Journey to Slimsville ... again

2009-01-21T10:59:00.000+13:00

This blog is now going private ... apologies to all concerned

Back to my old self again

2009-01-12T10:07:00.003+13:00

Quick post ... I'm in between jobs and pager could go off at any mo...

Weighin this morning ... 102.6kg ... 600g loss ... yay happy with that. Brings me back to my 20kg loss mark again.

Feeling much happier today. Thankyou all so much for your comments ... was a highlight of my gloomy couple of days. Don't really know what came over me ... maybe midlife crisis??? lol

Felt blah all day yesterday and blobbed around the apartment, staying in my pj's till just after lunch. Got an early night and feeling back to my normal self today... thank goodness!!

I wonder if some of it was mental/physical burnout ... and with having a rest made all the difference.

Oops gotta go ... cya all!!

It's my party and I'll cry if I wanna!!

2009-01-10T16:29:00.002+13:00

I usually shy away from doing 'woe-is-me' posts as that's not really who I am ...

But today I'm feeling rather lonely and blah!! why??

Cuz it's my birthday and I'm here in Auckland by myself ... all alone ... not even a flatmate to chat with.

I got rung up at 10.15pm last night and asked if I would do a 'recall' which basically means I go to work on one of my days off and get paid time and a half for it. So at the end of the day it means around $200-$300 extra in my pay packet next week. Originally I told him to see if he could find someone else (I was too shy to tell him it was my birthday that day) and Bill was saying in the background "go for it, you can do it" ... so in a moment of weakness I gave in and said yes.

So what that means is that on my birthday ... the one day of the year that I should be celebrating me ... I had to wake up at 3.30am, drive to Auckland, start work at 6am, work my arse off all day at the busiest station in the country ... go back to an empty flat (my flatmates are both away) and sit by myself ... on my birthday!! damn it!!! Not worth going home cuz I have to go back to work in one more day.

The biggest reason I'm feeling sad and lonely today is that my best mate in the whole world (we've been friends and fellow ambulance officers for the past 3yrs) is not speaking to me ... and it's my birthday!! damn it!!! It's a long story and basically she's not mad at me (I don't think) just an awkward moment where a few heated words were spoken. I have tried to make peace, both in person, txt, email and any other way I can think of ...

... I don't think she knows its my birthday ... and I dont really want to tell her cuz then it sounds like I'm trying to make her feel guilty or manipulate her which I'm not.

Any I'm allowed a sad day ... and today is my sad day ... Happy Birthday me :(

short and sweet

2009-01-06T23:36:00.002+13:00

Weighin this morning and 103.2kg ... 400g loss ... happy with that. Not a staggering 2.sumthin kgs I lost last week but hey can't expect miracles like that every week.

Just a short update tonight, doing nightshift, it's 11.45pm and I'm tired with a long part of the night to go. And for those of you who were wondering ... yes even tho I'm at mangere station this week, no I didn't go to that fire. Not on my shift ... lucky, don't like going to jobs like that, not nice, especially when kids are involved.

New flatmate moving in next week. She seems nice enough, no complaints. See what happens.

Nite nite everyone, hope you enjoy your cosy beds, think of me :)

Lyn :)

new truck to play with

2009-01-04T15:58:00.003+13:00

I'm having a fantastic day today. Was a little nervous coming to work as I'm posted at another station that I've never been to before (Mangere Station). But it's going really well. My partner and I are driving one of the brand new Mercedes Benz Ambulances (only a couple of months old) so that's a bit of fun tutuing with all the knobs and gadgets ... yay!! Ohh yeah and also trying to save some lives!! hehe

Had a catchup with a friend on my four days off and hmmm what was supposed to be a couple of drinks ended up being a 3am finish and staying the night and being VERY hungover next day ... but hey is good to do it every once in a while.

Spent the next couple of days sculling water with the huge dehydration I inflicted on myself and was stunned to see after all the water consumed I am still 300g down with another 3 days to go before weigh day. Yay, this plan is really working for me.

Basically I'm doing weightwatchers but taking out the starchy carbs (breads, pasta, rice, potato, chips, cereal) and it seems to be happening for me.

Hmmm ... that's about all the news for today ... thanks for all the encouragement guys :)

Finally have some mojo back and a loss!!

2008-12-30T09:35:00.003+13:00

I didn't want to admit this till now but I stood on the scales 10 days ago (just before Christmas) and I was a shocking 105.9kg!! ouchy!!!

That was the kick up the butt I needed and am happy to say I have done 1 whole week on the no carb thing with great results ... today ... 103.6kg ... that's 2.3kgs in just over a week ... very happy!!

I'm all inspired again to lose ... finally!! Been a very long time since I had that ol' mojo. My hubby giving me a plane ticket to Rarotonga certainly helped, gave me something to work towards and a definate timeline, which is what I need ... goals!

It's a little tricky organising food to eat on the road while on the ambulance. Almost all processed packet/tin food has lots of carbs in it. But so far I've been able to work it out.

Yay glad to be back losing again!!!

Hope everyone had a fab Christmas! I spent the day with my family and extended family at my sister's place. Was a lovely day!

Last day at work today 9am - 9pm shift then off for for days and back home to Waihi Beach ... yay!! Still loving it but I'm bit buggered today, need some sleep!!! :)

what doesnt kill me will make me stronger

2008-12-17T19:12:00.002+13:00

Well I'm not sure if anyone will read this update as it's been so long since I updated my blog. Apologies for that :(

Life is like a whirlwind!! It feels like I just finish one day and onto plans for the next. I'm still loving my work! I thought I loved ambulance work in Waihi but didn't know true satisfaction till the last month. In Waihi I would get heart palpitations every time the pager went off I think mainly from the fact that I was pushed into a leadership role far before I was really ready. I realise now how much that knocked my confidence.

The last couple of weeks I have been working with an advanced paramedic who is so cruzy and discourages any stress yet at the same time has taught me so much!! I'm absolutely loving my work!!

As for commuting back and forth I still find the first night up in Auckland hard, feeling huge amounts of homesickness. Missing my kids bucketloads. Especially when my 6yr old Christmas present (yes early I know) of a trip to Rarotonga in May (my holidays) for 10 days, kid free, stress free, hubby free!! So my best friend and I are off for 10 days of bliss, staying at my sisters bach!! Roll on May!! Now that's gotta be motivation to get down in weight!!

Talking about weight ... to be honest I haven't weighed myself in over a month ... last month weighing in at 103kgs ... not too bad ... still maintaining. But I'm definately not in the weightloss mode at the moment. Guess it's a case of trying to balance life and until everything settles down I can't focus on weightloss. My jeans still fit so I guess that can't be too bad. But I know I can't let it go on for too long, gotta get back to it.

Janene (from Lean Janene) is a huge motivation for me at the moment ... I'm so proud of her! She's a sweetie from within and on the outside. I can't wait to see her transformation ... huggggs chickey!!!

Well that's my update for today, life is still good, still chaotic, still happy with my career path, as challenging as it may be at times. But hurdles are good if it makes us stronger, and stronger I HAVE DEFINATELY BECOME!!!

Satisfaction

2008-10-14T14:15:00.002+13:00

Life is good ... things are still working out well with my four days on, four days off and commuting back and forth between Auckland and Waihi Beach. I find by my last shift on I'm getting pretty tired but recover pretty quickly on my days off. The first day I have a couple of hours sleep in the morning before I leave Auckland, travel to Waihi Beach and keep myself awake and go to bed early, have a good 12hrs sleep and wake up feeling pretty good.

It's bliss having the four days off and I'm finding I'm spending some really good time with Bill and the kids.

The flat in Auckland is still going well. We are all (3 of us) working pretty long hours so we all don't see a huge amount of each other. Infact sometimes I might go 3 days without seeing anyone, quite bizarre. But when we are all together there for dinner we have quite a good social catchup. I think it helps that we're all a bit older in age group and maybe a bit wiser and past the whole 'party mode' era.

My weight has stabalised at the moment and I've stayed the same (102kgs) for the past 3wks give or take 100g. So I'm happy with that.

Got a few more things to catch up on here in Waihi before I head back to the big smoke tomorrow.

I certainly can't complain about anything ... Life is good!!!

Time is so precious!!

2008-09-29T12:24:00.003+13:00

This pic was snapped on my phone camera this morning ... the kids were cracking up because Bill was trying to tickle my bottom with a toi toi flower behind my back as I was snapping the photo!! This photo captures our time together as a family!! I'm loving it!!

A BIG HI to Debbie!! Debbie's sister in law is in the same intake as me in Auckland ... I won't mention her name (ya never know who is reading round the corner) but she's a VERY COOL CHICK!! A real doll!!

I've done two shifts on the road now and it's not as scary as I thought it would be! And everyone around me is so supportive, even tho I am the 'newbie' :)

And yes I have been flopping into bed at the end of my shifts but I'm absolutely LOVING IT!! I still have to pinch myself to think I'm being paid to do something that I've done volunterally for the past 2yrs and love so much!!

I've just finished my first 4 days off and have had a wonderful time with my family. We've been down to the beach, gone for walks and sat and talked ... very cool time!!

I'm back up to Auckland this afternoon for day shifts the next 2 days and 2 night shifts.

And no I wasn't at the stabbing in Auckland last week. I started the very next shift (half an hour later) and it wasn't in the area I was working. (I've had heaps of people ask me that lol)

I finally got on the scales yesterday ... first time in nearly 3 months!!! Wow time goes quick. And I'm not too disappointed ... a gain of 2.4kgs ... could be worse but of course I could have been lighter too!! Water under the bridge. Things are still a little crazy to go back to counting points just yet ... as always I'll get back to it when my world settles down and I get used to this new routine.

I usually find I get a little homesick the first day or so (mainly in the evenings) then my mind gets busy and I come right. Bill said the kids are the opposite, they're fine for the first few days then they start asking when I'm coming home, saying they miss me ... :( That's the hardest part in all of this. But they are coping very well and our time together is precious, and we all treat it as so.

Anyway better get my butt back to Auckland ... so sorry I haven't commented on any blogs lately!! I have just been soo soo busy!! Miss you all!!

scary caves!!

2008-09-17T18:09:00.003+12:00

Sorry for the HUGE delay in doing an update!! In the last 10 days tonight is the first night I've had at home where I've had no assignments/homework to do!!!

IT'S CRAZY!!! But I'm still loving it!! Scared shitless but loving it!

We're still in class at the moment. My first shift on the road is at Howick station next Thursday night (not tomorrow but a week away). Our days have been filled with assessments, assignments, tests, lectures and a WHOLE LOT OF LEARNING!!!

On Monday we had a scenario to do where we went (in pairs) to an apparent "fall/collapse" in the garage of the station. As we walked in we checked scene safety then as all looked clear we walked up to the patient and he told us he had been assaulted ... then out of nowhere a big maori guy with tats, beanie and dark glasses came running towards me with a baseball bat swearing at me "what the FUCK DO YOU WANT!!!" I threw my hands up, told him to stop and ran as fast as I could backwards towards the door!!!! My heart was in my throat!!! Don't think it had beaten that fast in a very long time!! And I'm sure I lost a couple of kilos there and then!! He got very close to me and thank goodness he was an actor otherwise maybe I might not have been here to tell this very horrific story!!!! lol

We went on to learn how to defend ourselves in scary situations. We had to go through situations of this guy hurling abuse at us and what we would do!! It's actually a very scary thing to go through but very important all the same!!

Today we got sent to an address in Devonport and we were met by a guy who told us his mate had collapsed down a dark cave (which he took us to the entrance of). Our team was the only team (1 of 3 teams) who refused to go in the cave to a guy who had apparently cardiac arrested. The lesson was no matter how serious the condition, if our safety is potentially at risk ... don't go!!! yay we passed that one by telling him (in between him screaming at us!!) that I'm very sorry but until we get someone here to help us (the police) we can't go in there.

The course has been very demanding with them putting us in all sorts of situations but I'm really happy with how it's going and the things I am learning from it!!

This weekend I am off to Thames for my inclass course for my Diploma in Ambulance Practice so it will mean 9 days straight working, then I have one day back (my first shift on the road) then ... bliss ... 4 days off!!!!

Think I might need it by then!!!!

P.S. my belt buckle has gone down a hole since I got here!! Something must be working :)

I made it to the big city

2008-09-09T17:11:00.002+12:00

I've been in Auckland now for just 2 days and it feels like I've been here forever!! So much has happened in the last two days.

I arrived Sunday night after spending two days in class on my National Diploma in Ambulance Practice course in Thames, so I was knackered. My flatmates had cooked me a lovely dinner, very nice welcome!!

Went to bed for a rough night of tossing and turning, I guess all the anxiety of what tomorrow would bring. Helped a little that I'd rung Bill and the kids earlier in the evening and everything was going well at home.

Woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep. So by 5.30am I decided to get up. I had to be in Downtown Auckland at 8.30am and I really didn't know how much time to allow to get there from Manukau with peak hour traffic. Given I wanted half an hour to relax with a coffee once I got there I figured if I left just before 7am I should make good time.

What happened?? I arrived there at 7.20am!!! Over an hour early!!! LOL! Think the guy thought I was a bit over the top keen turning up that early. But much rather be that than the other way round.

As the people started arriving (12 of us in all starting that day), it was good to have a chat and see where everyone else came from.

8.30am came round and first on the agenda?? A test!! Straight into it! Then a little introduction from everyone giving our backgrounds. They then got us to stand in a line side by side and proceeded to repremand each of us on what was wrong with our uniforms. Lucky I escaped that one with a "you're not too bad" but oh boy... felt like I had joined the army, not St John ambulance!!! After bracelets, necklaces, gum removed and name badges straightened, buttons done up properly, jackets zipped up by everyone we were able to move on.

We were then given 1 minute to come up with a 2minute speech on a topic and to speak for not a second less not a second more!! Oh boy!! What had I done??? I was feeling rather homesick by this stage.

The rest of the day was filled with more tests, explanations of what was to happen, what stations we were all going to, rosters etc, etc, etc!!

I arrived home to the flat very tired and brain drained to say the least!

Today I was up at 5.30am to be at Mt Wellington station by 7am start on a driving course. We spend the first 3hrs driving an ambulance through the tiniest and busiest streets of Auckland in peak hour traffic!! Fun!!

Then this afternoon was in class learning more theory about driving. Tomorrow we are out at Whenuapai Base to do backing and ambulance and skidding skills.

Talk about busy ... full on!!! But I'm LOVIN IT!!!! And to think I can be paid to have this much fun!!

A few panic attacks

2008-08-29T06:18:00.002+12:00

I just finished my last Waihi Beach First Responce shift last night and today is my last Waihi Ambulance shift ... sad and exciting all the same.

I'm having a few drinks at the station tonight to celebrate them all getting rid of me, so that should be a bit of fun. Although I found out the other day that the other girl I know (from up the coast) who also applied for Auckland and didn't get in, is going to be at the station tonight doing a shift ... whooopsie!! lol. I told my station manager and she said "who cares?? It's your station not hers, if she wants to be here to do a visitors shift, you have every right to be here too!" Ahh well, she'll get over it I guess.

I had all my medical checks and blood tests the other day. They tested my Blood Pressure (which was a little on the high side, I'm thinking from all the stress and the fact that I've been sick for the last 2weeks), hearing test, vision test and immunity status for things like Mumps, rebella, Hep C etc.

I've been having dreams the last week which makes me think I'm a little nervous about this move to Auckland. One where I can't find my car on my first day, then work out it's a campervan which only goes 50kms/hr, so means I'm going to be late, then the road turns into a dirt track, then eventually becomes a deadend and I can't make it there.... stress?? ... um yep think I'm a little stressed.

But deep down I know this is a good move for me and one that will improve my self esteem, confidence, and ambulance skills. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get there.

I go up to Auckland on Sunday/Monday to sort out my flat, get spare key, find out where my station is, parking etc.

Then I have a week off from ambulance, spend some time with the family. On Saturday (6th Sept) I go to Thames for a 2 day course (for ambulance), then up to Auckland Sunday night for my first shift Monday morning (8th Sept)

Deep breath Lyn, it will all be fine!!!

the pieces are coming together

2008-08-18T09:00:00.002+12:00

Wow it's overwhelming to read all your lovely comments!! Thankyou so much!!

Although I didn't think I was too phased about the fact that I hadn't organised anywhere to stay in Auckland yet, subconsiously I think it was playing on my brain.

I had a couple of options up my sleeve but they all had a little tweaky thing that didn't make it 100% suitable.

Here was my criteria ...

needed to be close to the motorway for easy access wherever I might be put for that day
needed to be more south auckland than anywhere else, for closer commuting home and I know the layout of south auckland better given we lived there for 7yrs
wanted a quiet household where I could easily sleep during the day when on night shift
no kids
no party house
no lawns to mow
reasonable rent
off street parking for my car
secure area given I would be coming and going all hours of the day and night
friendly flatmates who I could relax around

Option One ... Had been offered a place with an ambo friend who lived out at Kawakawa bay. She's a lovely lady and they are a retired couple but it was so far out of Auckland (35mins on a good day)

Option Two ... My cousin and his wife have just moved to Auckland in Onehunga. While I get on really well with them she is pregnant due to give birth in October and they have a big barking dog. I could see myself having sleeping issues there.

Option Three ... Sandybee from on here said she had a friend looking for a housemate but was located a little off the motorway and more east auckland than south.

I really wasn't sure which of these options to pursue. Last week I rang a really good friend of mine (who I worked with for 5yrs at The Warehouse in Manukau). She was sooo excited when I told her I was going to be coming back to Auckland. "You HAVE to come live with me!!!" She said. Turns out her and her flatmate had said the week before they wanted to get another flatmate in. They live in a 3 bedroom 2 storey townhouse (only 3yrs old) right in the centre of Manukau City ... 500mtrs off the motorway.

I have a double room for $150 a week which includes rent, power, phone, internet, off street carpark, as many toll calls as I want (she's on a flat rate call plan) and she and her flatmate are in their 40's, with no kids and not into frequent parties. They both work full time so will have the place to myself during the days (when I'm doing nightshift). And we get on like a house on fire!!!

ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!!! As soon as it was confirmed that's where I'll be living it was like a huge weight came off my shoulders!! Made me realise how stressed I actually was about it.

I can't wait to catchup with her again... it's all fitting in perfectly!!!

IT GOT IT!!!!!

2008-08-06T14:38:00.003+12:00

The phone rang ... and I just knew!!! So I wasn't surprised when I heard the voice on the other end introducing himself from Auckland Ambulance Head Quarters ...

"Congratulations! ... " I don't remember the rest of the conversation!! I am absolutely flabagastered, jumpin jimbo fantastically excitedly ... ecstatic!!!!!! I GOT THE JOB!!! WAHOOO I GOT THE FRIGGEN JOB!!! I can't believe after doing just under 3000 volunteer hours last year that I'm finally going to be paid to do the job I LOVE!!!!!!

WAFRAHIIGIN HOOOOOOO!!!!!

For the minor details .... start date 8 September, where? South Auckland, staying with a friend until I can find myself a good flat/boarding place, commuting back home on my days off ... 2 night shifts, 2 day shifts and 4 days off.

