It's on again ... maybe :)

*********UPDATE*********

Knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you guys how it went ... lol
Well ... I got the call from the bank manager an hour ago ... bad news ... he said that even tho he could see we could do it, he couldn't persuade the credit department to approve the loan :( BUT ... that if we could get a guarantor with equity to guarantor 10% of it then they could probably do it. At first I was gutted. I definately didn't want to go to mum and dad to ask them for that... we wanted to do it ourselves. But it was either that or not have the house at all, so I rang dad and told him what the bank manager had said. I didnt ask him, definately didn't want to do that, but he offered saying "We'll do it, we'll go gaurantor for you" ... great news ... mostly ... bad news is, mum and dad have already put down rules for it ... I HAVE TO GIVE UP SMOKING! ... I am incredibly appreciative of them offering but threatening me to give up is not what I wanted to hear from them. I have told them I will do it ... and I will certainly try but I feel that taking away my cigerettes is taking away my lifeline ... the thing I hold onto in times of stress ... now what do I do when I get stressed? eat? yell at the kids? cry? All things I have done everything in my power to avoid over the last ten years. I will do it (only when I have to) but I feel like my arm is up my back.

The bad news is ... we have to wait till TOMMORROW to get a final yes or no from the bank ... so still waiting!!!

I'll update you tommorow


School holidays started today ...Holidays are not good for me... it's the fighting that really gets to me.

I'm keeping Lauren's and Jordans birthday simple this year (both at the end of this month). Jordans will probably just be a visit to grandads (his favourite person) and we have decided that Lauren can invite all her friends to her birthday (given that it will be a farewell party for her also) but we'll probably hold it somewhere like Lollipops so I don't have to
deal with the mess. If we can afford it.

My eating has been bad this weekend ... by not eating... I only had 7pts yesterday! Thats not good. But yet again when I'm under stress I go back to my old habits. I just can't face food at the moment.

Good news is we saw the ASB bank manager yesterday (after a good recommendation from mum and dad) and it might just work with them for finance on our 2storey 5 bedroom home. His words were "well it all looks good, I'll take it all away and do the figures up myself but as long as
everything looks as good as this there shouldn't be a problem" Hard not to get my hopes up but ... well we will get a phone call today (hopefully this morning sometime) to confirm whether we got the finance or not. I'll let you know straight away.

We signed up for the house (subject to finance)... turns out they took it off the market so it wouldn't sell on us. They sold 9 out of their last 13 properties last week and knew we were very interested in this one, so they told everyone it was sold. I couldnt believe it ... was that nice or what?

So now it's just a waiting game again... I HATE WAITING! :)

I'll update as soon as I know anything!

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST/LUNCH - cereal bar 2pts
DINNER - steak 3pts, potato 1pt, corn 1pt

Total ... 7pts/22pts
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved ... 16pts
Water ... 2 glasses
Exercise ... 30mins walk 2pts, 50 crunchies 1pt - 3pts
Total bonus points ... 4pts

Lyn :)

Looks like we may lose our dream ...

Quick entry today ...

Extremelly stressed at the moment ... having problems eating. First bank (our existing bank) has turned us down for finance on our 2storey home. But agreed to finance for the single storey home... problem is (as I found out yesterday) ALL THE PROPERTIES HAVE SOLD except the 2storey one we want. So basically we need to get finance for our storey one or we have to rethink our whole plan ... hence my stress!!!

Next step is to approach some other banks to try and get finance elsewhere.

Going to sign up for the two storey one today (conditional of finance and of this home definately selling, going unconditional) That way at least we won't miss out on that one too.

As you may have noticed I have done some rearranging on my front page. Finally worked out how to get two photos side by side using a 'table' (thanks Jo, I saw how you did it and that gave me the idea) So have included a new fat photo from my cousins wedding in November 2002. Gives me a good chance to compare how far I have actually come.

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - 4 prunes 1pt, banana 1pt
LUNCH - bread 2pts, ham 1pt, veges 0pt
SNACK - banana 1pt
DINNER - chicken 6pts, noodles 2pts, sw & sour sauce 4pts

Total ... 18pts/22pts
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved 12pts
Water ... 4 glasses diet coke (not the same I know, but can't face water at the moment)
Exercise ... 50 crunchies/1pt
Total bonus points ... 1pt

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 87.4kg
GW 65kg

Life is so short

Now comes the real stressful part!! Get finance approved for our new home. The mobile mortgage manager came around last night. He wanted me to supply financial records for the last 4yrs of business. Now I'm an arty person not an accountant, and the business doesn't do enough to warrant getting a professional to do it. So I fumble through it myself at the end of each financial year. I hate it! Hence everything is scribbled on loose paper... not very impressive :) So I sat up last night and went through my accounts for the last 4 years to try and get some Profit and Loss statements together. I think I got it right ... eventually ... dreamt about numbers all night long ... bad idea! lol

Now we just have to get a letter from Bill's boss stating what his salary is and the bonus he gets each year.

I can handle selling a house, even moving ... but I HATE this part of the process... it's like we are on test ... do we earn enough? do we spend too much? have we got too many kids? do we work enough? IT'S JUST HORRIBLE! I remember getting finance for this house when we bought it and it was a rollar coaster ride for two weeks... you may have it ... you might not get it... you got it ... but ... on the condition of ... so many ups and downs.

The good thing is this guy says that if we get finance for our 'dream' 2 storey 5 bedroom home we will be at 33% debt ratio (not including Bills bonus) or 28% debt ratio if they include Bill's bonuses into the equation. And the cutoff is around 30% for most banks. So it's touch and go as to whether we get it or not ... but if we don't we will definately get finance for the single storey 4 bedroom home. Either way we will still get our new home but just depends on the bank whether we get the 'perfect' one or a 'make do for now' one. I just want this part to be over ... quick!

We have some more people coming through to look at this house today. We have 3 days for any higher offers to come through and it's day 3 today. So this morning was spent tidying (again!) Jordan (3) follows me round the house undoing everything I have just put away ... very frustrating!

We have decided to get the settlement date brought forward to 21 days (instead of 42) so we can get out of here before the next mortgage is due and start saving sooner. I really think 42 days is too long... I just like to get packing done and get on with it.

We had some shocking news yesterday ... My sister in laws mum (in Sydney) was having dinner with the family last Friday... everything was fine ... then she felt really tired and excused herself to go to bed ... then 3hrs later she was vomiting and feverish. But refusing any help she suffered through the night .... till by morning she was delerious, her husband rushed her off to the hospital. They admitted her and took some tests ... then a rash appeared on her leg ... it is meningitis!!! Since then she has gone downhill, having to be on a resperator, dialasis and although she is responding to the strong antibiotics she is very very ill. She has gangreen appearing on her hands and face. I feel so bad for my brother and his wife ... what a horrible thing to be going through. Our prayers are with them all that she will make a full recovery, without having to have any amputations.

So with this news my eating seems the last thing in the world to worry about. Don't worry I'm not binging or doing anything crazy, but it just doesn't seem important in comparison.

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal bar 2pts
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - bread 2pts, veges 0pt, ham 1pt
SNACK - soup 1pt
DINNER - smoked chicken 5pts, pasta 5pts, veges 0pts, lite pasta sauce 2pts

Total 18.5pts/22pts
Saved ... 3.5pts
Total saved 3.5pts
Water ... 3 glasses
Exercise ... none
Total bonus points ... none

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 87.4kg
GW 65kg

WOW!!!

Good news comes in big bangs with me ... I can't believe it .... what a fantastic day!!!!

I have officially lost 20kg!!! Can you believe it ... I can't yet ... hasn't quite sunk in yet ... 20kg!!! OMG!!! At weigh in tonight I lost 1.2kg! Still doesnt seem real ... bringing my total to 20kg exactly lost since January 8, 2003 ... 25 weeks. Such a short time in the span of a lifetime!! Don't know quite else what to say ... feels like I'm going to burst right now lol!

The other good news ... fantastic news infact ... When I got home from ww tonight (infact I was in the middle of the supermarket doing the shopping) Bill comes running up to me (giving me the fright of my life) telling me to hurry up we have to get home ... Tina the real estate agent has another offer for us. So we rush home, threw the groceries into the cupboard intime for her to arrive around 9.30pm. She presented us an offer from the original buyer agreeing to the $185,000!! AND ... another offer from another investor for $187,000!!! But after having the fine print explained to us meant that the $187,000 offer would only go through if they got a further buyer to accept the price within 10 days of their original offer. (so to cut a long story short meant it wasnt a gauranteed sale). So we accepted the first offer of the lady for $185,000 .... SO YAY OUR HOUSE GOES CONDITIONAL AS OF 10pm tonight!! And unconditional as of 10 days time (after they have a valuation done which won't be a problem) So it's packing time!!!! Yay!! So much to organise! We have 42days from the day it goes unconditional (or quicker if we want it, hmmm no I need that much time to compact this household of furniture)

The other quick news ... the people that were going to rent mum and dads house next door to them have pulled out so we again have the offer of renting that house .... decisions, decisions!!

On that note ... off to bed ... its after midnight, but don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight.

Update my eating for today ... tomorrow ...

Nite!!! :))))

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 87.4kg
GW 65kg

Bent under the pressure :(

I hate this negotiating thing! It gets me so stressed out lol. The lady wanting to buy our house counter offered back $182,000 yesterday. If she had said $185,000 we would have taken it but that was our bottom figure. We have counter offered back $185,000 and if she wants anything lower we are going to say no ... even if it is $500 lower ... too bad! The thing is we havent even advertised or had any open homes yet... so to take an offer lower than what we want would be silly... we have to draw a line somewhere. Again we are waiting today for an answer back as to whether she will accept our $185,000 offer.

On the eating front ... hmm ... well I did really well up until this offer came back and I wanted to chill out with a few drinks. I would have been fine (even with the few drinks I had) but had a stupid mussel sandwich before bed that I didn't even want but Bill had especially made for me, so I couldnt say no... right? That sandwich put me over 4.5pts for the day.. ohh nooo :(

This has to be one of my worst weeks for points so far (since I started in Jan 03) Infact looking back on it I don't think I have ever been over points for the whole week. This week has put me to shame. The strange thing is I'm sure my tummy looks flatter than normal and I can still comfortably fit my size 16 jeans, but I certainly don't deserve a loss. Just wait and see I guess.

Big congratulations to Leigh for getting her 15kg loss minigoal!! Wahooo Leigh! She's left me for dust this week with over 2kg loss!!

Here's my eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, milk 0.5pt
SNACK - apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - potato and kumera wedges 3.5pts
SNACK - 5 prunes 1pt
DINNER - steamed rice 2.5pts, seafood chow mein 6pts
DRINKS - rum and diet cokes 7pts
SNACK - toast bread 3pts, mussels 1pt

Total ... 26.5pts/22pts
Saved ... - 4.5pts :(
Total saved ...-10.5pts
Exercise ... 20min walk/run 3pts
Total bonus points ... 27pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 88.6kg
GW 65kg

The waiting game!!

