wasn't having a bar of it. Initially I tried to calm him down and just let be what will be. But soon realised he wasn't going to let it slide. If I couldn't beat him I had to join him.

Bill rang the council to get an investigation into our rights. We were told they would look into the matter. According to the man we spoke to he was under the impression that each stall holder needed to hold a hawkers license.

In the meantime we spoke to some of the other retailers who agreed with us in our concerns. It just seemed so unfair that we as retailers had withstood the hard toil of winter drought and when the people arrived someone decided they'd set up a market and take the harvest. We had to pay so many overheads just to survive ... lease, rates, power, wages... the list goes on. Along with the retailers was the owner of the Four Square supermarket across the road. Up until now we had a purely professional relationship with the Four Square, nothing more. But on realising they were feeling the same about the situation we set up a meeting with them. They contacted the Foodstuffs representative after Bill told him of the Otara New World going bust when the Otara Farmers Market started up.

On top of this ... they were going to ask for funding from the Community Board!! A community board that is funded by our rates!!! This added insult to injury!! They were planning to doing a presentation to the Board at 6.30pm tonight. Bill had planned a big speal to say along with alot of other retailers, who had signed a petition we set up.

At 3pm this afternoon Bill rang the council to find out their progress in the matter. According to the investigator at the council they had every right to have the market given that it's a commercial zone, but that the organisers were in the process of cancelling the event due to opposition.

So it's finally over ... it's not going ahead. I understand their thinking about having a market but I don't think they thought through the full extent that this could have on the town. While it may have brought people in, the majority of the money would be going elsewhere and it had the huge potential of shutting down retailers like ourselves and others in the town which has to be a bad thing. The less shops, the less products offered for sale, the less money going back into the community.

And the good thing with this???? (other than the fact that we don't have a big confrontation on our hands?) I didn't comfort eat!!! I stuck to points infact saving some points in the process.

What will today bring??

Had a really stressful day yesterday. I had an interview to do for a new ambulance volunteer in the morning till 11am, then a meeting with the station manager, myself and another lady to go over my new role as Team Leader for First Response at Waihi Beach till 2pm then raced home and worked in the shop from 2pm till 4pm. Then an internet meeting with my brother in China via msn from 4pm till 5pm. And that's when the dog doodles hit the fan, when my brother informed me he wanted a 15pg full colour catalogue designed for him by next week!!! That information in itself would have been ok but combining it with all the other bits of stress from the day I went into "I can't deal with this!!" mode.

The good thing was I didn't blow out with food and still managed to stay ontrack with points. I think the other thing that was playing on my brain was my ambulance shift today. This day last week I'd had an extremely full on shift with 4 out of 5 jobs being potentially life threatening. At the time I thought I coped with it well and didn't have too much after effect on my emotions, or so I thought. But last night I just kept thinking "I can't deal with another day like last Friday". It showed me that even tho I thought I was okay about it all I did really effect me.

It will help if today is a nice quiet shift with a couple of nice easy 'safe' jobs to get my confidence back.

Was bummed out to see my weight up on the scales this morning (official weighin tomorrow). I've been such a good girl all week, sticking to my points. But I do know I started a bit of exercise and that ALWAYS slows things down for me. My conscience is clear, I know I've done it all right so if the scales decide differently that's the scales fault ... not mine!!

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

How much is a loss worth??

With knowing for weeks that I had this practical exam Bill chose to go fishing yesterday!! Grrr!! Meaning I was working on my feet all day in the shop and by 2pm my ankle had blown up like a balloon. I needed to get it elevated before my exam at 7pm! He walked in at 2.20pm and I asked him how long he would be. "Won't be long, just have to fillet the fish" He said. One hour and forty minutes later I was still working!! By 4pm I was in such a foul mood and yes a few of those unspeakable words came out of my mouth (under my breath of course). So when the staff arrived I took off to the station without a word to Bill. (He did apologise later saying it took him that long to fillet the 45 fish they got ... yep 45!!!)