I'm a paid ambewance owfiser, I'm a paid ambewance owfiser, I'm a paid ambewance owfiser!!!! Heheh!!!!

nail biting stuff

2008-08-05T13:14:00.002+12:00

Thankyou all so much for your support!! It means so much!

I haven't got much more to say but since it's been nearly a week since my last update I thought I'll keep you all posted as to what's happening ...

So what's happening?? lol ... nothing!! lol

I'm still waiting to hear back whether I got the job. I was told 2 weeks before I'd know and it has only been one week ... so I just sit and wait, and wait, and wait... nails getting shorter and shorter (no I'm just kidding, I'm not a nail biter)

I'll certainly keep you posted as soon as I know anything!!!

Glad it's over!!

2008-07-30T20:57:00.005+12:00

Lucky!!! I made the decision a week ago to go up the night before and stay in a motel room!!! I got to Auckland and settled into my room, turned on the news to see that the Kaurangahake Gorge was CLOSED!!! (due to heavy rain, flooding and slips!!) If I hadn't have gone up early I wouldn't have made it in time!!

Feeling quite alone in my room I set out to Silvia Park Mall for dinner and to buy a few bits and pieces I hadn't got (an exercise top and breakie/lunch for the next day). I got told to eat carbs for my dinner meal before. Given I hadn't eaten carbs for the last 28 days I was a bit nervous at choosing a pasta meal. My tummy groaned for a bit afterwards but was fine.

I didn't sleep well waking up every hour from 3am onwards. At 6am I was up and having a shower making sure I didn't wet my hair (that had been straightened) or my ankle (that had been strapped just in case) so was a very tricky shower.

I left the motel room at 7.20am and made it to Head Quarters at 7.25am (35mins early). Much rather to be early than late. The rain was horrendous!! First up was a group Team exercise and fortunately was with a really great bunch who all worked well together. The comment was made afterwards how well we worked together (which was the whole point of the exercise) Check one done!!

We then went on a rotational basis for our next 5 assessments. First up for me?? THE PHYSICAL!!! Two of us were doing it together and with me was a huge 6ft guy!! Stretches (including the one I was nervous about putting one arm over my shoulder the other under and touching) done!!! Phew!! Step ups?? DONE!! Carry chairing a 70kg dummy up and down 3 flights of stairs twice!! DONE!! (harder than I thought it would be) Pressups?? DONE!! (and done easy thanks to my training) Walk around the block carrying 4 pieces of equipment??? Given I was with a 6ft guy I had to take 2 steps for every one of his which made me push myself a whole lot harder ... DONE!! And 30 secs UNDERTIME!!! I was so happy to have the physical out of the way ... AND PASSED!! YEEE HAHHHH!!!

Next ... My formal interview ... I answered my best. It was none of the questions I thought it would be but they commented on a lot of answers what a good answer that was and finished off how good it was that I gave so many examples of situations I had been in. They couldn't believe that I was a full time volunteer that didn't get paid!!

Next ... a 40minute drive on the motorway and around the suberbs. I nearly didn't completely stop at a stop sign because I was too busy chatting to the assessor but realised just in time!! Phew!!! Passed!!!

Then map reading exam ... yay another passed!!

Then the clinical ... 40mins of questions assessing my medical knowledge. There was only one question I struggled on which I got ... eventually. Thankfully the assessor gave me the time to think about it. He said at the end that I was the best he had in this intake of people ... another yay!!!

Then a psycho analysis ... just answered the best I could and no way of telling how I did on that one.

It was a full on day of intense assessments!!! But at the end of it I really felt I did the best I possibly could!! I gave 100 percent and wouldn't change a thing!!!

Now I have 2 weeks of waiting for the outcome. If I get accepted I have a start date of early September which is just over 4wks away!!

I was absolutely buzzing on my way home ... a good days hard work!! As I was driving home the first news report said the gorge was still closed!! I only had 1/4 tank of gas left just out of Paeroa ... if it was still closed I would have to go all the way down to Matamata, over the Kaimai's to Tauranga and home ... an extra 1.5hrs on my journey. Lucky the gas station at Paeroa was still open as I came through so I filled up. The guy there told me that he thought the gorge had just opened but wasn't sure. So I took the chance and YES fortunately it had just opened as I came through ...

... home!! Finally!!! And glad to be so!! What a day ... but a happy day!!!

Here we goooo!!!

2008-07-28T10:46:00.002+12:00

TOMORROW IS THE DAY!!! The day I go to Auckland, stay the night and have my interview first thing in the morning. I have to be at Head Quarters at 8am sharp! I've managed to get a room to stay just down the road from there and I'm really nervous already!!!

I've been given advice from EVERYBODY!! And I've decided that I can't do any more now for my interview. If I don't make the grade now then I never will. For the past 28 days I have dieted, walked my butt off, done hundreds of pressups, step ups, crunchies, studied and memorised my proceedures, practiced and practiced my questioning of a sick patient, practiced my answering of interview questions, practiced my cpr and practiced my mapreading ...

... and now I'm over it!! I'm practiced out! I'm dieted out! I'm exercised out!! For the next 36hrs I will do nothing ... no I correct that ... I'm doing one more walk tonight and then NOTHING!!

I have a list of things to pack and a list of things still to do ... including getting my hair done tomorrow, sorting my exercise outfit out, getting my ankle strapped by my physio and packing my bag.

I'M SO NERVOUS!!! Let's hope I can get these nerves under control by Wednesday morning!!

Oh and by the way ... weighin I was exactly the same again ... 99.8kg

Waiting Game

2008-07-21T14:15:00.002+12:00

I got home on Thursday night, excited that the next day was D Day!! The day we would get the phone call whether our sale had gone unconditional ....

... sadly I got home to news from Bill that the agent had rang to say the buyers wanted more time to think about it. I was so angry I burst into tears!! How could this be?? Everything was going to plan so well!! I felt mucked around. Either it was yay or nay ... not a maybe, maybe not!!! It doesn't give me a good feeling.

I spent the night crying, and everytime I woke during the night, hoping it was all a bad dream the realisation that it wasn't a dream but reality sent me into another episode of crying.

Initially I was going to pull of my ambo shift on Friday but made the decision to carry on, knowing that sitting at home thinking about it all, would only make me worse.

So I turned up for duty on Friday with red, puffy eyes. My duty officer that day was very caring and listened to my blabbering, trying to add words of comfort.

Friday night was our ambulance awards dinner and I promised myself I wouldn't be focusing on the shop but enjoy myself, concentrating on my enjoyment of ambulance service.

We had a great night and I managed to keep my mind away from the disappointing news. Than an exciting unexpected thing happened ...

... I won the top award ... "Ambulance Officer of the Year" complete with certificate and trophy cup!! Yay!!!

And as far as my weighin ... I stayed the same this week ... which I'm ok about.

Now we continue to wait ... I HATE WAITING!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!

2008-07-10T08:30:00.003+12:00

OHHH MY WEEK JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!!

Official weighin today .... At 5.50am getting up and ready for ambo duty today I hoped on the scales and my eyes jumped out of my scull like a cartoon character!!!

99.8kg!!!!!!

Can you believe it???? I'm struggling to .... I'M IN DOUBLE DIGITS!!!! FINALLY!!! After 18mths I'm finally under 100kgs!!! Ohhhhh those numbers looked so beautiful today!! I was dancing round the room singing 99.8 ... I'm 99.8 ... 99.8 ... I'm 99.8!!! While Bill trying to sleep grumbled at me ... I didn't care ... I'm 99.8!!!!

So in one week I lost 5kgs!!!!! exactly!! 104.8kg I was last Thursday. I've never lost that much weight in one week!!!! Shows what complete determination can achieve!!! And this is the most determined I've EVER been to lose weight!

And to top it off I was talking to the First Aid tutor here at the station this morning who lives in Auckland (there's a First Aid course being held at the station today) and we got talking about my Auckland application and she said if you need a place to stay on your days up there come stay with us. Absolutely perfect!!! She's with St Johns so she understands my work, they're a retired couple (so no late night parties to keep me awake) with no kids at home in a 4 bedroom house and they both work during the day (so I can sleep when I need to after night shift) and they were looking for a border!!! I can't believe it!! Fantastic!! Ohh and she's on a weightloss program too so no temptations!! She just has to go home to talk it over with hubby but she said she thinks it will work out perfectly!!! And she's a sweetie!!!

Ohhhh this is all just perfect!!!!! Doin the 90's girl jig today I tell ya!!!

You wouldn't believe it!!

2008-07-07T08:06:00.003+12:00

And I thought things were looking great when I did my last post .... since then ...

I got a phone call on the ambulance from my station manager on Thursday to say someone from Auckland was trying to contact me and gave me his details ...

It was the Auckland job application ... I was so nervous making the phone call back to him ...

My ambo partner was quietly squeeling in the background ... she had to pull over she was beside herself ...

"Congratulations!! you have been shortlisted for your Auckland job application! We were inundated with hundreds of applications and well done you've made it to the final 20! Congrats!!" He started ...

I had to take a deep breath ... I couldn't believe it!!!!

He then proceeded to tell me about the 8hr interview I'll be having on the 30th July ... yep you read right .... 8 hours!!!!! I have to be at Mt Wellington HQ at 8am and it's over at 5pm!! Ohh my friggen goodness!!!

Here's whats involved ...

- a 45minute driving exam in an ambulance, both suburbian and motorway
- map reading exam
- group lateral thinking scenario and individual assessment afterwards
- literacy exam
- clinical exam
- resusitation scenario
- phsyco and ethical analysis

and ....

A 45 MINUTE PHYSICAL!!! including a 1km run with 20kgs worth of gear to carry, 25 pressups in 1 minute, 45 situps in one minute, 45 step ups, and a whole lot more stuff ...

I got off the phone and the other officer (who calls a spade a spade) says "Right you have some phone calls to make ... ring Bill, now ring Pauline (my station manager) ... now listen ... you have 28 days left ... you have to pull your finger out of your ass and get out there walking and exercising and get back into losing some major weight girl!!! You have to do this, you are too good to miss out on this opportunity because of your fitness ... get out there and do it!!! Sorry to be so blunt but you know me I tell it like it is and someone has to say it.

I actually wasn't offended at all and thanked her for her honesty. She was exactly right!! It was the exact thing I needed to kick my ass into gear!

So I've put myself on a very strict regime for 28 days ... no starchy carbs at all!! Meat and vege for dinner and a protein shake for breakfast and lunch, snacks of fruit and 2 bottles of water. 30mins (at least) of exercise 6 days a week. I'm not a huge fan of protein shakes long term but I have to think about it like a body building working up to a competition ... I have to go hard and whatever works I HAVE to do ... I haven't got time to muck around ... I have 28 days!!! That's it!!

Here's my weights so far (have been weighing daily)

Thurs - 104.8kg
Friday - 103.6kg
Saturday - 102.7kg
Sunday - 101.5kg
Today - 100.9kg

Nearly 4kgs in 4 days!! ... I know I won't be able to keep losing at that rate ... but boy I have to do my damned best!!! I soooo want this job!!!!

Ohhh and Kathryn ... yes I would be very interested to find out more about that boarding opportunity!! I don't know (if I get the job) which station I'll be at and which area of Auckland but if you could get back to me with where they live for a start ...

I'm sooooo excited ... and nervous!!!

One door closes, another opens ...

2008-06-25T13:28:00.002+12:00

I have to admit I was wrong. I imagined Bruce's funeral to be a bundle of nerves and stress for us all, but it all went really well. We had a lot more people come than expected with the last few in the hall having to stand at the back.

It was a simple ceremony with the minister opening, Bill giving a eulogy and then the floor opened up for anyone to speak and tell of their stories of Bruce. And heaps of people came forward to say their bit. There must have been over 20 people speak in the end. We had laughs and lots and lots of tears and everyone left remembering what an amazing guy he was. Some who took life by the horns and lived it without boundaries. It was sweet seeing grown men in absolute tears for a mate who they loved and respected.

The last of the family went home today so it's just us again. Back to peace and quiet with no screaming kids or screaming adults for that matter. Although in saying that it was really neat catching up with all the cuzzies again.

Turns out the job I applied for at the lab (admin one) probably won't eventuate. They've decided they can get away without employing anyone now. Ahhh well.

A few days ago I learnt that the casual ambulance officer position probably wasn't going to happen for exactly the same reason. But I had a strange peace about it all. I know something will come up.

Then yesterday my boss at the station called me aside to say that the RSO (my boss's boss) was so impressed with my work on the road that he rang his boss (who employs the casuals) to put in an excellent word for me and persuade him to employ me and all without my knowing. I was blown away!! I've been told I should hear back in the next couple of weeks on that.

I also had it suggested by my station manager to apply for Auckland. They are currently taking on officers. In the past I've always shyed away from this knowing they are run off their feet. It's a hectic place up there, but in saying that I know that it would be good for me. It means putting myself way out of my comfort zone but deep down I know it will sharpen my skills and confidence on the road.

So yes you guessed it, I've put my application in for Auckland. I can hear all your questions now ... but where will you live? are you moving back to Auckland? What about Bill and the kids?? The kids are happy here in Waihi and very settled. If I get the Auckland job it's a 4 day on four off roster, so I'll find myself a flat or boarding place up there, Bill and the kids will stay in Waihi and then I'll come back home to Waihi on my days off. My long term plan (if I get this job) is to get my skills up and a good look on my cv for when the new officer position comes available back in Waihi (in around a year to eighteen months). We'll wait and see, don't even know if I'll get a look in for the job... ambo jobs are very very hard to get (so I've learnt)

The shop sale is going as planned so far. Still have to wait for it to go unconditional in a couple of weeks time, but everything looks good so far.

We've found ourselves a place to rent in Waihi. It's still being built at the moment and will be ready a week or so after we move from here, so might mean going on a little holiday first maybe. It's a brand new brick and tile 3 bedroom place with ensuite, heatpump, new carpet, new kitchen ... thank god!!! We have lived in grotty little holes since moving from our new house in Auckland. To have a place that doesn't have the wind whistle threw when all the doors and windows are shut, a place that actually looks clean once it's been cleaned, a place with a front door (not a back coridoor from the back of a shop as the front entrance), a place to call HOME!!! Our current house is not a home, sure we have our furniture there but it is just accomodation. So to have something brand spanking new ... yay!!!

I might just have to go shopping

2008-06-19T08:12:00.003+12:00

Wow thankyou guys. It's good to be back blogging again. I think the break was good to make me appreciate the simpleness of the reasons why I want to blog. I started to get caught up in should I say this? shouldn't I say this? who is reading? what will everyone think? When at the end of the day blogging is not about all that stuff ... it's purely and simply a ways of communicating to a bunch of friends. Having the break away made me realise how I was over complicating it all. At the end of the day I missed my bunch of mates, and THAT is why I blogg!

The funeral organisation is nearly done. Poor Bill has had it all on his shoulders to organise it all. There are 5 boys in the family ... the oldest is in Aussie so can't really do much, the next went over to Switzerland to bring Bruce back, the next one works full time and didn't really put his hand up, the next was Bruce and lastly baby bro Billy. He's done well considering, although I've had to take my hands off given it's not my brother and I can see things being done a little ... umm... shall we say ... corner's cut. I tried to put a gentle word in to give some advice which wasn't recieved too well so have left it to him and will just have to bite my lip for a bit. But that's ok, I'll get over it! lol

Bruce arrives home tommorrow and is being brought down by hearst from Auckland airport to Paeroa where the funeral director is. He will stay there for the next few days till the funeral on Monday, allowing anyone who wants to go see him to be able to there. I was a little nervous when Bill said he wanted to go see him. I warned him that Bruce has been dead for nearly two weeks now so he won't look the same. Infact he will not be looking very good at all, and that I hoped Bill won't have that memory stuck in his head and will be able to remember him as he was, not as the empty remains he last sees him as. I understand Bill's point tho that until he sees him there won't be a closing for Bill. It's all still too much like a story that happened somewhere over the other side of the world.

As for the sale of the shop not much else has happened. Basically now it's a matter of waiting for the time to go by. And I'm sure it will be going by veeery, veeery, slowly.

Onto weightloss, after all that is the whole point of my blog!! lol ... and laugh out loud I have to do. It has certainly not been my focus for the last month but it never is when my world feels like a tornado. I've been doing this for long enough to recognise that when things settle down again I will get back into it and start cracking the whip again.

And I need to do this ... because I have a friggen ball to go to ... like an evening wear ball gown ball!!! I have nothing to wear!! I got out some dresses I had from my slimmer days and had a little try on last night. Of course most were too small but one of them nearly fitted ... just the overly endowered boobs popped out the top!! Just imagine that?? On the dance floor and a boob decides to go for a runner, not a good look!!!! lol

So I guess I need to do a little shopping before the date of the ball ... 28th June, either that or lose 20kg by then ... hmmm ... don't think so!! lol

Catch up

2008-06-17T09:10:00.002+12:00

Where to start??

Thankyou all for your lovely comments. I'm sorry for not updating in such a long time. No excuses really, just got into a funk and decided to take a break for a bit, from weight watchers and blogging. No other reason.

It's been a crazy month ...

Firstly, I didn't get the ambo job. Got a bit disalutioned at first wondering if I was wasting my time thinking I could ever get a paid ambo job. After a couple of days sulking I snapped myself out of it and realised I still love doing my ambo work regardless of whether I get paid or not.

I was informed by one of my bosses that the only reason I didn't get onto the short list was my qualification level and to keep working on that. So that's what I'm doing. I've since been asked to apply for a relief officer position which I have and am waiting to hear back about. If I'm successful in this it will give me something very positive to put on my cv and the pay is very good when you do get work, although can be very speradic. But it all helps at the end of the day.

We got some very sad news last Monday 9 June. Bill's brother in Switzerland died in an absailing accident. We still don't have all the exact details as to what happened. His other brother is over there at the moment organising bringing his body back to New Zealand for burial. In the meantime Bill has been organising his funeral and I've been running the shop and house. He was only 36 years old! Far too young for anyone to die!! He arrives back in the country on Friday and his funeral will be here in Waihi on Monday.

The other news is that we have had an offer on the shop which we are going to accept. There's been negotiations back and forth for the last couple of weeks and we have come to a price both us and the purchaser agree on. It goes unconditional in the middle of July with settlement date 31 July. It still may fall over, as with any sale it's not final until the money's in the bank but I feel very positive about it.

Both Bill and I are excited about the next chapter in our lives. Not quite sure what we're both going to do but to be relieved of the burden of the shop which we have worked our butts off in for the last four years will be very nice.

We've decided that for the meantime we will stay in Waihi, shifting from the beach into Waihi itself (a bit cheaper rent and more jobs). The kids are happy and settled here so hopefully we can find a job ... see what happens, who knows??

I've applied for a part time admin job in a research lab here in Waihi. I've made it to the final two people and find out in the next 3 weeks if I'm successful or not. So hopefully with that and the relief ambo stuff will be enough to get us by. Then Bill will also keep his ear to the ground for some work.

So very sad and exciting news all in the same post.