The offer we got yesterday for our house was $178,000. Our bottom dollar price is $175,000 but we feel we could get more so we have counter offered $188,000 back. The real estate agent thinks that $185,000 is her absolute top dollar so we are just waiting to see what happens. She was supposed to have got back to the agent last night as to whether she accepted our offer or not and we didn't hear from her so the agent says thats a good sign. If it was a no then we would have heard back straight away. She is obviously doing the maths. We have decided if she offers $185,000 back we will take it. All looks very possitive but yet again it's a waiting game. I'll let you know as soon as we hear anything ... can't wait!!

We rang mum and dad last night to tell them the good news. Unfortunately their house (the one they own next door to them) has gone. They let it out a few days ago ... but ... they have offered for us to live with them for the six months. This has good and bad points. Mum and I tend to butt heads quite a bit but it means saving a whole heap of money (giving us much higher deposit for our new house). Over $2000 a month infact. Just have to see if we can cope. I was a little worried about eating there (mum is not very ww friendly with her cooking) but her idea was for me to take over the cooking of the household so she can go back into the cowshed with dad. This works out great, it means I can cook ww meals everynight without much hassle. Bill and I are very appreciative of their offer and I think we are going to take it up. It will mean no power bill, no phone bill (just our mobile) and no house insurance, no rates, and NO MORTGAGE OR RENT for six months!! We will give them $250 a week to go towards food and any other costs we have... GREAT!!! Just have to see if I can survive the time. Bill will commute from Hamilton to Auckland each day for work (about an hours drive) but the other good thing ... my brother in law has just started commuting from Hamilton to Auckland each day too so we are going to see if Bill and him can commute together and share petrol costs... another big saving! I think it all looks like it's going to work :)

So I have to ask a big favour of you guys ... I am really going to need this journal and your guys support while we live there to give me a place I can vent out and share all my ups and downs. I'm going to need to rely on this journal alot during this time. Mum and Dad won't like me smoking so looks like I'm going to need to give that up too... hmmm ... not a good time to give up smoking (during such stress) but might be a good thing.

Wow what big changes ... hope I can handle it without cracking!! lol

My eating for yesterday was excellent. Very proud of myself (if I don't say so myself lol) I stayed under points and infact saved another 4 points for the day. Bill tried (again) to get me to sit down with some rum and cokes after dinner but I was able to stick to my guns and say no! Yay me! I got in 4 glasses of water and an hours gym class!! wahoo!!

To be honest I'll be happy to stay the same at this weeks weigh in. Although I have been very good the last 3 or 4 days I had a big blowout at the start of the week... so it will be interesting to see how it goes. Desperately hope I don't gain but not expecting a loss either.

Here's my eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, milk 0.5pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - pumpkin soup 4pts, bread 2pts, milk 0.5pt
SNACK - maltesers 2pts
DINNER - pasta 5pts, meat 1pt, veges 0pts, tomato salsa 0pts

Total ... 17pts/22pts
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved ... -6pts
Water ... 4 glasses
Exercise ... 8pts gym class
Total bonus points ... 24pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 88.6kg
GW 65kg

We've had an offer on the house already!! :)

I had a good weekend. I went over to Waihi for a cat show and stayed ontrack all day and even got an hours walk/run in. Bad news is Chino didn't win anything but hey it was a good day out without the kids.

Here's my eating for the day ...

BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, milk 0.5pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - seafood filled roll 4pts
SNACK - 2 mandarins 1pt
DINNER - subway 1ft long teriyaki chicken (low fat one) 12pts
SNACK - rum and diet coke 2.5pts

Total 22pts/22pts
Saved 0pts
Total saved -10pts
Water 5 glasses
Exercise 1hrs walk/run 5pts
Total bonus points 16pts

We got our first offer on the house, but of course they wouldnt tell us over the phone what it was. We have to wait till after 3pm this afternoon. I'm kinda nervous, not about selling but that they will beat us down in price. Bill and I have set a price we want that we won't go below (but I'm sure everyone says that lol) Still great to know that it has only been on the market a week with an offer already. We had another 2 couples through yesterday... so that's four couples through already... exciting stuff.

I have finally talked Bill into letting me get a Devon Rex cat. I wanted one before we got Chino our Burmese but he flatly refused saying they were UGLY!! (how could anyone say they are ugly???) Here's a pic of one so you can see what they look like ...

The adorable Devon Rex

They have velvet like fur and wrinkles everywhere (bit like a sharpei dog) This one is just a kitten and they come in all colours... I want a smokey black one. I found a breeder at the show yesterday and I have compromised with Bill saying I will wait till after we have built our house and settled in properly (let's see... 2 days should do it lol) But seriously I am happy to wait. The breeder says their personalities fit in perfectly with Burmese. Siamese not so much but Burmese are fine. So I think they will make great mates with eachother.

Well I think that's enough blabbing from me... have a gym session planned for this afternoon and a good day of eating ahead!

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 88.6kg
GW 65kg

I am pleased with my efforts :)

I was very well behaved yesterday ... but only just!!! lol

Bill was trying his hardest to get me to drink the 3 rum and cokes sitting in the fridge. He nagged me for 3hours!!! I kept saying no but he kept nagging me!! He is so bad like that, just doesnt give up. Who needs a nagging wife when you have a husband like Bill lol!!

But you would be proud of me ... I stood firm ... but only just!! It was so tempting but noooo I knew I couldnt, I have to stick to my 18pts for the remainder of this week to work off my extra 18pts I used on pizza the other night.

I am struggling with getting water in again. I managed 3 glasses yesterday which I am relatively pleased with. Think I need to work up to 6 again bit by bit.

For today my goal is to stay below 18pts again. Just me and the kids home all day today, with Bill working to 10.30pm. Might get inspired to make something nice and low point for lunch.

The plan is to go to the gym this afternoon. Bill is coming home from work for a couple of hours at 1.30pm till 5pm. So I will make a mad dash to the gym before it closes at 3pm.

I'm off to Waihi tomorow for another cat show. Unless Chino wins first prize I think this one will be the last for a while ... I'm just getting too busy to be running around the country with a cat under my arm ... hehe. Hope he wins some prize tho ... we need some more catfood and it is just so expensive to buy. Much easier to win it :)

If the weather holds out on me tomorrow I will go for a big walk around Waihi while I'm waiting for the judging to finish. All depends if we take the kids with us or not. It's looking like Bill will need to stay home with the kids and me go alone (with Chino of course) because Jordan has come down with a bad cough and I don't really want to take him out if he is still sick.

My eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, milk 1pt
LUNCH - Chicken Soup 4pts, 2x bread 2pts, milk 1pt
SNACK - banana 1pt
DINNER - steak 3pts, potato 1pt, coleslaw 2pts
SNACK - ww dessert 1.5pts

Total ... 18pts/22pts
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved ... -14pts
Water ... 3 glasses
Exercise ... none
Total bonus points ... 3pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 88.6kg
GW 65kg

I blew it!!!

wasnt going to update today ... the news is bad! I totally blew my points out last night ... ON PIZZA AND ALCOHOL! Man I feel like I have undone all my good work over the last six months.

I didn't even track it ... was feeling too guilty. But the good thing is this morning I decided I have to track what I ate so I can work it off over the week.

So here's what I ate yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, milk 1pt
SNACK - cereal bar 2pts
LUNCH - 2 crumpets 2pts, ww jam 0.5pt, lite cream 1pt
SNACK - rice crackers 1pt
DINNER - 3 pieces of Pizza Hutt Pizza 21pts!!!!!
ALCOHOL - 5 rum and cokes 10pts

Total ... 40pts!!/22pts
Saved ... -18pts
Water ... a pathetic half glass
Exercise ... loading rubbish into bin for 4hrs (don't know how many points this is) maybe 3pts?

Not a good picture. But in tracking means I can do something about it. Plan is to cut back to 18pts for the rest of the week (saving 4pts each day) which will work back the -18pts.

Pre-ww I used to have pizza regularly for dinner ... I love it!! And we used to get a whole pizza each!!! My goodness ... thats like 56pts!!! in one meal! wow! No wonder I was overweight lol. So to stop at 3 pieces was a small success. I've got to look at some positives here lol. Hmmm well gotta just bite the bullet and accept it I guess. The other good thing, I didn't enjoy it as much as I used to. I was okay but a nice home cooked meal would have been just as nice.

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 88.6kg
GW 65kg

can you believe it?? wahoo!!

I was completely shocked at weigh in last night ... 1.2kg loss!! Wasnt expecting that much although in saying that I seem to have good losses after TOM has finished, so makes up for my pathetic 100g loss last week. I'm presuming my 5 rum and cokes will show up on the scales next week so I'll
try my best to work it off first.

Do you realise I now only have 1.2kg till my 20kg loss mark!! Wow I can't believe I am finally nearly there! And in only a few kilos I will be half way. On a good day like today I think wow that is so cool that I have already nearly lost half of my weight and on bad days I think ... geessh I still have the same amount again to lose. But when I look at the big picture, it hasnt been hard. I just have to concentrate, keeping my focus strong. As long as I do that I will continue to suceed and rid myself of these horrible rolls.

Think it might be time for another updated photo (maybe when I hit my 20kg loss mark) I will try and have the photo taken the same as the last one so you can compare the two.

Not much to else to say today ... I didnt track yesterday but I can tell you I didnt eat much (with weigh in day)

But tracking hard today!! Got 3 glasses water in yesterday (not the best)... working on that one too.

Busy morning so far ... only 10am and I have already tidied the house, made the beds, done the dishes and done a business consultation (which went very well)... feel like I'm getting on top of things again ... yay!!

The big bin is supposed to arrive today so that will be good to finally rid ourselves of all the rubbish! Cant wait.

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 88.6kg (wow I feel slim!)
GW 65kg

what a day!!! :)

Wow what a cool day I had yesterday. Talk about extremes!! Got the house tidy in the morning... just in time for the real estate agent to arrive with 6 other agents she wanted to show through. Then did some clearing out of old stuff in the pantry and kitchen cupboards. Friend arrived for a coffee than back into painting the fence out the back till Bill arrived home at 4.30pm.

During the day I had a call from the agent to say the price all the other agents thought our house should get was $15,000 - $20,000 more than we thought we would get. Fantastic news! (Hopefully the buyers think the same)

Then on clearing my emails last night a client let me know she was sending in payment for the work I am doing for her, which is enough to cover the extra $1000 we had to spend on the house this month. So that's our money troubles gone out the door (for now anyhow).

Was such a relief to have that pressure lifted. I let loose with a few rum and cokes to celebrate... whoops should have stopped at the one but ended up having 5. Funny thing is ... I don't feel guilty about it this time. So what if I went over my points for the day... I had points saved up enough to cover it.

Went to the gym this morning (shock horror) and really enjoyed it. I was puffing a little more than usual but I also pushed myself harder too. Hopefully this has sparked me to get enthusiastic about getting back into it.

