IT GOT IT!!!!!

The phone rang ... and I just knew!!! So I wasn't surprised when I heard the voice on the other end introducing himself from Auckland Ambulance Head Quarters ...

"Congratulations! ... " I don't remember the rest of the conversation!! I am absolutely flabagastered, jumpin jimbo fantastically excitedly ... ecstatic!!!!!! I GOT THE JOB!!! WAHOOO I GOT THE FRIGGEN JOB!!! I can't believe after doing just under 3000 volunteer hours last year that I'm finally going to be paid to do the job I LOVE!!!!!!

WAFRAHIIGIN HOOOOOOO!!!!!

For the minor details .... start date 8 September, where? South Auckland, staying with a friend until I can find myself a good flat/boarding place, commuting back home on my days off ... 2 night shifts, 2 day shifts and 4 days off.

I'm a paid ambewance owfiser, I'm a paid ambewance owfiser, I'm a paid ambewance owfiser!!!! Heheh!!!!

nail biting stuff

Thankyou all so much for your support!! It means so much!

I haven't got much more to say but since it's been nearly a week since my last update I thought I'll keep you all posted as to what's happening ...

So what's happening?? lol ... nothing!! lol

I'm still waiting to hear back whether I got the job. I was told 2 weeks before I'd know and it has only been one week ... so I just sit and wait, and wait, and wait... nails getting shorter and shorter (no I'm just kidding, I'm not a nail biter)

I'll certainly keep you posted as soon as I know anything!!!

Glad it's over!!

Lucky!!! I made the decision a week ago to go up the night before and stay in a motel room!!! I got to Auckland and settled into my room, turned on the news to see that the Kaurangahake Gorge was CLOSED!!! (due to heavy rain, flooding and slips!!) If I hadn't have gone up early I wouldn't have made it in time!!

Feeling quite alone in my room I set out to Silvia Park Mall for dinner and to buy a few bits and pieces I hadn't got (an exercise top and breakie/lunch for the next day). I got told to eat carbs for my dinner meal before. Given I hadn't eaten carbs for the last 28 days I was a bit nervous at choosing a pasta meal. My tummy groaned for a bit afterwards but was fine.

I didn't sleep well waking up every hour from 3am onwards. At 6am I was up and having a shower making sure I didn't wet my hair (that had been straightened) or my ankle (that had been strapped just in case) so was a very tricky shower.

I left the motel room at 7.20am and made it to Head Quarters at 7.25am (35mins early). Much rather to be early than late. The rain was horrendous!! First up was a group Team exercise and fortunately was with a really great bunch who all worked well together. The comment was made afterwards how well we worked together (which was the whole point of the exercise) Check one done!!

We then went on a rotational basis for our next 5 assessments. First up for me?? THE PHYSICAL!!! Two of us were doing it together and with me was a huge 6ft guy!! Stretches (including the one I was nervous about putting one arm over my shoulder the other under and touching) done!!! Phew!! Step ups?? DONE!! Carry chairing a 70kg dummy up and down 3 flights of stairs twice!! DONE!! (harder than I thought it would be) Pressups?? DONE!! (and done easy thanks to my training) Walk around the block carrying 4 pieces of equipment??? Given I was with a 6ft guy I had to take 2 steps for every one of his which made me push myself a whole lot harder ... DONE!! And 30 secs UNDERTIME!!! I was so happy to have the physical out of the way ... AND PASSED!! YEEE HAHHHH!!!

Next ... My formal interview ... I answered my best. It was none of the questions I thought it would be but they commented on a lot of answers what a good answer that was and finished off how good it was that I gave so many examples of situations I had been in. They couldn't believe that I was a full time volunteer that didn't get paid!!

Next ... a 40minute drive on the motorway and around the suberbs. I nearly didn't completely stop at a stop sign because I was too busy chatting to the assessor but realised just in time!! Phew!!! Passed!!!

Then map reading exam ... yay another passed!!

Then the clinical ... 40mins of questions assessing my medical knowledge. There was only one question I struggled on which I got ... eventually. Thankfully the assessor gave me the time to think about it. He said at the end that I was the best he had in this intake of people ... another yay!!!

Then a psycho analysis ... just answered the best I could and no way of telling how I did on that one.