Flu jab ... is it worth it?

2008-05-16T06:34:00.002+12:00

So much for having my free flu jab ... I got the flu!!! Almost back to normal now just a nagging cough lurking around.

Still no word on my job application yet, they're taking a while.

Weighin on Wednesday brought a 700g loss. I'm picking my brains to find a strategy to get below the 100kg mark. This one is so physcological for me and I'm not sure why. I keep bouncing around that mark and just can't quite get under it. A big part is that I still feel like I have such a long way to go. Remembering back to when I did Jenny Craig nearly 20yrs ago my start weight was exactly 100kg ... that was JUST my START WEIGHT!!! And here I am 20yrs later still at 100kg!!

With some of my friends stopping blogging I've lost my accountability or more importantly that comrardery, the hype that builds eachother up to get through those tough moments. I really need to sort something out here. The local ww meeting closed down months ago and I don't want to go to SureSlim (too expensive for me). And I get so busy, time is an issue.

I'll have to keep thinking on this one. But for this week I've had my first two days OP so that's a good start.

Gotta get moving

2008-05-07T07:32:00.003+12:00

I went to his funeral on Monday and my emotions surprised me. I found myself feeling really angry. It felt like such a waste, he had a beatiful wife and kids and so many people around him who loved him. The room was absolutely packed out!!! There would have been over a thousand people there. We were in a side room with standing room only. So many people spoke of what a fantastic guy he was. Such a waste! His wife came up to me and gave me a hug which was really nice.

Onto the weight front ... yeah a yucky gain this week but I expected it. I can never count points properly when other stuff is going on. 1kg up but onto a good week. No more time mucking around, gotta get to those double digits!!

Ohhhh and I almost forgot ... I played netball last night, first time in over 20yrs!!! And I ran (yes ran!) up and down the courts 8 times!! First time I have run on my ankle since breaking it 18mths ago. It's very sore today but I'm proud ... ohhh and we won our game!! 25 to 7 !! yay!!

Back from AWOL land ...

2008-05-03T17:03:00.003+12:00

I've been AWOL from bloggerland the last week. Well I haven't been totally not blogging just not publishing my posts and doing them in draft only. I've decided an the end of the week that I'm not actually going to publish them. It's nothing against you guys but I've had a seriously emotional week and dealing with a lot of very tender personal issues which I feel wouldn't be appropriate to put on here.

Now don't going worrying yourselves about me or my family - we're fine. To give you a basic outline - I went to a job last Wednesday that involved a suicide in which my ambo partner and I were first on scene and we were unsuccessful in reviving him and it really hit home because I knew him. St Johns were fanstastic and had a huge amount of support there for me both immediately after and over the next few days. It affected me big time causing me to have nausea and vomiting for a few days and tossing and turning at night. I think I'm working through it ok, however my emotional stress is nothing compared to what his wife and young kids have to deal with. My heart just goes out to her!!!

Next step is the funeral on Monday which might bring a few emotions back up again.

I found my eating was very minimal over the week as my stomach just couldn't face it. But I tried very hard to eat what I could to keep my energy levels up. I weighed in at 100.5kgs this week which is a good loss but a weighin post last Wednesday just seemed so insignificant with what happened that day. So I've chosen to leave it till today to post.

Now I've worked through some of the stuff (blogging privately helped alot with this) I'm back to 'normal' blogging again.

who needs 3 wishes, just 1 ... I want that job!!

2008-04-24T06:39:00.003+12:00

Did my first day back counting points yesterday and must admit it gave me a huge sense of being in control again. I ended up having to eat on the run for dinner so as the person I was with was driving through KFC I decided on a Works burger for dinner. Obviously not my first choice in healthy nutrition. I guestimated at 8-9pts making me 1 or 2pts over for the day, not too bad I reasoned with myself.