Back into painting the fence today... if the sun stays out.

Really don't know how I will go at weigh in tonight. I have stuck within my points for the week but still not enough exercise as usual and not enough water either. Well I'll let you know on Thursday. Won't be able to update tonight... I'm off to ww at 5pm then going out to see a friend in hospital straight after so wont be home till late. I'll try and get on as soon as possible on Thursday morning... don't like to keep you all waiting! :)

Heres my eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, reg milk 1pt
SNACK - LCM Bar 1.5pts
LUNCH - nothing
DINNER - chinese 11pts
DRINKS - 5 rum & cokes 10pts

Total ... 25pts/22pts
Saved ... -3pts
Total saved ... 5pts
Water ... none ... whoops
Exercise ... 5hrs painting a fence 5pts
Total bonus points ... 11pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.8kg
GW 65kg

Apologies for my outburst yesterday :)

This cycle of feeling good and bad can be pretty stressful. I am feeling really good today. After re-reading yesterdays entry I feel a little arkward and embarrased. I can be so overdramical!! But at the time I can't see anything else but the dark cloud and nothing seems to blow it away.

Today is good tho and my eating yesterday was good and focused. I even drank all 6 glasses of water... but still no exercise. Bill is doing big hours this week so exercise will be a little hard to fit in.

The 'for sale' sign went up last night ... a little earlier than we expected but certainly gets us moving into cleaning up. Ordering a big skip bin today to get rid of all our 'junk' we have hoarded over the 3 yrs of being here. There's a sence of satisfaction about throwing out stuff.

We sat down and did a budget last night so I'm feeling a whole lot better about that. I get so stressed out about finances, not sure why. Lucky Bill is the opposite, the ever optimist (leaning to the frustratingly flagmatic). Nothing fases him, no matter how hard the situation he can always see the bright side of things. The annoying side to this type of personality... everything always gets put off till later. But a small price to pay for his positive energy vibes. I don't know where I would be without Bill... he continuely cheers me up. I think thats why I get so down when he works late. I just hate not being with him (that's enough gooey stuff for today lol)

Here's my eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal bar 2pts
SNACK - hot chocolate 0.5pt, milk 0.5pt, marshmellow 0.5pt, lite cream 1.5pt
LUNCH - bread 1pt, egg 1pt, cheese 1pt, veges 0pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
DINNER - lean beef 3pts, Cous cous 6pts, veges 0pts, chicken gravy 3pts

Total 20.5pts/22pts
Saved 1.5pts
Total saved 8pts
Water 6 glasses (yay finally)
Exercise ... nothing
Total bonus points 6pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.8kg
GW 65kg

whats wrong with me?

I didnt track at all yesterday. I've chosen to write it off (bad thing to do I know but right now I dont care!) Didnt have breakfast till 12pm and that was only a cereal bar. Then lunch consisted of roast chicken with all the gravy trimmings, roast veges and fat, fat, fat!! Felt so bad about that so I didnt have dinner till 9pm ... a bag of rice chips oh and two hot chocolates with whipped cream and marshmellows... hmm let me see ... maybe only around 22 or 23 pts ... seemed like a lot more. but certainly didnt eat regularly and my water was around ummm 1 glass!! lol

I'm still really stressed and cant stop crying. Our finances arent helping. We've spent about $1000 on doing up the house this month so we havent paid our bills yet. We always get over it but still not easy. The answer to
this is for Bill to do 12hr days all week so we can at least cover the mortgage, which means I am stuck again here for hours on end by myself ... all just one big horrible circle!! And to top it off Bill went to church yesterday with the kids (I was home cooking a roast for friends coming for lunch, and painting the fence). This lady came up to him (shes the psycho one from across the road) and asked where I was. He replied I was at home at which she said (almost in a shout) "Oh is she at home SMOKING!!" Loud enough for everyone to hear! Well there goes going back to that church
again! lol... The thing that pisses me off about that one is she claims she has a spirit of lust problem (yeah I know ... crazy!! lol!!) and she comes onto any male within a 10mtr radius!! (including my HUSBAND!!) She has the cheek to come and ask to use my fax machine all the time... I tell ya next time she arrives I'm gonna go tell her to go jump!!

So I've had a pretty stressful weekend but still not stressful enough to answer why I cant stop crying all the time. I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't face going to the gym either at the moment, can't face food, water ... hmmm not good. I didn't even want to update my online journal
because I'm sick of writing negative stuff there. I don't like to seem like a weak, attention seeker, so I just avoid everyone and everything... feeling like crawling back into bed and not facing the world today. If I didn't have kids that's exactly where I would still be.

Probably a good thing that the real estate agent is coming round to photograph the house today so had meant I HAVE to get on with life, tidying up this damn house.

All that negative stuff aside ... I tried on Bill's jeans last night and they were actually baggy on me. I was lying on the couch skiting to him how I could fit his jeans then when I sat up the zip popped open!! It actually broke so it couldnt be done up again... oh no ... and just after I was feeling so good about them too lol. They weren't tight on me at all so they must have been ready to break but still doesnt make you feel too hot lol.

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.8kg
GW 65kg

Much better today!! :)

I'm feeling alot better about today... dont know what has changed lol.

I think I was subconsiously stressed yesterday about having a full day without Bill here (he worked till 10.30pm last night) and I had a client coming for a consultation so had to have dinner cooked, eaten, kids in bed, house tidy, consultation prepared all by 7.30pm. This is fine when Bill is home. We work really well as a team and get things done in no time but on my own I get stressed about it.

Here's my skiting for the day ...
I put on my size 18 jeans today straight out of the wash and dryer (which always shrinks my jeans) and they not only comfortably did up but are baggy on me. I have actually tucked my shirt into my jeans ... this is a big thing for me. I ALWAYS have shirts hanging out over my jeans because I don't feel confident enough to expose my tummy but today it actually looks good with my shirt tucked in ... wahoo ... has been many years since I have had the confidence to wear my clothes like this.

Bill finishes at midday today so I'm hoping to get some exercise in once he gets home... maybe a long walk or a gym workout... haven't decided yet ... either one I'm looking forward to it, which is a step up from the last couple of days. Actually looking back on it (my depresive mood) is typical PMS feelings. I should recognise this but as usual I don't until it ends. PMS normally stings me a day or so before my period comes but this month it has run over into the first couple of days during my period. The good thing ... there is an end ... im feeling positive and focused today and my bloated tummy is starting to shrink back to it's normal state.

I think I did really well with my eating yesterday, eating 3 meals and 2 snacks, although still 4pts under for the day, but could have been worse. My water is improving at 5 glasses yesterday... goal for today is 6 glasses.

If the weather improves I will get out and paint the garden trimmings. Been wanting to do this job for the last week but there hasn't been a fine day yet. I'm hanging out for some sun, I'm sure that has an effect on emotions too.

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, milk 0.5pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - pumpkin soup 2pts, bread 2pts
SNACK - hot chocolate with marshmellows (yummm!!) 2pts
DINNER - Potato wedges 2pts, sour cream dip 2pts, cheese and vegetable bake 5.5pts

Total ... 18pts/22pts
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved ... 6pts
Water ... 5 glasses
Exercise ... 1hr walk 4pts
Total bonus points ... 5.5pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.8kg
GW 65kg

hmmmm not good again

Im STRESSED!!!! Sick of this damn business, and stressed at where we are going to live if this house sells already and it hasnt even gone on the market yet!! It's 10am and all I have managed to do so far is eat breakfast and go for a walk and talk to stressful people on the phone (including my
mother). She has now turned round and said that maybe it wouldnt be a good idea to live with them while we build our house. We'll need to pay $100 per week in rent to stay at mum and dads (which is still good) but Bill will need to board in Auckland for probably $150 and then theres petrol commuting to Hamilton and back to Auckland each weekend (about $60 per week) so all up it's probably going to cost too much to live with mum and dad (around $310 per week, which we could rent in Auckland for cheaper than that) But its the hassle of trying to find a rental property for only a few months. Decisions, decisions!!!

Havent done any work!!! I hate today!!! Yes I kicked my lazy butt out of bed this morning and went for an hours walk so at least thats one thing.

My water intake is still shocking ... only 3 glasses yesterday. But I had breakfast this morning so going good there. And I managed to eat most of my points yesterday.

Sometimes I wonder if I am a recovering anorexic... I was never diagnosed with anything ... and never lasted more than a day without eating ... BUT ...I know that not eating breakfast is not good. And I have to force myself to eat especially when under pressure. I just cant handle the thought of having food in my stomach when I'm stressed. It has taken me 6mths to get my motabolism moving again and I feel like I'm undoing all my hard work at the moment. I may not gain weight when I dont eat but it means when I do get back to eating properly my motabolism will be at a stand still again and I will gain... I need that spark of energy, motivation and enthusiasm I had 3mths ago... where did it go? I've got to get back to this thing properly... 100% focused just so hard when there is so much else going on right now.

Heres my eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - nothing oops
SNACK - nothing .. damn ... maybe I shouldnt write my eating for yesterday down :)
LUNCH - sushi 4pts
SNACK - cereal bar 2pts
SNACK 2 - bread 1pt, baked beans 1.5pts, egg 1pt
DINNER - rice 2.5pts, steak 3pts, salad 0pts
SNACK - aunt bettys pudding 3.5pts, banana 1pt, lite cream 1pt

Total - 20.5pts/22pts
Saved ... 1.5pts
Water ... 3 glasses
Exercise ... house cleaning for 4hrs 2pts
Bonus points total ... 2pts

Hmmm doesnt look too good, but I tried ... honest
Todays looking a little better
Lyn :)

Time got away with me sorry!!

Well sorry it took me this long to update you all ... lol

I had a crazy idea of ringing the real estate agent this morning (while Bill was home today) to come round and assess the house, what they think they can get for it. So it was a 4 hr hurricane around the house to get the house sparkling before she came at 1.30pm. We did it and she was very impressed... infact she tells us she thinks can get much more than we actually originally wanted for it ... (well so she says) but we will see. We're not pressured to sell so thats a good thing. Guess it's all happening now ... the house goes on the market in 2wks time. Not actually much more to do ... replace some boards in the bathroom, paint the garden edges and get rid of some more junk!! lol

Now on with the real news ... I lost 100g at weigh in last night... I was really pleased with that because I was feeling so bloated yesterday. Can't actually believe I am still under 90kg. 89.8kg infact :)

Now for my confessions ... I have been very bad today!! With all the mad panic this morning I didnt get time for breakfast or morning tea. And Bill ate one of my sushi so only ate 4 not 5 sushi for lunch (not much I know)
And I have only had half a glass of water so far today. It's no excuse I know but my mind is racing and eating is honestly the last thing on my mind at the moment!!

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.8kg
GW 65kg

full moon is playing up with my wild side!! lol

I am extremely tired today ... and it's all my fault lol ... At 12.30am this morning I was wide awake and couldnt get back to sleep. Started thinking about amounts we have spent on doing up our house to get it on the market and you know how once you start doing that you can say goodbye to going back to sleep.