It was a full on day of intense assessments!!! But at the end of it I really felt I did the best I possibly could!! I gave 100 percent and wouldn't change a thing!!!

Now I have 2 weeks of waiting for the outcome. If I get accepted I have a start date of early September which is just over 4wks away!!

I was absolutely buzzing on my way home ... a good days hard work!! As I was driving home the first news report said the gorge was still closed!! I only had 1/4 tank of gas left just out of Paeroa ... if it was still closed I would have to go all the way down to Matamata, over the Kaimai's to Tauranga and home ... an extra 1.5hrs on my journey. Lucky the gas station at Paeroa was still open as I came through so I filled up. The guy there told me that he thought the gorge had just opened but wasn't sure. So I took the chance and YES fortunately it had just opened as I came through ...

... home!! Finally!!! And glad to be so!! What a day ... but a happy day!!!

Here we goooo!!!

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!! The day I go to Auckland, stay the night and have my interview first thing in the morning. I have to be at Head Quarters at 8am sharp! I've managed to get a room to stay just down the road from there and I'm really nervous already!!!

I've been given advice from EVERYBODY!! And I've decided that I can't do any more now for my interview. If I don't make the grade now then I never will. For the past 28 days I have dieted, walked my butt off, done hundreds of pressups, step ups, crunchies, studied and memorised my proceedures, practiced and practiced my questioning of a sick patient, practiced my answering of interview questions, practiced my cpr and practiced my mapreading ...

... and now I'm over it!! I'm practiced out! I'm dieted out! I'm exercised out!! For the next 36hrs I will do nothing ... no I correct that ... I'm doing one more walk tonight and then NOTHING!!

I have a list of things to pack and a list of things still to do ... including getting my hair done tomorrow, sorting my exercise outfit out, getting my ankle strapped by my physio and packing my bag.

I'M SO NERVOUS!!! Let's hope I can get these nerves under control by Wednesday morning!!

Oh and by the way ... weighin I was exactly the same again ... 99.8kg

Waiting Game

I got home on Thursday night, excited that the next day was D Day!! The day we would get the phone call whether our sale had gone unconditional ....

... sadly I got home to news from Bill that the agent had rang to say the buyers wanted more time to think about it. I was so angry I burst into tears!! How could this be?? Everything was going to plan so well!! I felt mucked around. Either it was yay or nay ... not a maybe, maybe not!!! It doesn't give me a good feeling.

I spent the night crying, and everytime I woke during the night, hoping it was all a bad dream the realisation that it wasn't a dream but reality sent me into another episode of crying.

Initially I was going to pull of my ambo shift on Friday but made the decision to carry on, knowing that sitting at home thinking about it all, would only make me worse.

So I turned up for duty on Friday with red, puffy eyes. My duty officer that day was very caring and listened to my blabbering, trying to add words of comfort.

Friday night was our ambulance awards dinner and I promised myself I wouldn't be focusing on the shop but enjoy myself, concentrating on my enjoyment of ambulance service.

We had a great night and I managed to keep my mind away from the disappointing news. Than an exciting unexpected thing happened ...

... I won the top award ... "Ambulance Officer of the Year" complete with certificate and trophy cup!! Yay!!!

And as far as my weighin ... I stayed the same this week ... which I'm ok about.

Now we continue to wait ... I HATE WAITING!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!

OHHH MY WEEK JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!!

Official weighin today .... At 5.50am getting up and ready for ambo duty today I hoped on the scales and my eyes jumped out of my scull like a cartoon character!!!

99.8kg!!!!!!

Can you believe it???? I'm struggling to .... I'M IN DOUBLE DIGITS!!!! FINALLY!!! After 18mths I'm finally under 100kgs!!! Ohhhhh those numbers looked so beautiful today!! I was dancing round the room singing 99.8 ... I'm 99.8 ... 99.8 ... I'm 99.8!!! While Bill trying to sleep grumbled at me ... I didn't care ... I'm 99.8!!!!

So in one week I lost 5kgs!!!!! exactly!! 104.8kg I was last Thursday. I've never lost that much weight in one week!!!! Shows what complete determination can achieve!!! And this is the most determined I've EVER been to lose weight!