When I got to the station I was so hoping mad, I went straight up to the evil snack box! What's the most wicked thing I can eat??? I put my money in the box for a bag of salt and vinegar chips. By the time I came down the stairs I realised what I was doing. Light bulb moment!!! I eat when I'm angry!! Not out of comfort but a need to punish someone. Punishing myself wasn't the answer and put the chips down on the coffee table. I grabbed the keys and went down to the local subway and bought myself a 6" sub and vegetarian salad instead. I did it! I recognised the trigger and stopped it! Half an hour later I put the chips back in the snack box even tho I couldn't get my money back. My weightloss this week is worth far more than $1.50!!

Three of us sitting at the station waiting to do our practical assessment and what happens?? The pager goes off and with it goes one of our assessors and the 'actor patient' ... off to a job! So a last minute ring around and we manage to get someone else to fill in.

Half an hour after we were supposed to start we finally get our assessments underway. Meanwhile our nervousness had shot through the roof. Lucky for all of us our assessor was a really laid back guy which made things more relaxing.

We were all marked on our questioning, assessment of a patient and patient care. It's always alot harder in a 'make believe' scenario than on the road, not sure why. Maybe because we know there is someone watching us, making sure we do it right and maybe because it's hard to actually feel like it's real.

After a quick 'paper, scissors, rock' I was second in turn. My scenario ... 48yr old male with unrelieved chest pain and no cardiac history. Nervousness took over a little meaning I couldn't find the ecg dots in the pack and put them on the wrong way. I didn't want to rip them and 100 hairs off the patient to reposition them so took the opportunity as 'senior officer' to tell my junior to 'fix it' while I kept questioning the patient. Don't you love delegation? My assessor had a chuckle when he told me he noticed my mistake. The only other thing I did wrong was not getting the oxygen on quick enough. But other than that I passed!!! wahooo!!!

Then last night was my first shift back onboard ... and what did I get for my first job at 2am??? Unrelieved cardiac chest pain with no cardiac history! lol and what was one of the first things I did?? Put oxygen on of course!! heheh Won't make that mistake again! The job went without a hiccup thanks to my 'practice run' earlier in the night!!

Back into bed around 3.30am, couldn't sleep much with a little too much adrenalin pumping round my body. Takes a bit to get back into the swing of things with having 6wks off. Then the alarm went off at 5.15am, up and getting ready for my day shift at Waihi Station.

A little nervous today. I'm senior officer with a newbie onboard. I'm sure all will be fine. Last night was a good kick start back into it. And so glad to be back!!!

Weighin tomorrow morning and waiting to see what my $1.50 weightloss will be ... heheh!

I'm fried ... but not deepfried

I have my pre-entry exam tomorrow night for National Certificate (ambulance). So I've spent the day today at the station going over everything I've learnt so far. I think I have it all covered. Trying not to stress too much about it.

I didn't plan ahead enough tho. I took some water, an apple and a banana with me, figuring I'd go out and buy me some lunch. But I got away from home later than I'd planned and didn't want to 'waste' precious study time buy going down to shop. I'd eaten my banana and apple and by 1pm I was so ravenously hungry that I decided I needed food NOW!! I felt like I was going to faint. So unfortunately I gave in to the dreaded 'snack box' ... grrrrr!!

The good part was that I still pointed the packet of chips and licorice I ate. And I have a chance to work it back at dinner tonight.

Not much else ... my brain is fried! Does anyone know how many bonus points study earns?

Shmokin!!

My great aunty (aged 82yrs) sadly died on Sunday so today I travelled down with my sister and brother in law to New Plymouth for her funeral. Was good catching up on all our news. It was our first proper catchup (other than phone calls and txts) since the funeral of her boys 3mths ago. Wow, can't believe how quickly time has flown by! My bro in law couldn't believe how much two chicks could talk ... continuously for the 3hr trip there and back ... hey we had a lot to catch up on!

I am SO back on track it's fantastic ... I'm on fire again ... finally!! Been months since I was excited about losing weight. I started off the day with a light brekkie (choc up & go 1pt) to allow for those funeral 'must eats to fit in and fill in time' foods while politely sipping tea and telling all the other great aunties how well we are doing ... my favourite scenario ... NOT! Don't get me wrong I love them all but repeating the same thing over and over is not my cup of tea.