This morning I looked up the KFC website to find that actually the works burger is infact only 4pts!!! I triple, quadrupally tested it ... yep only 4pts! So here I was feeling guilty about nothing! It actually meant I was under points by 4 for the day.

~~~

I've had the wonderful pleasure of being awarded the latest award going round by Linda and CactusFreek ... sounds like I'm describing a flu bug! haha! Not quite the same horrible side effects. Awww ... Thankyou guys ...

Now to pass it on ... given alot of my blogs I read have either stopped or gone private I've only chosen out of the public ones. There's so many wonderful blogs I could choose but have decided on these ones for their 'stickibility' ... that's what weightloss is about ... being in for the long haul and these three chicks I am commending for that!! Well done guys!!

So here's who I pass it onto ... Zanna, Hippygal, and Jen ...

Onto another day ... my day off in the shop so as usual I've jumped on the ambulance for the day. My job application closes off tomorrow so hopefully should hear back next week if I've made the short list ... so hope so! But of course not getting my hopes up too much ... who am I kidding??? My hopes are through the roof!!!

was good but not for me

2008-04-23T09:38:00.002+12:00

Greenlane diet week is over and I managed to lose 600g. Not good enough results for me to keep doing it. I'm happy with a 600g loss but the sacrifices I had to persevere with don't make it worthwhile.

I found after the three hard out days I went into a rebellion mode with food. Kinda like the noose is off now so 'LET'S EAT!!!' The book says you can lose up to 4.5kgs in 3 days. We all know that won't be 4.5kgs of fat!! After day three I was down 2.6kgs but of course as soon as I went back to normal eating again my gut filled up again and I was back up another 2kgs over the following 4 days.

So I'm back to counting points again. It's always interesting how take something away makes you appreciate it. Very glad to be counting points again and eating 'normally'.

Onto another eating healthy week. Only 1.3kgs to go to get into double digits!

Simple pleasures

2008-04-18T07:12:00.004+12:00

I'm pleased to say I completed my first three days on the Greenlane diet. I now have four days of healthy eating but not to a strict menu. It was really hard going!! REALLY hard! I found each day by the time I got to mid afternoon I was feeling very lathargic, light headed and headachey. Proud of myself that I stuck to it rigidly all bar 2 glasses of wine on the night of day two.

Bill had a friend/customer in the shop yesterday that he was telling about how we were doing this Greenlane Diet. She said "you're crazy!! That diet is for people who are so sick in hospital. They are stuck in bed and can't move all day! And you guys are eating the same amount AND walking around! I don't know how you can do it!"

I hadn't actually thought of it like that. I don't think it will be a permanent thing for me but more of a kickstart to get my motivation back which it seems to be doing.

Lynda and Jules you are totally right! I couldn't remember what he had died of. I had an idea it was something non-related to weight but couldn't quote that on here as I wasn't totally sure. So thanks for pointing that out.

I'm really enjoying his book for reasons other than weightloss as well. It's been very good timing. We are currently going into winter which is always a tough time financially for us. We're having to live day to day budgeting to pay bills and when you own a shop like this the bills are big amounts ... in the thousands so we have to be very tight with our money. Some days it gets us down and very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway getting back to the book ... this guy talks about another side of life ... one where he had no issues with money, where he was jetsetting all over the world for meetings. Over to London for 8hrs then back again, flying all over New Zealand multiple times in a day, smoozing clients in fancy restaurants, buying big fancy cars and living a life many people dream about. Yet he wasn't happy. He found himself not communicating with his wife because he was too busy being the big exec and by the time he got home he would flop into bed and start all over the next day.

It was a great reminder to me that money isn't everything. I've never had a desire to be hugely rich but enough to cover the bills and a little left over for some playtime is the dream for me. And sometimes I feel very let down in life because we've had to work so hard just to pay the bills. This man made me refocus on the fact that yes we may be broke, but hey we have a great relationship together (Bill and I) where we can be together every night and talk, we can work happily together, take the kids out for a swim down the beach as a family, play 'bat down' out in the back yard as a family and generally we can have the time just to be us, with out the rush, rush, rush of the 'high life'. We have our health and we have to be grateful for those small things because in all reality those small things ... are actually big things in life ...

To simplify it down it reminded me ... 'Don't worry!! Be happy!!'

P.S. - for those of you who asked what happened about Bill's job ... he never heard back so we're taking that as a no. Pretty rude of them not to let him know, but that's ok we're happy with that.

Don't run away mojo!!

2008-04-16T07:09:00.004+12:00

Firstly ... 'Me' ... the guy's name that wrote Diary of a Fat Man is Paul Jeffreys. (published by Penguin Books) Hope that helps. I must admit I tried to do a search on the net to find a pic for yesterdays post but found very little info on it. I wonder if they pulled it from publication when he died.

This new menu plan is working out great for me! (the Greenlane one I talked about yesterday). It's really hard to stick to and I'm finding I'm getting really hungry (like stomach majorly growling at me hungry) between meals. I think this is a good thing for me right now. I got so used to the points system where if I got hungry I just ate and used the points from another day.

Get this ... I've EVEN gone to black coffee/no sugar!!! (normal is white/1 large tsp sugar) And it's not actually too bad!

As you may recall I had beetroot for my menu dinner last night. I had raw beetroot there that I was going to cook up. But not wanting to add sugar I found a recipe to roast them with garlic and balsamic vinegar which in theory sounded devine ...ehem ... 2.5hrs later everything else was cooked and we were still waiting for the beetroot. I gave up, took it out of the oven and decided to boil it ... half an hour later I thought they must be cooked. The kids had eaten everything else on their plate so I peeled the beetroot and dished it up. "YUMM!! Beetroot like grandma does!!" came their excited replies. They started hooking into it as I peeled Bill's and my portions. "Umm, it's okay, not quite as good as grandma's beetroot" I heard them say. As I took a bite of my beetroot I was discusted!! It was revolting!!! Still crunchy and raw!!! Those poor kids ate their beetroot without another word! I just couldn't eat mine! YUCK!! I gave in and went and got a can of the stuff out of the cupboard. "You kids want any more of the canned stuff?" "No mum I'm full" Poor things! lol

We finished the night off with our allotted ww icecream and baked apples.

This morning it was worth it all with a loss of 600g on the scales for my weekly weighin! Very happy given I've only been on this plan one day.

My food for today is ...

Breakfast - 1 boiled egg, 1 slice dry toast, 1/2 banana

Lunch - 1 cup cottage cheese, 5 snax crackers

Dinner - 2 Frankfurters, 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup carrots

Snack - 1 cup ww icecream, 1/2 banana

My mojo may very well be on it's way back!!

Anyone seen my mojo? ...

2008-04-15T14:27:00.005+12:00

I'm trying desperately to find my mojo again. It's totally vanished and do ya think I can remember where I left it???

While waiting for the pager to go off at the ambo station the other day I picked up a book and started reading. 'Diary of a Fat Man'. I'm usually against such 'tacky' books but his writing style actually grabbed my attention.

It still goes against the grain for me reading a book about a guy who loses 64kgs to 'gain his life back' (his words) and then dies 6mths later!! But hey still a good read.

I'm about a third of the way through it and one of the diet's he does (twice a year) is the 'Greenlane Diet' named because Greenlane Hospital uses it for all their patients waiting for open heart surgery. It's remarkably simple and cheap so I thought 'what they hey? I'll give it a go'

It involves a very strict diet for three days and 4 days off, 3 days on, 4 days off etc. I think I need a bit of structure at the moment to get me aysse into line!

This is todays food ...

Breakfast - 1/2 grapefruit, 1 slice dry toast, 1tblsp peanut butter

Lunch - 1 slice dry toast, 1/3c tuna

Lunch - 1 cup green beans, 1 cup beetroot, 2 slices lean meat

Dessert - 1 small apple, 1 cup ww icecream

Feeling good so far but only upto lunchtime... see how I feel on day 3!!!

Feel good about this one

2008-04-09T09:55:00.003+12:00

I know I've been a bit scarce of late. Things are still crazy busy.

Weighin today gave me a 1.8kg loss showing that lasts week gain was infact fluid as I'd thought it was.

Not sure if I told you guys but I missed out on the Tauranga ambulance job. Wasn't too worried as I didn't expect to get it.

I've now sent my CV off for a job that's come up in Thames, for a Patient Transport Officer (2 days), and Frontline crew (2 days). And the cool part is they are asking for an officer of my level (primary care 2 officer).

So basically means for 2 days a week (12hr shift) it will mean transporting patients between hospitals and the other 2 days on ambulance. (then 2 days off) And Thames is only 35mins drive away so I can easily commute.

So fingers crossed

Proud moments

2008-04-06T08:31:00.003+12:00

*UPDATE*

Oopps!! I forgot to post the pics of Lee-anne's wedding. Here they are (below)

I've had my head buried in the sand the last week. Not wanting to admit the bad food I've been consuming. I think it started by the fact that I felt I did really well eatingwise at Lee-annes wedding and came home to a yucky gain. Then it went downhill from there. The whole thought of 'what's the point?' filled my brain.

So when my official gain showed up on Wednesday I couldn't bring myself to blog it. 104 yucky kilograms!!!!

Then two days later it was back down again to 101.7kg!!! That's just cruel! But I'm back ontrack again after a couple of days of sulking and wallowing in my pity!

Lee-anne's wedding was absolutely beautiful! She was stunning! She asked me to post some pics for her till she gets back from sunny Rarotonga! (lucky tart!)

While there I got talking to a lady (who I'd never met before) and turns out she is the mother of the guy that interviewed Bill for the new job he was going for in Rotorua! How bizzare is that?? And then she ends up being at our table at the reception... too weird! Still no news on how Bill got on yet.

Yesterday I attended a funeral of a young 26yr old guy who died of cancer. Very very sad! He was a truck driver and fire brigade officer here in Waihi. So they had a full ceremonial farewell for him with the Fire Brigade, Police and Ambos in full formal uniform. The casket was on top of his fire truck and behind we all marched in perfect rows of four ... Firies, then us ambos, then police. We marched behind right down the main street. Hundreds of people lined the streets and everyone was in perfect silence!! Was a very emotional moment!! The sense of pride felt by us all in respect for one of our own was overwelming!

After the funeral we marched back to the fire station and behind us was a long line of logging/freight trucks about 15 of them all up. And as we reached the station each of the trucks drove by slowly and one by one pomped their horn in goodbye, it went on for quite some time. Everyone had tears in their eyes! There was a moments silence then the fire station siren went off for a last call for him. The officers got in their fire trucks and they slowly drove off for a private family cremation. Every single person had tears in their eyes! What an amazing sendoff to one amazing officer who was taken much too soon!!!

Did aliens take my patient????

2008-03-28T20:01:00.004+13:00

We are still waiting to hear back from Bill's interview. Overall the store manager wanted to hire him, the 2IC was very insecure about him and they were offering a much lower salary than expected.

But I'm taking one day at a time and see what happens... will keep you posted :)

I had an ambo job at 1.30am this morning. I never do night jobs well ... it always takes about 10mins for my brain to kick into action.

On our way there COMMS came back saying two patients were at Waihi Police station so they reassigned our paramedic and one ambulance there and sent us (the other ambulance) to the scene to check there were no other occupants hidden, lost or abandaned at the scene.

When we got there we had a good look around the smashed up car and in the bushes, had a chat to the fire brigade and police and there didn't seem to be any patients unaccounted for.

I gave an update to COMMS ...

"We are R23 code 2"

Their reply ... "Sorry, Waihi Beach1 can you repeat that message!!!??!"

"We are R23 code 2 ... ohhhh ... ummm ... ooops ... sorry, correction ... (pause) ... we are R35!!! code 2"

I was so embarrased ... My boss's boss came on air next to say "Thankyou WaihiBeach1 you can stand down and return to station" with a chuckle in his voice ...

why was he (and everyone else listening to the radio) laughing???? ....

... because ... what I was supposed to say was ...

"R35 code 2" which means ...

R35 ... ambulance stand down ... code 2 ... patient gone by other transport

What I did say was ...

R23 ... PATIENT DEAD!!! code 2 ... and gone by other transport!!

I can't believe it did that!!! HOW EMBARRASING!! and infront of all those people!
Hmmm ... think I might be up for a blooper award on that one at the mid winter ambulance awards.

...

I'm very excited to say we are off for the weekend to go to Lee-Anne's wedding. Bill and I without the kids. The last time we went away without kids was ... I can't honestly remember!!

We've organised a babysitter to stay overnight with the kids, staff in the shop and my ambulance rosters to be covered... a big mission but we did it!!

Then we rang the babysitter to check we were all good for tomorrow and her reply "ohhh am I staying overnight??? I didn't know that ... ohhhh ..."

WTF???!!!??

We told her that at the start ... lucky Bill was on the phone to her not me. He was much more polite than I would have been!!

So yes to still do have a babysitter ... just as well!!!

We're off ... and boy do I need it!!!

Yay go Lee-anne!!!

MEN!!!!!

2008-03-27T10:29:00.003+13:00

How am I today??

Interesting question ... Numb would be one word. Angry another, helpless, manipulated, alone, lost, nervous with a small amount of maybe I'm over exagerating and it's all about nothing!!!

I certainly hope I'll wake up tomorrow and it's the latter.

As I type this Bill is driving to Rotorua ... for a job interview!

Yep! We have a business we run together, yep I am trying to train as an ambo officer which takes a good 40hrs a week, yep we have 4 kids together.

Why??? Because for the last 3 winters we have struggled financially, because he's lost the passion for the shop, because he's bored.

So much spinning through my head. My life is at a crossroads and will turn in a dramatically different direction depending on the decision of one man in an office in a supermarket in Rotorua!!!

I'm mad!! I have followed this man all around the country for the last 13yrs of our marriage so he can persue his dreams. The whole reason we have this shop is because HE wanted it, not me! And now that he's bored of it he's thrown his toys out of the cot and followed another idea. Leaving me to pick up the pieces.

What will happen to my ambo work?? I really don't know! I finally found a passion. For years and years I sat at home without a passion, no reason to wake up in the morning. Then I stumbled across something that made me feel like I was useful. Now I may have to throw it all away.

Put your foot down and say NO! you say?? Do you not think I have tried that? My husband is a very stubborn man!

What do I do now?? Not much I can do that I haven't already tried. My hands are tied and I'M PISSED OFF!!!

Thankyou letter

2008-03-26T08:40:00.005+13:00

Another 400g gone this week. Definately not complaining about this one, given I did indulge in a little bit of chocolate over Easter. Not huge amounts tho. What I did find was that the 4 or 5 easter eggs made me cave in to other temptations.

I'm definately an all or nothing personality, so when I slip up in one area I find it hard to keep tracking my food and stay OP. I know all the theory behind this and did manage to stay ontrack ... just. I guess my focus was gone this week.

But that's all good because this is the first day of a brand new tracking week for me and I managed to squeeze in with a loss. So what am I actually complaining about?? lol Not actually sure. Guess I need to refocus my motivation and give myself a kick up the butt and be grateful the scales were nice for the few indescretions.

Onto other news...

The shop was crazy busy over Easter! It was our biggest Easter yet, one day we were up by over $2000 for the day (compared to Easter Saturday last year). That definately helps ... ohh except for the fact that Bill paid $3000 to the wrong person last night on internet banking!!! A big $3000 whoopsie!!! The stupid bank wouldn't help us because we couldn't tell them our phone pin number! And of course he had to pay another $3000 to the CORRECT person ... I tell ya sometimes I think that man is a natural blonde under that dark cover!!

Ambulance has also be crazy busy over easter with so many people here at the beach. No major catastrophe stuff which is good. Been doing study this week (for my Nat Cert in Ambulance) on irregular heart rhythms and then recognised an odd ecg rhythm strip on a job and was able to query what heart condition she had. Very cool feeling to have my study actually come together on a job.

There was a letter this morning in the local paper from a patient I took to hospital (well it was the mother of the 18mth old patient) ... rather than reword it I'll type it in here for you ...

Volunteers' effort a priceless asset ...
This letter is dedicated to all the mainly volunteers who work for organisations who assist people within the Waihi area.
Our son has a severe condition where quick response from a doctor and St John is essential.
We are highly impressed and very thankful for the unselfish effort the people of Waihi/Waihi Beach put into this mainly volunteer work.
We were recommended to move closer to the hospital but we think we are better off living in Waihi where midical first aid is extremely professional, quick and effective.
Thankyou all very much to the people who support and help us.
A town is just as good as its inhabitants - Waihi rocks!!!

When people ask why I love ambulance so much .... this is why!!

See you can lose weight over Easter ...

2008-03-21T07:06:00.002+13:00

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!

See? You can have easter eggs and lose weight!! Just do what this easter bunny is doing for 15mins prior to consumption This easter will be a pretty uneventful one for me. I'm doing an ambo shift today and working in the shop for the rest of it.

I heard an interesting thing on the radio yesterday from an obesity campaigner (preventing obesity in children). They said not to limit chocolate for kids over easter, infact feed them up on it if that's what they want. They had my attention with that statement! Because one or two days of eating chocolate is not going to make a huge difference in the big picture. It's the everyday treats that we should be trying to limit.

Very true!! Infact in my opinion if we don't give ourselves a little bit of chocolate every now and then I think as females we deprive our central nervous system ... and turn just stark raving mad!!! Well me anyway! Infact, I also heard on the radio yesterday (yes I was actually working, not just radio listening all day) that 33% of women feel they need chocolate every single day.
I don't think I'm quite like that, but certainly need it every now and then, just a little to keep those mad, crazy neutrons in my brain from exploding!

How bout you guys? Are you going to give in to the chocolate urge?

who needs a soap opera ...?

2008-03-19T12:44:00.004+13:00

I'm very happy to report a 100g loss today. Much better than the horrid gain I thought I would have. It's just the kick start I needed.

Thankyou all so much for your wonderful comments. Blew me away with your support.

I'm still getting used to this new computer with it's little quirks, but we've come to be quite attached to eachother now. The first night the internet kept freezing and I got frustrated and closed it, giving it some abusive names.

I've since learnt it was infact the modem/internet that was playing up not my laptop. I had to apologise for the name calling. Must have worked because she's behaved well ever since.

Had to take Malachi (10) to the doctors yesterday. The school had rung up to say he was in the sick bay with a 'croupy' cough. I said to the office lady over the phone that I don't think it would be croup. Kids grow out of that around 5 or 6. He had it a couple of years ago and was considered very old for it then at aged 8.

I went down and picked him up anyway and on hearing his 'bark' cough had to admit to the lady that she may be right, it did sound like croup (damnit I had it when I'm wrong!! lol).

Sure enough the doc confirmed it ... a very surpising case of croup in a 10yr old. He had a really loud audible wheeze you could hear from over a metre away. Not much the doc could do as to give him steroids late in the day would mean him being up all night (makes them ultra alert).

So we hoped and prayed he wouldn't get worse overnight with the temperature drop. Gave him some panadol before bed and rang the ambulance crew on duty to prepare for a possible callout if he did worsen.

But surprisingly enough he slept through the night and seemed alot better this morning. So I think he's over the worst of it and managed to get better himself without any further medication.

Well that's my day's 'shortland street' episode.
Back to normality again ... touch wood!

Where would I be without you!!

2008-03-17T20:09:00.005+13:00

TTOM finally turned up yesterday ... 6 days late!!! Yes! I thought I was pregnant, not what I needed this time in my life. I was secretly stressing out about it which just made it worse.

So I had two weeks of PMS and my hormones were sending my brain in a spin. Making everything seem so much worse than they actually were.

And then I had a call from my brother asking if he could have my (his) computer back. I had it on long term loan. He offered for me to buy it from him but this wasn't an option (it was a very high spec laptop, very expensive). Added to my raging hormones was the fact that I wasn't able to keep my feet on the ground in blogland.

It was amazing to me how much support I actually get and missed both from reading your blogs and updating on here. Without it I felt lost!

Consiquently my eating was just stupid. Which of course didn't help with my headspace. I felt like I was in a downward spin. Like a skydiver who had their parachute in a knot. I didn't know quite how to get myself out of it ...

Then .... yesterday ...

... my darling husband gave me a present ... my very own brand new laptop!!! Yay! I was so excited, my superman flying down to cut my parachute ropes and pull out my reserve!!

I'm very lucky to have the wonderful man I do!! Not that I'm a fickle female who can be bought with some gift. But it was the fact that he knew how much my blogging meant to me and how lost I seemed without it, that he went out of his way to make me happy.

I love you Bill!! Thankyou honey!!

Damn! Damn! Damn!

2008-03-12T10:44:00.002+13:00

Bill bought me a lovely new charm to celebrate my 20kg loss mark ...

In his words it's 'graduating past 20kgs lost' ... graduation cap. I wore it with pride all week. Now I feel like a complete hypocrit because with fluid and my week before TTOM craving sugar, sugar, sugar ... lead to a 1.6kg gain this week ... BUGGER!!!

Not much else to say really... stupid teary hormones have started today too ... Sometimes it sucks being a woman!!!

I'm still here

2008-03-09T18:51:00.004+13:00

Firstly ... THANKYOU all so much for you encouragement!! :)

Quick update to let everyone know I'm still alive. Too tired to do a proper update tonight, just got back from 7hrs continuesly on the road on ambo. My boss had to stand me down, to stop me collapsing!! Been all over the countryside!! I'm k..nackered!!

I'll pop back tomorrow when my brain is actually working...

Happier than a cat with 10 fish!!!

2008-03-05T12:28:00.005+13:00

I was shocked to see a weight of 101.1kgs on the scales this morning ... I stood in stunned silence for a moment. My weight has been the same all week (if not slightly up) and thought I was going to have another 100g pathetic loss like last week ... but no!!!

1.6kgs gone!!! And that means .......

... I'VE LOST 20KGS!!! Yabba Dabba dooooooo!!!!

No make that 21.5kgs I've lost!!! *big grins*

Sooo ... you know what else that means??? A new photo (finally) to put on my blog ...

Before ...

20kgs gone ...

Don't really like to skite but there's no one else I can skite to, so sorry guys ... I'm quite chuffed even if I do say so myself!!!

Hmmm ... now which charm to choose!!

What some positive words can achieve ...

2008-03-03T20:41:00.003+13:00