And to top it off I was talking to the First Aid tutor here at the station this morning who lives in Auckland (there's a First Aid course being held at the station today) and we got talking about my Auckland application and she said if you need a place to stay on your days up there come stay with us. Absolutely perfect!!! She's with St Johns so she understands my work, they're a retired couple (so no late night parties to keep me awake) with no kids at home in a 4 bedroom house and they both work during the day (so I can sleep when I need to after night shift) and they were looking for a border!!! I can't believe it!! Fantastic!! Ohh and she's on a weightloss program too so no temptations!! She just has to go home to talk it over with hubby but she said she thinks it will work out perfectly!!! And she's a sweetie!!!

Ohhhh this is all just perfect!!!!! Doin the 90's girl jig today I tell ya!!!

You wouldn't believe it!!

And I thought things were looking great when I did my last post .... since then ...

I got a phone call on the ambulance from my station manager on Thursday to say someone from Auckland was trying to contact me and gave me his details ...

It was the Auckland job application ... I was so nervous making the phone call back to him ...

My ambo partner was quietly squeeling in the background ... she had to pull over she was beside herself ...

"Congratulations!! you have been shortlisted for your Auckland job application! We were inundated with hundreds of applications and well done you've made it to the final 20! Congrats!!" He started ...

I had to take a deep breath ... I couldn't believe it!!!!

He then proceeded to tell me about the 8hr interview I'll be having on the 30th July ... yep you read right .... 8 hours!!!!! I have to be at Mt Wellington HQ at 8am and it's over at 5pm!! Ohh my friggen goodness!!!

Here's whats involved ...

- a 45minute driving exam in an ambulance, both suburbian and motorway
- map reading exam
- group lateral thinking scenario and individual assessment afterwards
- literacy exam
- clinical exam
- resusitation scenario
- phsyco and ethical analysis

and ....

A 45 MINUTE PHYSICAL!!! including a 1km run with 20kgs worth of gear to carry, 25 pressups in 1 minute, 45 situps in one minute, 45 step ups, and a whole lot more stuff ...

I got off the phone and the other officer (who calls a spade a spade) says "Right you have some phone calls to make ... ring Bill, now ring Pauline (my station manager) ... now listen ... you have 28 days left ... you have to pull your finger out of your ass and get out there walking and exercising and get back into losing some major weight girl!!! You have to do this, you are too good to miss out on this opportunity because of your fitness ... get out there and do it!!! Sorry to be so blunt but you know me I tell it like it is and someone has to say it.

I actually wasn't offended at all and thanked her for her honesty. She was exactly right!! It was the exact thing I needed to kick my ass into gear!

So I've put myself on a very strict regime for 28 days ... no starchy carbs at all!! Meat and vege for dinner and a protein shake for breakfast and lunch, snacks of fruit and 2 bottles of water. 30mins (at least) of exercise 6 days a week. I'm not a huge fan of protein shakes long term but I have to think about it like a body building working up to a competition ... I have to go hard and whatever works I HAVE to do ... I haven't got time to muck around ... I have 28 days!!! That's it!!

Here's my weights so far (have been weighing daily)

Thurs - 104.8kg
Friday - 103.6kg
Saturday - 102.7kg
Sunday - 101.5kg
Today - 100.9kg

Nearly 4kgs in 4 days!! ... I know I won't be able to keep losing at that rate ... but boy I have to do my damned best!!! I soooo want this job!!!!

Ohhh and Kathryn ... yes I would be very interested to find out more about that boarding opportunity!! I don't know (if I get the job) which station I'll be at and which area of Auckland but if you could get back to me with where they live for a start ...

I'm sooooo excited ... and nervous!!!

One door closes, another opens ...

I have to admit I was wrong. I imagined Bruce's funeral to be a bundle of nerves and stress for us all, but it all went really well. We had a lot more people come than expected with the last few in the hall having to stand at the back.

It was a simple ceremony with the minister opening, Bill giving a eulogy and then the floor opened up for anyone to speak and tell of their stories of Bruce. And heaps of people came forward to say their bit. There must have been over 20 people speak in the end. We had laughs and lots and lots of tears and everyone left remembering what an amazing guy he was. Some who took life by the horns and lived it without boundaries. It was sweet seeing grown men in absolute tears for a mate who they loved and respected.

The last of the family went home today so it's just us again. Back to peace and quiet with no screaming kids or screaming adults for that matter. Although in saying that it was really neat catching up with all the cuzzies again.