Anyway, backtracking a bit ... calling into a cafe for lunch I had everything under control seeing a 'lightly seared scallops served on a lettuce salad' choice on the menu. I reiterated to the waitress (very politely of course) that I needed the scallops cooked in as little oil as possible. She assured me that wouldn't be a problem ... ehemm ... on receiving our lunch (40mins later!!) it was DRIPPING WITH OIL!! Not just the scallops but the 'salad' (bowl of lettuce with a few slices of tomato) was dripping so much that the lettuce had gone see-through!! Yuck!! I ate the scallops and a quarter of the lettuce and left the rest! But it was marginally better than my sisters lunch ... a chicken fillet burger with the fillet still RAW in the middle!!! (she put it down as soon as she realised).

The funeral was very sweet, she lived a wonderful fulfilled life and was a dag of a lady!!! I did very well at the funeral with all the food around me to temp me considering my growling tummy!! I consumed only 3 mini club sandwiches.

Then on the way home had a vege salad (no cheese) and lamb 6inch sub ... yummo!! All fitting in my points for the day ... ohhh and I tried the new 'fling' choc bar ... boy oh boy are they good!!! And only 3.5pts for the whole thing or 2pts for 1 of the twin bars. Quite low in points ... but dangerous!!!




For those of you wondering how my foot is going ... here's a pic ...


I meet with the surgeon tomorrow to check how it's going. I'm secretly hoping he'll give me clearance to go back on the ambulance. Infact I have my hopes set so high, I'm taking my uniform in the car and if I get the go ahead will go onto duty after the 10.15am appointment ... fingers crossed!!

I need to bottle this mojo ... or even better find the recipe, and give it out to everybody!!!

have I undone all my hard work???

Been dreading this moment for quite a few weeks now. Infact totally put it out of my head because I just didn't want to face the music. I knew it would be bad!!

I haven't stepped on those scales for over 6wks!!! For the past few days I felt like I was back up to 122kgs again! Pants getting tight on me again, and that familiar FAT feeling! And last night when I didn't stop dreaming about being fat all night, I knew I had to do something about it ... it was sending my brain in circles!!

I had brief thoughts of going back on plan for a week or so, then getting on those stupid scales ... get a grip girlfriend!! I needed to get it sorted NOW not in a weeks time ... NOW!!

So first thing @ 6.15am I got up to DO IT!! Of course doing my morning toilet stop first! :)

Yep it was definately a gain ... but no I wasn't up to 122kgs again ... THANK GOODNESS!! 110.9kgs ...yep I can deal with that, considering my naughtiness I think I got off pretty lightly!!

So ... yep I'm back ontrack this morning, starting off with bacon, poached egg, baked beans (all 5.5pts) ... good girl I am ... breakfast is my biggest downfall ... don't often have it unless I'm ontrack. Have my water out, and gonna resist those lollies, chips and icecreams!!!

we have connection!!

We have internet connection again ... finally!!! I think the problem was a power surge to our modem. The computer is on a surge protector but the modem wasn't. We ended up ordering a replacement modem from telecom but got a wireless one this time, so I am currently sitting in the lounge on my laptop doing my update without any cords!!!! Oh the bliss!! Our other computer has always been in the shop so after shop is closed no more internet. To be able to update at anytime anywhere will be great! And hopefully means more updates for you guys.

On a sad note I might have to say goodbye to my smileys! :(

My new laptop is an apple mac and unfortunately smileycentral doesn't work with apple macs ... boo hoo!!! Have to have a think on this one.

On the eating side ... I did well all day till after dinner and I gave in and had a magnum white ... damn those magnums!!! Maybe I should do a challenge thingee and see how many days I can go without a magnum and reward myself at the end with a BOX OF MAGNUMS!!! juuuust kidding!!

I went to my piglets playgroup for official weighin today and recorded a weight of 108kg, the same as at home yesterday ... although ... I was stark naked on the scales yesterday and today's weight was fully dressed ... so that means it musta come down a little. But I'm not going to get too pedantic about it.

I'm off to catchup on everyone's blogs and find out what I've been missing out on.

Just got back

SUNDAY ...