Thanks for all your concern about Bill. It certainly was a shock at the time, but have since heard of others who have had similar things happen. Although we are still no closer to find out why, the doctor has told him he is fine to go back to work and carry on with life as normal.

No more incidents have happened since and he's feeling 100% better. I'm at least content in that.

...

Had a very cute little 5yr old girl in the shop today. Her mum and dad have an account with us. She came up to the counter with a couple of iceblocks and nervously asked if she could put them on the account. I looked out the window to catch mum's eye who was waiting in the car. With her nod of approval I treated her like I do her much older sisters, asking her name, and then got chatting to her about what class she was in school and who her teacher was. We had a lovely chat together and she excitedly ran out of the shop skipping off to her mum's car, smile as wide as could be!

Next minute her mum came in and asked me if she asked to put the iceblocks on the account correctly. "Yep! She did really well"

"Ohhh she was so excited to be just like her older sisters and do it by herself... but she was worried tho. As she hoped out of the car to walk in here she was saying to herself 'I can do this! I can do this! I can do this!!' "

My face lit up ... how cute!! If only we could all positive self talk as innocently as this little 5yr old and acheive as much, despite the fear of walking through that door!!!

The magic 15%

2008-03-02T09:33:00.003+13:00

My weight has been up and down all week. It seems this 20kg mark is going to be a hard wall to get through. But positive I can do this. I mean all I can do is stick to points, drink my water and keep my steps up ... after that whatever the scales decide to do is out of my hands.

Even though it doesn't feel like the scales are moving I have suddenly been overwhelmed with compliments from customers about my weightloss. It's funny how it all came in one week! With a year of doing ww and maybe only 1 or 2 comments from strangers all year and then this week I had 5 comments in 2 days!!! Very bizzare!

My cousin told me once about 5yrs ago that people never notice till around 15% weightloss. So? ... 122.6kg x 15% is 18.4kg loss ... well looky there!!

So those of you who are getting disheartened because no one is noticing ... hang on till that 15% mark ... seems it's true!

Day from hell!!

2008-02-29T21:00:00.004+13:00

Sitting at home last night, dinner eaten, watching some tv, in uniform, waiting for the pager to go off ...

... Bill gets up to go into the kitchen ...

... BANG!!

... thinking he's dropped something or ... I don't know what ... I call out "Bill??!! ... Bill!!?? Hello??? Bill, what's happened??" .... nothing ... no reply ...

.. I go into the kitchen, expecting to see him jump out from behind the wall to give me a fright. In the darkness I see a figure lying on the ground!! Switched on the light to see Bill lying on the ground, motionless!!!!

"Bill!! Bill!!" I shout to him, shaking him, slapping his face, pulling his eyelids open! A few seconds later (what seemed like forever!!) He starts to stur. "what's going on??" By this stage I'm dialing 111.

"Hi, I'm on WaihiBeach1, I'm on duty for waihi beach and my husband has collapsed"
" Ohhh wow, ok so is he breathing?" came the reply.
"Yes, he's coming too now... ok he's now GCS of 11 or 12 (normal is 15, unconsious is 3).
Bill ... "what's happening?"
Lyn ... "I'm calling the ambulance"
Bill ... "What???!!!, NO!!! I just need to go to bed!! Let me go to bed!!"
Lyn ..."No way!!! With what you just did I'm calling the ambulance and you can't tell me otherwise!!!"
Bill ... "Comon!! Hang up, don't call the ambulance!! I just need bed"

Then next minute he goes unconsious again. Still on the phone to 111 I tell them what's happening. Take his pulse, give them the reading ... normal. Bill comes to again and we go over the same conversation again, him telling me I'm crazy, that no ambulance is coming here.

I choose to ignore him, still on the phone to 111. The guy I was speaking to was awesome. I think he could hear the panic in my voice and chatted to me, making me totally calm and offering to stay on the line with me till the ambulance arrived.

"Hang on! I better tell my partner that she is responding to my house!"

Bill gets up and starts walking to the couch, picking up things along the way, cleaning up, mumbling to himself about having to tidy the house if we have people coming. I tell him off, to lie down on the couch, to which he didn't react very well. He was clearly not impressed that I'd called an ambulance!! Next minute he's unconsious again on the couch! I tell 111. Then he stops breathing!!!! This is when I started to panic. Thoughts running through my head that I may be doing CPR on my husband real soon!!!!!!

Training kicked in and I rolled him on his side (he's not a small boy!!!) and he took a big breath of air! That was the biggest relief I've felt in a very long time!!!!!

The 'other crew' (not my ambulance) turned up and unbeknown to me my 'normal' ambulance partner was on there too. Ohh the relief when I saw her!!! She told me that she threw her uniform on and jumped on board when she heard it was Bill. Hmmm ... that's made me cry right now, didn't effect me till now! Knowing my ambo mates are there for me is a really cool feeling!!!

So in all we had 5 of us in uniform in our tiny lounge and just as well because Bill was very uncooperative, refusing to go to hospital!!! I tell ya! If that had happened to a bloke in the street I would have treated them the same as I did my husband.

My normal partner stepped into bossy, 'don't fuck with me' mode and I love her to bits for that!! Given his antiness at going to hospital and blazay attitude they got him in the ambulance!!! Thank God!!!

This happened 3mths ago and he refused trasport! He's had 2 other episodes this week of near faints in which I've rushed him up to the doctors. He's had two lots of blood tests to try and work out what's going on.

With him on his way to hospital I then sat down to think about the logistics of how I was going to deal with this. I had 4 kids sleeping ... ambulance duty to do tomorrow ... a shop to get open in the morning ... and a sick husband on his way to hospital ... with no one ... I suddenly felt very alone ... no one to call to help!!!

Rang the one friend I could call on here to help with the kids and her phone went to answerphone. 10.55pm was it too late to turn up on her doorstep???

Too bad!! I grabbed the kids in the car and drove to her house. Knocking on the door, her partner answered the knock. "Yes?" "Bill's been taken to hospital, can I get you to look after the kids so I can drive down there??"

silence ....

"Is Sandy there???"
"She's asleep right now!"
(I was getting pissed of about now)
"Can you get her up?? I need someone to look after the kids. I don't know where else to turn!!"
"Well I suppose you could leave them here"
"Great!!" I didn't need a second offer!!!

Tucking four kids in one double bed I explained I'll be back in the morning to pick them up and off I went to Tauranga hospital ... 45mins drive away.

Was trying so hard not to speed. I travel and 'normal' speed plenty of times with very sick patients in the back. Why did I need to speed so much now ... was a very bizarre feeling!!

Got to the hospital and for 4hrs we wait to be seen!!!!!!

Then by 3am I'm thinking I need to be home in bed, I have to open the shop in a few hours so I make the decision to drive home at 3.30am with no sleep. I had to concentrate so hard on the way home. Arrived there ... finally and flopped into bed after setting my alarm for 6.30am ... 2hrs!!

5.30am my mobile rings ... it's Bill ... they're not going to admit him, I have to drive down to Tauranga ... again!!! and pick him up!!!

Get there ... drive home ... arriving 7.03am, open the shop, pick up the kids, get them ready for school, off to school, sleep for 2hrs (in between calls on the mobile by concerned parties), awake at 11am, get ready for ambo (my ambo partner covered me for the first 6hrs after a 24hr shift!!), shower, give Bill a break (yep he's back in the shop after docs say nothing wrong with him!!!! grrr another matter), drive to the station, shift for 6hrs meeting the big CEO of St Johns for a 'chat!' not that I was in the mood for chatting!!! Home at 6pm ...

now I'm buggered!!!! Sometimes life is shit!!! Today is one of those days!!! Don't need anything else in my day!!

100g of boogers up there??

2008-02-27T13:51:00.004+13:00

Well dag namit!! You wouldn't believe it would ya???

Soooooooooo close ... hmmm ... but no cigar!!

The scale flickered onto 102.6kgs, stayed for a few seconds and last minute jumped to 102.7kgs. I reweighed myself, sat on the loo (again), breathed in, blew my nose, even considered cutting some hair off!!! 100g loss this week ... 0.1kg off my goal of 20kgs in one year ... 19.9kgs lost (hmmm, doesn't quite have the same ring to it)

That's ok I guess, I'll still get to my 20kg loss mark, but it will have to be next week now!!

One celebration to have this week is that I did survive one whole year on weight watchers and still going strong!!

Just a little loss ... pleeeease???

2008-02-26T17:04:00.003+13:00

I managed to resist all the temptations yesterday. But was disappointed to see my weight was up this morning. It's been up all week so I'm hoping for a miracle tomorrow morning at weigh in. I'm not greedy ... just a insy winsy little 200g loss is all I want. Is that too much to ask? At this stage I have no idea if I'll have a loss or a gain. I've been spot on points all week so if the scales do decide to show me a gain I know it was undeserved and I'm saying now I won't let it get to me. Of course that attitude may change when I actually see the figure! Haha!

Umm ... not sure what else there is to blog about. Not much else has been happening. Same old, same old ... working in the shop, working on ambulance, working, working, working. Not much time for anything else.

Bill and I are off to a wedding in Rotorua in March. I've managed to rearrange my ambulance shift for the weekend, get staff in the shop and get babysitters!! Yay!! Talk about organisation though!! We don't get many weekends away on our own so that will be lovely to finally get away. Infact now that I think about it, it's the first weekend away alone together in maybe a year?? Wow that long? Think we need it then!! :)

I'll be back tomorrow with results ... ohhhhh and if it's a 200g loss or more (here's hoping!!!) ... photos!!! Yep! My 20kg loss photos!!! Oooooooh!! Exciting! Then I can start shopping for my next charm! So hope I make it!!!

They're calling .. "eat me! eat me!"

2008-02-25T14:16:00.003+13:00

Having a real down day today. I'm fortunate not to have too many of these (and no it's not TOM for me). Having to force myself not to emotionally eat.

I bought a Toblerone chocolate bar from the snack box at the station today. I spent a good few minutes going through each thing working out the best value for points, made my decision, put my money in the slot and then decided to have my lite yoghurt first. And just in the nick of time a friend offered me half of her sub sandwich thingy that she couldn't finish. At first I said no (don't like taking food from others) and she persuaded me to have it saying she was going to throw it away otherwise. So I reluctantly agreed. Lucky tho, because after that and the yoghurt I didn't need the chocolate anymore.

Now just have to get through the rest of the day ... ohh and tomorrow, oohh and the next day!! hahah!

Keep running ... you're nearly there!!

2008-02-20T12:57:00.005+13:00

The scales were very nice to me this morning and kept my lowest weight from yesterday at 102.8kgs! A victory of 1.1kg loss this week .... yeeeeehaww!!!

I started the Wendie Plan around 6wks ago now and it's certainly working for me, giving me some nice losses.

So I just now have to lose 200g this next week to make my mini challenge of 20kgs lost in one year.

Just don't blow it Lyn!!!

The weighting game ...

2008-02-19T21:06:00.003+13:00

Spent the day getting a warrant of fitness and service for my ambulance today. It took 11hrs!!! I ended up doing a milk run on the way back dropping off this and that, picking up this and that ... 7.30pm tonight I finally got home!!

Had a cool little moment at Ambulance Head Quarters ... the Paramedic that helped me on the spinal job I did last week walked in (without me noticing) and said in a loud voice to everyone "Ahhh, here's the best ambulance officer in Waihi Beach!!!" I smiled and chuckled quietly. Very 'feel cool moment'

Had an all time low weight on the scales this morning ... who knows what tomorrows weighin will bring. I've been OP all week but yesterday the scales were up 1.5kgs and today all time low. Hopefully they will stay low, but really don't know.

The Regional Support Officer came to the station the other day (my station managers boss) and said he'd heard about my job application and said I needed another patch on my arm before I could be considered for any job. He asked me if I was still enrolled to do 'nat cert' (next qualification) to which I replied yes. And he said "well wait until you've done that and then you can look at getting a paid position". At first I was pissed off but after thinking a bit about his response, took it as a compliment. Basically he said in short ... it's nothing against me 'when' I don't get the job, but it's purely that I don't have enough qualifications. I've since been told that St John has signed a contract with the DHB (district health board) that they will have an AO (ambulance officer qualification - 1 level above me) on every ambulance. Hence why they asked for that level in the job vacancy advert.

So at the end of the day I would love to prove him wrong and get the job, but won't take it personally if I don't get it. Simple case of wait and see what happens ... much like the scale results tomorrow ...

You'll be sadly missed - R.I.P

2008-02-16T09:43:00.004+13:00

When I got my ambulance uniform over a year ago I was ashamed to admit that the largest belt they had did not fit me and I had to go home and drill another hole in the leather to get it around my waist. I hated that belt because it reminded me everytime I wore it, that I was fat!!

As the months went by my hated belt began stretching. But no, infact it wasn't the belt, but my waist shrinking. The day I could move the buckle to a 'real' hole and not my homemade one was celebrated. Then gradually as I moved the buckle in one hole at a time, I actually started to grow an attachment to this piece of leather. Where once it reminded me of my fatness, now it was pointing out my slimness. I would have a quiet smile to myself everytime I visited the restroom and did up my belt ... yep I am getting slimmer!! One year later I was finally on the smallest hole. A full movement of the buckle of 16cm!!

Yesterday some new uniform stocks came in along with belts. And in a moment of sadness I surrendered in my weightloss belt for a new smaller one. Yet it was also a proud, happy, excited moment of knowing what goals I could achieve this year and a wonder of how many more holes I could move it in.

So now the next step has started. I am back out to the biggest hole on a much smaller belt.

RIP fat belt ... you will be sadly missed

Can ya see me? can ya? can ya??

2008-02-14T17:29:00.002+13:00

I THINK I HAVE IT WORKING!! Please tell me I have the animations working now??? please??

But be honest if they're not.

I worked out the problem is that for gifs to work in blogger they need to be uploaded to a webspace first and then uploaded to blogger. Wow talk about searching for a needle in a haystack trying to work out why it wouldn't work.

So can you see them? Can ya??

More exams and maybe an ambo job ...

2008-02-14T08:22:00.006+13:00

I have been sending my brain in knots (is that actually a saying?? lol think not) the past 24hrs trying to get these animations showing up for you all. I just simply could not understand it! It was showing up perfectly on my screen yet not on others screens. I tried 50 odd ways of uploading it with no solution.

In the end this morning I tried on my computer downstairs and it showed up fine, but on the computers in the shop (paid internet) it didn't show. So for some reason it shows on some people's screens and not on others ... so ....

I did a google search and think I have the answer ... it's dependant on your browser security settings on every individual computer. Hmm, not sure that I can fix that one! lol ...

So ... if you can see the animation can you let me know ... if you can't (and want to) change your internet browser setting to 'allow animations'. As to where that is on each of your browsers I'm not totally sure, somewhere around the 'tools/internet settings' type area.

Ok onto other news ...

I had my next set of exams last night. That last lot I did (around 4wks ago) was the theory part of a new set of analgesias (pain relief medications) and last night was the practical assessment which I always find a little daunting... but I passed so all good!

And the other news ...

I'm applying for a job in Tauranga. Not sure if I've mentioned this before on here but basically our shop building is being demolished and rebuilt starting Feb 2009 and taking anywhere up to a year to complete. We we get a new shop in the new building which will be much better than this one that leaks and is falling to bits. The landlord has talked about compensation but we have to be wise and think of other work as we have 6 mouths to feed and a mortgage to pay...

so ... hence why I'm starting to apply for jobs. I know it's very early but of course I want an ambo job and they are few and far between. And I've been told you need to have your name come up often for them to notice you.

Originally I considered Auckland but is a little too far to commute (ambo is 2 day shifts/2 night shifts/4 days off). But will do what I need to do to get that elusive job. Then this one has come up in Tauranga... but ...

They require someone at AO level (one level higher than me and once I finished my Nat Cert this year I will be at AO level). It's a bit cheeky applying at a lower level but got to give it a try.

Spent yesterday doing up my CV and cover letter. My station manager has happily said she'll be a referee for me so that's nice.

I always hate doing cover letters, making yourself out to be the amazing perfect person, but I've gotta do it if I'm to get this job ...

It's a huge long shot but we'll see! I'll keep ya posted!

A loss? Wooo Hoo!!

2008-02-13T08:51:00.006+13:00

Weigh in results ...

400g loss ... 103.9kg.

I'm very proud of this weighin given TOTM turned up this morning along with the bloating that comes with it. Now just 1.3kg to go till my 20kg lost mark and 2 weighins to do it ... 650 grams each week ... can I do it?? heheh I'll certainly try my darned best!!

Do ya love my cute puddy tat on this post? I shouted myself a pressie ... a year's subscription to an animation site so I can put cute animations on my posts again. I used to use smiley central (which was free but came with alot of spam) and when I switched over to Apple Mac I couldn't use it anymore. I missed not being able to use my smileys. I came across this one today and while it's a bugger it's not free I don't mind too much having to pay for it, means I won't get spam (I checked that I won't) and it's about the same price as a new top so I figure I don't buy myself much and this makes my website a bit of fun.

So watch out for the new animations ... can't wait to show you more!!

Sometimes we gotta just jump into the big black hole

2008-02-12T16:13:00.000+13:00

Thankyou for all the kind words of encouragement. I'm feeling so much better about the job. It's all about confidence which can only come with time and experience. I think it stems from the fact that I'm entering a new stage in my ambulance work where I've gone from being a newbie learning from others, to being a senior officer training others. On every single job I do I still learn and have got truckloads still to learn but there is a security in letting the buck stop with someone else and when something goes wrong being able to blame it on not knowing and the senior officer is in charge.

Now that I have my basics down to a refined art I can't blame it on anyone else. Now the buck stops with me. And that can be scary but not bad for me. It can only make me stronger.

I have weighin tomorrow. I'll be happy with a little loss. I've been a good girl all week and on points, but I can't be expecting 2kg losses every week like last week. Wait and see what happens. It will be sooo good getting over the 20kg loss mark. Feels like I've been saying for so long that I've lost just under 20kgs when people ask.

I've started getting quite a few comments on my weightloss lately which is nice. I don't tell people that I'm trying to lose weight but if they ask I'm not scared of saying what I'm doing. Oooooh! And I get to take another update photo for you guys when I reach my 20kg lost mark too. 1.7kgs to go ...

This one was hard to take ...

2008-02-11T07:25:00.001+13:00

They say kids effect you the most. That once you've done an ambulance job involving a child you'll never look at ambo work the same. And while I understood the theory in this I never truly realised the full effect ... I'm now starting to.

I've done plenty of pretty full on ambo jobs, some very intense. And none of them have really bothered me afterwards. I've never lost any sleep, even with the cardiac arrest situations.

This has all changed. My past two nights have been filled with vivid wild dreams replaying the job I did on Saturday... over and over and over again. Saturday night I only slept until 3am and could not get back to sleep. Infact I cried a few tears until the sun came up. It has really effected me this one and even as I type I can feel my eyes well up.

I wasn't going to post about it, but felt myself slip into "I don't care about what I eat" mode yesterday and so in therapy for myself I want to blog this. I need to get it out and talk about it.

I'm actually confused as to why it has my mind in a spin. There is quite possibly going to be a very positive outcome for the patient so I should be overjoyed. I did everything right, so I should be proud, for some reason I'm not ... but he was a young, fit 18yr old with a zest for life. He wasn't a drunk driver, he wasn't speeding, he wasn't been a hoon or getting into a fight ...

... he was competing in the National Surf Lifesaving Championships ... he saved lives like us. And seeing the look on the faces of the other Surf Lifesavers helping one of their own will stick with me. And their looks of plead of wanting to know 'what next', wanting someone to fix him, to take back time and make it all better...

... and I couldn't ... I couldn't make him better.

On Thursday my station manager had asked me if I could cover the National Surf Lifesaving Championships at the beach on Saturday but meant I would be single crewed for it. "Sure" I said. I didn't anticipate much more than a few bumps and bruises. And if I did happen to have anything more serious Waihi Ambulance was only minutes away.

I'd been given instructions to be at the event in time for the official races at 12pm, but was ready early so decided to head down at 11am because I knew the practice runs had been going since 8am and I wanted to get my area set up beforehand.

I hadn't even gotten out of the ambulance when someone came up to my window. "There's someone in the first aid room who's hurt themselves". As I walked with my gear to help him I glanced at the sea ... it was huge!!! Ten foot waves!! I hadn't long finished helping this gentleman and getting him sent off on an ambulance when another came in, and with him a friend who asked if I could tape up his wrist. An old injury but it was giving him a bit of grief trying to row his boat. We had a chat about his surf lifesaving, I taped up his wrist and wished him goodluck for his races as he smiled and waved thanks.

The next hour or so was quiet so I ate my lunch and watched a few races. Then my surf lifesaving radio went off "Lyn! Lyn! We have someone injured coming in on an IRB up the northend of the beach!"

"Ok, I'm on my way"

I headed down the beach with my gear. "Hi I'm Lyn. What's been happening?" I started my usual introduction. "I can't move my legs!!! I can't move anything!!!!" He was panicking! I started assessing his injuries and called on my portable radio for Paramedic Backup, Second Ambulance and Westpac Rescue Helicopter and Fire Brigade! I'd never requested a chopper before, didn't really know how I was supposed to do it but hey who cares I'm sure COMMS can understand english. I gave them a quick description of what I had and then continued treating the patient. It was fantastic that I had so many helpers around me. After the initial assessment and set of vitals I deligated a lot of it ... you, can you continue to take a pulse every couple of minutes and yell it out to me. You, continue holding his head/neck. Can I get a full set of collars brought from the first aid room, and take someone else with you, I need a scoop stretcher. Just then an off duty ambo came out of the crowd. "Thank God!" I told her. Can you grab me the scoop straps out of the ambulance. You, I'd like you to just keep talking to him and make sure he's alert, tell me at any stage if he become drowsy. You, can you take his resps for me every few minutes and yell them out to me... and so it went on. Everyone worked like a team and took their job seriously. We got him collared, scooped, wrapped in thermal blanket and transported into the back of a ute (for warmth and privacy, and eventually transport to the chopper) I had someone else cordon off part of the beach, get everyone out of the water there in preparation for the chopper.