By 1.30am I still couldnt get any shuteye so decided to get up and do some grocery shopping!!!! There is a brand new countdown supermarket gone up here (only opened yesterday). They had amazing specials on and have a 24hr operation. Just before I walked out the door I checked our bank balance to make sure Bill's pay had gone in ... but no it hadn't. Rang the bank (at 2am) and was told it doesnt go in till 3.30am ... aaarghhh!! So I filled in sometime reading other online journals.

Was really weird shopping at that time. There were only 2 of us in the store (other than staff). Only problem was the checkout operator ... talk about sloooow!! Must have been her first night. She took half an hour to put my order through!!! And packed everything all mixed up ... I hate that!!!

Got home at 5.45am intime for Bill to get up for work. Then the kids were up at 6am ... so no sleep yet lol. I'll try and have a quick one when Jese goes down for his 10am morning sleep. Put good ol' 'Bob the Builder' on for Jordan to watch.

Must be a full moon at the moment I'm sure ... both Bill and I have been doing crazy things the last few days. At 3pm yesterday we decided to build a retainer wall. We hadnt even bought the blocks yet. So I went in to pick the first of two loads up while Bill pulled the fence down and 2.5hrs later we had a retainer wall!!! I didnt get to the gym last night but figured I had a good enough workout with all the brick laying!! It looks fantastic, wish we had done it years ago lol.

Funny all the things you finally get done when you want to sell :)

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - weetbix 1.5pts, trim milk 0.5pts
SNACK - 2 ww cookies 1pt
LUNCH - 5 prunes 1pt, cereal bar 2pts
SNACK - 10 hot chips 2pts
DINNER - rice 5pts, meat 2pts, gravy 1pt, veges 0pts

Total ... 16pts/22pts ... oops!
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved ... 15pts
Water ... 4 glasses
Exercise ... Gardening 1pt, Brick laying 2pts
Total bonus points ... 17pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.9kg
GW 65kg

nothing to cry about

I'm feeling all teary eyed today, wanting to cry about nothing. Which must mean that my period is due. That's a good thing, meaning that another month has gone and I'm not pregnant. I have this horrible fear every month that I'm pregnant. We use protection every time but I'm still scared. I think even if Bill got his vesectomy I would still be scared I would be pregnant each month. And I feel guilty for feeling like this with people around me who cant get pregnant. We are blessed with four children and I appreciate the fact that we CAN get pregnant but to have another would just put us over the edge... I JUST CANT GET PREGNANT AGAIN, it would be too much. I only seem to worry about this at TOM so that's a good sign.

I really can't get focussed this week with my eating. I haven't gone over my points at all but I don't have that 100% focus I usually do. My water was still down yesterday at 4.5 glasses and my exercise is not up to my usual level (but still at the level I originally planned, 5 days a week). With TOM due at this weigh in I'm not expecting a good result. Desperately hoping for a loss (even 100 or 200g) but not planning on it. My clothes still feel the same loseness, I just have that bloated feeling.

I didnt do any exercise yesterday. I was still feeling too stiff from gardening the day before to go to the gym. But I'm going back tonight regardless of how my body feels. I have to or it will be too hard to get back into it. Exercise is such a bizarre thing... If you do it you want to do more, if you stop, you can't be bothered to go again. So I forcing my lazy butt out the door tonight!! lol

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - fruit porridge 1.5pts, trim milk 0.5pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - 100g rice chips 6pts (no bread in the house)
SNACK - 5 prunes 1pt
DINNER - 2 chicken drumsticks (with skin on) 5pts, veges and canned tomatoes 0pts, pasta 2.5pts, reduced milk 2pts
SNACK - lite icecream 2pts, banana 1pt

Total ... 22pts/22pts
Saved ... 0pt
Total saved ... 11pts
Water ... 4.5 glasses
Exercise ... none
Total bonus points saved ... 14pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.9kg
GW 65kg

not focussed

Uh oh ... yesterday I didnt track at all (kept a rough mind
count tho) and when i wrote it all down this morning I realised I went way under my points for the day ... hmmm not good... and at 4pm I realised I hadnt drunk any water!!! So I started then and managed to get in 4 glasses... oops

I considered all the work in the garden I did as my exercise (I'm feeling a bit stiff today tho so must have done something)

The flu thing I had must have just been a 12hr thing because I bounced back pretty quick. Muscles are the only thing feeling achy today from gardening and water blasting. The place is looking pretty good tho.

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - weetbix 1.5pts, milk 0.5pt
SNACK - banana 1pt
LUNCH - Apple 0.5pts, cereal bar 2pts
DINNER - rice 5pts, seafood chow mein 7pts

Total ... 17.5pts/22pts
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved ... 11pts
Water ... 4 glasses
Exercise ... Gardening 4pts
Total bonus points ... 14pts

Lyn :)

We've decided to sell

My dinner went well last night ... didnt go over points at all for the day and didnt have to use my saved points. Lucky the host cooked up plain potatoes and beans, carrots and sweetcorn, so filled up my plate with those, then had a little bit of lasagna (difficult to point but guessed at 5pts for a small piece) Dinner was 6pts all together...

Then I did Nannas waffles (1.5pts), custard (1.5pts), petit miam (1pt), lite whipped cream (1pt), 2 marshmellows (1pt), and half a banana (0.5pt) each for dessert... was a big success! All up dessert came to 6.5pts ...

Then for supper we had rice chips (2pts) ... so all up I consumed 14.5pts for the evening and 21pts for the day (even saved 1pt) only problem I probably ate too many points in one sitting but I think a success overall :)

Our exciting news for the day ... we have decided to put our house on the market. We found out yesterday that the new subdivision we are wanting to build in, has been given consent to include a brand new primary school and group of shops so this means the prices of houses should go up even more in the area... all the more reason to get in NOW before the prices go up. The amount we will gain on the increased value of our new house will far outway any returns we would get on having our existing home as a rental so we are gonna do it ... sell up. We have a price in mind that we want for this place so if we get it well great if not then we just wont sell... simple as that.

So today we are doing some tidying up around the gardens/section. Tommorow we will tidy the house and then invite a land agent to come give us a free assesment of what they think the house is worth and we will go from there. Mum has offered for us to live with them for the 4 or so months while our new house is being built so that will help us out ... After all the ups and downs mum and I have nice to see her come through and offer us this :) They have a house next to them that is currently vacant (that they own) so if it is still empty when this place sells we will live there and Bill will either commute from Hamilton to Auckland each day (about 1.5hrs drive) or he will get a place to stay in Auckland for during the week and travel home on the weekends. We will put the older two in school in Hamilton for the 4 months (will give them a good life experience) so sounds like it might all be working out. Well if the house sells that is lol... one step at a time ... for now there's lots of tidying up to do so better get onto it.

Walking yesterday was good (walked with my ww meeting group) would have like to walk a little faster but was a real good social outing, getting to know some of my fellow ww'ers a little better. Earnt 4 bonus points so cant complain :)

Eating for yesterday ...

BREAKFAST - ww cereal (60g) 3pts, trim milk 0.5pts
SNACK - Apple 0.5pts
LUNCH - small banana 0.5pt
SNACK - cereal bar 2pts
DINNER - lasagna 5pts, potato 1pt, veges 0pt, waffles 1.5pts, custard 1.5pts, petit miam 1pt, lite cream 1pt, 2 marshmellows 1pt, half banana 0.5pt
SNACK - rice chips 2pts

Total... 21pts/22pts
Saved ... 1pt
Total saved ... 7pts
Water ... 7 glasses
Exercise ... 45min walk 5pts
Total bonus points ... 10pts

Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.9kg
GW 65kg

damn perfectionist!! lol

I'm not feeling the best today, think I am coming down with the flu but havent quite got it yet, that horrible stage where you feel too yuck to do anything but not bad enough to be in bed. I have two ear infections, my glands are up, boils, bladder infection (sorry for the gory details) inflamed excsma (?sp) and just generally feeling yuck... think I might be a bit run down (ya think?? lol) I have to get to the doctor but I am too much of a scrooge to pay the $40 for her to tell me I am right with my self diagnosis. I know she will put me straight onto antibiotics which ALWAYS gives me thrush ... the cure is worse than the original problems!!
I'm determined to exercise this afternoon no matter how bad I feel. There is a walk organised by my ww leader ... she gave a big speal last week how no one turned up last time so not to turn up after telling her I would be there would be a kick in the pants ... so I'm going no matter what!
Then it's out for dinner tonight... hmmm ... not sure how thats going to go. It's a potluck and I'm taking a dessert but I have nothing in the house to make thats point friendly. Might have to make a rush mad dash to the supermarket this afternoon... after my walk @ 2.30pm... whip something up then out to dinner @ 4pm... hmm dont know how thats going to work but oh well.
One friend is taking a lasagna (which definately wont be point freindly, and a favourite of mine ... uh oh) and a salad(shouldnt be too bad)
And the other friend is taking a tuna bake (probably topped with a kg of cheese!!) hmmm might be interesting. I have saved 6pts up so far and might have to eat light today as well.
I decided to do a few tweaks on this diary last night. But in the process accidently saved over the old one with the new version template for my diary but the new one didnt work!!! Arrrgggghh!! Then spent the next 4hrs trying to redo my old one. Got it finished eventually (around 11pm last night) but
in the end I'm left with the same thing as what I started with lol (still didnt fix the original problem I was trying to tweak) ohh well should have just left it and been happy with that I guess. damn perfectionist!!!
Eating for yesterday ... (vegetarian day)
BREAKFAST - cereal bar 2ps, yoghurt 1pt
SNACK - 5 prunes 1pt, 2 ww cookies 1pt
LUNCH - vege soup 2.5pts (potato, kumera, 98%ff sour cream, and a little sugar)
SNACK - popcorn 1.5pts, 5 prunes 1pt
DINNER - left over vege soup with added pasta 2.5pts
SNACK - lite ice cream 2pts, custard 2.5pts
MIDNIGHT SNACK - 50g rice chips 3pts
Total ... 20pts/22pts
Saved ... 2pts
Total saved ... 6pts
Water ... 6 glasses
Exercise ... none (day off)
Total bonus points saved so far... 5pts
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.9kg
GW 65kg