I've just gotten back from my ambulance course and loved it! (as always) Pretty tired! I realised when I was at the course that I forgot to post Friday's update. I had typed it all out but got called out on a job and had to rush out, then didn't get back to station till 7.30pm, so it didn't get published. So putting it up now for you. Sorry, better late than never I guess.

Bill informed me when I got home on Friday night that we had a virus on our computer ... grrrr!!!! So much for Nortons doing it's job!! I haven't had a chance to look at it yet, hopefully I can sort it out! Don't worry I'm doing this update from the station.

Anyway here's Friday's update ... I'll fill you in more on the weekend when I get a chance.

FRIDAY ...

Did ya like my bit of humour? Chris asked me if I'd had my 'big event' yet so thought I'd do a bit of photoshop work. Unfortunately I'm one of those unlucky people who doesn't have a flash big event, just lots and lots and LOTS of little events... heheh

Had another busy day on duty today and attended my first death. Although fortunately I didn't have to see the body as the police were already on scene when we arrived and stood us down as we got into the house, due to the fact that he'd been deceased for too long to warrant resuscitation. I still don't know how I will react on having my first patient die. Everyone responds differently to do and St Johns has a great support service for us if we feel we need to get counselling with anything.

Onto my colon cleanse ... It was supposed to be my last set of 40 capsules to take this morning but given the fact that I could have been away from a toilet for up to 3hrs at a time on the ambulance I postponed the last lot till tonight. In the instruction booklet they say this is ok. So as of 6pm tonight I will be officially cleansed! :o)

My ambulance partner and I had to back up Paeroa today and I had previously planned on having a subway salad for lunch. But I soon learnt there is no subway in Paeroa! So a bakery was the nearest thing I could find. For the first time in 9 days I had something other than fruit/veges/yoghurt ... a chicken/salad wrap. Initially I was disappointed but realised the choice was out of my hands and I still made a good choice in spite of the dilemma. I chose a wrap instead of a bread roll so that has to be good enough. Was either that or starve, which is not an option.

Tomorrow and Sunday I'm off to Mount Maunganui for my ambulance PRD (professional role development) course where I will learn all about work stress, grief, cultural awareness and NZ law. In the service it's known as the 'tree hugging course'. There's no exam at the end of this one, just a 60hr written assignment!! (to be done in 3mths)

All our food and accomodation is supplied so that's very nice although might be a bit tricky with food choices. I will just have to do the best I can with what is supplied.

Once my written assignment is finished and I pass I get my next patch (on my ambulance sleeve) Primary Care 2 ... very flash!! Which leaves me 'ambulance officer', 'paramedic' and 'advanced paramedic' to achieve. Each of which takes at least a year to obtain. Something to strive for.

As I put my ambulance uniform on this morning I needed to go to the next hole on my belt ... hole number 6!!! Yeeehawww!! And my final hole ... next will have to be a new belt! I feel very chuffed about that!!

So I'll be back on Monday to update again on how my course went, and more importantly ... the food choices I made. I'll try my best to be a good girl ... promise!!!

Hit the wall!

Nup - scales didn't give a tosser how good I was yesterday! lol

I had a fleeting thought of running for the hills, never to be seen again rather than posting this gain. But alas I must face the fact that Chris is right ... I was a piss head on the weekend!! And now I must pay the price by posting my gain on here ... I guess it's called accountability.

wait for it ... (mumbles under her breath like a teenager been caught redhanded) ...

... 3.1kg GAIN!!! OMFG!!! lol!!! I have to laugh at it because I have NEVER gained that much in one weighin ... hahaha!!! But it does give some sort of hint how much of a good time I had and how much I didn't care about the points I was consuming!! Well until now that is.

I was the most perfect weightwatchers girlyswat all day yesterday, not a foot wrong ... that was until Bill pissed me off. I can't even remember what he said and I don't even think it was that bad ... but I think the PMT that kicked in mid afternoon made it seem like the world was ending, so OF COURSE I had to have a Magnum Icecream, after being so good all day!! Pffft yeah good one!

So my plan for today is to be the good girl girlyswat ... AND ... NOT consume any icecreams ... damn pmt!!!

confession time ... again!!