Turns out the job I applied for at the lab (admin one) probably won't eventuate. They've decided they can get away without employing anyone now. Ahhh well.

A few days ago I learnt that the casual ambulance officer position probably wasn't going to happen for exactly the same reason. But I had a strange peace about it all. I know something will come up.

Then yesterday my boss at the station called me aside to say that the RSO (my boss's boss) was so impressed with my work on the road that he rang his boss (who employs the casuals) to put in an excellent word for me and persuade him to employ me and all without my knowing. I was blown away!! I've been told I should hear back in the next couple of weeks on that.

I also had it suggested by my station manager to apply for Auckland. They are currently taking on officers. In the past I've always shyed away from this knowing they are run off their feet. It's a hectic place up there, but in saying that I know that it would be good for me. It means putting myself way out of my comfort zone but deep down I know it will sharpen my skills and confidence on the road.

So yes you guessed it, I've put my application in for Auckland. I can hear all your questions now ... but where will you live? are you moving back to Auckland? What about Bill and the kids?? The kids are happy here in Waihi and very settled. If I get the Auckland job it's a 4 day on four off roster, so I'll find myself a flat or boarding place up there, Bill and the kids will stay in Waihi and then I'll come back home to Waihi on my days off. My long term plan (if I get this job) is to get my skills up and a good look on my cv for when the new officer position comes available back in Waihi (in around a year to eighteen months). We'll wait and see, don't even know if I'll get a look in for the job... ambo jobs are very very hard to get (so I've learnt)

The shop sale is going as planned so far. Still have to wait for it to go unconditional in a couple of weeks time, but everything looks good so far.

We've found ourselves a place to rent in Waihi. It's still being built at the moment and will be ready a week or so after we move from here, so might mean going on a little holiday first maybe. It's a brand new brick and tile 3 bedroom place with ensuite, heatpump, new carpet, new kitchen ... thank god!!! We have lived in grotty little holes since moving from our new house in Auckland. To have a place that doesn't have the wind whistle threw when all the doors and windows are shut, a place that actually looks clean once it's been cleaned, a place with a front door (not a back coridoor from the back of a shop as the front entrance), a place to call HOME!!! Our current house is not a home, sure we have our furniture there but it is just accomodation. So to have something brand spanking new ... yay!!!

I might just have to go shopping

Wow thankyou guys. It's good to be back blogging again. I think the break was good to make me appreciate the simpleness of the reasons why I want to blog. I started to get caught up in should I say this? shouldn't I say this? who is reading? what will everyone think? When at the end of the day blogging is not about all that stuff ... it's purely and simply a ways of communicating to a bunch of friends. Having the break away made me realise how I was over complicating it all. At the end of the day I missed my bunch of mates, and THAT is why I blogg!

The funeral organisation is nearly done. Poor Bill has had it all on his shoulders to organise it all. There are 5 boys in the family ... the oldest is in Aussie so can't really do much, the next went over to Switzerland to bring Bruce back, the next one works full time and didn't really put his hand up, the next was Bruce and lastly baby bro Billy. He's done well considering, although I've had to take my hands off given it's not my brother and I can see things being done a little ... umm... shall we say ... corner's cut. I tried to put a gentle word in to give some advice which wasn't recieved too well so have left it to him and will just have to bite my lip for a bit. But that's ok, I'll get over it! lol

Bruce arrives home tommorrow and is being brought down by hearst from Auckland airport to Paeroa where the funeral director is. He will stay there for the next few days till the funeral on Monday, allowing anyone who wants to go see him to be able to there. I was a little nervous when Bill said he wanted to go see him. I warned him that Bruce has been dead for nearly two weeks now so he won't look the same. Infact he will not be looking very good at all, and that I hoped Bill won't have that memory stuck in his head and will be able to remember him as he was, not as the empty remains he last sees him as. I understand Bill's point tho that until he sees him there won't be a closing for Bill. It's all still too much like a story that happened somewhere over the other side of the world.

As for the sale of the shop not much else has happened. Basically now it's a matter of waiting for the time to go by. And I'm sure it will be going by veeery, veeery, slowly.