Doubt leads to a way out

This quote above came from my brilliant hubby last weekend. I was questioning the fact that I would actually finish this 21.5km half marathon or even the 12km walk I was about to undertake. He replied to me ... you can't have any doubts ... you have to go out there KNOWING you will achieve it!!! after all ... DOUBT LEADS TO A WAY OUT!
Isn't that just the most fantastic thing you have heard in ages? For me it was a light switch ... if we doubt ourselves in any way we will be giving ourselves an excuse to say "Oh I didnt think I could do it anyway so why bother finishing?" This lesson just doesnt work for 12km walks ... but for our whole weightloss journey ... we cant have any doubts that we wont make it ... or that we will pull out, because if there is any hint of doubt there we are giving ourselves excuses to jump overboard, but KNOWING we WILL get to the otherside we just have to ride the waves and STICK WITH IT!!!!
Wow that was profound huh? lol ... and for this early in the morning too ... somedays I shock myself lol
Now after doing this big speal for the day ... I have to confess about yesterday (uh oh) I didnt do anything crazy but definately didnt drink all my water (only 3.5 glasses of it) and had planned to go to the gym at 5.30pm class for 1hr, shower and home by 7pm for a 7.30pm consultation (business I run)... was a tight schedule but could do it. Except for the fact that Bill wanted me to fill the gas bottle up on the way, it was looking like a cold night ahead again. When I got to the service station (with only minutes to spare) there was a queue of 8 bottles to be filled!! Arrrggghh!! So I sat waiting for 15mins making me miss my class!! I decided to go anyway and do a weights room workout but meant I only got 45mins in. There were so many people at the gym I spent alot of time waiting in line for equipment so not a true 45min workout ... grrrrrrr .... lol
Good part ... I got home intime for my client to arrive, consultation done (which went very well with a confirmed booking made) but meant I didnt get dinner till 9pm and still had 4pts after I finished dinner to use but just wasnt hungry then, so have saved them for another day. With all this commotion I just didnt get time to get all my water in. Bill was a honey and cleaned the house, fed kids and did the dishes all before I got home from the gym. Awww what a sweetie!!
After writing it all down, I didnt do as bad as I thought I had. Just didnt have all my water and had no dairy serves for the day... but not a major ... gotta stop being so hard on myself!!
Day off for exercise today ... I am actually releaved ... think my body needs it.
Going for a walk with my weight watchers meeting tommorow. I'm really looking forward to it. I usually walk alone so to have company will be good. Although they're only going for 30mins so I might keep going once they have finished. We are meeting up at the Botanical Gardens in Manurewa, which is right next to a new subdivision I would like to live in (The Gardens). My favourite thing to do is walk around streats of new houses and look at what everyone has done with their sections, so this might be in order when our walk is finished :)
Out for dinner to a friends house tomorrow night. Don't like coping with these situations, as much as I love the company :) But not knowing what is in the dinner or how many points ... is a bit of a worry. Have to put my 'eating out' skills into practice I guess. I have 4pts saved already and can save a few more over the week if I have a blowout (which I'm hoping I don't ... just too risky) Good thing is they dont drink so alcohol won't be a problem.
Well guessed I've raved enough for today ...
Eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - Fuit porridge 2pts, skim milk 0.5pts
SNACK - 50g rice chips 3pts
LUNCH - 1cup pasta 2.5pts, tomato & gherkin 0pt, ww mayo 0.5pts
SNACK - cereal bar 2pts, 5 prunes 1pt, popcorn 1.5pts
DINNER - Trimpork butterfly steak 3pts, roast pumpkin 0pt, roast potato 2pts, mixed veges 0pts
Total ... 18pts/22pts
Saved ... 4pts
Total saved 4pts
Water ... 3.5 glasses
Exercise ... 5pts 40min Gym workout
Total bonus points ... 5pts
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.9kg
GW 65kg

Yay we're up and away again .. finally

I dont believe this site is actually up and running again... sorry to all you who tried to view my daily ramble but couldnt get into it. I had better hurry up and get this up before the site goes down again...
I am feeeling alot better about myself today. After reading Jo's entry about her sister in law not noticing (or at least saying) anything about her fantastic losses makes me realise it happens to everyone, and it is my mothers problem not mine. And that's where I have to leave it! With her!
I did an update on my website (as you have all probably noticed already) to include some recent pics. Long time coming I know. There are two on the front page and a new link to an online photo album. I'm really kicking myself knowing I dont have a very good start weight photo now. Hoping to order one from the photographer of my cousins wedding where I was a bridesmaid (at my fattest state). I regret the fact that I hated the camera so much back then... wish I had more photos... oh well!
Thankyou to the people who emailed me after my disasterous weekend!! Quite surreal looking back on it now. Stupid how it effects me so much what my mother thinks. That's life I guess.
Eating has been good except for being a little low on the fruit.
Yesterdays food ...
BREAKFAST - lite popcorn (yeah yeah I know, but better than birthday cake I could have had!!) 1pt
LUNCH - Satay Subway 6pts
SNACK - Tiny piece of Birthday cake 1pt (yeah yeah I know, but better than having the remainder half of the birthday cake I could have had!!)
DINNER - Potato 2pts, smoked chicken 3.5pts, baked beans 4pts, veges 0pts, cheese 3pts
SNACK - cereal bar 2pts
TOTAL - 22.5pts (-0.5pts, 1pt left in pts bank)
EXERCISE - Gym workout - 6pts
WATER - 6 glasses!!
Off to the gym tonight for another workout. At the end of this week will make it 5 days out of 7 exercised... perfect!!
Have just joined up for the Winter Challenge on the SFL site. Great idea!! I just set myself a goal of what I want to lose over a 12wk period and see how close I get to it. With it being so hard to keep motivated over winter this is just what I need to kick start my motivation! Big thanks to Anne for organising it. www.slimmingforlife.com.au for anyone interested in her site.
Well that's all from me for today!
Take care
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 91.9kg
GW 65kg

Keep going Lynette!!

Wow I can't believe how cold it is here!!! I'm sure I'm feeling it more with this extra weight gone. One of the drawbacks of losing weight I guess... small price to pay :)
You guys are awesome ... thankyou so much for your wonderful comments!! 95% of the reason I can keep so motivated is from you guys (not that I want to put any extra responsibility on your shoulders lol) but just to let each of you know how much it means to me when you leave comments! :) THANKYOU!!!!!!!
Well another piece of exciting news (other than my cool loss this week and becoming an 80's girl, all outlined in last nights entry) You know the size 16 jeans I bought off trademe site a few months back? The ones that I couldnt get past my THIGHS when I got them? ... Well I am officially wearing them today!!! Admittedly they are a still a little tight but I had no problems doing them up this morning ... Fantastic!! Size 16!!! wahooo!! Starting off at a size 24 in January means I have dropped 4 dress sizes in 6mths ... I feel so damn slim today lol :) I'm aware not to get complacent. Even with my good week this last week, I can't give up now, gotta keep truckin on!
Off to the gym tonight for a step class (they really get me working)
There was a poster at the gym the other day for a 12wk body challenge... here's the link for their website. I'm nowhere near being able to join it for this year but oh boy look at those great bodies!! And to see where they have come from, makes it seem doable. I am seriously thinking about doing it next year. It's free to enter but don't know if I'm too keen on drinking 'protein shakes' and taking suppliments. They say you dont have to but yeah right ,... like the sponser is gonna choose anyone who hasnt used their product as the winner lol.
Figure I have a lot more to lose yet before I can start getting finicky about my muscles... but will give me something to inspire me once I get to goal.
I have been a little worried about this ... getting to goal! I keep very motivated while I have a goal infront of me to achieve and I have no doubts I will get there. But I'm scared that once I get to goal I will think 'now what?' and lose all motivation to keep on track. So in answer to this problem will be to enter this 12wk body challenge and start working on body building. I don't want to get to a 'butch' state where I have no boobs and huge 'punga' thighs!!! lol but to be able to see a photo of myself as a trim, toned, drop dead goergous body ... wahoooo!! Ohhh to dream lol ... one day :)
Eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - 2x bread 2pts, jam 0.5pts
SNACK - yoghurt 1pt
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, cottage cheese 0.5pts, 5 mussles 1pt, salad veges 0pts
DINNER - Vegetarian chow mein 5pts, steamed rice 2.5pts
SNACK - cereal bar 2pts
Total ... 16.5pts
Saved ... 1.5pts
Total saved for week 0.5pts
Water ... 6 glasses
Exercise ... 12km walk 9pts
Total bonus points ... 44pts
As the start of the week today it's a clean slate. I can't let my good work from last week roll over in my mind and make me think I can keep losing with no effort. I'm back up to 22pts this week and will try to keep up my level of exercise.
Keep going Lynette!!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.9kg
GW 65kg

Another 12km walk completed :)

****************UPDATE***********
Just got home from weigh in ... OH MY FRIGGIN GOODNESS ... I LOST 2.2KG!!! cant believe it! Was hoping for a loss but definately wasnt expecting that much!!! Over the moon! This puts me to 89.9kg ... You saw right ... I'm an 80's girl!! Theres something about that figure that just says overweight not OBESE!! ... 2.2kg is the most I have ever lost since I started in January, even in my first and second week I only lost 1.6kg ... Feeling fantastic right now!!!
****************UPDATE***********


Wow its cold here today!! It's 9am here and I have just come back from another 12km walk :) I took Jese with me in the pushchair for half of it. I think he really enjoyed it but got cold (even with being rugged up with jackets and blankets) so I brought him home and set out again. My hips were alot better this time, just got plagued with blisters. I really don't know how I'm going to make 21.5km without getting blisters. Maybe if I put plasters on every part of my feet that could possibly get a blister I might be okay.
So that's 2 x 12km walks this week. According to the training schedule on the marathon site I am ready to do the 21.5kms now. But will keep going to improve my speed. My goal is to finish the 21.5kms in 4hrs or less... pushing it I know.
Went to the gym yesterday and did my regular workout. I tallyed up all the calories I burnt throughout the workout and by the end had ridden myself of 390 calories (thats over 1600kj) working out at 6pts. On the slide calculator it worked out the same so shows that thing does actually work.
Weigh in tonight, bit nervous. I should be okay, have done everything 100% right this week, but I just dont know anymore. Let you know tommorow.
Eating for yesterday...
BREAKFAST - English muffin 2pts, Egg 1pt, tomato & mushrooms 0pts
SNACK - whoops missed this one
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, salmon 2.5pts, mustard pickles 0.5pt, salad veges 0pts
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
DINNER - trim lamb 2pts, rice 2.5pts, 10g raisons 0.5pt, veges 0pts
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
Total 14pts/18
Saved 4pts/-1 left to save
Water ... only 4 glasses :(
Exercise ... 6pts gym workout
Total Bonus Points ... 35pts + todays 9pts = 44pts


Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 89.9kg
GW 65kg

Bend it like Beckham ... go see it!!!