I totally threw all my toys outa the cot!!! I haven't thrown that much of a tantrum in a very long time. I'm talking eating tantrum here as much as I'm ashamed to admit it!! :)

Things had been winding me up all day. Just silly little things from all sorts of people. And for the most part I let it go over my head. I'm a pretty laid back kinda person who doesn't like conflict. So rather than saying right back to each person that bugged me I would bury it, pretending it didn't matter.

Then in the afternoon I had a senior ambulance officer come in the shop. We were chatting about my job the other night and she asked me why I didn't do a certain thing. When I told her I didn't have time before the other team arrived she got ... hmmm ... how to word this ... assertive?? with me ... telling me it wasn't good enough. Now what she said was right, I should have done what she said but there were lots of other factors involved that complicated the matter ... and I didn't appreciate how she said it nor the fact that it was done in my shop.

Anyway ...

I immediately paged Bill to ask for a break (so I could clear my head) but he was busy. That was it!! I grabbed the biggest, fattiest, baddest packet of chips I could find and I went to the back of the shop and I shoved them in my mouth!! Did I really want them? Nup! Did I need them? Nup! Was I hungry? Nup! Why did I do it? Hmmm don't really know... to punish someone?? maybe ... only punishing myself tho ... duhhhh!!!

So there ya have it ... my silly episode. It's not gonna stop me carrying on. I remember back to last time when I had an absolute BLOWOUT!! Here ... but I still got to goal anyhow. So onwards and downwards ... silly tart that I am!!!

Another day at the station

Let's hope I'm not this stupid on ambo today. This guys gotta make anyone look good!!

I didn't do an update yesterday because nothing really happened to talk about and it's the same today but I'm doing like Tania and making sure I update regularly as it keeps me focused. So unfortunately for you guys it's going to be a boring post of blah! blah! blah! :)

This is my 4th day back 100% ontrack. But it's my first day back at ambo, on track. This poses to be a problem. There are a couple of things I find hard while on station.

• the worst one is that I use the ww online journal to track my food. And the last couple of weeks ww has upgraded to Flashplayer 9 instead of 8. The station computer only has flashplayer 8 and I can't upgrade it until I find someone with admin login to do it. So basically means I can't track by computer while on duty. I can do it manually on paper but I get lazy and don't bother. I guess this one's solved by time, once I get someone to get flashplayer 9 going it will be fine.



• Second issue is my lack of time to eat and drink. Ambulance duty is bizarre in that one day we can be bored silly with nothing to do all day and others I'm run off my feet, often not even getting back to station before the pager goes off again. The amount of adrenalin pumping on these days means I forget to eat and drink. I often leave the station at the end of the day with a massive headache purely from not eating or drinking enough. I try to solve this by carrying with me fruit and a water bottle but when your focus is elsewhere sometimes this doesn't even work. It's not like I'm going to say to a dying patient "hang on a minute on that CPR, I forgot to have my morning tea!!" lol



• Then there's the snack box. For some stupid reason someone decided to get a fully laden, point filled, dripping with saturated fat snack box at the station!!!! I have to stare at it everytime I go to make a coffee! I seem to be the only person on station that is even aware of fat content! I think this one's just a matter of determination.



• Normally I'm not a big coffee drinker. Maybe one coffee every 2 or 3 days, but on station that changes big time. It's all part of the initiation process ... one of the rules "must be big coffee drinker!" ok so maybe not literally but it's not long before the habit consumes you. Coffee in itself isn't a huge thing, but when I'm not drinking enough water either. That combination can mean major fluid retention. And forget the hot water, herbal tea thing ... can't do it!!

I guess I'm being pretty pedantic with these things and really they're not major problems but they do play up with me being on track. Most weeks after not being 100% ontrack at ambo it slips into the next day and the next and before I know it I'm being slack arse again. So I guess in this post I'm trying to make myself aware of what I need to focus on to keep me on track. As they say being aware of a problem is 99% of the way in solving it.

Now just to focus on the 1% of the solution.

Get into line Woman!!!

I knew it would happen ... 700g gain this week, weighing in at 109.9kgs. Although without hopping on the scales at all this week I thought it would be more. Why? Because I did almost everything wrong this week.