An intensive care nurse came out of the crowd to ask if I needed help. I told her "Great! Thanks! This is what we have and this is what I've done, can you see anything I've missed?" She made the suggestion of getting the bagmask out in preparation of respiratory arrest (which we didn't need) and that was it. "Thankyou so much" I told her.

When the Paramedic and Second crew turned up (what seemed like an eternity later) the look on my face must have totally shown them how I felt. It was a look of "THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE!!" I gave my hand over to the Paramedic, he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye and said in a calm quiet voice "It's okay, you've done everything right". That was just what I needed to keep myself going. I helped the Paramedic getting fluids set up and started on the paperwork. I noticed the Paramedic cutting off some tape off his wrist and that's when I clicked ... it's the same guy!! My heart sank!

It was at that moment that I actually looked up and noticed the hundreds and hundreds of people all standing round us and tv cameras (was on TV1 news and apparently will be in Piha Rescue later). I chose to ignore that fact and kept going. Someone came up to me and said "we have another back injury coming in on that IRB and a lady with a fractured ankle in the first aid room". It was at that moment that I nearly lost it. "you have got to be kidding me!!!" Nup! Then I looked up and saw the guy step out of the IRB and start walking up the sand. What a site for a sore ambulance officers eyes!! Yes! He's walking! So I sent off the off duty officer to check them out while we continued with our patient.

We got him loaded onto the chopper along with his mum and off they went and we turned around and walked away. The walk back to the surfclub rooms was really, really weird, like something out of a movie. The Paramedic and I silently walking side by side almost as if in slow motion and the crowd parted ahead of us, with the chopper lifting behind us. There was complete silence from the crowd ... really weird.

I left that day on a complete high but sad not knowing what happened to him and knowing the potential risk he had of never walking again let alone being a lifeguard.

As I am typing this the Bay of Plenty Times has just arrived and it's on the front page! He's ok!! OHHH MY GOD HE'S OK!!! That is the best news!!! He's been released from hospital. He had a neck/upper back injury that caused the spinal cord to swell and be bruised, causing the paralysis and as the swelling went down so did his ability to move.

This is the article here ... for those who want to read it.

As I started typing this post this morning it was a sad one, so sad I had to stop and refinish it the afternoon ... and now look how it's turned hey? lol

Life! you just never know what's round the corner!

This could have been me ...

2008-02-08T06:43:00.000+13:00

20kgs lost in 52weeks makes an average of just under 400g a week. The weeks I've had a 400g loss sometimes I've been disappointed. Yet if I look at the wider picture ...

Having a small loss is only half of the celebration. Over 15mths I put on 50kgs!! That's an average of just under 800g gain each week ... every week for 64 weeks. Very possible to do if you don't care about your body.

So ... a 400g loss is not just a 400g loss but a potential saving of 1.2kg if I hadn't been watching what I ate!

I think sometimes we focus too little on the huge achievement of what NOT putting weight on is. That's a victory in itself and a very commendable one!! I hear people getting down on themselves because they have gone up and down over a year and maybe only lost a couple of kilos for that year ... but it's not just a couple of kilos that they lost ... it's a potential saving of putting on 40 odd kilos PLUS losing a few on top!!

And to think in the future ... if only we could do this (yet sometimes I think not). 20kgs gone this year (well I'm talking positive here that I'll make my mini goal in 3wks) then another 20kgs gone next year ... that will make me only 82.6kgs!! Ohh baby that figure looks fantastic!!

AND ... to think in a year if I hadn't restarted this journey I could quite possibly be (by going off the average weight I was putting on) by the end of next year ... scary figure ... 206kgs!!!! Hard to believe isn't it??? The picture above is a before photo of someone who was 206kgs.

OH MY GOD that is the biggest lightbulb moment I've had for a long time!!

Feels so good to be moving in the right direction no matter how slowly!!!

Focusing on the happy ...

2008-02-06T09:08:00.000+13:00

I should be over the moon. My scales showed a weight of 104.3kgs ... a 2.1kg loss. But am I being silly for not being happy with that? I'm not sure what else I could have achieved.

Why the disapointment? ... I have gotten into a huge yoyo thing going on. I lost 2kgs two weeks ago, then put on 2.2kgs last week, now lost 2.1kgs this week. See the pattern? Is it a pattern? or is it just one week that I stuffed and now have gotten back on track again.

I know I'm probably overthinking this one and at the end of the day have to look at the fact that I've done the best I can this week and over the last 3 weeks have lost 1.9kgs.

Infact in the bigger picture I am coming up to my one year anniversary of rejoining weightwatchers. And in that one year I have lost nearly 20kgs. Infact that is my goal to achieve ... to have lost 20kgs in one year. I have until the 23 February to lose another 1.7kgs. That's 17 days or 2.5 weeks. To make it easier I'll take it out to the weighin for that week ... Wednesday 27 February I want to have lost 20kgs... you think I can do it??? 600g a week ... yep I'll do ... just watch me!!!!

And I've started bidding on a new pandora charm on trademe in anticipation of the event! :)

Almost 4hrs late!

2008-02-03T09:28:00.000+13:00

The family and I went to a potluck bbq last night along with about 20 others. It started at 5pm so me and the kids went along first with Bill following after 7pm. I was still on duty till 7pm so had to go in uniform.

I'd only been there about 20mins when sure enough the pager went off. So I had to run out the door leaving my poor friend to babysit my kids till I got back or Bill arrived. I let them know I should be back in around an hour.

I got back from my job just after 7pm and was sitting in the ambulance filling about paperwork. Wrote the form out that says I'm taking the truck off the road and just about the make the phone call (now 7.20pm when my shift finished at 7pm) ... and couldn't believe it ... beep, beep, beep!! Bloody Sabastian (the COMMs operater for our area) had dropped another job on me! I was never gonna make it to the potluck dinner.

8.20pm I finished that job and the first thing to do when I got back in the ambulance ... ring that rascal Sabastian and tell him MY SHIFT IS OVER!! lol And what do I find?? No reception on my mobile ... unbelieveable! So no paperwork finishing off just yet, off I drove back home and as soon as I found mobile coverage I pulled the ambulance over on the side of the road to take me off. I told Sabastian he was cunning and dropped another job on me before I could take it off the road. He laughed an evil laugh in reply. Cheeky bugger!!

So I walked in the bbq at 8.45pm ... almost 4hrs late!! The good side was that by the time I got there people had stopped eating the nibbles (chips and dip, cheese and crackers) and made it easier for me to resist them. Not one eaten! Dinner I just had the salads, corn cob and grilled courgettes. No meat. A friend saw me writing something on my hand and I told her it was my points for dinner and one stroke for every bourben I have. She couldn't believe that even on a night out I still count points. Sure! I have a very bad habit of having a couple of drinks and forgetting what I eat or drink afterwards. This way I didn't forget.

And this morning on writing in my points on my tracker I was spot on ... with 0.5pt to spare even ... wahoo!!

Diggin the whole deeper!

2008-01-31T19:14:00.000+13:00

You guys are so cool! It's such a thrill to get home after a tiring day and be able to log on to see a whole lot of great advice. I never thought about the KFC being so high in salt but now that you mention it, yes it does taste that way.

The ambo issue is turning out to be an interesting one. It turns out that every officer I have spoken to has done the same thing and didn't realise it was a mistake ... so yes you were right Nona in suggesting that this may result in some retraining of us all. And it's turning out that so far (touch wood) it's becoming an issue that's far bigger than myself and we are not so much being taken to task for it but a lesson for our training system.

Lynise that's so bizare that Evianah has had similar issues. Fingers crossed for her that it doesn't come to that for her.

Ultimately yes today turned out much better. I got loads achieved and my food was spot on. I'm not sure what the weight is doing because I want to stay off the scales for a few more days yet till I notice that 'slim' feeling.

...

I had a 20ish lady come into the shop yesterday and I kept looking at her all the way down the aisle because I knew her from somewhere.

As she got the counter I asked her "Did you go to Hillcrest High?"
"No"
"Did you grow up in Hamilton?"
"No!"
"Oh ok. I know you from somewhere, do you recognise me?"
"NO" ...
As I continued to quizz her she cut me short and put me out of my misery ... "I used to be an actor on Shortland Street about 4yrs ago"
"Ohh my goodness wow!!!" Embarrased I turned bright red and muttered something about there being a number of celebrities coming into our shop. (why did I have to say THAT?? talk about making the hole deeper!!!)
"Do you get people recognising you often?"
"Yes I do actually" To which she cut the conversation short by wishing me a good day and walked out of the shop.

After she walked out Bill and I looked at eachother and burst into laughter!! I couldn't believe I did that!! What a dick I am!!!! LMAO!!! She was very nice about it ... poor girl!!

Yep today this face is bothered!!!

2008-01-30T18:08:00.000+13:00

For some stupid reason my weighin this morning gave me a horrible figure of 106.4kg!!! A 2.2kg gain for only 2 days bad eating in which yes I had KFC, a couple of extra drinks and minimal other bad eating.

Some of it may be fluid given that I'm drinking lots and not peeing much with the hot weather... who knows?? I certainly don't. I certainly didn't deserve that sort of result.

Then I found out this afternoon that a job I did on ambo is resulting in an official audit being done on me and my partner. I made a mistake that I didn't even realise I wasn't allowed to do and have found out many others have done, who also didn't know. The only thing I can say is now I know and any mistake I made was out of ignorance, not out of spite or misjudgement. Which is what I told my boss when she called me into her office to discuss it. I've said now I know and won't make that mistake again and at the end of the day at least the patient didn't suffer because of it.

Then I took Malachi to the dentist and got told that the accident he had with his teeth a few months back that had caps on have resulted in one of his front teeth dying and he needs a full root canal done. His tooth is already starting to turn black. It's going to take up to six months to do over 4-6 treatments because he is so young and his tooth is still growing. He won't be able to get a crown until he is 18-21yrs of age. I really feel for him having to grow up with a darkened front tooth. The dentist said he will bleach the tooth to try and whiten it but can't guarantee he can whiten it enough.

I also went to the doctor this afternoon to get a splinter looked at in my foot that has been there for the last 3mths and has become quite painful especially in my ambo boots. She scraped the heel with a scalpel to see if she could get it out and found out on closer look with her bionic glasses thingees that it's not a splinter but infact an ingrown wart!! In which there's not a lot she can do. She's given me the name of some acid stuff to put on it and I need to scrape it again every couple of days until hopefully it's all come to the surface and then (touch wood) will disapear... $60.00 bux later!!!

Grrrr!! Not been a good day!!! Bugger!!!

Does this face look bothered though?

2008-01-29T13:48:00.000+13:00

Had a bit of a blow out the last few days. Not sure what set it off but one of those 'I've started now and can't stop' moments.

That's ok, I'm back ontrack again now.

Had a great catchup with Mandy while she was over here on the weekend. Mandy and her family came over for coffee on Saturday and then last night I went over to their campground for dinner and a few drinks. Went over my points ... but do I look bovvered?? Huh? do I? do I? Does this face look bovverrd though?? ... lol ... um nup!!!

whoop woo whoop whoop woo!!!

2008-01-23T14:24:00.000+13:00

My good eating has finally shown up on the scales with a 2.0kg loss recorded on this mornings weighin! Yay! Under 2kgs to go to get to my 20kg loss mark and my next charm reward ... wahoo bring on next week!!!

Short and sweet update today ... just wanted give you my results.

Has the world gone mad?

2008-01-22T14:44:00.000+13:00

It's been awhile with out an update from me so even tho I haven't got much to say wanted to let you all know I'm still ontrack and hoping for a good loss at weighin tomorrow morning, now that the fluid from TOTM has disappeared.

I went and did an ambulance shift with my sister who's a Paramedic at her station in Ngaruawahia. We had a fantastic day together, including another cardiac arrest that we brought back, this time in the back of the ambulance on SH1 between Huntly and Ngaruawahia.

As I was about leave to come home I heard on the news that while I was away my town went crazy!!! with police chases and gunmen crazed P addicts being shot by police. Kinda killed my story on the cardiac resus! lol. I saw my local ambulance on the news with fellow officers there.

And on getting back I found out that another ambulance officer from our station got hit by a car at an accident. A truck had crashed infront of her so she stopped to help him get out and see if he was injured. As she was standing on the side of the road a car came along and hit the same slippery patch on the road as the truck had and went into a side skid off the road and into the ambo officer. She was rushed off to hospital herself with serious arm injuries. Ironically the truck driver was uninjured.

That was happening at the same time as the police chase/shootout in town! For those of you wanting to find out a little more about that you can here.

Hopefully I'll be back with some good weighin news tomorow.

Happy Birthday Malachi!

2008-01-17T20:00:00.000+13:00

It was Malachi's birthday today ... yep all our yearly events happen in about 6wks of the year! We had a mum and son day out together, just the two of us.

We took a drive down to Bayfair shopping mall in Mount Maunganui and checked out the gaming store where he got to choose his playstation games for his birthday present. Some 'buzz' games which we're gonna play together as a family tonight. We then shopped for some new clothes and shoes for him.

Met his grandma and grandad for lunch and then I checked out a jewellery shop for my pandora bracelet... yep I got it!! And three little charms, one for every 5kgs I lost so far!

Tonight we having Malachi's chosen dinner and then chocolate birthday cake (of course just a sliver for me)

Thankyou for your wonderful comments. I need to have my little tantrum every now and then. Very proud of myself for staying on track regardless of my mindset of the day.

Very nice day!!! And my boy is ten years old, wow time goes by fast!

So unfair!!!

2008-01-16T14:08:00.000+13:00

My initial step on the scales gave me ... wait for it ... a 200g GAIN!!! WTF???? How could that happen?? I've been so good this week. I had brief thoughts of jumping on them to teach it a lesson but chose to take my anger out on the padded seat of the weights bench next to the scales! My hand was grateful for it.

Ten minutes later and a visit to the ladies room and stepped on the scales again. 200g lighter giving me a 'stay the same' result ... still mad!! And for the next hour had a mental tantrum vowing to eat my way through the day. After all if I'm going to gain or stay the same I may as well enjoy it along the way!! How dare those scales be mean to me this week, I so didn't deserve that!!

An hour or so later I served a lady in the shop who used to come to my weight watchers meeting who has put on masses amounts of weight. Nothing against her because who am I to judge anyone for weight gain? I don't know what she's been through the last few years for that to happen. But what it did do was make me realise if I let this weeks result get to me that could be me!! I have no choice!! I HAVE to keep going regardless!!

So another day on track, even with my tantrum outburst!! Next week this fluid better be gone and teach those scales a lesson!!

Dinner for two ...

2008-01-15T19:39:00.000+13:00

Nona ... you asked how the hare is doing?? In his words he is 'shattered, knackered and not really focussed on weightloss at the moment'. We both at the stage now of dreading getting up to do it all over again each day. We work hard and feel proud of our achievements at the end of the day, but getting to be a bit like groundhog day. But summer is short and we have to make hay while the sun shines.

There's been a few special moments interjected to keep our spirits up. Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary. We were ushered outside to sit on the deck by our two oldest (12yrs and 9yrs) at 6pm and told not to come inside till allowed.

We were signalled to come back inside to a candlelit dinner in the lounge with spaghetti bolognaise and a glass of wine served. The first evening meal they have ever made for us and was all organised by them. They even went to the butchers to get the meat! It was so nice to have our kids old enough to do special things like that for us.

As we sat down to eat they took the two younger ones into the bedroom to eat their dinner (that they'd cooked) and give us some adult time with no kids. They then put themselves to bed at 8pm and we sat and chatted, sipping on our drinks.

Delightful evening!! Special kids that I have!

I also got my birthday present from Bill yesterday, a couple days late but that's ok. A voucher for 3mths personal trainer sessions. I've never had a personal trainer before and feel quite nervous about it. This guy looks over your whole diet and exercise so hopefully he's ww friendly! lol. This time round I haven't done a lot of exercise but I'm sure that's the next step to take and this will be a good incentive to get me kickstarted. I'm excited and nervous all in one. Great idea of Bill's, one that I'd never have thought of myself! Impressive!

Weighin tomorrow and really don't know how it will go. I've been on points for the week but TOTM arrived a few days ago so the old bloated feeling is hanging around, as usual. I'll see tomorrow I guess!

When's weighin? all very confusing ...

2008-01-12T12:54:00.000+13:00

Thankyou for all your birthday wishes!! Very cool!! I love all the friendships I've made on here through blogging!!

I made the decision last Wednesday when I had my 'get back ontrack NOW!!' moment to change my weighin day to Wednesday. I found Saturdays not very motivating for me for weighins because there's not many round in blogland to either celebrate or commiserate with me.

I've been back OP for 3 days and showed up a small loss this morning but I'm not going to record it because my official one will be Wednesday. All confused yet??

Hmm ... not much else to report ... I'm tired!!! But that's ok, we're all doin good!!

It's my day to do what I wanna ...

2008-01-10T07:47:00.000+13:00

Back in blogland again. Things were definately hectic with the busiest summer we have had yet (in 4yrs). And our wages bill was half what it was other years so definately a good profit made. Now just have to spin it out over the winter time, that's the tricky part.

My waistline took an expansion as expected with a 1.6kg gain over the two weeks. But hey that's ok, I've dealt with it well and back on track again, so it will be off in no time.

The other little bit of news ... It's my birthday today!! yay me!!

Bill asked me a few days ago what I wanted to do for my special day

Dinner out? No too expensive if we take the kids and too hard to get a babysitter and besides I'm on ambo duty tonight so don't fancy sitting in a candlelit environment in my uniform and the pager going off and having to leave Bill with two half eaten meals.

Dinner at home with a bottle of wine? No, like I said I'm on duty (yep I didn't plan that one too well did I?)

Appointment to a hairdresser? No not really my way of spending a special day, sitting looking at a mirror with ugly flaps of silver foil.

Shopping trip to Tauranga? Nah. Dress shopping doesn't do it for me yet, not till I've lost a few more kgs.

Trip to a day spa?? Heck no! Having some skinny dropdead gorgous lady analyse my rolls?? Don't think so!!

So Bill was at a loss as to what to do ... I said in a small wee voice ... "There is something ..." Yeah? What? ...

A day on ambulance duty ... What??!!!? lol Yep! But a duty where I'm third man, goafer, no decisions to make ... just enjoy the day for what it is without the stress of having to train someone new ... so that's what I'm doing ...

I've put myself on with two competent officers as an observer ... hahaha!! And I put my shift as starting at 8am (not 6am like normal) and finishing at 3pm (not 6pm). Ok so you can officially say I'm addicted, if that's my choice for a birthday treat!! And treat it will be!!

The day has started off lovely already with my two eldest making me banana on fruit bread for breakfast ... they wanted to make me a full course cooked breakie but given my points limit we compromised with fruit bread. Awww ... the sweeties!!

So I'm going to make a fun day of it!! After all it's only once a year I get my own way and do what I want to do!

Please don't get out the sticks ...

2008-01-04T06:55:00.000+13:00

A quick post to let you know I'm still alive and kicking. Things are absolutely diabolical in the shop and on ambo! We had over 8,000 people through our shop on New Years Eve and similar numbers each day since!! We are literally running all day non stop till we shut the doors at 8pm, have dinner and flop into bed.

And don't think that because I'm doing lots of walking I'm losing weight ... I just don't have the time to prepare healthy meals so we're having alot of instant stuff and takeaways. It's like this each summer for me, I just go into survival mode. When things settle down again I'll get back to tracking and losing weight again. I'm not losing the plot, just have priorities set at a different focus for the next couple of weeks.

Last summer I beat myself up about not being able to lose weight at this crazy time of year but I'm starting to see the patterns now so have made a pact with myself not to get my knickers in a twist and just accept it, knowing when the people go home I have no excuse but to get straight back on track!

A life was saved ...

2007-12-29T21:48:00.000+13:00

I don't like to make a practice of talking about my ambo jobs on here because of privacy issues. But this one is very special to me and I won't be mentioning any names or private details to identify the person.

I woke up this morning and decided to do a full simulated check on our defibrillator (shock machine) and put fresh batteries in it. It hadn't been used all week so theoretically could have got away without doing it ... but that gut feeling told me to do it anyway.

Just before midday the pager went off and I saw it was chest pain. Normally this would make my heart race, knowing the potential danger... but today it didn't. I remained calm and quickly headed out the door towards the ambulance, picked up my partner on the way and got there in no time flat.

Walking in I got a brief history of what lead up to him calling an ambulance and on taking the vitals he seemed fine. But ... his description of chest pain he felt left me with an uneasy feeling. On giving an update to COMMS I listened to my gutt feeling and called for an Advanced Paramedic. As we gave him oxygen his pain level disappeared and as the second ambulance turned up I started to think I was being extreme on calling for backup.

The paramedic arrived and I did a handover to him. Then the patient felt like being sick so I reached for an emesis bag and as I did so I heard the paramedic say "He's arresting" ... For the last year I have been doing test after test, study after study on how to deal with this situation... and here I was dealing with it in person ... here... now!! ... No time to panic or fumble!! I had to get it right!!! The next few moments were a blur ... I reached for the bagmask, someone asked for scissors which I grabbed from my pouch ... someone was doing compressions, another pulling out defib pads and putting them on the patient. I was asked for an OP airway (piece of equipment I'm not going to go into here) which I tried to put in but couldn't because of body functions, so was asked for naseopharangeal airway... grabbing for what I thought was it, hoping like heck it was it... yep I got it right... handed it over ... then I heard "he's coming back! Yep we have a pulse!!!" The next few minutes were relief and panic and ... oh my friggen goodness ... I can't believe all that happened!!

My absolutely feel good moment was when the wife said from the front passenger seat "he's talking!!!" And the look she gave me of complete relief ... that was it, that was the moment that made that last year of hard study worth it all!!! No more gratification was needed, that one look did it for me!!!