Went to the gym yesterday and really found it hard work (which I guess is a good thing) Think my muscles are still tired from my long walk the other day. Going back again today ... geez I'm a sucker for punishment lol.
I felt really fat yesterday, not sure why... I hope I dont have a gain this week, I dont deserve a gain but I just cant tell what my body is doing at the moment.
Watched a couple of dvds last night with Bill. First time in a very long time we have sat down and watched some movies together. Gave me a good chance to get all my water in too :)
We watched 'Swimfan' ... a thriller ... good but very predictable and got bored with the storyline about half way through.
And 'Bend it like Beckham' FANTASTIC FILM!! Loved it!! Gave a real insight into the Indian community that I had never seen before ... funny and lighthearted ... a real good girlyflick but in saying that Bill enjoyed it too. Very clean movie as well (you could watch this with your parents in the room and not be embarrased lol)
There's my film reviews for the day lol
My eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - cereal 1.5pts, milk 0.5pt, bread 1pt, cheese 0.5pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pts
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, tuna 0.5pt, salad veges 0pts
SNACK - ww muffin 2.5pts
DINNER - potato 1pt, steak 3pts, veges 0pts
SNACK - custard 2.5pts, 100g icecream 2pts
Total ... 17.5pts/18
Saved ... 0.5pt/-5 left to work off (hmmm don't think I'm gonna make this before wed weighin)
Water ... 6 glasses
Exercise ... Gym workout 7pts
Total Bonus points earnt ... 29pts
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.1kg
GW 65kg

I DID IT!!!

I DID IT!!! ... I walked 12.5km yesterday! ... but I am certainly paying for it today. My hips are what finally gave out. I looked like a waddling duck by the time I reached home. The distance from my friends house to home was shorter than I expected so I had to walk an extra 1km up the road and back to make it up to 11.5km then walked an extra round the block before home for the last km... wow cant believe I actually made it that far and it took me 2hrs 15mins.
One thing I have DEFINATELY decided ... THERE IS NO WAY ON EARTH I AM RUNNING ANY OF THAT HALF MARATHON!! It brought it home to me yesterday how far 21.5km actually is!!! A damn long way!!!!! I look at it this way... I'm not worried about the speed I do I just want to make it to the other end ALIVE!! so there's no need to run it this time. I'll leave that challenge for another half marathon! :)
Eating was pretty good yesterday ... although I ended up walking on an empty stomach. I didn't want to eat lunch before I left so didnt get to eat lunch till 4pm. I went 1pt over but figured I deserved the extra point with all my walking! lol
BREAKFAST - 2x crumpets 2pts, banana 1pt
SNACK - half banana 0.5pts, Apple 0.5pts
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, 100g shrimps 1pt, cheese 1pt, ww mayo 0.5pt
DINNER - pasta 2.5pts, veges 0pts, vege sensation sachet 0.5pt, ham 0.5pt, 50g shrimps 0.5pts, Evaporated milk 1pt, ricotta cheese 2pts
SNACK - custard 2.5pts, lite icecream 1pt
Total ... 19pts/18
Saved ... -1/-5.5pts
Water ... 6 glasses
Exercise ... 12.5km walk (2hrs15mins) 9pts
Total bonus points ... 22pts
Bill is home for the next three days. He doesnt believe in holidays tho ... already its only 8.30am and he is vacuuming the house, polishing tables .. you name it ... he doesnt know how to relax. Used to make me stressed because I felt guilty for not working like him but now I have come to accept thats just him.
At least I should have a tidy house for the next few days!! :)
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.1kg
GW 65kg

I am getting so excited with my website/journal ... I just love doing it!!

Well I am totally addicted to HTML coding now. I spent the whole of yesterday and into the night doing a self taught lesson on how to write HTML.
Initially, I was a little disappointed with this site how it didnt have a space for you readers to leave comments. I really enjoyed that part of MDD. It made it seem like a whole community, sometimes provoking real debates on topics. After a little research I learnt that I could put a 'tagboard' on here which did just that (and even included smiley faces... cute huh?), but I had to do it via HTML. Learning some basics meant I could also include links at the bottom for my website, guestbook and an email link. It took me all day to do just these simple things but ohh so much fun!!!
So if you are visiting, leave me a message to say you were here. It's quick, easy and if you want a link to your homepage just put it in and it makes your name an active link. (have a look at my name on the tagboard, links to my website). But this is totally optional, you don't have to give any email or URL if you don't want to.
I also changed the measurements chart on my site from an image (imported) to an HTML table (using HTML coding). This was really tricky (well for me) but means it is clearer and quicker for you guys to download the page. Hmmmm .... what else can I do?? lol
Yesterday was also successful eating wise...
I stuck to my points all day (infact was able to save a couple), drank all 6 glasses of water (a little sculling was done at the end of the day lol) and fitted in a 45min workout at the gym. I spent it on the cycle machine and the treadmill. I had a challenge to try and run 3.6km on the treadmill, to see if I could catch up to my cousin (who is doing the half marathon with me in August). I had these crazy thoughts that I could possibly run it ... but NOOOO! lol
I only managed to run 4-5mins at a time before my muscles just gave out. The good thing, it wasn't my puffing that stopped me, just muscle fattigue.
I'm planning on doing a 12km walk today ... Bill is going to drive me 12km from home and drop me off so I can walk home. Hope I make it lol.
My eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - Porridge 2pts, milk 0.5pts, 5 prunes 1pt
SNACK - yoghurt 1pt
LUNCH - bread 2pts, mustard pickles 0.5pt, ricotta cheese 1pt, salad 0pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
DINNER - smoked chicken 1.5pts, brown rice 5pts, veges 0pts, parmission cheese 0.5pts
Total ... 15.5pts/18
Saved ... 2.5pts/ -4.5pts total deficit
Water ... 6 glasses
Exercise ... 45min gym workout 6pts
Total bonus points ... 13pts
With sticking to a menu plan this week instead of just eating I have noticed I have been eating more points earlier in the day than I usually do. Maybe that is something to do with why my losses have slowed down in the past... I'm having too many points late at night, then sleeping on a full stomach. I still panic a little when I run out of points, probably the reason why I subconsously save them for the end of the day, but probably not a good thing. Something I'm going to have to closely look at.
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.1kg
GW 65kg

Appreciation of the breath of life

Yesterday went perfectly eatingwise :)
Started off at 5.30am with a gym workout. On the treadmill I did 6mins (out of 10mins) running! That's the longest I have been able to last.
A friend who is doing the half marathon with me reckons she can run 3.6km at a time so that will be my little competition for the next while.
So far I am loving this diary-x site... what a sence of relief to see it up and running everytime I come here and it's very user friendly. I know it doesn't have the comments section at the bottom like the old one but anyone feel free to fire an email through (from my website) if you have any comments ... I love getting feedback!! even if it is just a couple of words commenting on something I mentioned.
I spent the whole day yesterday transfering files over to another diary site to decide 2hrs later that I didnt actually like it ... lol. Yes I'm an artyfarty perfectionist type :)
Then I found this one ... so much better! And don't you like how the colours match in with my website? cool huh?
Ok ... on with yesterday ... my water was A+ with 7 glasses consumed!! And my eating was even better ... stuck to the 18pts and even saved 1.5pts to help with my -8.5pt defecit. I ate all my food groups, and ate regularly through the day, not saving most of my points for dinner like I usually do ... yay!
Eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - Egg 1pt, english muffin 2pts, Apple 0.5pt
SNACK - 10x rice crackers 1pt
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, baked beans 1.5pts, salad 0pt
SNACK - half banana 0.5pt, milk 1pt, petit miam 1pt
DINNER - fish 1.5pts, 4 scallops 0.5pt, 60g rice 2.5pts, veges 0pt
SNACK - 50g lite icecream 1pt, half banana 0.5pt
Total - 16.5pts/18
Saved - 1.5pts/-7
Exercise - Gym workout 7pts
Total bonus points - 7pts
Water - 7 glasses
When Bill got home last night at 10.30pm he rushed through the door telling me to turn the radio on ... there was a plane crash just out of Christchurch at 7.30pm with 8 people dead. At 5.30pm I had dropped my cousin and his wife off to the airport for a 6pm flight to Christchurch. There was panic for us both as we tried to find out more info!! After looking up the nzoom.com site we realised it was a private chartered plane travelling from Palmerston North, not Auckland... a mixed sence of relief yet compassion for the families of those who were in the plane. Situations like this really make you look hard at your life and give you an appreciation for the simple act of breathing!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.1kg
GW 65kg

starting a new diary site

Well so much for me being motivated this week!! After deciding to going down to 18pts this week ... day 1 ... I failed!!!! 18pts is just so low and to top it off Bill invited some people over for dinner at 4pm yesterday so I didnt have any chance to save up any points for the day. And that damn wine!! Well and truelly over!! Because I had to rush in to do grocery shopping and rush home to cook a flash dinner, time ran out for the gym. As for drinking ALL my water all week ... well I failed at that too!!! Geeesh I suck!!
The only good things I have done so far ... I drank 5 glasses of water and went to the gym at 5.30 this morning. Well that makes up for not going yesterday because today was supposed to be my day off for exercise. And I managed to get to the supermarket so I am ready and prepared to face the rest of the week.
Here's my eating for yesterday (block all sensitive eyes)
BREAKFAST - egg 1pt, milk 1pt, tomato sauce 0.5pt
SNACK - lite popcorn 1pt
LUNCH - baked potato 4pts, pumpkin 0pts, cooking spray 0.5pts
SNACK - perssimon 1pt, chupa chup 0.5pt
DINNER - vege sensation sachet 0.5pt, pasta 3.5pts, milk 0.5pt, pasta sauce 1pt, veges 0pts, salad 0pts
SNACK - nannas waffles 1.5pts, petit miam 1pt, banana 1pt, custard 0.5ptALCOHOL - wine 7.5pts!!!!!! I blew it on this one
Total - 19pts + 7.5pts = 26.5pts
Saved ... -8.5pts
Exercise - nothing yesterday
Water - 5 glasses
I was really down yesterday about trying so hard last week and not getting the results I wanted. So last night I decided 'stuff the world, stuff this stupid lard that wont move, stuff ww' and drank a whole bottle of wine (with a bunch of friends of course)... this morning I was regretting this decision a little but have decided to move on, starting with my gym workout this morning and so far have eaten well today (mind you it's only 10.30am) but have drunken half my water already.
To be honest I am really finding having to decide on what to eat quite difficult. I loved the first 16wks where I got told what to eat, when to eat and how to eat. Now I have to be a big girl and work it out for myself ... and it's so hard. I'm not very creative when it comes to dinners or breakfast and lunch either for that matter.
This week is good with my leader giving me a 'breaking through' booklet with a menu in the back of it. Maybe I should go from the menus in the back of the ww mag or buy some ww recipe books ... but it's all money. Maybe next week.
My diary site was down YET AGAIN!! grrrrrr ... So I have changed over to this other one that hopefully doesnt go down so often. For now I will post on both sites until I am sure the other one is not the same.
No business work to do today and house is reasonably tidy so a day off ... YAY!!
That's all from me ...
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.1kg
GW 65kg

plan of attack

Ok I am determined to do this ...
I have decided for this week to go down to 18pts each day, keep up the same amount of exercise (5 days a week), drink ALL my water, measure & weigh everything I eat! And I had better have a loss next week and a damn good one too :)
I have just joined up for the winter challenge on the SFL site and have pledged that I will lose 6kg by the end of August. That's 12weeks away.
I'm still feeling positive about my gain this week... would have been MORE excited with a loss but given my measurements, I have to look at the big picture to know my body IS shrinking. And in the end thats what counts.
I still haven't had a chance to do the grocery shopping yet. The big plan is to get it done tonight after Bill gets home from work. So I can have lots of healthy food in the cupboard.
I got home from ww last night and the meal Bill was supposed to have cooked for me had just gone down HIS THROAT!! lol He ate my dinner!!! And it was 8.30pm already so I didnt have a chance (and was too tired) to cook a whole new dinner. So just had a serving of steak and a bowl of lite icecream and banana (not together!!) I know it's not the best choice, and meant I was 7.5pts under for the day. BUT ...
Today is a clean slate. I'm gonna do this!! Doesnt help the day with no food here but will have to make do with what I have in the cupboard.
Eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - baked beans 1.5pts, english muffin 2pts
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - baked potatoes 2pts
SNACK - milk 0.5pts
DINNER - steak 3pts
SNACK - lite icecream 2.5pts banana 1pt
Total - 13pts
Exercise - Gym workout 8pts (total 36pts for the week)
Water - 6 glasses
Here's to today!!! *chink*
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.1kg
GW 65kg