• Didn't track
• Didn't drink water
• Didn't exercise, at all!
• Drank too much alcohol
• Ate two pies in one day to survive a hangover
• Ate at McD's for breakie one morning
• Had pastry savouries for super at ambo training
• And had them again as leftovers on station during ambulance duty
• Had full smorgasboard including roast veges, ham, creamy cauli but declined on dessert
• Chicken and chips for dinner one night

You name it I did it. Wow looking at that list I definately came off light on the scales!! lol But that's ok, it's gone now, damage is done. Can't change history I can only change the present so for the present I'm getting back into it. Starting right now!!

Party! What party?

I totally lost the plod yesterday!! Don't know what happened but for the first time since I started back at ww in February I didn't track, I ate, didn't drink my water, didn't exercise and just blobbed on the couch all day!! What's wrong with me??

I usually struggle on weekends but manage to pull back the reigns on myself. Yesterday I just didn't seem to care. I didn't eat bad food but just ate too much of it. I did a rough calculation and I think I consumed somewhere round the 30-35pt mark ... bad, bad, bad!!

The plot hasn't been lost totally. Today I'm back into it. I think for this weeks weighin I'll be having a gain and for the first ... a deserved gain!! It's ok, all is not lost. I won't be putting on all 11kgs that I've lost ... well let's hope not!! lol

Lee-anne and I met for coffee on Saturday and she is absolutely lovely!! And yes Becks photos were taken. But I told her I'll let her post the photos on her blog. We got on great!! And was much relieved that she's friendly and down-to-earth given we are travelling down together to Chris's in August.

Saturday night I went to a friend's birthday. It started at 5pm and was held at a school camp so we could all sleep over and not have to worry about driving home. When I got there I didn't recognise anyone!! Very much out of my comfort zone I sculled down a few wines to help me relax. I got talking to another girl who didn't know anyone else either. I found out she had come with her partner who knew the birthday girl. When it came time to sort out our sleeping arrangements I gingerly asked if I could share the same room as her (there were 6 bunks to a room). As I went to put my stuff in the room the mother of the birthday girl scolded me for putting my stuff in that room "Awww come on!! Leave the two love birds alone!!" She replied. I didn't know what to say, I was gobsmacked!! So for me the evening didn't get off to a very good start. By 7pm a few more people had arrived. I knew a few there but not very well. I managed to make polite conversation but it was not one of those "blast" events. I was very proud of myself for not having any chips or nibbles and the dinner I just had a vegetarian filo thingy and some salad and said no to dessert.

By 9.30pm we all moved over to the hall for a boogie when the entertainment arrived. Shona Laing was playing and while she was very good it was not boogie music. 10pm arrived and I had the choice of digging into the wine and having a good time that way or heading off to bed. So the old nana that I was I made the decision to go to bed!!! In bed by 10pm??? What have I become?? lol

I moved my stuff down to the far room by myself which ended up being a wise move as I didn't get woken when everyone else stumbled into bed at who knows what hour. I awoke at 3am freezing cold!! I had a subzero sleeping bag but it didn't seem to help. I just couldn't get back to sleep so at 3.30am I packed up my stuff and drove home, crawled into my own warm snuggly bed. Much better!!!

So that was my weekend ... woopie!! lol

Jese's off to school :(

My baby started school today! Very sad but exciting day. He doesn't start properly till he turns five on the 5 June, but has school visits for a couple of hours each Monday until then.

He wasn't nervous at all. I was pleased to say tho that he didn't do what his dad was trying to get him to memorise and introduce himself as ... "Who da man!!" He was repeating it all afternoon yesterday but instead of saying man he'd say 'Who da mam!!' ... lol not a good look for a first impression.




He was disappointed to come home at 10.30am and asked if he could go back after lunch. That's a good sign. But I'm very sad too. My baby is all growing up :((

...

I went to the local cafe last night to catch up with a friend for what was supposed to be a couple of drinks ... Ehem ... it ended up being one of those "invite everyone left at the pub home because the pubs closing!!" nights .... hmmmm ... woopsie.

At our house we all played playstation eye toy games ... what a hoot!!