Onto weightloss, after all that is the whole point of my blog!! lol ... and laugh out loud I have to do. It has certainly not been my focus for the last month but it never is when my world feels like a tornado. I've been doing this for long enough to recognise that when things settle down again I will get back into it and start cracking the whip again.

And I need to do this ... because I have a friggen ball to go to ... like an evening wear ball gown ball!!! I have nothing to wear!! I got out some dresses I had from my slimmer days and had a little try on last night. Of course most were too small but one of them nearly fitted ... just the overly endowered boobs popped out the top!! Just imagine that?? On the dance floor and a boob decides to go for a runner, not a good look!!!! lol

So I guess I need to do a little shopping before the date of the ball ... 28th June, either that or lose 20kg by then ... hmmm ... don't think so!! lol

Catch up

Where to start??

Thankyou all for your lovely comments. I'm sorry for not updating in such a long time. No excuses really, just got into a funk and decided to take a break for a bit, from weight watchers and blogging. No other reason.

It's been a crazy month ...

Firstly, I didn't get the ambo job. Got a bit disalutioned at first wondering if I was wasting my time thinking I could ever get a paid ambo job. After a couple of days sulking I snapped myself out of it and realised I still love doing my ambo work regardless of whether I get paid or not.

I was informed by one of my bosses that the only reason I didn't get onto the short list was my qualification level and to keep working on that. So that's what I'm doing. I've since been asked to apply for a relief officer position which I have and am waiting to hear back about. If I'm successful in this it will give me something very positive to put on my cv and the pay is very good when you do get work, although can be very speradic. But it all helps at the end of the day.

We got some very sad news last Monday 9 June. Bill's brother in Switzerland died in an absailing accident. We still don't have all the exact details as to what happened. His other brother is over there at the moment organising bringing his body back to New Zealand for burial. In the meantime Bill has been organising his funeral and I've been running the shop and house. He was only 36 years old! Far too young for anyone to die!! He arrives back in the country on Friday and his funeral will be here in Waihi on Monday.

The other news is that we have had an offer on the shop which we are going to accept. There's been negotiations back and forth for the last couple of weeks and we have come to a price both us and the purchaser agree on. It goes unconditional in the middle of July with settlement date 31 July. It still may fall over, as with any sale it's not final until the money's in the bank but I feel very positive about it.

Both Bill and I are excited about the next chapter in our lives. Not quite sure what we're both going to do but to be relieved of the burden of the shop which we have worked our butts off in for the last four years will be very nice.

We've decided that for the meantime we will stay in Waihi, shifting from the beach into Waihi itself (a bit cheaper rent and more jobs). The kids are happy and settled here so hopefully we can find a job ... see what happens, who knows??

I've applied for a part time admin job in a research lab here in Waihi. I've made it to the final two people and find out in the next 3 weeks if I'm successful or not. So hopefully with that and the relief ambo stuff will be enough to get us by. Then Bill will also keep his ear to the ground for some work.

So very sad and exciting news all in the same post.

Flu jab ... is it worth it?

So much for having my free flu jab ... I got the flu!!! Almost back to normal now just a nagging cough lurking around.

Still no word on my job application yet, they're taking a while.

Weighin on Wednesday brought a 700g loss. I'm picking my brains to find a strategy to get below the 100kg mark. This one is so physcological for me and I'm not sure why. I keep bouncing around that mark and just can't quite get under it. A big part is that I still feel like I have such a long way to go. Remembering back to when I did Jenny Craig nearly 20yrs ago my start weight was exactly 100kg ... that was JUST my START WEIGHT!!! And here I am 20yrs later still at 100kg!!

With some of my friends stopping blogging I've lost my accountability or more importantly that comrardery, the hype that builds eachother up to get through those tough moments. I really need to sort something out here. The local ww meeting closed down months ago and I don't want to go to SureSlim (too expensive for me). And I get so busy, time is an issue.

I'll have to keep thinking on this one. But for this week I've had my first two days OP so that's a good start.

Gotta get moving

I went to his funeral on Monday and my emotions surprised me. I found myself feeling really angry. It felt like such a waste, he had a beatiful wife and kids and so many people around him who loved him. The room was absolutely packed out!!! There would have been over a thousand people there. We were in a side room with standing room only. So many people spoke of what a fantastic guy he was. Such a waste! His wife came up to me and gave me a hug which was really nice.