I then had to drive the Paramedic's car behind the ambulance to the hospital 40minutes away with flashing lights and a few hairy moments with cars both sides of the road and us going down the middle.

He made it to the hospital ... oh my God I saved someone's life today ... like REALLY saved them ... if I hadn't listened to my gutt feeling of calling for backup one person might not be here tonight!!!

Yep still here!

2007-12-28T06:38:00.000+13:00

Just a quick update to let you all know I'm alive and well. We had a great Christmas with Mum and Dad, my younger brother, his fiancee and us. Ate way too much. Thought I was doing fine after lunch with my intake but then a new meal was served up for dinner and skipped on dessert. Was all very point friendly but just ate way too much of it. Went to bed feeling really uncomfortable. Tried to blame it on the grapes I ate in the afternoon making me gassy ... but no I think I just ate too much!

The last few days have been crazy!!! The crowds arrived yesterday and we've been run off our feet. And ambulance shifts have been crazy too. Not sure how much longer I can keep up the pace but taking it one day at a time. Bill must be getting tired too cause he's cranky!!!

But I'm not complaining, at least the money is coming in the till to get us through winter and I'm getting some good hands on experience with my ambo work.

Lee-anne tooted as she drove past the shop the other day. I didn't get who it was till after she'd passed ... so if you're reading this Lee-anne ... HI!!!! And hope to catch up for a coffee while you're still here.

Hope everyone else had a good Christmas! Not weighing in this week ... my one week off weighin for the year. Food hasn't been pointed out but watching what I eat and certainly getting lots of exercise running behind that counter!!

I'll catch you all in the New Year if I don't get a chance to update again before then!!!

Dis Santa's doin da boogie!!

2007-12-22T09:43:00.000+13:00

Shhh!! I'm whispering this so Bill doesn't hear ... but ... guess what????

I AM LIGHTER THAN BILL!!! I AM OFFICIALLY IN THE LEAD!!! Whoop whoop!!! What a wonderful christmas present to myself!! Ohhhhhh yeeeaah!!!!! 1.3kgs I lost this week!!

I thought when I had a stay the same last week that hopefully the fluid would be gone this week, giving me a double whammy loss today!!

Unfortunately (and I'll say this real quick) Bill had a little itty bitty gain. And while I feel empathy for him, he's been cheating so nahhh I don't feel sorry for him. heheh!

And it's been a verryy loooooooong time since I've been lighter than him.

This brings my total to 18kgs lost and now have under 40kg to lose... woah still a long way to go but feeling good and confident I can make it.

Let's just hope I don't stuff it up over Christmas!! If I don't get a chance to say it ... hope you all have a fantastic Christmas!! Relax and don't stress!!!

We're nearly there

2007-12-21T06:54:00.000+13:00

I have another ambulance exam to do today ... but not a stressful one. Basically we do it online and we can do it over and over until we pass, to pass we need over 80%. We can take as long as we need to do it, so I'll be working on that. I want to get it out of the way before Christmas ... and ... the rush!!!

The countdown is nearly over ... not Christmas ... but till Boxing Day when 30,000 people drive over that hill towards us!! Most of me is looking forward to it. We are running all day, sweating our butts off!! And each night we collapse into bed. This happens for 3 weeks and at the point you almost think you're not going to be able to get up and do it all over again ... they all go home!! 80% of our yearly turnover is done in the next 6wks so it's our time to kick arse.

And for the weeks leading up to it money is so tight, trying to buy in summer stock without the turnover being there yet. $8,000 worth of coke! $18,000 worth of cigarettes! $2,000 worth of 5c lollies!! and the list goes on!! We are banking daily, writing out cheques we hope we do the turnover for that day to cover!! It's nail biting stuff!! But of course once the clock passes midnight on Christmas night ... we're on baby!!! party, party, party!!!

One small note ... weigh in tomorrow ... I think it might be a good one, on what the scales said this morning ... heheh! Let's hope!

Yes I do talk to myself ...

2007-12-19T11:23:00.000+13:00

I've spent the last few days sick with aches and fever. Glad to finally be on the mend again. My cat also had a fever with an absess and had to have it lanced by the vet. We're both feeling alot better today.

I don't make a very good patient. I started coming right yesterday afternoon but still just wanted comfort food. I made the decision in my head to have a large bag of potato chips. I chose the one I wanted and took them upstairs ... Bluebird Salt and Vinegar ... just about to open them ... mind games going on in my head. I deserved them with the stress and sickness I've had to endure ... yeah but who are you punishing? yourself? ... but they'll taste so good ... but you'll feel so sick afterwards ... I don't care about that ... I just want to feel good now! ... comon! You know you shouldn't!! Think of how you'll feel on weighin day if you don't have them!! ...

So I put them down ... and marched straight into the kitchen and cooked up some popcorn. Really didn't taste quite the same but I felt so proud of myself. And this morning I had an all time low on the scales. I have a feeling it won't last this low till weighin but still nice all the same.

That's ok ... better than a gain

2007-12-15T15:47:00.000+13:00

Weighed in the same this week at 105.9kg. Happy with this given it's my TTOM week this week. Hopefully that means a good loss next week because Bill is gaining ground on me with a 1.2kg loss this week.

Off to a surprise birthday dinner for a friend tonight. Since I haven't seen the menu not sure how good I'll go on points but will try and make good choices... promise!!

Gotta get this house sorted before the babysitter arrives. Better get cracking!!

Tis the season

2007-12-12T12:01:00.000+13:00

Isn't it amazing how the stress factor at Christmas time flows onto everyone. The restaurant across the road had a new menu starting and being their produce supplier we needed to get lemongrass ordered. We tried to get it three days in a row on our produce order from the wholesaler and everyday even the wholesaler couldn't get it.

We rang round all the supermarkets in the area, the produce shops, growers, nurseries ... even hardware stores. We just could not locate any!!

On telling the chef from the restaurant the bad news, she threw her arms up in the air and walked out before we could even tell her how hard we tried to get it. But I guess she really didn't care about that. All she was probably thinking of was the stressed out guests throwing their arms up in her face because something on the menu wasn't available.

This consequently put Bill in a stressed out mood and of course he threw his arms up in the air at the poor rep who informed us that there would be no deliveries of his product of the Christmas/New Year period. He probably carried on the tradition to the next person that stressed him out.

It's amazing how we react to someone can totally change their day both good and bad.

This reminded me of a personality quiz we did at ambo training one night a few weeks back. Everyone is basically divided into four personality groups ... melancholy (green), phlegmatic (blue), sanguine (yellow) and choloric (red). I find this subject fascinating!!

I found a quiz on the internet to find out what you are. I came back as a laid back phlegmatic while Bill is a raging red choloric. They say that generally speaking people are attracted to the opposite side of the spectrum. Cholorics and phlegmatics are opposites as are Sanguines and melancholies.

You can take the test here to see what you are.

Put your foot down... how fast can you go??!!

2007-12-10T15:33:00.001+13:00

Thanks for all your wonderful compliments!!

Bill reckons his gain this week was due to constipation!! And now (apparently) his bowels have started working again. So he reckons he'll be in for a good loss next week and leave me for dust! Bring it on I say!!

The challenge is going to be tight this next week. I have TTOM arriving soon and I always struggle with food choices the week before. I seem to be forever hungry and craving sugary bad food. I have a plan set in place with lots of easy meals organised that I don't have to think about.

Oooooh!! And I forgot to tell ya about my ambo shift on the weekend. I did my first P1 drive (lights and sirens) with a patient in the back. Normally we only have lights going on the way to a job and not after picking the patient up... unless the patient is REALLY sick. This P1 drive was from Waihi to Waikato Hospital (1.5hrs away) travelling at around 130kms!!! Trying to keep it smooth and steady because we had up to 4 people in the back working on the patient. Very tricky thing to do, drive fast but not swing everyone around the corners. Got a compliment back from the Hamilton Advanced Paramedic that I did really good on my driving. At a couple of bends I threw some people off balance so to hear back that it was a difficult drive coped with very well was great.

It's also the first time I've seen a true 'resus' team set up at the hospital. We were ushered through some double doors and greeted by 8-10 people gloved up and ready to go. Watching them work in such a synchronised way was mind blowing. Each person had their job and even though they were working in such a confined space no one got in anyone's way. Absolutely awesome to watch!

Ambulance work is starting to wind up at the moment with more jobs and jobs more serious. It's amazing the effect Christmas has on society. There is more stress, meaning more sickness, more tension, meaning people are making silly mistakes. Less money, meaning people are not going to the doctors for minor things and waiting till they turn major. And generally more people around this area with some towns growing ten times their winter population.

Wonder what next is round the corner?

Best policy??

2007-12-08T13:36:00.000+13:00

Weigh in day again ... this week I'm 105.9kg ... a 900g loss. I am over the moon with this result ... mainly for the fact that I've managed 5 weeks of losses in a row!! I'm really enjoying my relaxedness about it that I have at the moment. I'm able to just quietly track my food and live my busy and sometimes stressful schedule ... and still stick to plan.

Sometimes I have the tendency to get over passionate about weightloss and while there's nothing wrong with that short term, for me I find I burn out. I can't keep up that energy imput focussed weightloss without something else being effected and/or giving up.

For the last few weeks I've been able to just plod away at my tracking, having the blowouts, feeling bad about them but getting right back on track the next day.

It feels good, it feels comfortable. But as we all know comfortable CAN be a dangerous place to be with mediocrity soon taking it's place. And before I know it I've fallen off the bandwagon.

So how do I find the sensible ground in this? I guess by being stern on myself in regards to tracking and accountability, with honesty being the central point. Other things can and will go wrong some time but as long as I'm honest with myself and those around me ... THAT is what will get me to goal!!

It's gone up another level ...

2007-12-06T07:54:00.000+13:00

The friendly challenge has now morphed itself into a full on watch your back all out war!!! The gap is getting closer and I'm about to pass the hare. But the hare is sneaky, he's trying all sorts of tricks but the smart tortoise won't fall for his sneaky traps.

He made me a wonderful breakfast in bed this morning. I had to interigate him before taking my first mouthful to check no fat had been injected into it! After finally assessing the scene was safe I thanked him and got stuck into my vegetable omelette. And it was devine! On complaining how full I was and leaving a third of it on my plate a sly smirk came over his face ... "heheh" he chuckled "I gave you a full plate full while I only had a bit ... think of all those calories you've just eaten!" oooooooohh, the slimebag!! "I'll get him back!"

As I was putting stock he bought on the shelves I noticed a jar of manuka honey. What's this for? "A new diet plan I have worked out ... manuka honey and meat" That's it??? You won't be able to eat just that!!! He assured me he'd be able to survive a week with just manuka honey and meat.

But hahaha!! As I got home this afternoon Lauren informed me he had a pie for lunch!!! LOL He didn't even survive one day!!!

I don't know how he's doing it ... but he is actually losing weight... damn it!! lol But slowly bit by bit I'm catching him up.

That pandora bracelet has to be mine!!!!

Awww thankyou

2007-12-03T15:30:00.000+13:00

Not a lot has happened over the weekend ..ooooh ... other than having two compliments given to me in two different parts of my world.

The first came from another retail owner in the street. She asked me if I'd lost more weight because it's really showing. Infact the other compliment that came today from another ambulance officer said the same thing.

I said "Yes I have actually, thankyou for noticing". It's always hard to know how to respond to compliments like that, but I think I handled it well.

I remember someone telling me the first time round that people don't start commenting until you've lost around 15% of your start weight. It's very true. 15% for me is 18.4kgs lost ... so a little earlier than usual, but hey I'm not complaining!! Always makes one feel more motivated when others give positive feedback.

We can do this!!

2007-12-01T08:11:00.000+13:00

After I did my little skite about how I was able to not succumb to stress eating ... I did!! The very next night it all got a bit much and I ordered chinese chicken and cashew, spring roll and pineapple fritter! The next day I felt like such a failure and told my mate Mandy. She gently but sternly kicked my arse and told me to get back ontrack ... NOW!!

And it worked! I owe my loss this week to Mandy.

I guestimated 30pts for the day and saved a few points each day for the rest of the week. Slowly bit by bit my gain on the scales came down and down. And by yesterday I was showing a very small gain, so hoped like heck it would be at least a 'stay the same' ...

As I said yesterday I felt slimmer but who knew what today would bring ... and this morning ... 106.8kgs ... a 400g loss!!! yayy!!

Kate you were exactly right! Overnight it dropped by 600g ... phew!! Bill had a 600g loss, go Bill!! It's going to be a close race I think!

So this being my 1st of the month weighin shows a 4.1kg loss for the month ... The scales behaved well!!

Side splitting news ...

2007-11-30T06:43:00.000+13:00

Thankyou so much Linda for this award! It really made me think back to when I first started blogging in 2003! Linda was one of my blogging buddies back then. There's only a small handful of us still blogging that started back then. So much has happened to all of us yet blogging has been one thing that has remained. Even with breaks inbetween I have always gone back to it, because it's like therapy for me. Yep, you're all my psychologists!! lol

I'm passing this onto two more buddies ...

Mandy - When I first met you in real life there was something that clicked! You're one AMAZING chick!! You're someone I can hang out with and never feel like I have to be anyone else but myself!!! THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THAT!! You've been there for me through thick and thin ... hehe, just realised the pun!

Janene - I came across you're blog quite a few years ago and something said to me "this girl has that 'X factor'. I've seen you struggle and then soar!! I'm so excited to be one of the privileged to witness you emerging into one beautiful lady!!!

There are so many other blogs that I love to read and that get me through when I'm lacking in motivation. It could be hard to finish this post if I listed everyone one of you who inspire me. So give yourselves all a big hug and tell yourself 'Thankyou!!' from me!!

Another bit of exciting news ... I've achieved another one of my little goals on the side bar. When I first wrote that list back at 122.6kgs it felt like each one of those things were in the far distant future! To far to even picture myself achieving them. And yet bit by bit without me even realising I am getting through them. The latest goal to achieve?? ...

Yesterday I had to come and get another small ambo uniform! Yay!!

I'd actually been putting it off and putting it off. My station manager had mentioned to me a little while back that my pants were looking horribly baggy with the crutch hanging down to my thighs. I think I actually got used to them being so baggy because after a while I really didn't notice it. I started to think maybe I was putting on weight because I didn't see the need for new ones anymore.

I sat down to tie up my shoe laces on my new boots (another story I'll tell ya in a minute) and RRRRRIIPPPPP!!! Right up the inside thigh! I was soooo lucky they hadn't ripped half an hour before when I was infront of the ambulance training doing a scenario in splinting!! Phew!!

So my old baggy ambo pants have been chucked! RIP baggy pants!

As I put my new sparkly ones on Bill said to me "wow those pants look great on you!! You look so slim!" And suddenly it made me realise how yucky and baggy my old pants were.

The funny thing with this was (and here's the boot story) ... my boots had given up the ghost 3 or 4 weeks back. They had ripped right down the inside seem and the heel was half hanging off. I'd ordered a flash new pair of converse paramedic boots from Aussie but they still hadn't arrived. I was hoping they'd arrive soon before my old one's truly gave out. And just in time the parcel arrived on Wednesday night. So after training I hurried home to try on my new flash boots!! Finally I would have a full good looking uniform, without scuffy horrible boots. I sat down to do up the laces and yep ... Rrrip!! went my pants!!!

So now FINALLY I have new pants AND new boots ... I feel like a little girl with a new Sunday outfit!!! Whoop wooo whoop whoop woooooo!!!

Check out these new boots!!! here

As for weighin tomorrow ... The scales have been up slightly all week but I feel slim so who knows???

Not going down without a fight!!!

2007-11-26T19:03:00.000+13:00

A Farmers Market ... what is it??

"Food market where local growers, farmers and artisan food producers sell their wares directly to consumers" ... sound's good? Sure!! If you're a consumer! But what about if you're a produce supplier only 100m down the road!!

That's what someone had decided they were doing here in Waihi Beach. A big part of our turnover is our well priced produce. As you can tell we were not happy when the organiser asked us to put a poster up in the window advertising the regular event in a couple of weeks. We asked if we were allowed a stall and was given a definate "No!".

My normal instinct no matter how upset I am about a situation is to just let it go. But Bill wasn't having a bar of it. Initially I tried to calm him down and just let be what will be. But soon realised he wasn't going to let it slide. If I couldn't beat him I had to join him.

Bill rang the council to get an investigation into our rights. We were told they would look into the matter. According to the man we spoke to he was under the impression that each stall holder needed to hold a hawkers license.

In the meantime we spoke to some of the other retailers who agreed with us in our concerns. It just seemed so unfair that we as retailers had withstood the hard toil of winter drought and when the people arrived someone decided they'd set up a market and take the harvest. We had to pay so many overheads just to survive ... lease, rates, power, wages... the list goes on. Along with the retailers was the owner of the Four Square supermarket across the road. Up until now we had a purely professional relationship with the Four Square, nothing more. But on realising they were feeling the same about the situation we set up a meeting with them. They contacted the Foodstuffs representative after Bill told him of the Otara New World going bust when the Otara Farmers Market started up.

On top of this ... they were going to ask for funding from the Community Board!! A community board that is funded by our rates!!! This added insult to injury!! They were planning to doing a presentation to the Board at 6.30pm tonight. Bill had planned a big speal to say along with alot of other retailers, who had signed a petition we set up.

At 3pm this afternoon Bill rang the council to find out their progress in the matter. According to the investigator at the council they had every right to have the market given that it's a commercial zone, but that the organisers were in the process of cancelling the event due to opposition.

So it's finally over ... it's not going ahead. I understand their thinking about having a market but I don't think they thought through the full extent that this could have on the town. While it may have brought people in, the majority of the money would be going elsewhere and it had the huge potential of shutting down retailers like ourselves and others in the town which has to be a bad thing. The less shops, the less products offered for sale, the less money going back into the community.

And the good thing with this???? (other than the fact that we don't have a big confrontation on our hands?) I didn't comfort eat!!! I stuck to points infact saving some points in the process.

The sun was shining hot today ...

2007-11-25T19:53:00.000+13:00

I made the yummiest dinner last night. Not sure what to call it. I got the idea from the ww website about hammering chicken breasts flat and rolling them with with filling inside. I chose to put cherry tomatoes (halved), crushed garlic, chopped fresh fennel, red onion and a little corn kernals. After rolling them and tying with string I sprayed them with cooking spray. They pointed out at only 3pts per piece ... yummo!!

Wow it was hot today!! Our staff member had to go home around lunch with nausea. I didn't mind because she doesn't take much time off so when she has to go home she must be really sick! That left Bill, myself and Lauren rolling icecreams (over 200!), thickshakes and countless drinks, produce and groceries. We were running all day!! I'm knackered!!

I'm in for a relaxing night of mindless tv, that is until the pager goes off, yep on duty again. Can't help myself! :)

Bill's nana nap

2007-11-24T11:43:00.000+13:00

Weighin results ...

Weight last week: 107.7kg
Weight this morning: 107.2kg

So that's a 500g loss. Feeling a bit guilty about it because I was moaning all week about my weight being up on the scales and then last night I blow it and have pizza and drinks with another couple. And now record a loss.

Bill had his weighin too and ...ehem ... recorded a 500g gain... hey probably where my 500g went too! lol. So that leaves me with just 1.2kg to catch him up ... hehehe. Although I've been a bit kinda on him this morning because we all know how bummed we feel when we've gained. His normal cooked breakfast was replaced by a banana and natural unsweetened yoghurt! :)

Sorry I haven't posted todays post sooner ... I actually started this update 10am this morning, about 6hrs ago. Nona you asked how I could keep going doing everything, I'm not a superwoman but what I do do ... is absolutely crash when I stop. I have just slept for the last 3hrs!!! I was trying so hard to watch some movies on sky but couldn't keep my eyes open. Each time I woke up the credits were rolling. I did that through three movies!!!

Thankyou for all your hopes of a quiet day for me yesterday ... it seemed to work! We had just one job and was a lovely sweet gentleman who was not critically ill. And at the end of it I felt great!!! My confidence is back!!

Hey cool, I just remembered ... I'm half a kilo lighter! :)

What will today bring??

2007-11-23T06:31:00.000+13:00

Had a really stressful day yesterday. I had an interview to do for a new ambulance volunteer in the morning till 11am, then a meeting with the station manager, myself and another lady to go over my new role as Team Leader for First Response at Waihi Beach till 2pm then raced home and worked in the shop from 2pm till 4pm. Then an internet meeting with my brother in China via msn from 4pm till 5pm. And that's when the dog doodles hit the fan, when my brother informed me he wanted a 15pg full colour catalogue designed for him by next week!!! That information in itself would have been ok but combining it with all the other bits of stress from the day I went into "I can't deal with this!!" mode.

The good thing was I didn't blow out with food and still managed to stay ontrack with points. I think the other thing that was playing on my brain was my ambulance shift today. This day last week I'd had an extremely full on shift with 4 out of 5 jobs being potentially life threatening. At the time I thought I coped with it well and didn't have too much after effect on my emotions, or so I thought. But last night I just kept thinking "I can't deal with another day like last Friday". It showed me that even tho I thought I was okay about it all I did really effect me.

It will help if today is a nice quiet shift with a couple of nice easy 'safe' jobs to get my confidence back.

Was bummed out to see my weight up on the scales this morning (official weighin tomorrow). I've been such a good girl all week, sticking to my points. But I do know I started a bit of exercise and that ALWAYS slows things down for me. My conscience is clear, I know I've done it all right so if the scales decide differently that's the scales fault ... not mine!!

Let's see what tomorrow brings!

He'll keep!!

2007-11-21T07:47:00.000+13:00