I was very good and counted EVERY drink and worked out my points without going over for the day. Helps by the fact that I didn't get to eat dinner ... hmmm, yeah I know! lol. And I stopped drinking at about 11.30pm and drank water. I also earnt a couple of bonus points jumping round the lounge with the eye toy games. The last few left at 3am!!

This morning I'm very glad I stopped drinking when I did and drank water giving me no hangover (just a little tired)... hmmm, everyone else on the other hand are all very ill this morning.

Phew that was close!!!

I was sitting here minding my own business about 5pm last night when a friend popped in to tell me he was picking me up in 15mins. We were going to Tauranga to a seminar. I really didn't even have a chance to think about what he was telling me before he slipped out the door again.

So I raced upstairs, threw on some nice clothes, perfume and a face and out the door. In the car he was asking about the shop we were looking at buying and telling me it was a waste of time, that he had something far better for us to consider. My warning bells went off. I could see where the conversation was going ... yep ... MLM (multi-level-marketing) scheme!!

I was trapped in the car, travelling 45mins to Tauranga in the pouring rain when I could have been snuggled up at home infront of the heater! I told my friend I wasn't interested in any MLM schemes and that it wasn't for me. But he kept driving.

We turned up to a vacant shop where we were ushered upstairs like some secret mafia meeting. My body language would have told the lady I wasn't interested. She started on her big spiel about how she was so much in debt, about to be make bankrupt when someone came into her life and saved her... Gawd anyone would think I was in a church meeting the way she was carrying on.

To her credit the powerpoint presentation she gave was very professional and I could see a market for the product she was selling. By the end of the evening she had me convinced to part with OMG .. $12,995.00!!! Promising me that I too could be making 100,000's of dollars like her in a matter of months. I was totally swept away with the whole thing. So much for the supposed stubborn streak, where was that when I needed it. One thing I am grateful for is forgetting my wallet ... and visa card!

3hrs later we stepped out of the dark alleyway and in the car. Man I was starving!!! And at 10pm at night there was NOTHING open in Tauranga! Even McD's was shut! How crazy is that? Finally resorting to Wendy's and choosing a salad and baked potato (not too bad at 11.5pts)

Arrived home to darkness with Bill being in bed long ago. He was in no mood to be discussing the fact that I nearly spent $13,000 and that the lady was arriving to talk to him at 4pm the following day. I figured I'd talk to him about it in the morning.

A horrible nights sleep of continual nightmares about trying to talk people into joining the scheme, and losing friends and customers.

I awoke to Bill wanting to tell me of some more ideas he had for the shop in Tauranga. It was information overload!! I told him I didn't think it was a good idea. He wasn't listening to me tho. I decided to jump on the computer and research the net about this scheme. I found a lot of people saying that if you didn't put a lot of hours into it you would actually lose money!! Not words I wanted to hear. Then speaking to some reps in the shop, the area was flooded with people trying to con others to save their own income.

Now I just had to ring her to let her know I wasn't interested and not to bother coming to see us tonight. Lucky I got her answerphone and left her a polite message.

She rang back 15mins later (as expected) and honestly I couldn't get a word in for 14mins and 38secs!!! She just talked and talked and talked. By the end I had to be so blunt with her (which is so not me).

After hanging up Bill and I just looked at eachother ... and burst out laughing! What were we thinking??? We are happy here, our shop is doing well, why do we need to do anything else???? So we both agreed there and then that we wouldn't do my scheme and we wouldn't do his Tauranga shop ... we'll be content with the pot of gold we have on our own doorstep!

Has anyone else had any experiences with MLM businesses?

I'm getting rather cheeky with my ww points now ... I grilled the lady in the bakery this morning as to what EXACTLY was in her soup. I could see by the look on her face that she was a little aghast that I would ask such a thing. I wanted to know quantities, ingredients and number of serves per pot. After I continued to explain that I was back doing ww and just wanted to work out the points on it I could see the sigh of relief. It's ok lady, I'm not going to steal your secret recipe, lol. We'll I must have hit a soft spot in her because she came back half an hour later with a personally delivered free cup of her special soup!! And I worked it out at only 0.5pt per cup!! Yayya!!