Celebrating after a 200g Gain :)

I am motivated more than ever to lose this weight but even more than that ... to be slim!! There is a difference between the words "lose weight" and "be slim". Something I relearnt tonight...
I just got home from my weight watchers meeting where it was realised that I had a 200g Gain! AND I'M CELEBRATING!!!
Yes you read right ... I had a 200g gain this week!! At first I was devestated and felt really undeserving of such a gain, but after talking to my leader and showing her my tracker (of which I did nothing wrong) and did increased exercise (36 bonus points earnt), she pointed out to me that it must be muscle (yeah, yeah we've heard it all before) but think of it this way ... (hence my celebration!!) Imagine how much muscle I would have to build up in one week to counterclaim the lost fat I had as well as 200g extra weight???? That's a huge amount of muscle!!! To confirm my leaders suspicians I went home to take my measurements and yes sure enough this is the evendence ...
In one week I have lost ...
1cm off my upper arm
1cm off my chest
0.5cm off my waist
1cm off my abdomen
1.5cm off my hips!!!
and 1cm off my thigh!!
All in one week I tell ya!!!! That's a huge amount (If I don't say so myself) and gotta be worth a celebration!!!
Too many times we get caught up in what those horrible scales say and don't look at what our bodies are actually doing. For those who dont take measurements ... you gotta do it!!! for times when the scales don't show your hard earned efforts!!!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.1kg
GW 65kg

arrggghhh ... no food

Lucky I updated when I did yesterday because this site went down again straight after. If I keep having problems I may have to swap to another diary site.
Eating is going to be hard today. I have no bread or cereal in the house, and I cant do shopping until tommorow. Lucky I had a can of baked beans in the pantry for brekkie. Looks like it might be baked potatos for lunch (not that Im complaining about that, I love baked potatos) but it means I find it hard getting all my vege servings in and puts my carbos up for the day.
I found a really interesting article on how certain foods fill you up for longer and stop you feeling hungry. Not sure to what extent to take this. I mean we could go crazy and scientifically analyse everything we eat (as it is I weigh everything I eat). I'm a podantic person who is never satisfied just eating... I have to study and analyse what I am doing. At times I get frustrated with myself making the simplest tasks so overcomplicated, but I like to know I am doing it 'right', whatever right is... lol. Anyway here's the addy for the article if anyone is interested. http://www.mendosa.com/satiety.htm
My gym workout last night was really hard. I thought I was gonna keel over! I don't know why. The only thing I can think of ... I have uped my level of intensity in the weights room (100% cardio) and maybe my muscles were still fatigued from that. They weren't sore but felt heavy and had no energy. I made it tho and gave myself an extra couple of bonus points for the extra effort I had to put in ... hehe!
Weigh in tonight and I'm feeling bloated today so not sure if that will have a negative effect on the scales. Maybe :( Think I have done well all week (especially in the exercise department) and my water has been good for most of the week (averaging 4-6 glasses per day) sugar points up very slightly @ 15.5pts for the week. My total points are 5pts under for the week so all in all ... hmmm ... let me think ... might mean a very small loss, but really dont know. I'll let you all know tommorow :)
Eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - K Time Bar 1.5pts
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, salad veges 0pts, lite cream cheese 1pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt
DINNER - Smoked chicken 6pts, 60g pasta 2.5pts, lite cream cheese 2pts, milk 1pt, brocolli/cauli/mushroom/onion/peas 0pts
TOTAL - 16.5pts (whoops little on the low side)
SAVED - 4pts (total saved 5pts)
WATER - 4 glasses
EXERCISE - Gym workout 8pts (total bonus points 26)
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 91.9kg (weigh in tonight)
GW 65kg

I don't give a shit!

I gave my parents yet another chance to acknowledge and compliment my weightloss and yet again ... they refused!! ... this time I actually showed them a certificate awarded to me by weight watchers congratulating me on losing 15kg. Their comments consisted of "oh okay" That's it??? "oh okay???" No 'fantastic, well done, we're proud of you, great work, you look stunning' nope ... nothing ... just 'oh okay' I was and still am totally pissed!!! No matter what I do or achieve in life they refuse to give any possitive feedback whatsoever and it really annoys the shit out of me!!!
And to top it off my daughter let it slip to my mother that "I go outside for a cigerette". Her reaction was a horrified one. You have to understand my parents... we are talking about strict pastors here, lifelong christians. As stupid as this sounds and I hate admitting it ... I am nearly 30 yrs old and still feel the need to be accepted by my parents. I hate it ... it feels like a noose around my neck!! I have never had the acceptance especially from my mother. I was always the ugly duckling of the family with the older more talented, skinnier, brainier sister who successfully studied to become a wealthy accountant. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and she has done nothing wrong in this situation, it is totally my mothers doing. I was never good enough for her, never recieved any words of encouragement or acceptance. I know they loved me from their provisions. I was clothed, fed and given birthday presents etc but was never told how good I did anything, never told "I love you and am proud of you" NEVER!. I don't usually wallow in this thought choosing to ignore it and put it behind me, focusing instead on my wonderfully encouraging husband who loves me to bits!! But some days it just gets to me.
I have always been too scared to tell my parents that I smoke... infact have been smoking for 10yrs now. Not heavily but that is the way I relieve my stress, my time out. My mother scorned me ... saying how bad it was, expensive and don't ever put that stuff in your system, it kills you ... blah blah blah. What made me sick in this whole conversation was the fact that she is severly obese (around 140kg/308lbs) and is diabetic yet still feeds her face with sugary cakes and fatty foods. In my eyes that is just as bad as the occasional cigerette. It makes me so angry with christianity, it is such a HUGE sin to smoke... sometimes it seems worse than lieing, stealing or even murder. A smoker is doomed to go to hell. I am not hurting anyone, nor wrongly effecting anyones lives... it's just my way of saying ... hey Im not coping, I need to get out of here for 10mins and chill out.
Part of me is reilived that the secret is out but I am still angry as ever that I let them control my life so much. I honestly dont think it will ever change until the day they die. I got stressed out today that I just wanted to eat, eat, eat!!! The first time I have felt that out of control with eating in a very long time(since I started ww 5mths ago). I managed to stop after 10 chips... just! I big success... but sometimes I wonder why I am doing this ... why am I trying to succeed? Who am I trying to please? My husband loves me the way I am and there is no way in hell my parents are EVER going to accept me, no matter how skinny I am... so why bother? This has really shocked me into a self doubt phase... made me look at my motivation and reasons for trying to get where I am going. I didnt ever think it was for my parents acceptance but maybe it really was, deep down. Otherwise I wouldnt be feeling like this.
Eating for today ... (as best as I could estimate)
cereal & milk 2pts, sushi 2pts, rice chips 4pts, potato 1pt, tomato sauce 0.5pts, potato chips 2pts, bread 2pts, lite cream cheese 1pt, asparagas 0pts, lite dip 2pts, peas 0pt, vege sticks 0pt, lite icecream 2.5pts, fruit salad 1pt, birthday cake 4pts, ww jelly 0pts
Total 24pts (2 saved pts used/ 1.5pts left in bank)
Water 6 glasses (one good thing for today)
Exercise - 45mins gym workout (another good thing) 5pts
Total 12 bonus points saved
I dont really give a shit!
Lyn

Indifference

Can't believe my baby is turning 1yr old tommorow!! He is growing up far too fast. He's been walking for about a month now getting into daddy's Xbox and other 'don't touch' items.
My eating was relatively good yesterday until Bill came home and informed me his cashflow card wasnt where I told him it was. We spent the next hour pulling the car apart trying to find it, without any luck. Don't think it has been stolen but can't seem to find it anywhere. Bill got it cancelled just in case, just our luck it will turn up today. The problem is... it's a long weekend and I haven't gotten round to putting a pin number on my card yet. With the banks closed till Tuesday means we have no money for the holiday weekend. Normally this would be okay except the fact we are having Jesurun's first birthday on Sunday!!! I haven't even bought his present yet!!
We had no food in the house last night so had to send Bill in to do the grocery shopping with a chequebook. They would only take cheques from him and I hate it when I can't do the shopping myself. As much as he tried to shop for the right things it just wasn't right. We have stuff we dont need and stuff he didnt get that we do need.

Originally today was supposed to be my day off for exercise, then I woke up at 5.30am this morning and decided to get up and go for a run before Bill started work. Was halfway through getting dressed and realised I was hungover. Havent been hungover in years. Not badly but enough to decide to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep. I think my body needed it :)
Eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - cereal & milk 2pts
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt, 15 rice crackers 1.5pts
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, 2x eggs 2pts
SNACK - jelly & fruit 1.5pts
PRE DINNER PICKING - cheese 2pts, 10 rice crackers 1pt
DINNER - Kantong curried prawns & rice 4pts
DRINKS - Rum and Diet cokes 6pts
Total - 22.5pts (-0.5pt saved pts used/3pts left)
WATER - 4 glasses
SUGAR PTS - 6 (total 6)
EXERCISE - none (day off)
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 91.9kg
GW 65kg

I feel loved :)

