This blog is now going private ... apologies to all concerned

Back to my old self again

Quick post ... I'm in between jobs and pager could go off at any mo...

Weighin this morning ... 102.6kg ... 600g loss ... yay happy with that. Brings me back to my 20kg loss mark again.

Feeling much happier today. Thankyou all so much for your comments ... was a highlight of my gloomy couple of days. Don't really know what came over me ... maybe midlife crisis??? lol

Felt blah all day yesterday and blobbed around the apartment, staying in my pj's till just after lunch. Got an early night and feeling back to my normal self today... thank goodness!!

I wonder if some of it was mental/physical burnout ... and with having a rest made all the difference.

Oops gotta go ... cya all!!

It's my party and I'll cry if I wanna!!

I usually shy away from doing 'woe-is-me' posts as that's not really who I am ...

But today I'm feeling rather lonely and blah!! why??

Cuz it's my birthday and I'm here in Auckland by myself ... all alone ... not even a flatmate to chat with.

I got rung up at 10.15pm last night and asked if I would do a 'recall' which basically means I go to work on one of my days off and get paid time and a half for it. So at the end of the day it means around $200-$300 extra in my pay packet next week. Originally I told him to see if he could find someone else (I was too shy to tell him it was my birthday that day) and Bill was saying in the background "go for it, you can do it" ... so in a moment of weakness I gave in and said yes.

So what that means is that on my birthday ... the one day of the year that I should be celebrating me ... I had to wake up at 3.30am, drive to Auckland, start work at 6am, work my arse off all day at the busiest station in the country ... go back to an empty flat (my flatmates are both away) and sit by myself ... on my birthday!! damn it!!! Not worth going home cuz I have to go back to work in one more day.

The biggest reason I'm feeling sad and lonely today is that my best mate in the whole world (we've been friends and fellow ambulance officers for the past 3yrs) is not speaking to me ... and it's my birthday!! damn it!!! It's a long story and basically she's not mad at me (I don't think) just an awkward moment where a few heated words were spoken. I have tried to make peace, both in person, txt, email and any other way I can think of ...

... I don't think she knows its my birthday ... and I dont really want to tell her cuz then it sounds like I'm trying to make her feel guilty or manipulate her which I'm not.

Any I'm allowed a sad day ... and today is my sad day ... Happy Birthday me :(

short and sweet

Weighin this morning and 103.2kg ... 400g loss ... happy with that. Not a staggering 2.sumthin kgs I lost last week but hey can't expect miracles like that every week.

Just a short update tonight, doing nightshift, it's 11.45pm and I'm tired with a long part of the night to go. And for those of you who were wondering ... yes even tho I'm at mangere station this week, no I didn't go to that fire. Not on my shift ... lucky, don't like going to jobs like that, not nice, especially when kids are involved.

New flatmate moving in next week. She seems nice enough, no complaints. See what happens.

Nite nite everyone, hope you enjoy your cosy beds, think of me :)

Lyn :)

new truck to play with

I'm having a fantastic day today. Was a little nervous coming to work as I'm posted at another station that I've never been to before (Mangere Station). But it's going really well. My partner and I are driving one of the brand new Mercedes Benz Ambulances (only a couple of months old) so that's a bit of fun tutuing with all the knobs and gadgets ... yay!! Ohh yeah and also trying to save some lives!! hehe

Had a catchup with a friend on my four days off and hmmm what was supposed to be a couple of drinks ended up being a 3am finish and staying the night and being VERY hungover next day ... but hey is good to do it every once in a while.

Spent the next couple of days sculling water with the huge dehydration I inflicted on myself and was stunned to see after all the water consumed I am still 300g down with another 3 days to go before weigh day. Yay, this plan is really working for me.

Basically I'm doing weightwatchers but taking out the starchy carbs (breads, pasta, rice, potato, chips, cereal) and it seems to be happening for me.

Hmmm ... that's about all the news for today ... thanks for all the encouragement guys :)

Finally have some mojo back and a loss!!

I didn't want to admit this till now but I stood on the scales 10 days ago (just before Christmas) and I was a shocking 105.9kg!! ouchy!!!

That was the kick up the butt I needed and am happy to say I have done 1 whole week on the no carb thing with great results ... today ... 103.6kg ... that's 2.3kgs in just over a week ... very happy!!

I'm all inspired again to lose ... finally!! Been a very long time since I had that ol' mojo. My hubby giving me a plane ticket to Rarotonga certainly helped, gave me something to work towards and a definate timeline, which is what I need ... goals!

It's a little tricky organising food to eat on the road while on the ambulance. Almost all processed packet/tin food has lots of carbs in it. But so far I've been able to work it out.

Yay glad to be back losing again!!!

Hope everyone had a fab Christmas! I spent the day with my family and extended family at my sister's place. Was a lovely day!

Last day at work today 9am - 9pm shift then off for for days and back home to Waihi Beach ... yay!! Still loving it but I'm bit buggered today, need some sleep!!! :)

what doesnt kill me will make me stronger

Well I'm not sure if anyone will read this update as it's been so long since I updated my blog. Apologies for that :(

Life is like a whirlwind!! It feels like I just finish one day and onto plans for the next. I'm still loving my work! I thought I loved ambulance work in Waihi but didn't know true satisfaction till the last month. In Waihi I would get heart palpitations every time the pager went off I think mainly from the fact that I was pushed into a leadership role far before I was really ready. I realise now how much that knocked my confidence.

The last couple of weeks I have been working with an advanced paramedic who is so cruzy and discourages any stress yet at the same time has taught me so much!! I'm absolutely loving my work!!

As for commuting back and forth I still find the first night up in Auckland hard, feeling huge amounts of homesickness. Missing my kids bucketloads. Especially when my 6yr old Christmas present (yes early I know) of a trip to Rarotonga in May (my holidays) for 10 days, kid free, stress free, hubby free!! So my best friend and I are off for 10 days of bliss, staying at my sisters bach!! Roll on May!! Now that's gotta be motivation to get down in weight!!

Talking about weight ... to be honest I haven't weighed myself in over a month ... last month weighing in at 103kgs ... not too bad ... still maintaining. But I'm definately not in the weightloss mode at the moment. Guess it's a case of trying to balance life and until everything settles down I can't focus on weightloss. My jeans still fit so I guess that can't be too bad. But I know I can't let it go on for too long, gotta get back to it.

Janene (from Lean Janene) is a huge motivation for me at the moment ... I'm so proud of her! She's a sweetie from within and on the outside. I can't wait to see her transformation ... huggggs chickey!!!

Well that's my update for today, life is still good, still chaotic, still happy with my career path, as challenging as it may be at times. But hurdles are good if it makes us stronger, and stronger I HAVE DEFINATELY BECOME!!!