Onto the weight front ... yeah a yucky gain this week but I expected it. I can never count points properly when other stuff is going on. 1kg up but onto a good week. No more time mucking around, gotta get to those double digits!!

Ohhhh and I almost forgot ... I played netball last night, first time in over 20yrs!!! And I ran (yes ran!) up and down the courts 8 times!! First time I have run on my ankle since breaking it 18mths ago. It's very sore today but I'm proud ... ohhh and we won our game!! 25 to 7 !! yay!!

Back from AWOL land ...

I've been AWOL from bloggerland the last week. Well I haven't been totally not blogging just not publishing my posts and doing them in draft only. I've decided an the end of the week that I'm not actually going to publish them. It's nothing against you guys but I've had a seriously emotional week and dealing with a lot of very tender personal issues which I feel wouldn't be appropriate to put on here.

Now don't going worrying yourselves about me or my family - we're fine. To give you a basic outline - I went to a job last Wednesday that involved a suicide in which my ambo partner and I were first on scene and we were unsuccessful in reviving him and it really hit home because I knew him. St Johns were fanstastic and had a huge amount of support there for me both immediately after and over the next few days. It affected me big time causing me to have nausea and vomiting for a few days and tossing and turning at night. I think I'm working through it ok, however my emotional stress is nothing compared to what his wife and young kids have to deal with. My heart just goes out to her!!!

Next step is the funeral on Monday which might bring a few emotions back up again.

I found my eating was very minimal over the week as my stomach just couldn't face it. But I tried very hard to eat what I could to keep my energy levels up. I weighed in at 100.5kgs this week which is a good loss but a weighin post last Wednesday just seemed so insignificant with what happened that day. So I've chosen to leave it till today to post.

Now I've worked through some of the stuff (blogging privately helped alot with this) I'm back to 'normal' blogging again.

who needs 3 wishes, just 1 ... I want that job!!

Did my first day back counting points yesterday and must admit it gave me a huge sense of being in control again. I ended up having to eat on the run for dinner so as the person I was with was driving through KFC I decided on a Works burger for dinner. Obviously not my first choice in healthy nutrition. I guestimated at 8-9pts making me 1 or 2pts over for the day, not too bad I reasoned with myself.