What a surprise!! Bill brought me home a huge bunch of flowers, a 'That's Life' Magazine, $15 to spend on whatever and a foil balloon saying 'I Love You' ... awwww ... he has never done anything like that before and all for no reason other than the fact that he loves me!! :D And the flowers were 'florist' flowers not some half dead weeds from a service station! A huge thing for him to do!! I felt so loved!! The only other time he has brought home flowers has been because we have had a barney or because he felt guilty for something ... but not this time ... just because he wanted to say how much he loves me and to congratulate me on how well I am doing on my weightloss!! A real sweety!!!
I had a good friend email me yesterday to 'tell me off' about my eating the last few days. She is totally right and so glad she did. It would have been easy to just push it all under the rug as yesterdays news but with her email it pointed it out to me what I was actually doing. The last week or so I havent been eating very regularly and when I have eaten it hasnt been very good choices. Rice chips for lunch one day for example... somedays no fruit, little vegetables and my water has been way down. So I have taken it on board to put a concerted effort into eating regularly and the right foods... thanks Sange!! It's good to know there are people out there looking out for me and ready to give me a virtual boot up the bum... anyone else can feel free to email me anytime to do the same thing if you see me going off track a little. I wont be offended ... we are all here for eachother!!
Consequently I think my eating, water and exercise was excellent for yesterday. Just down a couple of points but that's no major ...
BREAKFAST - cereal bar 2pts
SNACK - 15 rice crackers 1.5pts, jelly and fruit 1.5pts
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, salad veges 0pts, 2x eggs 2pts, ww mayo 0.5pt
SNACK - Apple 0.5pt, Persimmon 1pt
DINNER - chicken drumstick (with skin) 2.5pts, coleslaw (cheese 2pts, dressing 2pts), potato 1pt, cauliflour and brocolli 0pts, parmison cheese 1pt
TOTAL - 19.5pts
WATER - 6 glasses!!!
EXERCISE - Gym class 7pts
A very nice day!!!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 91.9kg
GW 65kg

finally

I had an 800g loss!! yay!! I have officially lost 15.5kg now! So have added another gold star to my bookmark and website. Onto my next mini goal ... becoming an 80's girl!! (89.9kg) 2kgs to go! Theres something about breaking that 90kg barrier. To me anothing above 90kg is obese!!! but anything in the 80's is
just overweight. I am starting to notice the difference in the reflection looking back at me. From my waist up I look 'normal' just got to work on these hips and thunder thighs, although even they are looking much better.
Nearly caught up on all my business work after being sick a couple of weeks ago. Just have a set of 45 invites to have out this week and a Thankyou card sample, I think I am nearly on top of it all.
Back to the gym tonight and home for a business consultation straight after so a busy night ahead. I would have been to the gym 4 days in a row today. Doing well. My water was bad yesterday again (only 3 glasses) I am really finding water hard with this cold weather.
EATING FOR YESTERDAY ...
BREAKFAST - 60g cereal and skim milk 3.5pts
LUNCH - 100g rice chips 6pts
SNACK - cereal bar 1.5pts
DINNER - 2x chicken drums (with skin) 5pts, 120g brown rice 5pts, pasta sauce 1pt, potato flakes 1pt, veges 0pts
TOTAL - 23pts (used 1 saved pt, had 5.5pts saved)
WATER - 3 glasses
EXERCISE - Gym 8pts (total bonus pts 33)
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 91.9kg
GW 65kg

4 compliments in one day

Yesterday was a rewarding day for me. I had 4 people in one day compliment me on my weightloss. I went into The warehouse where I used to work 6yrs ago and had 3 people tell me how great I was looking, asking if I had lost weight. Bill and I worked out this is the slimmest I have been in 7yrs(since Lauren was born). And also had someone from Bills work say how much weight I had lost. Funny how it all comes in one day. Other days when I needed a little encouragement no one says anything. Guess I have to bank some of this motivation for later on when I need it.
The size 18 pants I bought 5wks ago are starting to get loose on me... a nice sign.
All this points toward a loss this week but again dont like to get my hopes up. Im guessing a small loss of around 200-300g but who knows? Weigh in tonight, nervous and excited. I'm really hanging out for this 15kg loss goal. (300g off at the moment)
Went to the gym last night for a step class. Bounced my way through the whole class doing hi impact for 95% of it. Then again went at 5.30am this morning. Gave it 100% effort but couldnt quite do the same amount of hi impact this morning. Still left red faced and sweaty so I am pleased with my efforts.
Eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - apple 0.5pt
LUNCH - baked beans 1.5pts, 2x bread 2pts, cheese 1.5pts
DINNER - ham 0.5pt, potato 2pts, kumera 1pt, cheese 2pts, butter chicken sauce 2pts, veges 0pts
DRINKS - 4x rum and diet cokes 4pts
Total 17pts (saved 4pts total saved 5.5pts)
Water - 4 glasses
Exercise - Gym class 9pts (total 25pts)
Was down on my eating and water yesterday. Got really busy. And finished the day off with a few drinks at home with Bill. Did well on that part, kept it under my sugar points for the week.
Concentrating on my fruit intake today (has been down the last few days) and of course my water (as always)
Wish me luck with weigh in tonight!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.7kg
GW 65kg

talk, talk, talk

Well so much for yesterday being an exciting day ... it was very stressful.
The appointment we had with the agent to look at houses ended up being at 3.30pm instead of the original 11am. This meant we had to take all 4 kids along. We were only meant to be 5mins in the house so decided to leave Lauren in the car with the others to keep an eye on them. But the lady wouldnt stop talking. My goodness she went on and on and on with verbal direah like I have not heard before. On and on about nothing. We kept saying we had to go because the kids were in the car (just outside the door) but she wouldnt stop. In the end Bill said "look lady I got kids in the car I HAVE to go" and he left to see to the kids who were by then getting rather destressed. Then I was in there on my own (great!!). I finally got out of there an HOUR after we first walked in. She totally put us off going with their company. I was so strung out by the time I got home.
My gym assessment went well although I hadnt lost as much weight as I had hoped. My resting rate bpm had gone down 4 beats per minute to 60bpm. The lady said averages range from 60 - 85bpm so looks like I am quite fit. My weight had gone down 3.75kg since my last assesment 6wks ago and I had lost 8cm off my waist!! Was really cool to see her so excited with my progress. I guess I am pretty hard on myself wanting perfect results. Still a good effort and I have to be happy with that.
My eating was good but water was down again yesterday. I find unless I concentrate on getting all my water in, it just doesnt happen. Any day I am busy or out of my normal routine I just cant do it.
Heres my eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - cereal and skim milk 2pts
SNACK - cereal bar 1.5pts
LUNCH - english muffin 2pts
SNACK - rice chips 3pts
DINNER - lean beef 4pts, pasta sauce 1pt, coconut cream 2pts, 120g pasta 5pts, veges 0pts
(no late time snack went to bed early)
Total - 20.5pts (saved 1.5pts)
Water - 4 glasses
Exercise - 1hr15min gym workout - 5pts (total for week - 16pts)
Funny thing happened with a communication error! I have been really stressed with Bill working so many hours lately. He's been doing up to 60hrs a week. I was really upset when he said he was going into to work at 4am this morning. I went bizurk at him! He looked at me really confused "but you want me to do all these hours, you worked out our budget at me working 55hrs!" No, the only reason I had worked the budget out on that was because that was the hours he had done for the last couple of weeks. Apparently he didnt want to do that many hours but thought to get this house and the budget I had done meant he HAD to do them. And I thought it was his work making him do that many. Turns out because we both didnt sit down and discuss it he had been doing crazy hours for the last 4wks for NOTHING! lol The good thing being he can finally go back to just 45hrs ... bout time!! lol
So it pays to talk about things like that when you are really annoyed about something. We had talked about it and he knew I hated him working all those hours but thought I still wanted the new house so bad that I wanted him to work more. I do want the house but not bad enough to not have my husband around. The house can wait for a little bit, at least then we will have a life back.
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.7kg (weigh in tommorow night)
GW 65kg

exciting day ahead

Well I was a very good girl yesterday and did everything I promised I would do. Consequently today I feel very slim :) Funny how that one day I can feel fat and the very next day feel slim!
Here's my eating for yesterday ...
BREAKFAST - 2 x bread 2pts, jam 0.5pts, banana 1pt
SNACK - ww muffin 2.5pts
LUNCH - 2x bread 2pts, sw chilli sauce 0.5pts, cheese 2pts, veges 0pts
SNACK - 2x manderin 1pt
DINNER - 2x chicken drums (no skin) 3pts, kumera 1pt, pasta sauce 0.5pt,
brown rice 2.5pts, potato flakes 0.5pt, veges 0pts, diet coke (in casserole)0pt
SNACK - lite icecream 2pts, fruit salad 0.5pt
Total - 22pts (0pt saved)
Water - 6 glasses
Exercise - 6pts - 1hr25min fast walking with pushchair and 2 kids (im sure that adds 10pts lol)
So yesterday I got the house tidy, load of washing done, exercise done, and water all consumed all while eating the food I should... yay me!
Off to have my 6wk gym assesment done today. Be interesting to see what weight I have lost in that time and what my new fitness levels are.
We are also meeting up with an agent to go through some more houses ... exciting day ahead! They have started building a new display home in the subdivision we are looking at. It looks really nice. Havent seen the floor plans yet but the fact that it has a chimney attracts me from the start. Bill says I'm so happy to please lol. Thats gotta be a good thing right? We are on a tight timeline for this house tho because everytime they open a new stage of sections the price goes up $20,000 so the sooner we can do it the better but we still have to finish saving the deposit (well still finish paying off the credit card too) Mum thinks we should just start now, put our name down to start building but I dont think we can do that till we have
approved finance but before we can have that we need a deposit ... all a big circle really. I really dont think we can do anything till we have that big $50,000 saved.
Well that's me for today,
have a great day
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.7kg
GW 65kg

Groundhog day

My eating was really good yesterday (considering days when I have the kids at home by myself I usually go offtrack a little)
BREAKFAST - 30g Berry Special K & skim milk - 2pts
SNACK - lite butter popcorn - 2pts
LUNCH - potato cakes (potato 2pts, cheese 1.5pts)
SNACK - small pear - 0.5pt
- ww muffin - 2.5pt
DINNER - 60g pasta 2.5pts, 100g smoked chicken 2.5pts, pineapple 1.5pts, kantong lite sweet & sour sauce 2pts
SNACK - 100g lite icecream 2pts, 2x ww cookies 1pt
Total - 22pts
Water - 3 glasses (bad, bad, very bad)
Exercise - none (also very bad) my excuse? was raining most of the day, at home with kids
Gonna go out today for a walk (its a lot sunnier today) I promise!!! And I will also drink all 6 glasses!!
Currently wearing my feel good pants. They are the ones I wore to weight watchers on my first meeting back in January. At that time they were skin tight!! Now I can pull them off without undoing the zip. They look terrible on me (like I've filled my pants) with them being so baggy but certainly makes me feel like I am getting somewhere. As long as no one turns up on the doorstep today wont matter what I look like. Just now that
Ive said that I bet someone WILL turn up lol.
Actually slept in till 8am this morning (that is a complete miracle for me) I have not been able to sleep in since I had kids. Even on days when Bill takes the kids out for me to sleep I just wake up anyway. So 8am is 1.5hrs later than I usually get up. Nice to have Lauren old enough now to get everyone breakfast, bottle for Jese and to feed him all before I get out of bed.
House is a mess again today even after tidying it yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before. Somedays I feel like it's Groundhog day here!! I get sick of tidying the house everyday to wake up and find it a mess again the next day. Why would anyone be so stupid as to have 4 kids?????? Somedays I question my sanity!!
Well better get onto tidying AGAIN!!!
Lyn :)
SW 107.4kg
CW 92.7kg
GW 65kg