True to the story ... Bill came down to the shop soon after I'd opened to ... umm ... skite!! Yep that's the exact words he used "I've come to skite! I'm only 102kgs this morning"

Damn it!! How can that happen?? The night before last he was scoffing crofters cheesecakes (16.5pts) and a colosal cone (6pts) just before bed. And as I walked in yesterday lunchtime he was trying to shove the remains of a pie in his mouth without me seeing.

Last night when it came for going for a walk, Malachi (9) and I went on our own, while Bill remained at home watching tv. But in saying that, I'm glad I went for the walk. As we got down to the beach we noticed some kite surfers on the beach and it reminded me of the commitment I made to myself back in February. When I get to goal I want to do that. Both Mal and I stared in awe for ages at them going back and forth, in and out of the surf, jumps, flips and bombing out, popping back up and carrying on.

Here's a clip I found on YouTube to show what I mean.

Apparently it takes alot of upper body strength, something I can strive for once I get nearer goal. Although lucky for us here we're not in a flight path with Jumbo Jets!! lol

We got home around 7pm and I cooked up my healthy meal while Bill and the kids had their Tuesday night takeaways. I went to bed with a clear conscience knowing I'd done everything right today and one step closer to my $200 reward. Oooohh! Talking about that I did a bit of googling to research the Pandora Bracelet and Italian Charm Bracelet.

I really like the thought of having something I can continue to ad to as I achieve each 5kg lost.

I'm still keeping focused on that bracelet because IT WILL BE MINE! I know Bill has by some miracle managed to achieve a 3kg loss in 2 days (however official weighday is not till Saturday) and I have heard nothing but "I'm winning, I feel so LIGHT!!" from him ... but he won't hold out ... I'm sure pretty soon he'll be needing a nana nap!

Slow and steady ...

2007-11-19T20:46:00.000+13:00

It's official!! Bill and I are having a race to lose weight!

For the last 18mths I've been heavier than Bill ... alot heavier ... 20kgs heavier. And slowly bit by bit I've been catching him up (or down should I say). I am now only a couple kilos heavier than him. Me at 107.7kgs and Bill at 105.6kgs.

So the race is on ... first to 90kgs wins!!

Even tho I'm 2kgs behind him I know I can do this! Bill is a classic hare ... starting with a bang and he'll lose it fast, 2-3kgs a week. That is, while it lasts! He won't hold out tho, he doesn't have the stick ability like I do. He'll flake out half way there and lie down for a nana nap! I know it! hehe!!

While I, the tortoise on the other hand, will plod away slowly bit by bit and pass him 5mtrs before the finishline! Watch me baby, I'll win ... no worries!!

He wanted to give me a helping hand by making it a percentage thing like on biggest loser ... but no way ... I don't need no helping hand. That's just to make his ego feel better when he doesn't win! lol

I was all inspired to go for a walk tonight after reading Chris and Janene's blog. But dinnertime came round too quickly and I just ran out of time. But after dinner I made the suggestion to Bill that we go out as a family for a walk and he jumped at the idea so off we went to walk around the Martha Mine and Pumphouse in Waihi.

We got there at 7.20pm and as we came to the entry gates by our car at 7.45pm the gates were locked!! So we had to walk back to the other entrance. We walked quick smart hoping that gate wasn't locked too or we might be spending the night sleeping under a tree. As we got there the guy was just about to put the lock on the gate... phew! Lucky! It turned our 20 minute walk into a 45 minute one, so that's gotta be good. And my ankle held out good, well onto being fully mended.

So the next thing to do ... choose my prize. My reward for winning our race to 90kgs. We've made the prize something worth $200. It's not allowed to just be money, so I have to think of something cool worth that much ... Any ideas?? I need to seriously think about this, after all, the prize will be MINE!! :)

This woman can fish

2007-11-18T19:23:00.000+13:00

We all went out as a family today for a stint of fishing off the rocks. It was my first expedition on rough terrain since my surgery. And I'm pleased to say my ankle did really well. Can't say much for the fish tho! We lost about $14 in snagged hooks, broken lines and lost bait with not one fish caught. After an hour we gave up and Bill raced home and got the kayak and we spent the time kayaking in the bay and playing cricket on the beach.

Came home looking a little like Santa with rosy cheeks. It was good to get out on a Sunday. Normally I sit at home and get housework done and watch a bit of telly. Problem with that is I get bored and eat too much. I still ate quite a bit today but went for cherry tomatoes and strawberries which kept my points down.

I have a couple of points left now that I've finished dinner so might end the night with some more strawberries and ww icecream.

Asleep on my feet

2007-11-17T11:47:00.000+13:00

Weighin results this week ... 107.7kgs

1.7kg loss!

I would be jumping for joy right now but to be honest I'm finding it hard to even open my eyes. I am actually ecstatic about the weighin result. My tracking and last minute wise choices have paid off. Nice to have the scales show the effort put in.

Now why am I so tired? I have just finished a kick up the arse initiation back into ambo!! A 24hr shift with 6 jobs!! Normal for the whole station is around 3-4 jobs in 24hrs and we had 6 and I was on every one of them. And the thing that made it a brain strain was that I was senior officer with all of them so all the decisions I had to make fell back on my shoulders. Of course I always have someone I can call on for help if I feel out of my depth, but I'm very conscious of the 'cry wolf' syndrome.

I ended up calling backup for one of them ... really not sure if I should or not. And the reason was only for clinical support (someone to ask "shit am I doing the right thing here??"). When my station manager arrived (she's a Paramedic) I asked her if I did the right by calling her and she told me "totally!! I was actually considering calling a helicopter in" Phew!

At 8pm I rang Bill from the station for a chat and he suggested him and the kids come to the station for dinner. They arrived at 8.20pm, walked in the door, put the dinner on the coffee table and ... beeep, beeeep, beep, beep!!!! Couldn't believe it! Sorry guys gotta go! So I saw them for all of 30secs! lol

As I was coming back from Thames hospital at about 11pm I got a call from the area manager to ask how I was and did I want them to cover the rest of my shift. I gratefully accepted and went home to flop into bed. Putting my head on the pillow at 12.52am, I'd been awake since 2am the day before ... bar 1.5hrs I managed to sneak in naps throughout the day. Before you freak out at me I wasn't driving for all that time, I was the treating officer in the back. But I don't think I'll be doing two frontline shifts in a row again ... too much!

I'm off to bed for a nana nap! I'll be back on later to check up on blogs.

Nite nite!

How much is a loss worth??

2007-11-16T06:56:00.000+13:00

With knowing for weeks that I had this practical exam Bill chose to go fishing yesterday!! Grrr!! Meaning I was working on my feet all day in the shop and by 2pm my ankle had blown up like a balloon. I needed to get it elevated before my exam at 7pm! He walked in at 2.20pm and I asked him how long he would be. "Won't be long, just have to fillet the fish" He said. One hour and forty minutes later I was still working!! By 4pm I was in such a foul mood and yes a few of those unspeakable words came out of my mouth (under my breath of course). So when the staff arrived I took off to the station without a word to Bill. (He did apologise later saying it took him that long to fillet the 45 fish they got ... yep 45!!!)

When I got to the station I was so hoping mad, I went straight up to the evil snack box! What's the most wicked thing I can eat??? I put my money in the box for a bag of salt and vinegar chips. By the time I came down the stairs I realised what I was doing. Light bulb moment!!! I eat when I'm angry!! Not out of comfort but a need to punish someone. Punishing myself wasn't the answer and put the chips down on the coffee table. I grabbed the keys and went down to the local subway and bought myself a 6" sub and vegetarian salad instead. I did it! I recognised the trigger and stopped it! Half an hour later I put the chips back in the snack box even tho I couldn't get my money back. My weightloss this week is worth far more than $1.50!!

Three of us sitting at the station waiting to do our practical assessment and what happens?? The pager goes off and with it goes one of our assessors and the 'actor patient' ... off to a job! So a last minute ring around and we manage to get someone else to fill in.

Half an hour after we were supposed to start we finally get our assessments underway. Meanwhile our nervousness had shot through the roof. Lucky for all of us our assessor was a really laid back guy which made things more relaxing.

We were all marked on our questioning, assessment of a patient and patient care. It's always alot harder in a 'make believe' scenario than on the road, not sure why. Maybe because we know there is someone watching us, making sure we do it right and maybe because it's hard to actually feel like it's real.

After a quick 'paper, scissors, rock' I was second in turn. My scenario ... 48yr old male with unrelieved chest pain and no cardiac history. Nervousness took over a little meaning I couldn't find the ecg dots in the pack and put them on the wrong way. I didn't want to rip them and 100 hairs off the patient to reposition them so took the opportunity as 'senior officer' to tell my junior to 'fix it' while I kept questioning the patient. Don't you love delegation? My assessor had a chuckle when he told me he noticed my mistake. The only other thing I did wrong was not getting the oxygen on quick enough. But other than that I passed!!! wahooo!!!

Then last night was my first shift back onboard ... and what did I get for my first job at 2am??? Unrelieved cardiac chest pain with no cardiac history! lol and what was one of the first things I did?? Put oxygen on of course!! heheh Won't make that mistake again! The job went without a hiccup thanks to my 'practice run' earlier in the night!!

Back into bed around 3.30am, couldn't sleep much with a little too much adrenalin pumping round my body. Takes a bit to get back into the swing of things with having 6wks off. Then the alarm went off at 5.15am, up and getting ready for my day shift at Waihi Station.

A little nervous today. I'm senior officer with a newbie onboard. I'm sure all will be fine. Last night was a good kick start back into it. And so glad to be back!!!

Weighin tomorrow morning and waiting to see what my $1.50 weightloss will be ... heheh!

Another exam over and done with

2007-11-14T09:52:00.000+13:00

Had my exam last night. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be!! I think I did ok but don't know really for sure. I'm hoping for anything above 50%. I know I definately got some answers wrong and a couple I couldn't answer at all, had to put 'don't know'. Bugger! But there were others I wasn't sure of and got right. It wasn't so much a pass/fail exam but one that pinpointed our weaknesses to restudy before we start our National Certificate in Auckland next year.

So last night was the theory, Thursday night is the practical. Friday I go back on shift and I CAN'T WAIT!!! Roll on Friday!!!!

...

I've been tagged twice by two lovely ladies for two of those cute blogging games so here's my turn ...

Game one was from Kate ...

The rules ...

1-Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog
2-Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird
3-Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs
4- Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog

Fact one ... I am child number 3 of 4 children and always suffered from 'middle child syndrome' and became the black sheep of the family.
Fact two ... I did a 4yr degree in Design when I left school, worked 6mths in the design industry and then packed it all in, hating the job!
Fact three ... I was a lead singer of the Hamilton County Bluegrass Band for a year in high school, in which we travelled all around the country.
Fact four ... I have given birth four times with not one stitch needed for any of them
Fact five ... I lost 35kgs with Jenny Craig when I was 19 and got chosen to appear in an advert for them. I'd been away from my fiance (now hubby) for 2mths in the USA. I was supposed to fly in from the States and fly out the next day to Aussie for filming ... so I turned it down. I was chosen from over 500 applicants.
Fact six ... When I had my website last time after the magazine article came out I was getting over 1000 hits a day. And now regret being so public with it. Am enjoying the cosy circle of bloggers this time round.
Fact seven ... I absolutely LOVE fresh new season asparagus. So much so that this year Bill bought me a whole CRATE of the stuff ... just for me! I think that was a bit extreme! lol But kissed him thankyou anyway!

And the people I tag for this are ...

And rather than tag another set of people for the second one I choose the above ones again. This one was from the Zanny Zanna!!

The rules ...

Four dishes I like to cook

Lasagna (with handmade pasta)
Tomato/Coconut cream pasta
Fish pie
Stirfry

Four qualities I love in people

Loyalty
Honesty
Acceptance
Humour

Four places I have been

Canada
Tahiti
Mexico
Hawaii

Four things in my bedroom

My GIANT teddybear (a metre tall sitting down)
My ambulance pager ... sits by my bed when I'm not on duty
Two guitars that I haven't picked up in years other than to dust them
Full length mirror

Four dirty words I like to use

Little shit! (call my cat that when he's naughty, luv him to bits tho the rascal!)
Dirty Bugger (aren't all males?)
Cant think of any others off hand, unless I'm real hopping mad and you don't want to hear those! lol

I'm fried ... but not deepfried

2007-11-12T17:59:00.000+13:00

I have my pre-entry exam tomorrow night for National Certificate (ambulance). So I've spent the day today at the station going over everything I've learnt so far. I think I have it all covered. Trying not to stress too much about it.

I didn't plan ahead enough tho. I took some water, an apple and a banana with me, figuring I'd go out and buy me some lunch. But I got away from home later than I'd planned and didn't want to 'waste' precious study time buy going down to shop. I'd eaten my banana and apple and by 1pm I was so ravenously hungry that I decided I needed food NOW!! I felt like I was going to faint. So unfortunately I gave in to the dreaded 'snack box' ... grrrrr!!

The good part was that I still pointed the packet of chips and licorice I ate. And I have a chance to work it back at dinner tonight.

Not much else ... my brain is fried! Does anyone know how many bonus points study earns?

Sinful temptation anyone??

2007-11-10T11:05:00.000+13:00

I've changed my weighin day to Saturdays. I've teamed up with two email buddies to give me some accountability and we all weigh in on the same days. So that meant only a 3 day week this week between weighins.

Results today ... 1.5kg loss!! Wahoo! My tracking and inspiration kickstart has paid off. It's so nice to be back in control again. I decided to do a google search on "1.5kg" and it's fascinating what comes up ... I found this pic in my search ...

A 1.5kg 'Sinful Moist Chocolate Cake'

Very ironic ... Would I much rather eat the 1.5kg sinful moist chocolate cake? Or have 1.5kgs gone off my hips? Hmmm ... given how good it felt to see that 1.5kgs gone on the scales this morning ... I choose to lose the 1.5kgs! Besides, no matter how sinful this cake is I'm pretty sure I'd feel pretty sick after it!!

I went out to a potluck dinner last night to farewell an ambulance officer leaving. They had a huge spread put on but I stuck to just the salads and no dessert. With that and the few drinks I had I managed to stay pretty much within points (went over by 2pts) so I'm happy with that.

I went to my surgeon appointment yesterday. He couldn't believe how well I was walking. No limp, he even thought I had a bounce in my step. I asked him if I could go back to ambulance earlier (still have another 3wks on my medical certificate).
"Sure!!" He said "when do you want to go back?"
"Ummm ... today??" lol I think he was a bit taken back by that because there was an awkward silence ...
"Probably not today. You're doing so well. I'm really impressed but I think we need at least another week before going back, to insure your ankle boots don't irritate the wound"
Although as disappointed as I was I understood where he was coming from. So we compromised at a week and I'm officially discharged from his care. I can deal with that, one week's not so bad.

I've finished my shift in the shop today and tomorrow is my day off so plan on having a quiet weekend with so much going on this last week, think I need to take it easy.

Ohh nooo!! So much for taking it easy ... getting paged to the shop, they must be busy. Amazing how the people come out of hiding when the sun's out ... better go

Shmokin!!

2007-11-08T21:45:00.000+13:00

My great aunty (aged 82yrs) sadly died on Sunday so today I travelled down with my sister and brother in law to New Plymouth for her funeral. Was good catching up on all our news. It was our first proper catchup (other than phone calls and txts) since the funeral of her boys 3mths ago. Wow, can't believe how quickly time has flown by! My bro in law couldn't believe how much two chicks could talk ... continuously for the 3hr trip there and back ... hey we had a lot to catch up on!

I am SO back on track it's fantastic ... I'm on fire again ... finally!! Been months since I was excited about losing weight. I started off the day with a light brekkie (choc up & go 1pt) to allow for those funeral 'must eats to fit in and fill in time' foods while politely sipping tea and telling all the other great aunties how well we are doing ... my favourite scenario ... NOT! Don't get me wrong I love them all but repeating the same thing over and over is not my cup of tea.

Anyway, backtracking a bit ... calling into a cafe for lunch I had everything under control seeing a 'lightly seared scallops served on a lettuce salad' choice on the menu. I reiterated to the waitress (very politely of course) that I needed the scallops cooked in as little oil as possible. She assured me that wouldn't be a problem ... ehemm ... on receiving our lunch (40mins later!!) it was DRIPPING WITH OIL!! Not just the scallops but the 'salad' (bowl of lettuce with a few slices of tomato) was dripping so much that the lettuce had gone see-through!! Yuck!! I ate the scallops and a quarter of the lettuce and left the rest! But it was marginally better than my sisters lunch ... a chicken fillet burger with the fillet still RAW in the middle!!! (she put it down as soon as she realised).

The funeral was very sweet, she lived a wonderful fulfilled life and was a dag of a lady!!! I did very well at the funeral with all the food around me to temp me considering my growling tummy!! I consumed only 3 mini club sandwiches.

Then on the way home had a vege salad (no cheese) and lamb 6inch sub ... yummo!! All fitting in my points for the day ... ohhh and I tried the new 'fling' choc bar ... boy oh boy are they good!!! And only 3.5pts for the whole thing or 2pts for 1 of the twin bars. Quite low in points ... but dangerous!!!

For those of you wondering how my foot is going ... here's a pic ...

I meet with the surgeon tomorrow to check how it's going. I'm secretly hoping he'll give me clearance to go back on the ambulance. Infact I have my hopes set so high, I'm taking my uniform in the car and if I get the go ahead will go onto duty after the 10.15am appointment ... fingers crossed!!

I need to bottle this mojo ... or even better find the recipe, and give it out to everybody!!!

have I undone all my hard work???

2007-11-07T08:18:00.000+13:00

Been dreading this moment for quite a few weeks now. Infact totally put it out of my head because I just didn't want to face the music. I knew it would be bad!!

I haven't stepped on those scales for over 6wks!!! For the past few days I felt like I was back up to 122kgs again! Pants getting tight on me again, and that familiar FAT feeling! And last night when I didn't stop dreaming about being fat all night, I knew I had to do something about it ... it was sending my brain in circles!!

I had brief thoughts of going back on plan for a week or so, then getting on those stupid scales ... get a grip girlfriend!! I needed to get it sorted NOW not in a weeks time ... NOW!!

So first thing @ 6.15am I got up to DO IT!! Of course doing my morning toilet stop first! :)

Yep it was definately a gain ... but no I wasn't up to 122kgs again ... THANK GOODNESS!! 110.9kgs ...yep I can deal with that, considering my naughtiness I think I got off pretty lightly!!

So ... yep I'm back ontrack this morning, starting off with bacon, poached egg, baked beans (all 5.5pts) ... good girl I am ... breakfast is my biggest downfall ... don't often have it unless I'm ontrack. Have my water out, and gonna resist those lollies, chips and icecreams!!!

Reactions good and bad, but all fun!

2007-11-02T14:32:00.000+13:00

Thankyou for your lovely comments :) I must say I've quite a range of reactions from all over the spectrum ...

... my dad didn't notice till my brother walked in the room and commented how cool it was. He said "you had that hair cut the other day" not even seeing the colour difference! lol

... my ambo area manager walked in the station the other day and all I heard was "BLOODY HELL!! Lynette go get a hair rinse!!" He then carried on about not wanting to offend me so he wouldn't tell me what it looked like. I told him the money it cost to get it done was worth it just to get that reaction from him. "So you actually PAID someone to do that to you!?" LOL!! To let you in on a secret he has the ugliest old fashioned bowl haircut, I'd much rather have my hair ANYDAY. lol! The funny thing was his wife walked in a few moments later, straight up to tell me how much she loved my hair!!!

... I've had lovely comments from all ranges, young and old and I'm quite surprised at that, given the brightness. The photos I posted don't really show up the flouresence of the red which is actually quite pink - hehe!

I officially accepted the role of Team Leader for Waihi Beach First Responce Ambulance today (voluntary). I've done alot of pros and cons thinking, talking to people. Some warning me, some encouraging ... but at the end of the day I want a paid position and if this will be a stepping stone in getting me there then that's what counts.

I go for an official handover next Tuesday (explanation of the role) and take over as of the 1st December.

Not alot else to tell ... same ol', same 'ol

Just what the doctor ordered!

2007-10-31T17:19:00.000+13:00

I got the sweetest phone call from Lynise on Monday to say she was kidnapping me for the day on Wednesday and taking me to her hairdresser to get rid of the greys I mentioned in my blog. I was blown away and it was the best thing I needed!!

So at 10am she picked me up and off we went. I nervously walked in to her hairdressor and had to admit that my haircut was home done. How embarrasing but she was lovely about it.

We discussed what colour I wanted and I told her something bright and 'punkish'! (delayed teenage rebellion coming out in me). "Cool! We'll have some fun" she said.

It was so nice having a hairdressor actually listen to me and not talk me out of something radical. We decided on a bright red, blonde with a dark brown base.

As she was washing the colour out she made a comment about it being VERY BRIGHT! As I took a look in the mirror I told her I LOVED IT! A look of relief come over her face followed by a big smile.

I got her to 'trim' up the mistakes and I had to chuckle as she commented how tricky it was to trim something that 'had no rules'.

Then she proceeded to get out the hairdryer!! I exclaimed "are you going to blowdry my hair?". She saw the look of horror on my face and asked "Oh don't you blowdry your hair?" Ohhh nooo!! Me and the hairdryer don't see eye to eye! lol but told her to go ahead anyway.

After a few moments she realised what I was talking about. "ohh I see what you mean" lol. A bit more product later and it was fine.

Taa Daa!!!

Lynise and I then went for a coffee and bite to eat at a cafe down the road. I suddenly realised my unusual haircut wasn't so unusual. In the few hours at the cafe I saw 3 people with the same haircut!! lol

We had a great catchup and talked the hours away!

Thankyou so much Lynise!! What a godsend you are!!!

GUESS WHAT I DID???

2007-10-26T16:35:00.000+13:00

I AM SOOOOO BORED!!!! No shop work ... no ambulance work ... arrghhhh!!! And you know what I do when I get bored??? ....

I make rash decisions on the spot ... some good ones ... some bad ...

so guess what I did today .... out of pure boredom ....

I CUT OF ALL MY HAIR!!! ARRGHHHHH!!!! Four years taken to grow it ... and it's all gone!!

Here's the result ...

I don't regret it ... yet ... lol! Been thinking about getting it cut off for a while now. And btw it's on purpose that they're in black and white ... still need to get rid of the greys!! lol

And in amongst my blah moments the last few days I got some nerve wracking, nail biting, but 'think I can do it' news ...

The head of Waihi Beach First Response Ambulance is resigning and I've been offered the job. Still voluntary but will include some great skills to achieve and help me towards getting that paid position eventually. I haven't officially accepted the role yet, have to weigh up the time factors, but it will be a challenging but exciting role if I do take it.