This morning I looked up the KFC website to find that actually the works burger is infact only 4pts!!! I triple, quadrupally tested it ... yep only 4pts! So here I was feeling guilty about nothing! It actually meant I was under points by 4 for the day.

~~~

I've had the wonderful pleasure of being awarded the latest award going round by Linda and CactusFreek ... sounds like I'm describing a flu bug! haha! Not quite the same horrible side effects. Awww ... Thankyou guys ...

Now to pass it on ... given alot of my blogs I read have either stopped or gone private I've only chosen out of the public ones. There's so many wonderful blogs I could choose but have decided on these ones for their 'stickibility' ... that's what weightloss is about ... being in for the long haul and these three chicks I am commending for that!! Well done guys!!

So here's who I pass it onto ... Zanna, Hippygal, and Jen ...

Onto another day ... my day off in the shop so as usual I've jumped on the ambulance for the day. My job application closes off tomorrow so hopefully should hear back next week if I've made the short list ... so hope so! But of course not getting my hopes up too much ... who am I kidding??? My hopes are through the roof!!!

was good but not for me

Greenlane diet week is over and I managed to lose 600g. Not good enough results for me to keep doing it. I'm happy with a 600g loss but the sacrifices I had to persevere with don't make it worthwhile.

I found after the three hard out days I went into a rebellion mode with food. Kinda like the noose is off now so 'LET'S EAT!!!' The book says you can lose up to 4.5kgs in 3 days. We all know that won't be 4.5kgs of fat!! After day three I was down 2.6kgs but of course as soon as I went back to normal eating again my gut filled up again and I was back up another 2kgs over the following 4 days.

So I'm back to counting points again. It's always interesting how take something away makes you appreciate it. Very glad to be counting points again and eating 'normally'.

Onto another eating healthy week. Only 1.3kgs to go to get into double digits!

Simple pleasures

I'm pleased to say I completed my first three days on the Greenlane diet. I now have four days of healthy eating but not to a strict menu. It was really hard going!! REALLY hard! I found each day by the time I got to mid afternoon I was feeling very lathargic, light headed and headachey. Proud of myself that I stuck to it rigidly all bar 2 glasses of wine on the night of day two.

Bill had a friend/customer in the shop yesterday that he was telling about how we were doing this Greenlane Diet. She said "you're crazy!! That diet is for people who are so sick in hospital. They are stuck in bed and can't move all day! And you guys are eating the same amount AND walking around! I don't know how you can do it!"

I hadn't actually thought of it like that. I don't think it will be a permanent thing for me but more of a kickstart to get my motivation back which it seems to be doing.

Lynda and Jules you are totally right! I couldn't remember what he had died of. I had an idea it was something non-related to weight but couldn't quote that on here as I wasn't totally sure. So thanks for pointing that out.

I'm really enjoying his book for reasons other than weightloss as well. It's been very good timing. We are currently going into winter which is always a tough time financially for us. We're having to live day to day budgeting to pay bills and when you own a shop like this the bills are big amounts ... in the thousands so we have to be very tight with our money. Some days it gets us down and very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway getting back to the book ... this guy talks about another side of life ... one where he had no issues with money, where he was jetsetting all over the world for meetings. Over to London for 8hrs then back again, flying all over New Zealand multiple times in a day, smoozing clients in fancy restaurants, buying big fancy cars and living a life many people dream about. Yet he wasn't happy. He found himself not communicating with his wife because he was too busy being the big exec and by the time he got home he would flop into bed and start all over the next day.

It was a great reminder to me that money isn't everything. I've never had a desire to be hugely rich but enough to cover the bills and a little left over for some playtime is the dream for me. And sometimes I feel very let down in life because we've had to work so hard just to pay the bills. This man made me refocus on the fact that yes we may be broke, but hey we have a great relationship together (Bill and I) where we can be together every night and talk, we can work happily together, take the kids out for a swim down the beach as a family, play 'bat down' out in the back yard as a family and generally we can have the time just to be us, with out the rush, rush, rush of the 'high life'. We have our health and we have to be grateful for those small things because in all reality those small things ... are actually big things in life ...

To simplify it down it reminded me ... 'Don't worry!! Be happy!!'

P.S. - for those of you who asked what happened about Bill's job ... he never heard back so we're taking that as a no. Pretty rude of them not to let him know, but that's ok we're happy with that.

Don't run away mojo!!

Firstly ... 'Me' ... the guy's name that wrote Diary of a Fat Man is Paul Jeffreys. (published by Penguin Books) Hope that helps. I must admit I tried to do a search on the net to find a pic for yesterdays post but found very little info on it. I wonder if they pulled it from publication when he died.

This new menu plan is working out great for me! (the Greenlane one I talked about yesterday). It's really hard to stick to and I'm finding I'm getting really hungry (like stomach majorly growling at me hungry) between meals. I think this is a good thing for me right now. I got so used to the points system where if I got hungry I just ate and used the points from another day.

Get this ... I've EVEN gone to black coffee/no sugar!!! (normal is white/1 large tsp sugar) And it's not actually too bad!