I have my night walk on with the girls tonight. And I'll let you in on a little secret .. I'm really looking forward to weighin this week. I was naughty and took a sneak peak at the scales this morning ... it's looking very good, as long as it stays that way till Thursday ... fingers crossed ;)

Beach hoppin to Whangamata

Yesterday afternoon I was so hungry. I was in the mode of 'I don't care about points, I want food ... NOW!'

I had 10.5pts left for afternoon snack and dinner. Deciding on a low fat potato and leek cup-a-soup at 1.5pts. Had that and I still felt hungry so had another serving ... 3pts gone. Then I turned around to see Bill had a bag full of leftover filled rolls from the deli. All the sensible thinking went out of my head and thought I had to have one ... another 5.5pts gone! I'd be ok, I still had 1.5pts left which narrowed my dinner options but with a little creative thinking I'm sure I could come up with something.

Sitting watching telly on a cold and boring afternoon the danish custard roll sitting on the table kept steering at me. I could resist it, I know I could ... hmmm ... nup!! Another 2.5pts gone!!

That's it, my points all gone for the day at only 5.30pm. By this stage I was turning septic, annoyed at myself and subconsiously taking it out on my pour family members.

I decided on a 5.5pt tv dinner for tea. Put it in the microwave and 7mins later it was ready. I heard the finishing beep and as I stepped up to get it, I realised I wasn't hungry anymore. There was no need to eat it, but my scroodge mentality snuck in ... "I paid good money for that dinner, I need to eat it! No I don't ... I don't need the points"

So I went to bed not eating it and this morning, so glad I didn't! Although I had nightmares about eating lots of takeaways... heheh

We decided this morning to go have a look at the beach hop in Whangamata. I packed some snacks and water and off we went. While the kids pigged out on sausages and bread I had my healthy snack bar and banana. We saw some really cool cars, was certainly worth making the trip up there.

Here's my favourite car ...

Then we called in for a family game of mini golf. Gutted to lose but was a heap of fun! Jese (4yrs) thought he was just the coolest playing golf just like dad!

Bill and the kids called in for KFC on the way home, while I had my subway.

This afternoon it's house tidy time and hopefully get a walk in.

K...Friggin ...C???

Don't you hate it when you have it all planned out, everything ... you do your homework, cross all the 't's and then it all turns to shit on ya???

What the hell am I on about??

Dinner ... dinner that was absolute crap!! and so expensive in points it would send the queen into bankrupsy!

As Bill was bringing the kids home from grandma's he rang to ask me what I wanted for dinner. Of course I instinctively replied 'Subway' knowing that no matter how much he got my order wrong it wouldn't be too bad in points.

"I'm not going to Subway, that means I have to get out of the car. KFC sounds better... what do you want?"

Well my head went into a spin. KFC is so bad, I know how many piles of deepfried crap comes out of that place. So I told him I would look up their website find out the best choice and ring him back.

After much deliberation and working out the points on every item they produce, I had worked out exactly what I wanted according to the points I had left.

1 x Honey Roast Burger (2.5pts)
1 x small coleslaw (1.5pts)
1 x small potato & gravy (1pt)

Total = 5pts

Not too bad I thought. I repeated the items 3 times to Bill to make sure he ordered the right thing.

On arrival home Malachi brought my dinner to me in the shop ... hang on, wait a minute!! There's two burgers in here and no potato & gravy?? "ohh that's right. They didn't have your burger, so dad got 2 zinger burgers instead and they got the order wrong and didn't give us a potato and gravy" Malachi informed me.

"What??" So instead of 1 healthy burger I had 2 bad ones?? And do you think I could throw one away, nah ah! After all the effort one underpaid, overworked student had put into that burger, the least I could do was consume it.

So down they went, 2 yucky, dry, crusty burgers that I didn't even really want. And the total points I consumed in that discusting meal???

10.5pts!!!

Now if I had wanted to consume 10.5pts I could think of much better ways to do it, not on dry and crusty kfc!! I must have known something when I felt inspired to wake up and do 20mins on the cross trainer this morning. Next time I'll jump in the car myself and drive to Subway, at least then I know I'll get the right thing.