As you may recall I had beetroot for my menu dinner last night. I had raw beetroot there that I was going to cook up. But not wanting to add sugar I found a recipe to roast them with garlic and balsamic vinegar which in theory sounded devine ...ehem ... 2.5hrs later everything else was cooked and we were still waiting for the beetroot. I gave up, took it out of the oven and decided to boil it ... half an hour later I thought they must be cooked. The kids had eaten everything else on their plate so I peeled the beetroot and dished it up. "YUMM!! Beetroot like grandma does!!" came their excited replies. They started hooking into it as I peeled Bill's and my portions. "Umm, it's okay, not quite as good as grandma's beetroot" I heard them say. As I took a bite of my beetroot I was discusted!! It was revolting!!! Still crunchy and raw!!! Those poor kids ate their beetroot without another word! I just couldn't eat mine! YUCK!! I gave in and went and got a can of the stuff out of the cupboard. "You kids want any more of the canned stuff?" "No mum I'm full" Poor things! lol

We finished the night off with our allotted ww icecream and baked apples.

This morning it was worth it all with a loss of 600g on the scales for my weekly weighin! Very happy given I've only been on this plan one day.

My food for today is ...

Breakfast - 1 boiled egg, 1 slice dry toast, 1/2 banana

Lunch - 1 cup cottage cheese, 5 snax crackers

Dinner - 2 Frankfurters, 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup carrots

Snack - 1 cup ww icecream, 1/2 banana

My mojo may very well be on it's way back!!

Anyone seen my mojo? ...

I'm trying desperately to find my mojo again. It's totally vanished and do ya think I can remember where I left it???

While waiting for the pager to go off at the ambo station the other day I picked up a book and started reading. 'Diary of a Fat Man'. I'm usually against such 'tacky' books but his writing style actually grabbed my attention.

It still goes against the grain for me reading a book about a guy who loses 64kgs to 'gain his life back' (his words) and then dies 6mths later!! But hey still a good read.

I'm about a third of the way through it and one of the diet's he does (twice a year) is the 'Greenlane Diet' named because Greenlane Hospital uses it for all their patients waiting for open heart surgery. It's remarkably simple and cheap so I thought 'what they hey? I'll give it a go'

It involves a very strict diet for three days and 4 days off, 3 days on, 4 days off etc. I think I need a bit of structure at the moment to get me aysse into line!

This is todays food ...

Breakfast - 1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice dry toast, 1tblsp peanut butter

Lunch - 1 slice dry toast, 1/3c tuna

Lunch - 1 cup green beans, 1 cup beetroot, 2 slices lean meat

Dessert - 1 small apple, 1 cup ww icecream

Feeling good so far but only upto lunchtime... see how I feel on day 3!!!

Feel good about this one

I know I've been a bit scarce of late. Things are still crazy busy.

Weighin today gave me a 1.8kg loss showing that lasts week gain was infact fluid as I'd thought it was.

Not sure if I told you guys but I missed out on the Tauranga ambulance job. Wasn't too worried as I didn't expect to get it.

I've now sent my CV off for a job that's come up in Thames, for a Patient Transport Officer (2 days), and Frontline crew (2 days). And the cool part is they are asking for an officer of my level (primary care 2 officer).

So basically means for 2 days a week (12hr shift) it will mean transporting patients between hospitals and the other 2 days on ambulance. (then 2 days off) And Thames is only 35mins drive away so I can easily commute.

So fingers crossed

Proud moments

*UPDATE*

Oopps!! I forgot to post the pics of Lee-anne's wedding. Here they are (below)

I've had my head buried in the sand the last week. Not wanting to admit the bad food I've been consuming. I think it started by the fact that I felt I did really well eatingwise at Lee-annes wedding and came home to a yucky gain. Then it went downhill from there. The whole thought of 'what's the point?' filled my brain.

So when my official gain showed up on Wednesday I couldn't bring myself to blog it. 104 yucky kilograms!!!!

Then two days later it was back down again to 101.7kg!!! That's just cruel! But I'm back ontrack again after a couple of days of sulking and wallowing in my pity!

Lee-anne's wedding was absolutely beautiful! She was stunning! She asked me to post some pics for her till she gets back from sunny Rarotonga! (lucky tart!)

While there I got talking to a lady (who I'd never met before) and turns out she is the mother of the guy that interviewed Bill for the new job he was going for in Rotorua! How bizzare is that?? And then she ends up being at our table at the reception... too weird! Still no news on how Bill got on yet.

Yesterday I attended a funeral of a young 26yr old guy who died of cancer. Very very sad! He was a truck driver and fire brigade officer here in Waihi. So they had a full ceremonial farewell for him with the Fire Brigade, Police and Ambos in full formal uniform. The casket was on top of his fire truck and behind we all marched in perfect rows of four ... Firies, then us ambos, then police. We marched behind right down the main street. Hundreds of people lined the streets and everyone was in perfect silence!! Was a very emotional moment!! The sense of pride felt by us all in respect for one of our own was overwelming!

After the funeral we marched back to the fire station and behind us was a long line of logging/freight trucks about 15 of them all up. And as we reached the station each of the trucks drove by slowly and one by one pomped their horn in goodbye, it went on for quite some time. Everyone had tears in their eyes! There was a moments silence then the fire station siren went off for a last call for him. The officers got in their fire trucks and they slowly drove off for a private family cremation. Every single person had tears in their eyes! What an amazing sendoff to one amazing officer who was taken much too soon!!!